Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Gerard And Grace: A My Chemical Romance Story
Chapter One: Gerard's Fall
1 reviewGerard finds out some stuff about himself as he walks down the main street of a lonely town. Soon, he gets caught in a blizzard. Alone.
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"I have to go. I will always love you." The words still rang in Gerard's head. He slowly sipped his coffee and looked out of the back window of the cafe. It was lightly snowing outside and the the sidewalks were covered with a fluffy whiteness. He had gone to get coffee because the strong beverage acted like an alcohal to him. Since he had quit drinking, he needed something else to substitute his addiction and he chose coffee and cigarettes. Right now, he was in great need of a relaxer, especially since it was so cold outside and his nerves were very worked up because of an earlier arguement with Frank.
He pushed aside a few failed sketches that he had drawn, hoping to take his mind off of Frank and the others. He began to add up all of the events that led to his sitting in the lonely cafe. It all started when Brian had given him a call asking if they would like to play at a local airport so that they could raise money for the broken and homeless. Gerard knew exactly why Brian had asked for them to play the show, so, without asking the other band members, he booked the place for the next evening and went to the RV.
Gerard collected his things and threw away the empty container which had once held warm coffee. He went to the front and paid the guy behind the register. While looking in his wallet, he felt pretty empty. The band had never been paid much, but with all the sucess they had made, he thought that his wallet should be alot more heavy than it was now. He left through the single glass door, threw his scarf around his face and neck, then headed up the street for his hotel. It was now only 30 degrees, but Gerard felt really warm, probably from the large beverage he had just gulped down.
The day of the concert was a total wreck. Frank's guitar had broken on the way there, and they had no extras. Gerard thought to himself for a moment, trying to remember what had started the harsh conflict. "Gerard, just stop." Oh yeah, his complaining toward Frank. Hey, it wasn't as if it was his fault. If Frank had taken greater responsibility in taking care of his things, the whole thing wouldn't have started. He continued down the street. He could feel the temperature slowly decrease and his face started to tingle a bit. Frank started to get annoyed after Gerard had asked if there was any way that they could continue with the concert and started to taunt his lack of sexual relationships. "Oh, yeah," Frank had started. "You are still a virgin. Very Catholic now I see. Oh, or maybe it's because no girl wants to be with you. Even your pathetic excuse for a friend, Chris." Gerard felt his eyes begin to burn.
He headed up East Main, very cold now. The top of his fingers were very numb now, and his eyes started to water. Gerard couldn't decide though if it was from the cold or from the memory of Chris. He turned rather red in the face and began coughing, hard. Just the thought of her made him sick. He had alot of great times with her, though she did treat him like dirt, only wanting him for his fame.
Gerard was alone now. Ray and Bob had an interview with FUSE asking about their first time playing a show at an old airport. Mikey had convinced Frank to come to a local comic shop so that he could set things straight between his only brother (Mikey's older brother Gerard) and Frank. Gerard felt guilty about leaving Mikey to do the job. Gerard was the older brother and it was his conflict. Yet Mikey knew that all he had left was family and the band were all that he had left, and knew that if he were to lose that, things would be pretty bad.
It was very cold now, very cold. Gerard had no feeling in his face, his eyes were really wet, his nose was a dark red, and his once soft, pink lips became hard, chapped and a light shade of purple. His legs started to burn, not from walking, but his joints seemed to be frozen. He couldn't stop into any shops to warm up since there were none around. It was only him, the brick wall to his right, and the passing cars that seemed to be going increadibly fast to Gerard. He could barely see now, his scarf wasn't helping at all. The snow was very heavy now, like a hurricane of snow, and Gerard decided that he had never been in such weather like this before. He did not have his cell phone with him, which he now regretted, and left his car at the hotel because he had decided that he needed the walk. Gerard began to think of mountain climbers and how they went through worse stuff than this, but the thought of never being warm again made him feel even worse. His stomach started to tighten and his breath hitched. His heart was pounding madly in his chest. Thoughts of warm, summer days filled his mind. He badly wished that he were at his hotel room, drinking a hot cup of hot chocolate, sitting in that red, velvet armchair next to the lit fireplace. He wished. Badly.
"Always love you." Gerard stopped for a few moments. The burning came back in his eyes. Chris. The last words that she had ever said to him before... his knees hit the sidewalk. Gerard sat in the middle of the sidewalk, horrible memories filling his sore head, not that he could feel it. It was beyond freezing, and him sitting in the snow did not help it at all. He pushed his long, black hair out of his face and started to cry. Although he could not feel them, he knew that large, heavy tears were streaming down his face. After Chris, Gerard began to expieriment with his orientation, leading to alot of strange things. He knew that what he had done and was currently doing was very wrong indeed, yet the feeling of one man's lips on his own made him feel wanted again. Why? Why? Why had he let her walk out the door that day without him, without any sign of emotion from him.
The tears continued to come, and Gerard felt very sorry for himself now, for letting her go. Although he knew that bisexuality was bad, he felt very good about it. He tried to remember his first time and realized that it was with Frank because he had known that Gerard was hurt and that he had to take the hurt away.
Gerard could not feel any part of his body except for his hands. He took them out of his pockets and buried his face in them. He was not just crying, but feeling the cause of the tears. And with one last gust of wind, fell over and everything went dark.
He pushed aside a few failed sketches that he had drawn, hoping to take his mind off of Frank and the others. He began to add up all of the events that led to his sitting in the lonely cafe. It all started when Brian had given him a call asking if they would like to play at a local airport so that they could raise money for the broken and homeless. Gerard knew exactly why Brian had asked for them to play the show, so, without asking the other band members, he booked the place for the next evening and went to the RV.
Gerard collected his things and threw away the empty container which had once held warm coffee. He went to the front and paid the guy behind the register. While looking in his wallet, he felt pretty empty. The band had never been paid much, but with all the sucess they had made, he thought that his wallet should be alot more heavy than it was now. He left through the single glass door, threw his scarf around his face and neck, then headed up the street for his hotel. It was now only 30 degrees, but Gerard felt really warm, probably from the large beverage he had just gulped down.
The day of the concert was a total wreck. Frank's guitar had broken on the way there, and they had no extras. Gerard thought to himself for a moment, trying to remember what had started the harsh conflict. "Gerard, just stop." Oh yeah, his complaining toward Frank. Hey, it wasn't as if it was his fault. If Frank had taken greater responsibility in taking care of his things, the whole thing wouldn't have started. He continued down the street. He could feel the temperature slowly decrease and his face started to tingle a bit. Frank started to get annoyed after Gerard had asked if there was any way that they could continue with the concert and started to taunt his lack of sexual relationships. "Oh, yeah," Frank had started. "You are still a virgin. Very Catholic now I see. Oh, or maybe it's because no girl wants to be with you. Even your pathetic excuse for a friend, Chris." Gerard felt his eyes begin to burn.
He headed up East Main, very cold now. The top of his fingers were very numb now, and his eyes started to water. Gerard couldn't decide though if it was from the cold or from the memory of Chris. He turned rather red in the face and began coughing, hard. Just the thought of her made him sick. He had alot of great times with her, though she did treat him like dirt, only wanting him for his fame.
Gerard was alone now. Ray and Bob had an interview with FUSE asking about their first time playing a show at an old airport. Mikey had convinced Frank to come to a local comic shop so that he could set things straight between his only brother (Mikey's older brother Gerard) and Frank. Gerard felt guilty about leaving Mikey to do the job. Gerard was the older brother and it was his conflict. Yet Mikey knew that all he had left was family and the band were all that he had left, and knew that if he were to lose that, things would be pretty bad.
It was very cold now, very cold. Gerard had no feeling in his face, his eyes were really wet, his nose was a dark red, and his once soft, pink lips became hard, chapped and a light shade of purple. His legs started to burn, not from walking, but his joints seemed to be frozen. He couldn't stop into any shops to warm up since there were none around. It was only him, the brick wall to his right, and the passing cars that seemed to be going increadibly fast to Gerard. He could barely see now, his scarf wasn't helping at all. The snow was very heavy now, like a hurricane of snow, and Gerard decided that he had never been in such weather like this before. He did not have his cell phone with him, which he now regretted, and left his car at the hotel because he had decided that he needed the walk. Gerard began to think of mountain climbers and how they went through worse stuff than this, but the thought of never being warm again made him feel even worse. His stomach started to tighten and his breath hitched. His heart was pounding madly in his chest. Thoughts of warm, summer days filled his mind. He badly wished that he were at his hotel room, drinking a hot cup of hot chocolate, sitting in that red, velvet armchair next to the lit fireplace. He wished. Badly.
"Always love you." Gerard stopped for a few moments. The burning came back in his eyes. Chris. The last words that she had ever said to him before... his knees hit the sidewalk. Gerard sat in the middle of the sidewalk, horrible memories filling his sore head, not that he could feel it. It was beyond freezing, and him sitting in the snow did not help it at all. He pushed his long, black hair out of his face and started to cry. Although he could not feel them, he knew that large, heavy tears were streaming down his face. After Chris, Gerard began to expieriment with his orientation, leading to alot of strange things. He knew that what he had done and was currently doing was very wrong indeed, yet the feeling of one man's lips on his own made him feel wanted again. Why? Why? Why had he let her walk out the door that day without him, without any sign of emotion from him.
The tears continued to come, and Gerard felt very sorry for himself now, for letting her go. Although he knew that bisexuality was bad, he felt very good about it. He tried to remember his first time and realized that it was with Frank because he had known that Gerard was hurt and that he had to take the hurt away.
Gerard could not feel any part of his body except for his hands. He took them out of his pockets and buried his face in them. He was not just crying, but feeling the cause of the tears. And with one last gust of wind, fell over and everything went dark.
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