Categories > Celebrities > Simple Plan > Alone In The Dark
Restarting again
1 reviewAfter the very last week in Montreal, Pierre has to leave this new home and head to Toronto. But it turns out to be that it isn't going to be that easy again.
0Unrated
Well, I guess that the hardest thing I had to do in that week was to tell Jessie that during the whole recording process we would only see each other in the weekends and I would probably be too tired in these two days to actually enjoy them. I would probably sleep the whole time. I remember clearly the expression of pain reflected in her eyes when I told her that. I even remember clearly when she couldn't hold it any longer and felt in tears in my arms.
Another thing that was like putting a knife on my chest and twisting it, was to tell my family about that new. The expression on my mom's face when I told her that was like she was about to die, but she tried to look strong and she told me she was really happy about me. The thing that really broke my heart was my little brothers. I remember the last time they cried this much was when our dad left us and I couldn't help feeling a little bit like him when I did that. I remember that they held tight on me and told me that they would never let me walk out of that door. I never felt so guilty in my whole entire life.
Every single night of that week I could hear my mom crying in her room and begging that the world outside those walls could treat me kindly, just the way she had been doing ever since she first held me in her arms. And my brothers, they didn't sleep one night only. Every single night after I told them I was leaving, they went to my room to ask me if they could stay because they couldn't sleep and they wanted me to read them a story or sing a lullaby or do both. They also started talking in their sleep ever since that. They couldn't stop crying and repeating "Pierre, don't go. We love you." And that was making me breakdown in tears during hours of my night before sleeping.
During the day, they stopped eating properly, they stopped playing with their friends outside, they stopped singing along with their favorite's cartoon theme song and they even stopped laughing at the cartoon. Sometimes they didn't even watch it. All they were trying to do was to get a band together so they could go with us to the studio and to the tour. I mean, they weren't trying to get a band together, they were the band.
The band was named Don't Let Simple Plan Go To Toronto and they used to hit the spoons in the dishes and sing both of them together. Their lyrics were pretty simple. Something easy to catch, pretty much of like this: "Simple Plan can't go/ Because we don't want them to/ Simple Plan can't go/ Because they just can't/ Simple Plan can't go/ Because we said so." And them you repeat it over and over again around one hundred times or until you don't feel like singing anymore.
It was tearing my heart apart to hear that. I mean, it was a funny song and it was funny to see them doing it but, if you hear it close enough and with all of your heart, you can see how bad they are suffering. Suffering not only about me but about my friends too. They are not only saying they don't want me to go, they are saying they don't want Simple Plan to go. That was making me feel the worst guy in the world.
Well, that painful week went by and Monday came. I was supposed to meet the guys in the airport at 7 a.m. and we would be leaving at 7:30 a.m., so I woke up at 4 a.m. to take my bath, get dressed, have my breakfast and start to pack up my bags to leave home at 6 a.m. Each minute that went by was remembering me that I was getting closer and closer of starting a new life and leave most of the people I care about behind. It was causing me so much pain that I considered many times calling Lava and canceling the contract, but every time I took the phone in my hands I started imagining how the guys would feel like and I just gave up. After all, we're a band. We decided together to sign it and, if we were supposed to cancel it, we would have to do it together too.
When I first put my bags over my bed and opened one of the drawers of the chest, I started feeling bad again. Just like the way I felt when I left New York. The feeling was the same, Montreal was my home. Once again, I was leaving home, some of my friends, my girlfriend and everything that was left of my family. I would only have Simple plan from now on. All of my days in Montreal started running through my mind and I didn't feel able to take at least one of my clothes out of my drawer. I just sat down on my bed and started crying hard with my face buried in my hands.
Not long time after that, I heard the bell of the door ringing and rushed downstairs to open it, after drying my tears. When I opened it, I saw the figure of Jessie with her eyes red and filled in with tears and she dropped herself in my arms as fast as she could with her head buried on my chest before I was able to ask anything. I hugged her tight and closed the door with my left foot. After that, I kissed her forehead and rested my chin over it, hugging her as tight and tenderly as I could, not ever wanting to let her go. In a few, I decided I should try to cheer her up, as long as I knew what was the problem and I didn't want her to have to face it once again by telling me herself. I approached her ear and started singing to her "I'd do anything". I can say it caught her by surprise, as long as she looked back at me smiling and I raised my hands to her face to dry her tears.
"I don't ever wanna see you crying again, okay, future Mrs. Bouvier?" I asked looking deep down in her eyes
"Future Mrs. Bouvier?" she asked me smiling
"Just wait a few years and you'll be her, you can be sure about that." I said smiling back at her "Jessie, it tears my heart apart to see you crying. I love you."
"I love you too. A lot." She replied caressing my face and soon approached my lips to kiss me "So, you're really going?"
"Yeah, I'm...I'm really going. It hurts me too, but..." I started replying as she interrupted me with...
"If it hurts you too, why the hell do you have to go? Why?" she shouted more in pain than in rage
"It's my dream, Jessie. You just have to understand it."
"I...I do." She said trying to convince herself about it "Anyway may I please help you out to pack up your bags?"
"Sure. Come with me. I was just starting it." I answered holding her hand and taking her to my room
I could feel her hands were cold and trembling bad and the expression of pain in her face was telling me that she was about to have a breakdown. I couldn't help feeling guilty again. I was getting everyone around me hurt. I was getting even myself hurt and I started wondering if it was all worth. I never in my life had so much doubts if Simple Plan was really what I wanted and if it really was that important. If my mom, Jessie and my brothers really deserved to go through all of that pain just because of a band.
In either way, I didn't step back on my decision. We got in my bedroom and started working separated on packing up my stuffs, not trading one word ever since we got there. Every time I looked back at her, I could see she was fighting against tears and I think she really believed she made me think she was feeling better. Every time she took one of my clothes out of the chest of drawers, she folded it really tenderly and even looked for my perfume smell hugging them really tight against her body and finally placing it tenderly on one of my bags. Then, every time she looked back to the chest to see it getting emptier or at her watch to see that 6 a.m. were getting closer, her eyes got back on watering. That scene was repeating over and over again and it felt so bad that all that I wanted was to get back on time and never accept to be their lead singer, but I just couldn't. In a few minutes I would leave that place and that was decided.
It was 5:55 a.m. and Jessie was holding in her hands my very last T-shirt. I closed the very last drawer just to turn myself around and see her holding tight on my T-shirt and trembling while crying as hard as I've never seen her doing before. Soon, she felt on the knees like she wasn't feeling strong enough to keep herself up anymore. Completely worried, I kneeled down by her side and held her tight against me. Then, I kissed her forehead and felt in my lips she was having a high fever. Again, it was all my fault.
"Hey, beautiful, I don't worth all that. Believe me, I'm not that good." I said calmly trying to make her relax a bit
"Yes, you are. You're perfect for me and I ...I don't want to lose you." She shouted desperate
"You're not loosing me. We're not breaking up. We'll see each other every weekend and I'll phone you every single day. Asides, in six months the recording process will be over and we'll start our very first tour and you'll be coming with us, remember? We'll be together everyday."
"I can't stand seeing you just twice in a week and hear your voice on the phone only. I need you right here."
"Sorry, Jessie, I never meant to hurt you. I'll miss you a lot too, I love you a lot, you know? But we'll have to be strong. This is my dream and you know how much me and the guys struggled for that. I'm not leaving you. I'm never going to do that, I just...have to follow my dreams. I need it."
"I know all that, Pierre. I'm sorry. I can see your point, you deserve that. Just...just promise me you're coming back to me as soon as you have this album recorded. Promise me you won't trade me by a hot blond chick with big breast and butt."
"I won't, and you know why? Because I have a hot black haired chick with big breast and butt who loves me as much as I love her and I don't want to lose her or even to hurt her anyway."
I finished my sentence making her laugh about that comment and started running my fingers through her hair and pulled her closer to start a kiss but, during the kiss, we heard someone knocking my door...
"Pierre, the taxi is here." I heard my mom shouting.
"I'm going!" I replied breaking the kiss, making Jessie go apart from me and stand up, as I ended up doing the same
"Oh, and, here, your T-shirt" she said handing me over the T-shirt she had been holding
"Don't give it back to me. Just keep it for you to remember me. Hold it tight against your chest every time you miss me, close your eyes pretty tight and try to pretend I'm right there in your arms." I replied gently pushing the T-shirt back in her arms
"Thanks, this is going to be like a little treasure to me. Oh, and you can have this." She said handing me over the bracelet that was in her wrist "This is for you to remember me."
"Thanks, I'll keep it forever and ever." I thanked approaching her for a kiss again but, this time, a longer kiss
After that, I kept her bracelet in my pocket and took my bags in my hands. Then, I started heading downstairs hand in hand with her to meet my family crying in the living room. My mom soon approached me and hugged me really tight, crying like a child. Different from Jessie, my mom and my brothers couldn't leave on tour with me `cause my brothers were studying and my mom had to take care of them so, to go apart from them was the hardest to do.
"I hope you can be as happy as I always wanted you to be." My mom started saying in between tears "It's hard to see you leaving home `cause you'll always be my baby, but I just ask you to take a really good care of yourself and call us any moment of the day or of the night just to tell us how you're doing. I hope Simple Plan becomes everything you always wanted it to be but, if it doesn't, you know those doors will always be open to you."
"I know and I won't forget you guys." I replied her
"Pierre!!!" I heard my brothers shouting in unison as I kneeled in front of them
"Hey little buddies! What's up?"
"We made you this drawing. This is the way back home from the bakery to here. That's the further place we know." One of them started replying
"We know you'll spend a long, long time away from home and we don't want you to forget the way back home, so we made you this map." The other one completed
"Oh, thanks! This is really going to be helpful!" I said taking the drawing and hugging them tight "You'll be the men of the house from now on so I want you to be really nice with mom and take care of her and Jessie in my place. Will you do that for me?" I asked as they nodded "Great! I knew I could cont on you!"
I finished kissing their foreheads and going outside as they followed me from close until I got in the taxi.
"Bye you guys. I love you very much." I said back at them
"Bye, Pierre. We love you too." They replied in unison
As the taxi started leaving and I started facing them from distance, I finally allowed myself to cry. Next time I get inside this house, I won't be living there anymore; I'll be just a guest.
Another thing that was like putting a knife on my chest and twisting it, was to tell my family about that new. The expression on my mom's face when I told her that was like she was about to die, but she tried to look strong and she told me she was really happy about me. The thing that really broke my heart was my little brothers. I remember the last time they cried this much was when our dad left us and I couldn't help feeling a little bit like him when I did that. I remember that they held tight on me and told me that they would never let me walk out of that door. I never felt so guilty in my whole entire life.
Every single night of that week I could hear my mom crying in her room and begging that the world outside those walls could treat me kindly, just the way she had been doing ever since she first held me in her arms. And my brothers, they didn't sleep one night only. Every single night after I told them I was leaving, they went to my room to ask me if they could stay because they couldn't sleep and they wanted me to read them a story or sing a lullaby or do both. They also started talking in their sleep ever since that. They couldn't stop crying and repeating "Pierre, don't go. We love you." And that was making me breakdown in tears during hours of my night before sleeping.
During the day, they stopped eating properly, they stopped playing with their friends outside, they stopped singing along with their favorite's cartoon theme song and they even stopped laughing at the cartoon. Sometimes they didn't even watch it. All they were trying to do was to get a band together so they could go with us to the studio and to the tour. I mean, they weren't trying to get a band together, they were the band.
The band was named Don't Let Simple Plan Go To Toronto and they used to hit the spoons in the dishes and sing both of them together. Their lyrics were pretty simple. Something easy to catch, pretty much of like this: "Simple Plan can't go/ Because we don't want them to/ Simple Plan can't go/ Because they just can't/ Simple Plan can't go/ Because we said so." And them you repeat it over and over again around one hundred times or until you don't feel like singing anymore.
It was tearing my heart apart to hear that. I mean, it was a funny song and it was funny to see them doing it but, if you hear it close enough and with all of your heart, you can see how bad they are suffering. Suffering not only about me but about my friends too. They are not only saying they don't want me to go, they are saying they don't want Simple Plan to go. That was making me feel the worst guy in the world.
Well, that painful week went by and Monday came. I was supposed to meet the guys in the airport at 7 a.m. and we would be leaving at 7:30 a.m., so I woke up at 4 a.m. to take my bath, get dressed, have my breakfast and start to pack up my bags to leave home at 6 a.m. Each minute that went by was remembering me that I was getting closer and closer of starting a new life and leave most of the people I care about behind. It was causing me so much pain that I considered many times calling Lava and canceling the contract, but every time I took the phone in my hands I started imagining how the guys would feel like and I just gave up. After all, we're a band. We decided together to sign it and, if we were supposed to cancel it, we would have to do it together too.
When I first put my bags over my bed and opened one of the drawers of the chest, I started feeling bad again. Just like the way I felt when I left New York. The feeling was the same, Montreal was my home. Once again, I was leaving home, some of my friends, my girlfriend and everything that was left of my family. I would only have Simple plan from now on. All of my days in Montreal started running through my mind and I didn't feel able to take at least one of my clothes out of my drawer. I just sat down on my bed and started crying hard with my face buried in my hands.
Not long time after that, I heard the bell of the door ringing and rushed downstairs to open it, after drying my tears. When I opened it, I saw the figure of Jessie with her eyes red and filled in with tears and she dropped herself in my arms as fast as she could with her head buried on my chest before I was able to ask anything. I hugged her tight and closed the door with my left foot. After that, I kissed her forehead and rested my chin over it, hugging her as tight and tenderly as I could, not ever wanting to let her go. In a few, I decided I should try to cheer her up, as long as I knew what was the problem and I didn't want her to have to face it once again by telling me herself. I approached her ear and started singing to her "I'd do anything". I can say it caught her by surprise, as long as she looked back at me smiling and I raised my hands to her face to dry her tears.
"I don't ever wanna see you crying again, okay, future Mrs. Bouvier?" I asked looking deep down in her eyes
"Future Mrs. Bouvier?" she asked me smiling
"Just wait a few years and you'll be her, you can be sure about that." I said smiling back at her "Jessie, it tears my heart apart to see you crying. I love you."
"I love you too. A lot." She replied caressing my face and soon approached my lips to kiss me "So, you're really going?"
"Yeah, I'm...I'm really going. It hurts me too, but..." I started replying as she interrupted me with...
"If it hurts you too, why the hell do you have to go? Why?" she shouted more in pain than in rage
"It's my dream, Jessie. You just have to understand it."
"I...I do." She said trying to convince herself about it "Anyway may I please help you out to pack up your bags?"
"Sure. Come with me. I was just starting it." I answered holding her hand and taking her to my room
I could feel her hands were cold and trembling bad and the expression of pain in her face was telling me that she was about to have a breakdown. I couldn't help feeling guilty again. I was getting everyone around me hurt. I was getting even myself hurt and I started wondering if it was all worth. I never in my life had so much doubts if Simple Plan was really what I wanted and if it really was that important. If my mom, Jessie and my brothers really deserved to go through all of that pain just because of a band.
In either way, I didn't step back on my decision. We got in my bedroom and started working separated on packing up my stuffs, not trading one word ever since we got there. Every time I looked back at her, I could see she was fighting against tears and I think she really believed she made me think she was feeling better. Every time she took one of my clothes out of the chest of drawers, she folded it really tenderly and even looked for my perfume smell hugging them really tight against her body and finally placing it tenderly on one of my bags. Then, every time she looked back to the chest to see it getting emptier or at her watch to see that 6 a.m. were getting closer, her eyes got back on watering. That scene was repeating over and over again and it felt so bad that all that I wanted was to get back on time and never accept to be their lead singer, but I just couldn't. In a few minutes I would leave that place and that was decided.
It was 5:55 a.m. and Jessie was holding in her hands my very last T-shirt. I closed the very last drawer just to turn myself around and see her holding tight on my T-shirt and trembling while crying as hard as I've never seen her doing before. Soon, she felt on the knees like she wasn't feeling strong enough to keep herself up anymore. Completely worried, I kneeled down by her side and held her tight against me. Then, I kissed her forehead and felt in my lips she was having a high fever. Again, it was all my fault.
"Hey, beautiful, I don't worth all that. Believe me, I'm not that good." I said calmly trying to make her relax a bit
"Yes, you are. You're perfect for me and I ...I don't want to lose you." She shouted desperate
"You're not loosing me. We're not breaking up. We'll see each other every weekend and I'll phone you every single day. Asides, in six months the recording process will be over and we'll start our very first tour and you'll be coming with us, remember? We'll be together everyday."
"I can't stand seeing you just twice in a week and hear your voice on the phone only. I need you right here."
"Sorry, Jessie, I never meant to hurt you. I'll miss you a lot too, I love you a lot, you know? But we'll have to be strong. This is my dream and you know how much me and the guys struggled for that. I'm not leaving you. I'm never going to do that, I just...have to follow my dreams. I need it."
"I know all that, Pierre. I'm sorry. I can see your point, you deserve that. Just...just promise me you're coming back to me as soon as you have this album recorded. Promise me you won't trade me by a hot blond chick with big breast and butt."
"I won't, and you know why? Because I have a hot black haired chick with big breast and butt who loves me as much as I love her and I don't want to lose her or even to hurt her anyway."
I finished my sentence making her laugh about that comment and started running my fingers through her hair and pulled her closer to start a kiss but, during the kiss, we heard someone knocking my door...
"Pierre, the taxi is here." I heard my mom shouting.
"I'm going!" I replied breaking the kiss, making Jessie go apart from me and stand up, as I ended up doing the same
"Oh, and, here, your T-shirt" she said handing me over the T-shirt she had been holding
"Don't give it back to me. Just keep it for you to remember me. Hold it tight against your chest every time you miss me, close your eyes pretty tight and try to pretend I'm right there in your arms." I replied gently pushing the T-shirt back in her arms
"Thanks, this is going to be like a little treasure to me. Oh, and you can have this." She said handing me over the bracelet that was in her wrist "This is for you to remember me."
"Thanks, I'll keep it forever and ever." I thanked approaching her for a kiss again but, this time, a longer kiss
After that, I kept her bracelet in my pocket and took my bags in my hands. Then, I started heading downstairs hand in hand with her to meet my family crying in the living room. My mom soon approached me and hugged me really tight, crying like a child. Different from Jessie, my mom and my brothers couldn't leave on tour with me `cause my brothers were studying and my mom had to take care of them so, to go apart from them was the hardest to do.
"I hope you can be as happy as I always wanted you to be." My mom started saying in between tears "It's hard to see you leaving home `cause you'll always be my baby, but I just ask you to take a really good care of yourself and call us any moment of the day or of the night just to tell us how you're doing. I hope Simple Plan becomes everything you always wanted it to be but, if it doesn't, you know those doors will always be open to you."
"I know and I won't forget you guys." I replied her
"Pierre!!!" I heard my brothers shouting in unison as I kneeled in front of them
"Hey little buddies! What's up?"
"We made you this drawing. This is the way back home from the bakery to here. That's the further place we know." One of them started replying
"We know you'll spend a long, long time away from home and we don't want you to forget the way back home, so we made you this map." The other one completed
"Oh, thanks! This is really going to be helpful!" I said taking the drawing and hugging them tight "You'll be the men of the house from now on so I want you to be really nice with mom and take care of her and Jessie in my place. Will you do that for me?" I asked as they nodded "Great! I knew I could cont on you!"
I finished kissing their foreheads and going outside as they followed me from close until I got in the taxi.
"Bye you guys. I love you very much." I said back at them
"Bye, Pierre. We love you too." They replied in unison
As the taxi started leaving and I started facing them from distance, I finally allowed myself to cry. Next time I get inside this house, I won't be living there anymore; I'll be just a guest.
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