Categories > Original > Humor > Deep Space
Devil's Haircut
Mark and Aki moved their belong to the door of dorm 213 of Dark Moon House. It was like walking into a funeral home. There was strong doubt that anyone had been here for ages. The "couple" stared at the door in frozen silence. Mark turned to Aki. "Do you want to go in first?" he asked. Aki turned back to him. "Do you?" she replied. "You've got the key!" Mark pointed out. "Oh, so send the Asian chick to get killed or something!" his "girlfriend" shot back. "What are you talking about?" Mark asked in confusion. "Nobody's been here for ages!" "Yeah but, there maybe ghosts in there!" Aki shot back. Mark couldn't help but laugh to himself. Aki caught him on the first chuckle. She instantly became annoyed. "What the hell is so damn funny Mark?!?" his "girlfriend" snapped. Mark stopped laughing and turned to her. "There are no such things, girl!" he said boldly. That only rose Aki's anger even more. "Yes, there is!" she argued back. "Prove it!" Mark challenged. Aki tightened her hand around the dorm key. "Already!" she called. "I will!" Mark gracefully stepped aside as Aki marched up to the door. "No such things as ghosts, huh?" she snorted. "I'll show you!" Mark just stood there with a smile on his face as Aki unlocked the door. She pushed it open wildly.
A massive dust storm greeted them. The "couple" hacked and coughed as they fought it off. Once the dust settled, they looked up. Mark felt around for the light switch. He felt something sticky and tried to combat it off of his hand. Once he was free, Mark found the light switch and turned it on. Grim disappointment came across Aki's face. "You have got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed. The dorm was a nightmare. Cob webs were everything! The whole place was barren. Mark wanted to laugh but the disappointment was overbearing at the moment. He slightly turned to his "girlfriend." "See?" he spoke up. "There are no ghosts here." That didn't help at all. Aki crowded behind Mark in terror. She clinched onto him for dear life. Mark was confused. "Now what's wrong?" he asked. "I proved that there were no ghosts at all." "There might be spiders!" Aki cried out. "They're even worse than ghosts!!! And we have to clean up this dorm too!!! Protect me!!!" Sweat drop on Mark's head "And I agreed to bunk up with this nut bag?" he thought in annoyance/distress. He sighed in the same tone of his thoughts.
As it turns out, cleaning wasn't as bad as they expected. In fact, the "couple" was done in a snap! With that out of the way, they now had to set up their belongings. Mark found some of the living room furniture in the closet. "Who puts a couch in the closet?" Aki asked in confusion. "Maybe they didn't want it stolen." Mark replied. Both paused for a moment. "Whatever." Aki said. They she went back to unpacking.
When nightfall came, the "couple" decided to call it a day. Mark and Aki sat on the oak and glass coffee table. They took one good look around the dorm living room. "We still have to arrange and unpack the rest of the stuff." Mark pointed out. Aki leaned against him. "Aw, do we have to?" she whined. "Can't we wait until tomorrow?" Mark laughed softly to himself. "Anything you like." he replied. "Thanks." Aki murmured. Mark just smiled to himself.
The "couple" was about to go to sleep when they heard a low groan. Mark quickly jerked awake and looked around. Then was nothing at first, then the groan came again. At first, Mark thought it was his "girlfriend." He lightly shook her awake. "Mmm... what?" Aki asked. "Did you hear something?" Mark asked. His "girlfriend" stared at him as he was crazy. "Hear what?" she asked. Then, the low groan came again. Both paused fast. "What is that?" Aki asked. "Dunno." Mark replied. Both listened closely to find the sound. It came again. The "couple" found out where the sound was coming from. "It's out the door." Mark said. They nodded to each other and quietly crept out of the coffee table and across the floor to the door. Aki grabbed a vase for extra measures. Mark slowly unlocked the door and pushed it open. Aki gasped in shock as she looked down. A man was lying on the hall floor on his back. He was thin and looked passed out drunk. His clothes were a mess. The smell of harsh on him was unbearable. Aki covered her nose in displeasure. Mark stared at the man in confusion/disgust. "Is he... dead?" Aki asked. Her "boyfriend" lightly kicked at the man. The guy groaned again. Aki stepped back startled. "Does that answer your question?" Mark asked. Aki kept staring at the guy. "Well, let's bring him in!" she said at last. Mark stared at her as if she was crazy. "Why?" he asked. Aki looked at him as if he was crazy. "We can't leave him out here, now can we?" she asked. Mark rolled his eyes and groaned as he picked up the guy and dragged him inside the dorm.
A few minutes later, the man was awake and conscious. Aki was serving both men green tea. "Sorry about that," their guest was saying. "I was drunk earlier and I passed out in front of your door." Mark could tell that the man was Scottish. The man looked closely at his hosts. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen any of you around here before." he said. Aki came in from the kitchen with more tea. "We just transferred here weeks ago." she answered. "I'm Kimoto Aki and this is my boyfriend, Mark Renton." The man smiled like a Cheshire cat. "My name is Danny Murphy!" he replied. "But you can call me Spud." Aki sat down with the men at the table. "So how long have you two been together?" Spud asked. "Two years, nine months, and seventeen days!" Aki and Mark called in unison. Silence passed slowly. Spud sat still for a few seconds. The "couple" became nervous. "Please buy it!!!" they desperately thought. At long last, Spud smiled like a Cheshire cat. "Great for you!" he called in bliss. The "couple" relaxed. "Thank goodness he bought it!" Mark and Aki thought at the same time.
For the rest of the night, the trio talked and drank tea. "He's got to go." Mark whispered to his "girlfriend." "But how?" Aki whispered. "Don't know." he whispered. Finally, Spud rose to his feet. "Well, I should be going." he said at last. "Night." Then he rose to his feet and staggered to the door. Then he paused for a moment and said, "Oh, my dorm is 217. Come by and visit me sometime." "Okay." the "couple" said. Then, Spud stumbled out the door. Mark and Aki sat beside each other in silence. "We are not taking anymore visitors past ten!" Mark declared at last. "Right." his "girlfriend" agreed as she nodded.
Next Day
Mark and Aki moved their belong to the door of dorm 213 of Dark Moon House. It was like walking into a funeral home. There was strong doubt that anyone had been here for ages. The "couple" stared at the door in frozen silence. Mark turned to Aki. "Do you want to go in first?" he asked. Aki turned back to him. "Do you?" she replied. "You've got the key!" Mark pointed out. "Oh, so send the Asian chick to get killed or something!" his "girlfriend" shot back. "What are you talking about?" Mark asked in confusion. "Nobody's been here for ages!" "Yeah but, there maybe ghosts in there!" Aki shot back. Mark couldn't help but laugh to himself. Aki caught him on the first chuckle. She instantly became annoyed. "What the hell is so damn funny Mark?!?" his "girlfriend" snapped. Mark stopped laughing and turned to her. "There are no such things, girl!" he said boldly. That only rose Aki's anger even more. "Yes, there is!" she argued back. "Prove it!" Mark challenged. Aki tightened her hand around the dorm key. "Already!" she called. "I will!" Mark gracefully stepped aside as Aki marched up to the door. "No such things as ghosts, huh?" she snorted. "I'll show you!" Mark just stood there with a smile on his face as Aki unlocked the door. She pushed it open wildly.
A massive dust storm greeted them. The "couple" hacked and coughed as they fought it off. Once the dust settled, they looked up. Mark felt around for the light switch. He felt something sticky and tried to combat it off of his hand. Once he was free, Mark found the light switch and turned it on. Grim disappointment came across Aki's face. "You have got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed. The dorm was a nightmare. Cob webs were everything! The whole place was barren. Mark wanted to laugh but the disappointment was overbearing at the moment. He slightly turned to his "girlfriend." "See?" he spoke up. "There are no ghosts here." That didn't help at all. Aki crowded behind Mark in terror. She clinched onto him for dear life. Mark was confused. "Now what's wrong?" he asked. "I proved that there were no ghosts at all." "There might be spiders!" Aki cried out. "They're even worse than ghosts!!! And we have to clean up this dorm too!!! Protect me!!!" Sweat drop on Mark's head "And I agreed to bunk up with this nut bag?" he thought in annoyance/distress. He sighed in the same tone of his thoughts.
As it turns out, cleaning wasn't as bad as they expected. In fact, the "couple" was done in a snap! With that out of the way, they now had to set up their belongings. Mark found some of the living room furniture in the closet. "Who puts a couch in the closet?" Aki asked in confusion. "Maybe they didn't want it stolen." Mark replied. Both paused for a moment. "Whatever." Aki said. They she went back to unpacking.
When nightfall came, the "couple" decided to call it a day. Mark and Aki sat on the oak and glass coffee table. They took one good look around the dorm living room. "We still have to arrange and unpack the rest of the stuff." Mark pointed out. Aki leaned against him. "Aw, do we have to?" she whined. "Can't we wait until tomorrow?" Mark laughed softly to himself. "Anything you like." he replied. "Thanks." Aki murmured. Mark just smiled to himself.
The "couple" was about to go to sleep when they heard a low groan. Mark quickly jerked awake and looked around. Then was nothing at first, then the groan came again. At first, Mark thought it was his "girlfriend." He lightly shook her awake. "Mmm... what?" Aki asked. "Did you hear something?" Mark asked. His "girlfriend" stared at him as he was crazy. "Hear what?" she asked. Then, the low groan came again. Both paused fast. "What is that?" Aki asked. "Dunno." Mark replied. Both listened closely to find the sound. It came again. The "couple" found out where the sound was coming from. "It's out the door." Mark said. They nodded to each other and quietly crept out of the coffee table and across the floor to the door. Aki grabbed a vase for extra measures. Mark slowly unlocked the door and pushed it open. Aki gasped in shock as she looked down. A man was lying on the hall floor on his back. He was thin and looked passed out drunk. His clothes were a mess. The smell of harsh on him was unbearable. Aki covered her nose in displeasure. Mark stared at the man in confusion/disgust. "Is he... dead?" Aki asked. Her "boyfriend" lightly kicked at the man. The guy groaned again. Aki stepped back startled. "Does that answer your question?" Mark asked. Aki kept staring at the guy. "Well, let's bring him in!" she said at last. Mark stared at her as if she was crazy. "Why?" he asked. Aki looked at him as if he was crazy. "We can't leave him out here, now can we?" she asked. Mark rolled his eyes and groaned as he picked up the guy and dragged him inside the dorm.
A few minutes later, the man was awake and conscious. Aki was serving both men green tea. "Sorry about that," their guest was saying. "I was drunk earlier and I passed out in front of your door." Mark could tell that the man was Scottish. The man looked closely at his hosts. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen any of you around here before." he said. Aki came in from the kitchen with more tea. "We just transferred here weeks ago." she answered. "I'm Kimoto Aki and this is my boyfriend, Mark Renton." The man smiled like a Cheshire cat. "My name is Danny Murphy!" he replied. "But you can call me Spud." Aki sat down with the men at the table. "So how long have you two been together?" Spud asked. "Two years, nine months, and seventeen days!" Aki and Mark called in unison. Silence passed slowly. Spud sat still for a few seconds. The "couple" became nervous. "Please buy it!!!" they desperately thought. At long last, Spud smiled like a Cheshire cat. "Great for you!" he called in bliss. The "couple" relaxed. "Thank goodness he bought it!" Mark and Aki thought at the same time.
For the rest of the night, the trio talked and drank tea. "He's got to go." Mark whispered to his "girlfriend." "But how?" Aki whispered. "Don't know." he whispered. Finally, Spud rose to his feet. "Well, I should be going." he said at last. "Night." Then he rose to his feet and staggered to the door. Then he paused for a moment and said, "Oh, my dorm is 217. Come by and visit me sometime." "Okay." the "couple" said. Then, Spud stumbled out the door. Mark and Aki sat beside each other in silence. "We are not taking anymore visitors past ten!" Mark declared at last. "Right." his "girlfriend" agreed as she nodded.
Next Day
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