FicWad

"Oh? What's this?"

From the tone of Laguna's voice, I had this sudden, terrible feeling that he was about to make an ass out of one or both of us. I turned as slowly as I could, and mentally swore up and down and sideways when I saw that he'd picked up one of those delicate religious items I'd taken from home with me-one of those things you take because you're religious and hope nobody ever finds, just for the sheer mortification it causes you, trying to explain something like that away. This particular one (and I thanked everything that he hadn't kept digging through that particular box I kept under my bed, because there were much more 'interesting' items in that box) was a wooden statue of one of the Prowess Gods-a young warrior standing with pike at his side and hound at his hip, completely in the nude (and in striking detail. I don't know why artists feel the need to endow statues with the same ... . /Any/way).

He stared at it for a moment, before looking up at me with a certain expectant glance-brow raised, Galbadian-trained smirk in place, and the slightest flush on his cheeks-to which I scoffed and hummed and hawed for a moment, trying to broach the delicate subject of my contraband religious artifacts to not only my lover, but my superior as well.

"It's just a statue."

"Mhm," Laguna hummed, standing from his crouch next to the box and striding over to me. He flopped against my back, leaning into me and draping his arms sort of around me to fold the statue at about eye level. "A statue."

"Yes."

"You know, Corporal Seagul," he began, in this slick, oily voice that sent shivers up my spine (and reminded me too much of some of the older soldiers in our first few years, who had tousled me around and made vague overtures as to what my slightly feminine looks did to young soldiers). "Items like this are illegal in Galbadia."

"I know-."

"I'll have to confiscate it." I shot him a glare over my shoulder, but he was just smiling like he'd won a lottery of some sort.

"Laguna, that's not funny-."

"Awfully personal with your superior, aren't you, Corporal?" He dropped the statue into the box of clothes I'd been rifling through (I hate moving with rank and file), moving his hands off from my shoulders to grab my hips, almost roughly. "So that's possession of a contraband item, and familiarity with an superior. My, my. I believe this calls for some serious ... /discipline/."

"Laguna-."

"Should I add insubordination to your offenses, Seagul?" He chuckled, this oily noise again, right into my ear, and spoke softly just there, sending a different sort of shiver down my back (and what was I thinking about, first and foremost? The fact that there was a god staring at me out of my clothing. It was like ... my mother were watching or something), "Now, what would be the best way to discipline you, Seagul? Laps? Some push-ups maybe? Or ..."

A hand skated down my front, and I held in a gasp as it grabbed at my crotch.

"Something a bit more old fashioned? /Flogging/?"

I broke his hold, as quickly as possible, and tripped over a stack of my boxes. They tumbled to the floor, me practically atop them, and my belongs went scattering in every different direction under my feet. Laguna laughed softly, covering his mouth when I looked back at him with a glare.

"It's not /funny/, Laguna. Help me finish packing."

"Oh, giving orders now, are we?" He stalked toward me, somehow managing to affect a menacing persona despite his slightest of limps (and that almost made me laugh aloud) and my belongings being in his way. "You're not acting terribly /subaltern/, /Corporal/. Awfully insubordinate. I think a flogging quite appropriate-."

"Loire, don't you /dare/."

He grabbed me, but it was more tenderly than if there were any real offense, and pulled me close, our chests pressing together, that one hand high on my arm and the other sliding slowly down from my shoulder-along my spine-taking a brief detour to caress my hip reassuringly. I frowned my concern and frustration at him, but he only acquired this smarmy sort of smirk.

I didn't make a sound when he smacked me (lightly, mind you, barely using any of his strength), but I did jump and my eyes did widen. He cocked his brow a little bit, hand moving in slowly, smooth circles over my ass-until he did it again, and I did squeak a little.

"Should I make you count as well, Corporal Seagul?" I couldn't look at him, and when I looked away, I had the unfortunate displeasure of seeing that among the things I had knocked over was the box with my clothes, and so my Prowess God was strewn on the floor carelessly, he and his hound staring up at us with an almost accusing (but at the same time rather appreciative) glare.

I pushed at Laguna's chest, biting my lip and swearing when he smacked me again, a bit more sharply than before. "Stop it."

"You haven't been probably disciplined, Corporal." He bit my ear, lightly, right above my piercing to tongue the back of it and tug at my lobe intimately. Discipline my ass/. When I growled a little in annoyance at his conduct, he smacked me again. /Much sharper than before, so I was canting away from his touch and making a startled noise, thus pressing into him a little.

He was clearly enjoying the entire situation far too much.

"If we could hurry this ... discipline along, sir?" I grumbled, wondering if there was any sort of clever way to get out of the situation without bending to my lover's perverted wants. He cocked a brow at me, abandoning my ear, very pointedly leaning into me, forcing me to step back a couple of paces until my back was against the wall and he was drawing my hips out to cant against his. That smirk came over his lips again, as his free hand did away with the buttons of my shirt, pushing it away from my chest.

"Well, I suppose we could come up with some other punishment, Seagul."

My belt disappeared in a light shift of air, and clattered to the floor unceremoniously-with me watching it go with trepidation, and flushing darkly when it knocked my God back toward us to watch. Laguna, however, was doing a decent job of distracting me from the statue, sort of letting me go to struggle out of his own clothing quickly while delivering sloppy kisses along my jaw and neck.

"Down," he muttered against my neck, and I could have sworn my face was blazing bright enough to light City.

"Laguna-!"

"C'mon, Kiros." His break almost made me smile. He kissed the underside of my chin, leaning into me insistently, almost rutting, and I frowned as he gripped my shoulder a little too roughly and sort of /insisted/.

My knees jarred, and I looked up at him, taking in soft, pale skin and his want-dark, pleading eyes. He licked his lips, staring at me; my eyes cut to the statue, across the floor from us. I couldn't move, staring at the vague brown lump of the base of that stupid statue, and he swore, tilting my chin back. There was a smile on his lips, but it was shaky and insincere.

"You don't-. Look, just ... get up, Kiros. I was just playin' around-I mean-." I cocked a brow at him, pointedly ignoring the statue (but it was /there/, watching us, and if my family had any idea, there'd be more than fire and brimstone to pay). He stared at me for a second, and swallowed unsurely when I licked my lips in this supposed-to-be-sensual sort of manner and brought my hands up to his hips so he couldn't start and do damage-probably more to himself than me, but there was always a possibility. "I-oh, /fuck/."

Served the bastard right.