FicWad

*Subterranean Homesick Blues*

Alex lay face down on the futon - all Taiji could see was a long, thin shape under the quilts and a drift of hair the color of a toy tiger he'd once had. He wondered how sick Alex really was - when he'd slid into bed with him the night before, he'd felt almost too hot to touch, like metal in the sun, and his eyes had been weird and shiny. If anything, he was even hotter now.

Tai touched Alex's shoulder. "Hey, I brought you some tea - you should probably drink something - " whenever Tai was sick, his father always made him drink a lot - tea, water, juice, whatever he wanted. /You'll be OK, Tai - just let it run its course. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, ne? Get some sleep.../He kind of wished his father was here, but his father was mad at him, probably REALLY mad by now - it had been almost a month since he'd run with Alex, and it wasn't like he was calling home every week-end...he sighed, pulled open the little tab on the can of green tea he'd gotten from a vending machine at the train station and put it down by Alex.

The other boy turned his head at the sound of the can scraping on the cement floor.

"No - I told you before- no," he said, looking at Tai with pale, empty eyes. It made Tai feel strange to see him like that, as if what made Alex himself had gone somewhere else for a while.

"Yeah, OK - but..." Tai stopped; Alex wasn't listening. His eyes had closed again, and his breathing sounded thin and ragged in the huge quiet of the warehouse. Tai reached out and pushed the long, tangled hair away from Alex's face, then shifted himself until he could lean against the wall, arms wrapped around his knees, feeling tired and stupid. If there was anything else he could do, he didn't know what it was.

The guy by the bridge had a big cardboard box, and Tai could hear some kind of animal moving inside it, claws scraping against the sides. When he opened it, it was a puppy, a black one with white on its face and a tail that curled up over its back.

"It's gonna get big when it grows up," the guy said. "You sure your dad will let you keep it? Because if he doesn't, you're gonna to have to throw it in the river." The puppy ran itself around in circles inside the box, licking out a pink tongue, paws scrabbling and scratching...

Tai woke up with a shiver in the cold half-dark. The dream had stopped but the scratching noise went on, threaded through with a frayed whisper.

"I can't make it light..."

"Alex?"

The redhaired boy was standing pressed to the wall; the sound that had wakened Tai was his fingernails on the security mesh that covered the window just above his head.

"You can't make what light? Maybe you should get back in bed..." Tai found matches and the candle they used at night, and the small flicker painted shadows under the bones of Alex's face as he turned.

"The sun - when I was little, I used to play this game - I could make anything else burn, so I'd pretend I could light the sun - I'd tell it to burn, and it would, and it would be - the biggest fire...I still....do it sometimes ..." He started to shiver . "There's something wrong with me, Kudou..."

Tai went over to him and put out a hand. "Yeah...you've got a fever or something - come on, lie down. You don't have to do anything; day's going to come anyway..." Then Alex was in his arms and it was like holding something made of a different element; something without bones or substance that wrapped itself around him...

"You want me to lie down for you, Kudou? You want to fuck me like this?" The smoke-blue eyes glittered like pieces of broken mirror. "You want to know what it's like to be inside this heat...all the time...it's...so bad..."

Then, whatever had been keeping Alex on his feet left him again; the arms around Tai's neck slackened and the narrow body slid down along his, Alex's cheek scraping Tai's belt-buckle. Tai managed to grab a handful of his t-shirt and drag him up, light and loose as a bundle of straw.

"Shit, Alex...." He was gone; Tai could barely feel him breathing. Shit.... He lowered himself to the floor, holding Alex against him, trying not to go completely stupid with fear - he could already feel himself getting numb, bits of his mind blanking out. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

/Hospital.../but if he took the firestarter to the emergency room, he'd have to give his name, or tell the doctors what Alex was, and then whoever he was hiding from would come... what if they took him away? /No/. Not to have that body moving under his, not to feel that warm mouth on his skin or hear the way Alex said his name - /You're mine, Kudou/...the imagined loss hurt so much that Tai couldn't even begin to think what the real thing would be like.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, ne?


Yohji Kudou got home a little before dawn. What had looked like a night of overpriced drinks, wasted time, and false leads had turned out better than expected - there'd been no sign of Taiji, but he'd found a bartender in Harajuku who'd seen the redheaded kid working his club a couple of times and, for a bribe considerably over and above what Yohji was usually prepared to offer, had agreed to call him next time the kid came in. Yohji had paid up - it would be worth it if he could take care of this without having to go to Schwarz. Not that it looked like they'd had any luck chasing down their little runaway experiment, either...Schwarzspawn - how creepy was that idea?

The elevator opened and he stepped out into the shadowy hallway. Leaning up against the door of his apartment was what looked like two big bundles of dirty laundry; then one of the bundles moved slightly and stuck out a long leg - Yohji recognized the battered English boots his son had pestered him for last New Year and stood for a moment, trying to make himself believe what he was seeing. Taiji? And sprawled across his boy's lap was another one, face hidden by a tangle of orange-red hair. Gods - what had Tai done this time?

Then he was on his knees by the two huddled figures; Tai was only very deeply asleep, but the other one - he took his son gently by the chin. "Tachan..." He was thinner, grimy - and when had he started looking so much like his mother?

Hearing his name, the boy started awake and stared into his father's face, eyes wide ad sleep-clouded. "Dad? I lost my key...sorry..." His arms tightened around the limp redhaired boy. "I had to bring him - I didn't know what else to do...don't make me..."

With a sigh, Yohji picked up Schuldig's brat, draping him over one shoulder, then stood and pulled Taiji to his feet. "Yeah, yeah. He followed you home and can you keep him...you'll have to unlock the door for me." The kid looked like his legs could hardly hold him up. "Go on, go inside. We'll figure something out, but let's not do it standing here in the hall. It'll be OK, Tai."

Just let it run its course...