Categories > Cartoons > Teen Titans > Define 'NOrMAL'

Define 'NOrMAL'

by FAUXnostalgia 0 reviews

Loved by many, Robin only hated. Hated by the world and everyone else, Kori only loved. As their lives entwine, their past not only destroys them, but beliefs on their own normality as well.

Category: Teen Titans - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst, Drama, Horror, Romance - Characters: Beast Boy, Blackfire, Raven, Robin, Slade, Starfire, Superboy, Terra - Warnings: [?] [V] - Published: 2007-01-21 - Updated: 2007-01-21 - 2861 words

TITLE: define 'NORMAL'
AUTHOR: faux nostalgia (me)
GENRE: romance, angst, drama
SUMMARY: loved by many, Robin only hated. Hated by the world and everyone else, Kori only loved. As their lives entwine, their past not only destroys them, but beliefs on their own normality as well.

stage o1:

Define ' NOrMAL '

stage o1

/My Daily Diary, Entry #1 of today's event:/

' Writing is not simply about telling other people what you want them to know in words. It is about secretly expressing yourself in a way that no voice can convey. '

That is what Raven tells me.

I have met her and befriended her before summer started this year, which was three and a half months ago. I am still new to this place, to this world... although I am born on it.

I do not know why I have been well kept 'in the box', as Raven tells it, for nearly my entire life. But as I was saying-err-writing, I am told that authorship is a great way to endure the troubled mind.

Is Raven correct?

I do not know.

Although I am human, I have not seen the world properly yet. Mother and Father, and even Sister, tells me that I am too fragile to encounter it. They tell me that many obstacles will be in my way and 'deviants', as Sister puts it, will wallow my sight with their 'ugly eyes'.

I do not know.

I do not get it.

The world is wonderous.

It is a what you call, a 'paradise', yes?

Jump City is a wonderous place, no doubt. I am able to express my feelings to both Raven and this daily book she has given me out of the blue. I am happy.

If I were to secretly express myself in a way I cannot voice out... I will write the word 'happy' all the way down the page until I reach the second page.

Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy-

I am sorry for not fulfilling such an assumed easy task.

I have forgotten how tiring it is to write a word repeatedly so much... and so fast. I think I will just continue with what I have in my mind.

I do not think I have mention anything about Raven in today's daily event. If I had done so, I will repeatedly write it again.

She is the person who told me to not just express my feelings with actions or voices. But also with words or pictures. I am satisfied to learn this for I have not written this right now.

Have I not mention that Raven is my bestest best friend in the world?

I believe I have not.

Very well. I will write about her here.

Although we are bestest best friends, we are not... exactly alike.

Since I am new to this outside world, I still do not understand what it is for people to 'get close' to each other. I have asked friend Raven such a question yet she merely replied the same monotonous ' ... ' when such... elating topic picks up.

I guess she and I are not alike in more than one way. But she is the only person who quite understands me.

It is... like you say.... yin and yang? Black and white? Peace and war? Fire and water? Light and dark?

Oh, yes.

Light and dark.

As to say, I am mostly... more uplifting than she is. Even if we are not exactly similar I feel the aura that we are the same in emotions.

' Bright people have their own shadows, as shadowed people have their spark of light. '

That is what she told me. I believe she is right.
I believe we are different outside... yet similar inside.

I believe we almost have the same past.

I believe that we also share the same pain.

Do we not?

(If you are attempting to read this, friend Raven, do not worry. I have no words written here against you. Merely, just a praise :) )

Then... Raven, have you anything bright in your soul, then? As I have anything shadowed in my heart?

She giggled.

I am told that I have many talents. That if I could write, I can write. If I can draw, I will draw. If I can, I can. That is what Mother, Father, and Raven tells me.

I think they are right.

Found City has always been my home. I think I will miss it dearly. As of now, I will enjoy Jump City for the time being.

Mother does not want me home yet. She is rather content that I had befriended someone so quickly.
I feel she is rather... surprise.

Sister is quite shocked, too. I do not know why.
They are acting very strange.

I love to write.

I deeply love this daily journal book. I am able to write my feelings when nobody is around to share it with.

The wondrous of it all is that, I am currently writing out in the park. I feel the breeze against my skin and hair. It is not quite cold, and neither is it quite warm.
Autumn is a wondrous time of the season, yet I cannot wait for winter.

It is quiet and white and the snow is very bright-oh, look, friend Raven! I have made a rhyme! I am able to write another short poetry! This time, it is not so depressing!

She smiled.

This is a point were I begin to wonder.
Why are people so.. different?

I imagined the world revolves around people who are the same. But they are different. Raven is different. My other classmates are quite different.

Why is Raven treated so... ' normally ' whilst my new school friends treat me as if I was never born in this planet?

' The world is a cruel place... Life is never fair... Nobody is the same... '

Raven has made sure it was correct.

I had just came out of my 'in the walls' many months ago. My new school year is quite... I do not know... intimidating?

Raven says they are always intimidating. I quietly understand her pain for she is what they call ' depressed ', or, was it not ' gothic '?

Yet I do not know why they call me a ' wannabe '. I ask Raven why I am called that. She tells me that I merely try too hard.

Am I really?

Do I really?

I ask her why classmate Kitten refers me as a... what is the word...? A ' bitch '? I am not a dog, and neither am I a female canine. I am a human being like her. But Raven does not reply.

There are many things I do not understand... especially this-

"Excuse me. Do you know where the new hospital around this area is? I've been kinda circling 'round but I can't find it anywhere."

Innocent sad eyes met a pair of eyes hidden beneath a thick black sunglasses that mimicked a little like looking glass.

Kori Anders quietly widened her eyes and stared at the boy who had just spoken to her. Or, rather, stared at her stunned reflection.

"Ulp...?" she squeaked silently.

The boy gave her a look, his brows shooting up with a 'what the hell?' look.

"Um... can you tell me where it is?" he repeated.

Beneath his politeness, she felt the tint of impatience. Her stomach did a frightening flip. The boy stared at him.

"Uh..." he muttered, "do you know where it is? It's all right if you don't I can just someone else..."

There was a moment's pause before the boy decided to turn around and walk away. Instead, Kori Anders flipped her book the other way and skimmed through her wrinkled pages.

The boy watched as she quickly drew something with slight nervousness. When she was finish, she quickly ripped the paper and shoved it to his chest. The boy took a step back, confused.

"Uh... thanks?" before she could hear him, she turned around and ran away.

The boy frowned.

"What the hell...? What was that all about?"

Kori Anders quickly turned the key and opened the gates. It took quite a while to reach the entrance door since it was practically half a mile away from the front garden. Too bad her parents had to be this plenteous.

"Oh... you're back already?"

Kori looked up to see her sister passing by.

"Sister," she huffed. "I thought you were partying today?"

"Oh puh - lease/," the black haired look-alike rolled her eyes, " I'm already exhausted from /yesterday's party."

Then, she frowned.

"Hey, I thought you were living what that freak of a friend of yours."

Kori straightened up and sent her sister an expressionless gaze.

"Please do not call Raven such a monstrous word, sister Komm," she remarked. Although she sounded a little harsh, there was a hint of sadness in her voice.

Her sister flicked her ebony hair over her shoulders and 'tsk'-ed.

"Whatever," she muttered, "oh, and it's Blackfire, to you, sister /Starfire/."

Kori pursed her lips.

"Very well, sister Blackfire," she murmured, "I will retire to my untouched room. Friend Raven is doing her job at her book store. I cannot go in the house for the door is locked."

"Pfft, didn't the goth give you a spare key?" Blackfire chided.

Kori gave a timid chuckle and rubbed the back of her head.

"Um... I have forgotten it inside the house again," she breathed nervously, "I believe I will have to stay for the night in my old home until I am able to call my friend... again."

Blackfire clucked her tongue.

"So... then what's the hurry, sis?" she asked. "You never were so excited for coming home here."

She didn't entirely sound concerned. She just liked the gossip.

"I was happily writing at my daily journal when a boy I am not quite comfortable with began to converse with me," Kori answered quietly.

Blackfire sneered.

"Aw, and he didn't try to violate you or anything?"

"No. I was able to run away before he could say any more."

"Oh. Well that's a bring-down to my life," Blackfire pouted sullenly. "Typical you. Careful, sis. Innocence can be easily broken. And I don't just mean your heart. Any boy will try to make a woman out of that body of yours." Kori heard her chuckle and walk away.

Why does she always advice me such disturbing phrases?

She turned around and quietly slipped into her room. She shut the door behind her and sat on a large bed. With a sigh, she stared at the familiar surrounding.

Thank goodness it is the last day of the week-end tomorrow. I do not like the memories of this place at all.

1 o'clock A. M.

Raven turned the door knob and raised an eyebrow when it didn't turn.

What the hell...?

Kori never locked the doors when she came home and it had always been her the last one to come home and lock it instead.

In an instant, she knew the girl wasn't inside.

"She can't be," she murmured, "there's no other place for her to go but my place and..."

She trailed off. With that she gave an exhausted sigh and pulled out her own keys.

"Geez," she muttered, "don't tell me you forgot your stupid keys again. Am I supposed to glue the notes I stuck on the fridge in your brain instead?"

She opened the door and took off her boots, pulling her hood down as she set the light to the right luminosity.

With a weary sigh, Raven headed to the living room and slump down on the soft mattress. The dimness radiated her usual mood of vacant as she stared at the TV in front of her.

Out of all the places you hated, you just had to stay at the worst possible spot.

With another useless sigh, she picked up the phone and dialed her number.

"Better call you up now to make sure you're still sane."

"Yes. I would like to be picked up. It is not a bother for you? I thank you. I will watch out... Really? One can shove a paper note through someone's brain? Is that not possible? Oh... ha-ha, a joke, yes? All right... I will wait half an hour. May my sanity be saved. See you outside friend Raven."

Kori hung up and fiddled on her pen as she placed her chin on her palm. She stared at her journal and sighed.

My Daily Diary, Entry #2 of today's event:

As I was writing... I do not think I understand this world. Is it strange for a human to not understand beings that are also humans?

Is it strange for a human being to not understand her world?

People ask me if I was normal. I do not understand. Normal is something regarded as a normative example. Is everyone suppose to be normal?

Am I not normal?

Why do people call me a ' wannabe '? I am told that I merely ' harum-scarum ' or go ' happy-go-lucky ' for attention. Why can people not be as happy as I can be?

I am like that but they do not know me fully yet. I think I will have to make them understand that in order to make the world round, one must be happy and make another happy and make another happy.

That is what I have seen in a cartoon show I have watch that Raven did not like. Hence was it too.. happy?

I do not know.

I do not get it.

She paused for a couple of minutes.

My name is Kori Anders. I am called Starfire by certain people who knew my past. I do not know why I look like I am right now.

I am only a human being.

Human beings have feelings.

So I am a human being.

Am I not?

Human beings stimulates different looks and sizes, yet... we are just all the same.

Inside and out. Correct?

I do not know.

I am seventeen-years-old, two months younger than Raven. My birthday is in summer yet I prefer the opposite season. I like the color purple. Green suits me quite well, also. I am quite taller than everyone because I constantly wear ' high-heeled platform boots '.

I like to be tall.

Is that why I want to stick out?

I want to make friends. I do not want to be afraid

I want to share my feelings with someone. Someone who is also not friend Raven. She is a great listener yet she cannot fully express her own feelings.

I would like to help someone's feelings.

Is that why I want to stand out?

Is that why I wish to receive attention?

Kori breathed and scanned her journal. A flashback occured and she jolted down more words crossing her mind.

My Daily Diary, Entry #3 of today's event:

Sometimes, I fear the world. I do not know why, but there is really many obstacles crossing my journeys.

Sometimes... I fear humans, though I am also one.
I fear certain kinds, such as that boy who had asked me directions. I have seen him during the last two months of last year's school year I had attended.

He is a troublemaker.

He not quite... kind looking.

He is always wearing such thick shades to hide his eyes. It is rather so thick that I am only able to see my own reflection clearly as daylight.

I have always seen him wearing it all the time. I hear that he does not listen to anyone. He is a top student, yet... he looks unacceptable to be in business.

That is plausibly because he is always seen with his... motorcycle?

It is a strange looking thing, anything I have ever seen.

Girls are always following him like a mouse and its cheese. I have seen him doing felonious things at such an underage.

I do not like him.

He is very scary.

He has not attended the first month of this year's school term. I believe he is in my class.


I clearly remember which class he is in.

I also fear that he will be seated next to the empty seat beside mine...

I am scared.

I do not know why.

He is frightening.

However... there is a nimbus of hidden feelings that is masking his features. I can feel them. I believe it is a term that friend Raven calls 'hiding behind a mask of conceit'. As she is also doing.

He is called Robin... I think. One boy who I always see walking around with him seem to call him that. Such a carefree flight of name for such a troublesome being...

He is scary to me.

I do not think I like him that much.

But perhaps... he was once a shining person whose darkness overpowered him up so much... making him a shadowed person who has forgotten his spark of light?

I do not know.

But I fear I may be correct.

to be continued

A/N: This is based on the manga MARS by Fuyumi Soryo.
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