FicWad

The bus was so quiet it seemed as if she was trapped in a cave. Monica removed her coat and looked around trying to decide what to do with her time. She finally sat down on the sofa and became lost in thought. Gee was so angry with her. She hadn't meant to pass judgment on him. It just shocked her that he seemed to be so indifferent to a child who could very well be his. This was a side of Gerard she had never seen. Perhaps there was more to this than what appeared on the surface. What was Liv really like she wondered. She and Gee had been together for several years. According to Ray, Gerard had been deeply in love with her. What if Gee still had feelings for her? Monica felt tears threaten her eyes. Liv could give him what she couldn't, a child. God, how she wished she could give Gee a child of his own. She silently cursed Kyle. He had taken so much from her.
Slowly Monica stood and headed towards her bunk. She knew she was giving into depression by sleeping but couldn't seem to stop herself. Closing her eyes she just wanted it all to go away. She wanted the sweet release of thoughts through sleep. In her head she heard the song played over and over, "Just close your eyes. Kiss me goodbye and sleep."
She hadn't covered and the bus had gotten considerably colder. Her body slightly shivered but a once she felt warmth. Her dream incorporated the feeling and it was Gee's arms giving her not only physical warmth but also the mental warmth of feeling cherished.
"Monica, honey wake up" she heard in her ear. She came fully awake, the dream was real. Gerard was lying next to her.
"Please tell me you forgive me?" he whispered. "I love you so much."
Monica turned to looking into his beautiful eyes. "I love you" she snuggled closer to him burying her head against his chest.
"But do you forgive me?" He kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold on her.
She didn't answer at first. Finally she asked in a small voice 'Gee do you still love her?"
He hated that she thought she had to ask the question. Hated how stupid he had acted towards her. Mostly he hated that he couldn't give her the answer she deserved.
Monica's heart seemed to stop. His silence confirmed her worst fear. Silently she began to cry.
Gerard gently lifted her face to his. "Stop that, don't cry."
"But you won't answer my question, that means you do still love her."
He knew he need to talk to her but the need to kiss her overshadowed the talk. He captured her mouth with a deep passionate kiss. They were both breathless when their lips parted.
"Could I kiss you like that if there was someone else? Monica there is no one I love more than you. It's just once I loved her so fucking much and sometimes I remember how good it was at the beginning. I hate myself for remembering."
She thought for a minute and realized she understood. "Gee I know what you mean. I loved Kyle once and thought that I would never love anyone else. He and I were very happy the first few years, before he changed. I can't forget what he did to me, can't forget the pain yet my mind still replays the happy memories. When I was crying and told you I had a nightmare, it really was a dream. The dream was about a picnic he and I went on during our first year of marriage. I could see the green grass, the blue sky and his smiling face." She felt a shiver run down her spine. "You will always have memories of your feelings for her, it's OK"
"What if the kid is mine, Monica? What the fuck will I do?" he whispered. "I'm afraid"
"Gee you would be a great father." Her voice was filled with sadness. In his heart he knew why. She wished the child was theirs. They both held each other not speaking. Finally she tried to chase the unhappy thoughts away "Where is everyone else?" She looked at her watch and realized she had slept several hours.
They all went ahead to the sound check so I could talk to you. I told them I would catch up to them in about 20 minutes. By the way they all told me what an ass I was to you especially Mikey."
Monica smiled, "Well then I'm guessing that only leaves you about fourteen minutes."
"Fourteen minutes?"
"Yea, fourteen minutes is all you've got to make love to me."
This woman never ceased to amaze him. He was afraid she wouldn't forgive him when he had entered the bus. Now she was telling him how many minutes he had to make love to her.
"Thirteen"
He laughed, "Shit I better get started." His hands traveled over her body gently caressing as they moved. "This bunk is too fucking small." He complained.
Monica needed him so much she quickly answered, "There is a perfectly good floor right out there."
He was surprised. " The floor?"
"Twelve...and yes the floor." She raised his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm. Her teeth nipped on his fingers before her mouth claimed his ring finger. She began sucking it letting the finger slid in and almost out of her mouth.
"Shit that is making me so fucking hot" His breathing was quickly speeding up.
She let his finger slid out of her mouth, "Times a'wasting"
"But do we really have time?"
She put her hand on his budge, which was growing and giggled. "Ok, Ok You make me so horny I do you now but I want you to be ready" he was having trouble thinking her hand rubbing him was making it hard to concentrate.
Monica took his hand away from her mouth. Her other hand had undone her jeans. She lowered his hand and slipped it into her jeans and under her panties. He moaned when his fingers felt how hot and wet she was. "Oh fuck Monica."
"Yes fuck Monica. Eleven minutes"
He needed no more prompting. He rolled out of the bunk pulling her along so she landed on top of him. "We need to hurry before they come looking for me," he groaned.
She lifted herself off him just enough so she could pull his jeans down. At the same time he pushed hers down so she could easily remove them. They didn't even bother with the rest of their clothes. He rolled her off then under him. Parting her legs with his knee he entered her. He pushed deep and hard. Monica moaned and wrapped her legs around him. Their ragged breathing was the only sound and it echoed through the bus.
"Harder Gee" she demanded dragging her fingernails across his back. He was happy to do as she demanded. She came with a sharp intake of breath. When he heard her passionate love sounds he was pushed over the edge. He came with such intensity he was dizzy. He collapsed on her rolling to the side so they faced each other.
"See with minutes to spare" She kissed his lips not wanting this to end.
"I love you so fucking much, honey." He still couldn't catch his breath.
"You need to go," she finally told him. The guys are waiting."
They both quickly dressed and made their way to the Aragon Ballroom walking side by side hand in hand.