Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Comfort from a Nightmare (Completed)
Title: Comfort from a Nightmare Chapter 1
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Summary: This is set during the Mauraders' sixth year at Hogwarts. As Remus tries to sleep, he hears Sirius have a bad dream.
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, implied torture
Disclaimer: The original characters come from the mind of J K Rowling. I don't own them and I'm certainly not making any profit from this.
Beta: darklove_zorg (Live Journal and Greatest Journal)
Notes: This is not about Remus and Sirius declaring their love for each other. It's more about the two being in love and being in denial and about an unselfish act that could bring them together. And it was influenced by this art: http://www.squidge.org/~praxisters/puppylove.html
Review: Yes please
Remus was finding it hard to sleep. He had been studying all night but had stopped an hour ago because he had begun to get headaches and he thought that perhaps he needed sleep. But now, as he lay in bed, he just could not get his brain to cooperate. Too many ideas and too many thoughts were swimming about in his head and he felt his brain moving faster than the fastest broom ever built.
Most of his thoughts were on the upcoming NEWTs that he had been studying for over the past few months. Now that it was after Christmas, he was feeling much busier than ever and these days he was doubting himself, doubting that he could take on so much work and still pass his exams. But there was only one thing that truly dominated his mind tonight- the beautiful young man who was sleeping in the bed next to his own.
Remus tried not to think about him but recently he had finally accepted the truth he was in love with Sirius Black. It was a fact he had been avoiding for the past year- he had tried to deny his homosexual feelings and tried to find other reasons why he felt so strongly for Sirius but in the end, he had given into the truth. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, make love to him and just be with him. He loved everything about Sirius- his long wild black hair, his grey eyes that twinkle whenever he was up to mischief, his cheeky smile and how it always lit up his face, his beautiful body that had toned so well over the years.
In reality though, the truth made him sad for he knew that Sirius would never want him in that way. After all, he was a ladies man and he flirted with the girls at Hogwarts frequently. Why would a straight man ever want a gay man?
Suddenly his thoughts of Sirius were interrupted by the faint sounds of whimpering. To Remus, it sounded like an animal in pain or distress. He got out of his bed and pulled on his pyjama bottoms on his naked frame before moving to the window. He opened the window and felt a cool winter breeze across his chest. He peered out of the window trying to see if there was an injured animal outside. He could not see anything but the crying was still as clear as ever.
He closed the window but still gazed outside into the night sky, wondering whether the sounds were simply in his head. Maybe they were a sign that he was very tired and he was experiencing insomnia. He sighed and returned his bed, attempting once more to sleep.
It was then that he heard another sound. It was the sound of sheets being tossed and turned upon, as if someone were having a restless sleep. He then realised where the sounds were coming from. They were coming from the bed next to him- they were coming from Sirius.
He rose once more, moving towards Sirius' bed quietly, opening the drapes. He could see Sirius lying on his side with his back towards Remus. He leaned over and saw that he was sleeping but he was also crying and squirming in his sleep.
"No...." Sirius murmured, "Mother..... Father.... please..... no.."
Remus realised that Sirius must be having a nightmare about his life at Grimmauld Place. He had always known that Sirius had not gotten along with his parents but Sirius had said that over the Christmas holidays, life at home had become worse. He had not gone into any details- all he said was that he did not want to go back.
"No..... please."
Sirius' voice was becoming louder and more urgent and pleading. Remus felt his heart break and without a moment's hesitation climbed into Sirius' bed and held him close so Remus' chest was pressed against Sirius' naked back.
Remus stroked and kissed Sirius hair "Shhhhh..... Sirius," he whispered "It's okay."
The night dragged on and Sirius became more urgent and pleading in his sleep but Remus still held on and comforted him, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, never knowing if Sirius ever heard the messages. But he tried anyway. He would keep trying for his friend until he clamed down even if it took all night. The more urgent Sirius became in his sleep, the tighter Remus held him and the more determined he became to soothe him. Remus felt the urge to sleep at one point but he would not let himself sleep. Sirius needed him now, needed him to comfort him and hopefully make the nightmare go away. Sirius had always been there for him and now it was time to be there for Sirius.
At the peak of the nightmare, Sirius curled up into a ball and his muscles tensed up. He cried "Crucio... Not Crucio.... please... Mother.... Father.... Don't....."
Remus held onto him as tight as he could and said, "Sirius, you're not at home anymore. No-one is going to hurt you anymore. Everything's okay, I promise. I love you, baby. Oh, I love you so much."
Moments later, Sirius' muscles relaxed and there was silence. Within a few minutes, Sirius was still and his breathing was even which indicated that he was still asleep but the nightmare was over and he was at peace in his sleep.
Remus knew he should go back to his own bed but he could not. This felt right being in the same bed as Sirius, holding and comforting him. He knew it was wrong to be here but he did not care. He knew he would never get a chance to share Sirius' bed as a lover and have the chance to be his. He just wanted one night being this physically close to him. He decided to return to his own bed when the sun rose. However, it was not long before Remus felt his eyes began to become heavy and he fell asleep by Sirius' side.
Sirius was the first to wake up. As his eyes and brain awakened, he began to recall what had happened the previous night. It was the same as it had been for the past few weeks. He had had another bad dream. His dreams had been of his mother and father beating and humiliating him just as they had always done, this time when he had returned home for the Christmas holidays.
His parents had always shown their disapproval of Sirius being against the beliefs of the Black family but they had never been violent before. During the holidays, they had physically and mentally abused him. Every night they had punched and kicked him until he could no long walk. When he could not move, they had called him insulting names whilst Kreacher had pointed and laughed and joined in the name calling.
Christmas Day had been the worst day though. Sirius had received no presents and when it came to Christmas dinner, he had been forced to sit at the family table whilst his family had eaten and taunted in front of him. During Christmas dinner, Sirius had received an owl with a letter but his mother had caught and read the letter before Sirius had gotten the chance. He had no idea what was written on the letter but from the look on his mother's face, he knew it was worse than bad.
After Christmas dinner, his mother and father had punched and kicked him much harder than before. They abused him so much that there was blood flowing from his body when it was over. When they eventually stopped, they had placed the Cruciatus Curse on him. The pain was worse than a million kicks and the torture had lasted an hour before he passed out.
As soon as his parents and Kreacher had gone to sleep, he secretly packed, stolen a large bag of money from his parents and walked out of the house for good. It was not long before he was found by the Knight Bus which took him to the Leaky Cauldron. He had spent the rest of the holidays there, keeping to his room until the time came for the train to leave for Hogwarts. He had not told any of his friends what had happened- the incident had happened a few weeks earlier and he was not ready to talk about it.
And now even though he was now far away from them and he did not intend to go back to Grimmauld Place, the trauma of the events was still fresh in his memory. The one thing that had kept him going though the holidays and the nightmares was his secret love for Remus. He had been in love with Remus for such a long a time. His beautiful wild brown hair, his eyes that were full of life despite all he had to suffer every month, the shy smile, the way his fringe fell over his eyes. For as long as he could remember, he had wanted to hold him, kiss and just show Remus how much he meant to him.
However, he knew that Remus would not be interested. After all, why would such a beautiful, kind and intelligent young man like Remus be in love with a loose cannon like Sirius? He was not worth Remus' love. He knew Remus would only see him as a friend. He had tried to deny his feelings for Remus by flirting and kissing girls but it could not fill the void in his heart.
When he had fully awakened, he realised that his back was feeling hotter than the rest of his body. As he focused, he saw a hand near his face. He turned slowly and saw an arm draped around him. In shock, he turned around completely and saw Remus sleeping peacefully by his side.
Sirius did not know what to believe. Why was Remus in his bed? Could it be.....? Sirius did not want to say what he thought in his head for it could not be true. He boldly swept Remus' brown fringe from his forehead and he saw black circles under his eyes as if he had been up all night. For no reason he could think of, he suddenly remembered the end of his dream:
Sirius was on the floor. He could hear Kreacher nearby taunting him as he lay on the floor feeling weak and sore as well as wet patches of blood on his back and his legs. He looked up trying to hold back the tears in his eyes and saw his mother and father pull out their wants and point at him. He heard his mother shout "CRUCIO!" and there was an instant pain in his brain and he could not help but scream and his mother and father laughed manically.
"Not the Crucio. Please Mother Father NOT THE CRUCIO!" he cried out.
It was then he saw a white light and his mother, father and Kreacher as well as the whole of Grimmauld Place had disappeared. He then saw a single figure surrounded in a white light. The figure came towards him and Sirius could see it was Remus. He knelt down besides Sirius and held out his hand.
"Sirius," Remus said softly, "you're not at home anymore. No-one is going to hurt you anymore. Everything's okay, I promise. I love you, baby. Oh, I love you so much."
Sirius took hold of Remus' hand and then suddenly everything went white.....
Sirius could not remember anything after that so he guessed that the rest of his sleep was dreamless. He was surprised that Remus had appeared in his dream. That had never happened before and now not only had he saved him in his nightmare, he was now in his bed for real just as Sirius had always wanted. He had been holding him as if he was protecting him. Could it be that it was more than just a coincidence? What if Remus had heard him struggle in the nightmare and had held him until he was calm?
And what if..... just what if the words he heard from the dream-Remus were real? That as Sirius struggled, Remus had calmed and soothed and had declared his love for him? No, it could not be possible. It just could not. He was not worth Remus' love. It must have been a moment of insanity in the nightmare.
And yet it all seemed true: the fact that Remus was in his bed, the fact that he had seen Remus in his dream coming to save him, surely the words he heard must have been true. And if they were....... Sirius' eyes filled up at the thought of his precious and beautiful Remus being in love with him. He suddenly felt brave- he had not felt this good in a while since the nightmares had started.
I will ask him/. Sirius thought. /As soon as he opens his eyes, I will hold him the way he held me as I slept and I will not let him go. And I will ask him if I had said the words I had heard in the nightmare- that I wanted his words to be true. If he says yes, I will kiss him there and then and declare my love for him. And if he says no, well...... I will cross that bridge when it comes to that.
Sirius snuggled into Remus' arms and held him as he slept. He could see the sunlight coming in through the small gap in the drapes.
Not long now Sirius thought Not long now.....
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Summary: This is set during the Mauraders' sixth year at Hogwarts. As Remus tries to sleep, he hears Sirius have a bad dream.
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, implied torture
Disclaimer: The original characters come from the mind of J K Rowling. I don't own them and I'm certainly not making any profit from this.
Beta: darklove_zorg (Live Journal and Greatest Journal)
Notes: This is not about Remus and Sirius declaring their love for each other. It's more about the two being in love and being in denial and about an unselfish act that could bring them together. And it was influenced by this art: http://www.squidge.org/~praxisters/puppylove.html
Review: Yes please
Remus was finding it hard to sleep. He had been studying all night but had stopped an hour ago because he had begun to get headaches and he thought that perhaps he needed sleep. But now, as he lay in bed, he just could not get his brain to cooperate. Too many ideas and too many thoughts were swimming about in his head and he felt his brain moving faster than the fastest broom ever built.
Most of his thoughts were on the upcoming NEWTs that he had been studying for over the past few months. Now that it was after Christmas, he was feeling much busier than ever and these days he was doubting himself, doubting that he could take on so much work and still pass his exams. But there was only one thing that truly dominated his mind tonight- the beautiful young man who was sleeping in the bed next to his own.
Remus tried not to think about him but recently he had finally accepted the truth he was in love with Sirius Black. It was a fact he had been avoiding for the past year- he had tried to deny his homosexual feelings and tried to find other reasons why he felt so strongly for Sirius but in the end, he had given into the truth. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, make love to him and just be with him. He loved everything about Sirius- his long wild black hair, his grey eyes that twinkle whenever he was up to mischief, his cheeky smile and how it always lit up his face, his beautiful body that had toned so well over the years.
In reality though, the truth made him sad for he knew that Sirius would never want him in that way. After all, he was a ladies man and he flirted with the girls at Hogwarts frequently. Why would a straight man ever want a gay man?
Suddenly his thoughts of Sirius were interrupted by the faint sounds of whimpering. To Remus, it sounded like an animal in pain or distress. He got out of his bed and pulled on his pyjama bottoms on his naked frame before moving to the window. He opened the window and felt a cool winter breeze across his chest. He peered out of the window trying to see if there was an injured animal outside. He could not see anything but the crying was still as clear as ever.
He closed the window but still gazed outside into the night sky, wondering whether the sounds were simply in his head. Maybe they were a sign that he was very tired and he was experiencing insomnia. He sighed and returned his bed, attempting once more to sleep.
It was then that he heard another sound. It was the sound of sheets being tossed and turned upon, as if someone were having a restless sleep. He then realised where the sounds were coming from. They were coming from the bed next to him- they were coming from Sirius.
He rose once more, moving towards Sirius' bed quietly, opening the drapes. He could see Sirius lying on his side with his back towards Remus. He leaned over and saw that he was sleeping but he was also crying and squirming in his sleep.
"No...." Sirius murmured, "Mother..... Father.... please..... no.."
Remus realised that Sirius must be having a nightmare about his life at Grimmauld Place. He had always known that Sirius had not gotten along with his parents but Sirius had said that over the Christmas holidays, life at home had become worse. He had not gone into any details- all he said was that he did not want to go back.
"No..... please."
Sirius' voice was becoming louder and more urgent and pleading. Remus felt his heart break and without a moment's hesitation climbed into Sirius' bed and held him close so Remus' chest was pressed against Sirius' naked back.
Remus stroked and kissed Sirius hair "Shhhhh..... Sirius," he whispered "It's okay."
The night dragged on and Sirius became more urgent and pleading in his sleep but Remus still held on and comforted him, whispering sweet nothings into his ears, never knowing if Sirius ever heard the messages. But he tried anyway. He would keep trying for his friend until he clamed down even if it took all night. The more urgent Sirius became in his sleep, the tighter Remus held him and the more determined he became to soothe him. Remus felt the urge to sleep at one point but he would not let himself sleep. Sirius needed him now, needed him to comfort him and hopefully make the nightmare go away. Sirius had always been there for him and now it was time to be there for Sirius.
At the peak of the nightmare, Sirius curled up into a ball and his muscles tensed up. He cried "Crucio... Not Crucio.... please... Mother.... Father.... Don't....."
Remus held onto him as tight as he could and said, "Sirius, you're not at home anymore. No-one is going to hurt you anymore. Everything's okay, I promise. I love you, baby. Oh, I love you so much."
Moments later, Sirius' muscles relaxed and there was silence. Within a few minutes, Sirius was still and his breathing was even which indicated that he was still asleep but the nightmare was over and he was at peace in his sleep.
Remus knew he should go back to his own bed but he could not. This felt right being in the same bed as Sirius, holding and comforting him. He knew it was wrong to be here but he did not care. He knew he would never get a chance to share Sirius' bed as a lover and have the chance to be his. He just wanted one night being this physically close to him. He decided to return to his own bed when the sun rose. However, it was not long before Remus felt his eyes began to become heavy and he fell asleep by Sirius' side.
Sirius was the first to wake up. As his eyes and brain awakened, he began to recall what had happened the previous night. It was the same as it had been for the past few weeks. He had had another bad dream. His dreams had been of his mother and father beating and humiliating him just as they had always done, this time when he had returned home for the Christmas holidays.
His parents had always shown their disapproval of Sirius being against the beliefs of the Black family but they had never been violent before. During the holidays, they had physically and mentally abused him. Every night they had punched and kicked him until he could no long walk. When he could not move, they had called him insulting names whilst Kreacher had pointed and laughed and joined in the name calling.
Christmas Day had been the worst day though. Sirius had received no presents and when it came to Christmas dinner, he had been forced to sit at the family table whilst his family had eaten and taunted in front of him. During Christmas dinner, Sirius had received an owl with a letter but his mother had caught and read the letter before Sirius had gotten the chance. He had no idea what was written on the letter but from the look on his mother's face, he knew it was worse than bad.
After Christmas dinner, his mother and father had punched and kicked him much harder than before. They abused him so much that there was blood flowing from his body when it was over. When they eventually stopped, they had placed the Cruciatus Curse on him. The pain was worse than a million kicks and the torture had lasted an hour before he passed out.
As soon as his parents and Kreacher had gone to sleep, he secretly packed, stolen a large bag of money from his parents and walked out of the house for good. It was not long before he was found by the Knight Bus which took him to the Leaky Cauldron. He had spent the rest of the holidays there, keeping to his room until the time came for the train to leave for Hogwarts. He had not told any of his friends what had happened- the incident had happened a few weeks earlier and he was not ready to talk about it.
And now even though he was now far away from them and he did not intend to go back to Grimmauld Place, the trauma of the events was still fresh in his memory. The one thing that had kept him going though the holidays and the nightmares was his secret love for Remus. He had been in love with Remus for such a long a time. His beautiful wild brown hair, his eyes that were full of life despite all he had to suffer every month, the shy smile, the way his fringe fell over his eyes. For as long as he could remember, he had wanted to hold him, kiss and just show Remus how much he meant to him.
However, he knew that Remus would not be interested. After all, why would such a beautiful, kind and intelligent young man like Remus be in love with a loose cannon like Sirius? He was not worth Remus' love. He knew Remus would only see him as a friend. He had tried to deny his feelings for Remus by flirting and kissing girls but it could not fill the void in his heart.
When he had fully awakened, he realised that his back was feeling hotter than the rest of his body. As he focused, he saw a hand near his face. He turned slowly and saw an arm draped around him. In shock, he turned around completely and saw Remus sleeping peacefully by his side.
Sirius did not know what to believe. Why was Remus in his bed? Could it be.....? Sirius did not want to say what he thought in his head for it could not be true. He boldly swept Remus' brown fringe from his forehead and he saw black circles under his eyes as if he had been up all night. For no reason he could think of, he suddenly remembered the end of his dream:
Sirius was on the floor. He could hear Kreacher nearby taunting him as he lay on the floor feeling weak and sore as well as wet patches of blood on his back and his legs. He looked up trying to hold back the tears in his eyes and saw his mother and father pull out their wants and point at him. He heard his mother shout "CRUCIO!" and there was an instant pain in his brain and he could not help but scream and his mother and father laughed manically.
"Not the Crucio. Please Mother Father NOT THE CRUCIO!" he cried out.
It was then he saw a white light and his mother, father and Kreacher as well as the whole of Grimmauld Place had disappeared. He then saw a single figure surrounded in a white light. The figure came towards him and Sirius could see it was Remus. He knelt down besides Sirius and held out his hand.
"Sirius," Remus said softly, "you're not at home anymore. No-one is going to hurt you anymore. Everything's okay, I promise. I love you, baby. Oh, I love you so much."
Sirius took hold of Remus' hand and then suddenly everything went white.....
Sirius could not remember anything after that so he guessed that the rest of his sleep was dreamless. He was surprised that Remus had appeared in his dream. That had never happened before and now not only had he saved him in his nightmare, he was now in his bed for real just as Sirius had always wanted. He had been holding him as if he was protecting him. Could it be that it was more than just a coincidence? What if Remus had heard him struggle in the nightmare and had held him until he was calm?
And what if..... just what if the words he heard from the dream-Remus were real? That as Sirius struggled, Remus had calmed and soothed and had declared his love for him? No, it could not be possible. It just could not. He was not worth Remus' love. It must have been a moment of insanity in the nightmare.
And yet it all seemed true: the fact that Remus was in his bed, the fact that he had seen Remus in his dream coming to save him, surely the words he heard must have been true. And if they were....... Sirius' eyes filled up at the thought of his precious and beautiful Remus being in love with him. He suddenly felt brave- he had not felt this good in a while since the nightmares had started.
I will ask him/. Sirius thought. /As soon as he opens his eyes, I will hold him the way he held me as I slept and I will not let him go. And I will ask him if I had said the words I had heard in the nightmare- that I wanted his words to be true. If he says yes, I will kiss him there and then and declare my love for him. And if he says no, well...... I will cross that bridge when it comes to that.
Sirius snuggled into Remus' arms and held him as he slept. He could see the sunlight coming in through the small gap in the drapes.
Not long now Sirius thought Not long now.....
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