Categories > TV > Veronica Mars > Few Variables Change
few variables change
"You never told me you were such a slut, Veronica Mars."
Veronica swallows. "Lilly."
Lilly smiles the way she always does in these meetings (dreams? illusions?) and turns her head slightly. No matter how many times she sees it, Veronica still can't stomach the wound, and she closes her eyes.
"Did you like kissing my boyfriend?"
"Lilly, I'm sorry."
They are in Veronica's car and it's 11:17 at night. Lilly leans her head against the back of her seat and even though there won't be a bloodstain in the morning, Veronica knows she'll see it there anyway.
---
Two days later, and Logan still hasn't said a word about what Veronica has come to think of as The Kiss.
So she grabs his arm in the hallway after third period and pulls him into the darkened computer lab. He gets the wrong idea and before she can say a word he's kissing her again.
It's the wrong idea, she thinks briefly, but maybe not a bad one.
---
"I'm not angry at you, Veronica," Lilly says, and Veronica wonders if Lilly really did always speak in this teasing coo, playful and light and dangerous all at once. "Logan cheated on me when I was alive - what difference does it make now? Plus he's hot."
And Veronica realizes for the first time that she doesn't want her best friend back anymore.
"Be honest, Veronica Mars. Don't you think Logan is hot?"
"Lilly, stop it, please." But Veronica knows Lilly. Lilly won't stop.
"I remember the last time he fucked me." Lilly looks out the window and now Veronica can see it all - the gash, the caked blood in the blonde tangles. "It was after we broke up. I came over, just to be a tease."
"Lilly -"
"But I couldn't stand it any more than he could. He fucked me against the wall. He didn't even take my top off first." She turns back to Veronica and that slow, secret smile is on her lips again. "God, that was hot, Veronica. I even left scars on his back."
Veronica can't meet her eyes. "I'm glad to hear it," she says quietly.
---
Logan's room is messy. Veronica hasn't been here in weeks, but it looks exactly the same.
He holds the door for her and doesn't push. She isn't sure what to do with this Logan - this quieter, gentler Logan.
"Do you want a drink...?" Logan trails off clumsily and she moves closer. Her hip brushes his fingertips and he breathes in deep.
---
Veronica knows that Lilly will be leaving soon. She's started wrapping her hair around her finger, around and around and around, and when Lilly does this it means Lilly is bored.
"It won't end well," she says, and Veronica watches the hair slip off her slim finger again. "Nothing ends well. But you already know that."
Around and around and around. Veronica nods.
"So just ask yourself...is it worth it?"
---
Logan has her on his bed, has her almost on her back, and he's kissing her neck. One hand is in her hair, and when he runs his fingers through it down to her shoulder they keep moving, like they know it should be longer.
Soon their clothes will be too hot for the California sunshine that streams through the windows. Maybe she'll take hers off. Maybe she'll leave. But she doesn't really want to think about that right now.
Instead she wonders how well Logan knows his own ceiling.
"You never told me you were such a slut, Veronica Mars."
Veronica swallows. "Lilly."
Lilly smiles the way she always does in these meetings (dreams? illusions?) and turns her head slightly. No matter how many times she sees it, Veronica still can't stomach the wound, and she closes her eyes.
"Did you like kissing my boyfriend?"
"Lilly, I'm sorry."
They are in Veronica's car and it's 11:17 at night. Lilly leans her head against the back of her seat and even though there won't be a bloodstain in the morning, Veronica knows she'll see it there anyway.
---
Two days later, and Logan still hasn't said a word about what Veronica has come to think of as The Kiss.
So she grabs his arm in the hallway after third period and pulls him into the darkened computer lab. He gets the wrong idea and before she can say a word he's kissing her again.
It's the wrong idea, she thinks briefly, but maybe not a bad one.
---
"I'm not angry at you, Veronica," Lilly says, and Veronica wonders if Lilly really did always speak in this teasing coo, playful and light and dangerous all at once. "Logan cheated on me when I was alive - what difference does it make now? Plus he's hot."
And Veronica realizes for the first time that she doesn't want her best friend back anymore.
"Be honest, Veronica Mars. Don't you think Logan is hot?"
"Lilly, stop it, please." But Veronica knows Lilly. Lilly won't stop.
"I remember the last time he fucked me." Lilly looks out the window and now Veronica can see it all - the gash, the caked blood in the blonde tangles. "It was after we broke up. I came over, just to be a tease."
"Lilly -"
"But I couldn't stand it any more than he could. He fucked me against the wall. He didn't even take my top off first." She turns back to Veronica and that slow, secret smile is on her lips again. "God, that was hot, Veronica. I even left scars on his back."
Veronica can't meet her eyes. "I'm glad to hear it," she says quietly.
---
Logan's room is messy. Veronica hasn't been here in weeks, but it looks exactly the same.
He holds the door for her and doesn't push. She isn't sure what to do with this Logan - this quieter, gentler Logan.
"Do you want a drink...?" Logan trails off clumsily and she moves closer. Her hip brushes his fingertips and he breathes in deep.
---
Veronica knows that Lilly will be leaving soon. She's started wrapping her hair around her finger, around and around and around, and when Lilly does this it means Lilly is bored.
"It won't end well," she says, and Veronica watches the hair slip off her slim finger again. "Nothing ends well. But you already know that."
Around and around and around. Veronica nods.
"So just ask yourself...is it worth it?"
---
Logan has her on his bed, has her almost on her back, and he's kissing her neck. One hand is in her hair, and when he runs his fingers through it down to her shoulder they keep moving, like they know it should be longer.
Soon their clothes will be too hot for the California sunshine that streams through the windows. Maybe she'll take hers off. Maybe she'll leave. But she doesn't really want to think about that right now.
Instead she wonders how well Logan knows his own ceiling.
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