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• The Suicidal Immortal 2

  (#) mextaintedemo 2007-01-02

  lol wow
  i feel sorry for this guy

  Author's response

  and the sad thing is that I base most of this story off of my own life

• The Suicidal Immortal 2

  (#) xtearcatcherx 2007-01-08

  omg i just read ure reply to that review like ouchhhh...but since I started reading this I've started to cuss at God and it creeps people and its funny :D anyways...IT TOOK YA LONG ENUF TO UPDATE BUDDY!

  Author's response

  I’ve been cussing god out for years now, though at work just stick my middle fingers up at the sky. As for the delay, I’m working on several stories at once, when I add a chapter to one I work on another until I come full circle. I added a new chapter to this story ahead of schedule due to the number of requests I was getting. Since it’s so popular I guess I’ll give it more attention, hope you enjoy

• The Suicidal Immortal 2

  (#) Ithilwen 2007-01-14

  "that he enjoyed arguing with"
  
  With whom he enjoyed arguing (but since this sounds stuffy to a lot of people, I'd encourage you to consider poetic license).
  
  "but it was so tight that Derek could barely breath."
  
  Breathe.
  
  "so much so that management had tested him for drugs twice."
  
  This is hysterical.
  
  "hard not to loose his temper"
  
  I think you mean "lose" his temper. However, to "loose one's temper" is to "deliberately set one's temper loose and let it run wild."
  "a coworker, and because she had already filed a sexual harassment complaint against another guy"
  
  You dont need a comma before a coordinating conjunction unless the conjunction is followed by an independent clause. Since "and because she had filed a sexual harassment suit against another guy" couldn't be a sentence by itself (because of the "because"), no comma.
  
  "old looser with a drinking pro"
  
  loser
  
  Crud, this is funny.

  Author's response

  Thanks again. About the coordinating conjunction, I’m working on using something my grammar teacher talked about where you put excess information inside commas. Not sure if I’m doing it correctly but I’ll clear it up this semester in creative writing class.

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