FicWad

Confusion

I wanted to give you up,
I really did.
I don't even know why
I keep hurting myself
by chasing you.

Whenever we're together,
the right words never come out.
Whenever I try to know your heart,
I feel the distance between us.
Why do I even think of you?
Why do I still care?
I know you'll probably be happy...
even if I'm not there.

I have no experience
with matters of the heart.
I have no way of winning you,
no tricks in this game.
I don't even know if I'm worthy,
though I've always tried...
to keep within reach of you.

I wish that reality is different.
I wish that you're really mine.
But I'd rather know how you felt,
than live in ignorance and fantasy.
I do not regret knowing.
But why can't I get closure?
Am I selfish to still keep on trying?

It's easy to say I've let you go.
It's easy to pretend it's true.
But when I close my eyes and dream...
the girl I dream of is you.
Am I just stupid?
Am I just naive?
To keep on wishing one day that
this dream will be reality?

I wish the words would not be hard.
I wish I had the words to win your heart.
I wish to hear the words that
will convince me to finally stop...
or finally make me happy.