FicWad

"Jessie!!!" I yelled leaving the room and putting my T-shirt back on "Jessie!" I repeated when I finally held her arm "Jessie, please, you gotta listen to me."
"Let me go! You're hurting me!" She shouted trying to set herself free from me
"Jessie, please, I'm not asking too much, you just gotta listen to me. I can explain!"
"My name is not Jessie and I don't ever want you calling me like this again! I'm Jessica. And I don't want to listen to any of your bullshit anymore! You told me once I shouldn't believe you were cheating on me before seeing you making out with a naked girl. Now that I did, would you please let me go?!"
"But, Jessie...I mean, Jessica, please, let me explain. I don't wanna loose you like this! Please!"
"I don't need to hear anymore lies and promises `cause I won't ever believe them again. You told me many times you weren't cheating on me and that you would never do that. You even said that you felt hurt every time I asked you that `cause you never did anything else but love me. And you know what? I believed all that. I not only believed, but I felt bad about asking you such thing `cause I thought I knew you and I thought that you would never be able to do something that would hurt me somehow, but all the while you were fucking her. You had never been the guy I thought you were." She yelled stopping for a few to try to control the tears that were falling down her face and soon proceeded "I thought we were going to be together forever, you know? For one minute I thought we were going to get married someday. But I was so fucking wrong! Why did you have to lie and to screw up with five years of my life in 5 minutes?"
"I never intended to do that. You just need to stop for a while and let me explain that I..."
"No, Pierre, I don't wanna hear it! I don't!" she yelled pushing me away and throwing over me the ring I had given her a few years ago. After that, she just kept running away.
"Jessica!!!" I yelled running after her again

When we got outside that place, I could see it was raining bad and, before I was able to reach her and make her stop, she took her car and started driving away. Worried and not wanting to let her go under such a terrible rain, I started my car and drove as fast as I never did before after her. As soon as she saw me, she started driving even faster and I did the same, trying to reach her somehow and getting both of us in danger.

After breaking every single traffic code and almost dying in every single street, I decided it was already time to try for real to make her stop that car before she could get in a car accident. I wasn't worried about myself at all, I just had to make sure she was going to be okay. She had to make it through it all alive, even if she wanted to break up with me after that. I would rather live the rest of my life without her than knowing she was dead. To do so, I almost killed myself. I rushed my car even faster than it already was and trespassed hers, stopping my car just a few meters after her, not even calculating if this space would be enough for her to stop the car before hitting me. I just closed my eyes really tight and waited for a few seconds begging not to die. Fortunately, she was able to stop her car right in time before killing me and both of us left our cars.

"Are you insane by any reason?" she asked me leaving her car, visibly worried about me
"I ask you the same." I responded talking about the car race
"Listen, Pierre, you don't owe me any explanation anymore, just go back there and finish what you started before Ashley get worried about you. Now, if you excuse me..." not even wanting to hear what I had to say, she tried to open the door of her car, but I slammed it closed again
"Jessica, I love you very much and the very last thing I want is to see you get in this car again and get hurt."
"You don't want to see me get hurt? Is that the reason why you lied to me? Is that the reason why you were fucking with that slut that, by the way, is married and has a 2 years old little girl? Is that the reason why you did all that? Because you didn't want me to get hurt? If that's the reason why, you did everything wrong. You did hurt me!"
"Jessica, if only I could go back on time and erase this damned day, I would, but I just don't have this kind of power. All I can do now is tell you how much I'm sorry and swear that I will make it worth if you just please give me one more chance. Jessica, I really love you. You're everything that matters to me and without all of your love and support I think I'm gonna die." I said looking deep down her eyes and trying hard not to cry "It's not my fault, you just have to believe me. She..."
"Shut the hell up, Pierre!" she shouted interrupting me and crying again "Don't you dare say now that it was all Ashley's fault `cause if it was only her fault she would be dressed and there would be no one in that sofa with her, so we would never be here now. Pierre...Pierre, I remember that when you first left Montreal to start recording this damned album, way before all the fame and money, I cried in your arms and begged you to come back to me and not to stay in there with a hot blond chick with big breasts and butt. I remember that you answered me that you didn't have to `cause you had me. Of course you used another words, but whatever, that was the meaning. I'm sure that you weren't lying in that age. You really cared. But what changed since then? Did you start thinking that now you're just too good for me and that the girl who broke your heart a few years ago was better than me? Wouldn't it be better to just break up with me than just hurt me the way you did trying to make me believe you love me?"
"But, Jessica, I do love you. Nothing changed since that day. You're still the girl I love, you're still the same girl that has the first song of the first album I've ever recorded and that is probably going to have a lot more in the future if you just forgive me. I need you, Jessica, and I would never think that I'm just too good for you just because I'm the lead singer of a band, actually, I always thought that you were too good for me and I don't have a slight idea why you love or loved me. And I do not rather her. I just made a mistake. The most terrible mistake of my life but I swear that if you forgive that will never happen again."
"Pierre, I can't believe those words anymore. Words are useless. What I saw today hurt me more than anything that anyone could have ever said and I do believe I don't deserve this kind of suffering. And, just so you know, I wanted to tell you that I am...I am..."
"You are what?"
"I am...no, forget it. You don't need to know about it. This is my problem, not yours and I'm sure I'll know how to deal with it by myself." She said turning her backs on me and trying to open her car again as I slammed the door closed one more time and took her in my arms to kiss her

I needed that kiss to know if she still felt something about me, and I was glad to realize she did. I could feel her dropping many tears over my face, but she was responding my kiss and she was responding it with so much feeling that I knew that she didn't want to break away from my lips. But, soon, she actually pushed me away and slapped my face so hard and so unexpectedly that I felt in the ground with her five fingers printed on my face.
"If this is what you want to know, yes, I still love you and I don't know why or even how to stop it. And that's the reason why it's so hard to forgive you and to accept everything I saw you doing with my feelings making me think you were something you had never been."

That was the very last thing I heard her yelling at me before she entered her car and started driving away as fast as she could. When I managed to get myself out of the ground again, I started running in the same direction she did and started screaming her name, trying to convince myself that maybe she would come back. But she wouldn't. She just wouldn't come back to me again. When I realized that, I dropped myself in the knees in the middle of the street and kept crying for a long, long time, knowing how much stupid I had been. How...how I had everything I wanted in my hands and just had to throw it all away for nothing. Nothing at all. Just for a stupid slut that did nothing but hurt me and cheat on me during all the time that we've been together and that just returned now for money and fame. I traded the most perfect girl in the world for that.

After I was able to lead me back to my car, I stood up and started walking under the rain until I got to that same street to see a whole bunch of cops around my car taking it away. It's not legal to park it in the middle of the street and stop the traffic.

Awesome! Perfect! Incredible! That's the best day of my life! If I manage to find someone in the street to congratulate me for my birthday I guess I'll be arrested for spanking someone. It was a 1 hour drive to go back to the hotel. Let's see in how long time I'll be able to return there walking under the rain. At least I'll have sometime alone to think about everything. I said sometime? I meant many, many, many, many, many time.

Hours past by and the road in front of me didn't seem to have an ending and neither did the rain. I was feeling so tired and so sick that I was already considering giving up and throwing myself in the middle of the street without any strength, but I couldn't. This would be really easy and I needed to be punished for doing such thing to the girl I love.

After 4 entire hours of walking, my cell phone rang. My only wish was to see Jessie's name in the Caller ID, so I put my hands on my pocket and quickly took the cell phone in my hands. Differently from what I wanted, it wasn't Jessie, it was Jeff. The guys were looking for me. They were worried. Even though I wanted to answer just to let them know I was okay, I was afraid that if I did that I might beg for help and I knew they wouldn't refuse to help me, so I returned the cell phone to my pocket and pretended I was hearing nothing.

I could feel my throat hurting like it never did before and a high fever taking control of my body and getting higher every second that went by. That fever was getting so high that I was feeling dizzy and every single part of my body started hurting a lot, getting me weaker in every step that I took. Still, I had to carry on alone. Of course I was supposed to feel sick walking under the rain in such a cold day without any jacket or anything warm, but I deserved that really bad. No resting now.