Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Cobwebs On My Zipper

Gumwrappers and Immaturity

by ZippersOverYou 3 reviews

bout freaking time.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody, Romance - Published: 2007-01-26 - Updated: 2007-01-27 - 1917 words

Sorry about the massive wait...School's been insane...blah. Hope you like it!

More than quietly, I slipped the dress over my head and smoothed out the barely noticeable wrinkles on my unattractively curvy hips. Spinning around just to feel the softness of the dress coldly rush across my shins, I nitpicked the mirror with the petty nature I'd always had. I needed eyeliner, better earrings, lipstick and a different hairstyle from the casual ponytail I lazily sported every day of my life.

I prioritized and grabbed the small eyeliner just to drag it across the lid of my eyes and did my best to recreate the shadowy look, fail, oh well. Using my fingers, I combed my hair to a tousled, vertical position and clipped it up. It actually looked decent...let's see how long that'll last. Throwing my studs to the floor, I clipped in long blue danglers that had been known to blind when they hooked up with the light. The lipstick bled onto my lips like an incredibly emo poem and I shoved it into my purse with less gracefulness than the invitation called for.

Still swirling and throwing on bracelets, I nitpicked and nitpicked until I scarred the mirror and stormed away from it fuming.

I hadn't seen anyone else's attire but I had assured me it would be the kind of clothes that leave all the girls sweating and crossing their legs all night long, lucky me.

A soft knock only from the hands of Melissa braved my door as she blinded the mirror. Her long, curly black hair contrasted with the delicate white purity of her thick-strapped, soft-curved dress. The wonder of colored eyeliner teased my curiosity as her eyes caught every particle of light in the room. Just above her knees the dress classily stopped in pleats.

" No, you did not just walk into my room looking like that. Get out and put on a garbage bag or something. I am not putting up with you look that hot all night."

She compacted her face but somehow managed to look no less attractive...that took skill.

"Blah, you look amazing."

"I look like a noodle that had an Emo Easter accident."

Not that that made any sense...

"Heh, what exactly did that happen to mean?"

"I was trying to convey I look anorexic and in really dark colors, I'm just not very good at it."

"I hope it didn't take you too long to figure that out..."

"No help to you..."

"So, are you going to dance with Patrick?"

My turn to look less attractive.

"Why the hell would he dance with me? That boy could dance, dance his way with anyone and she'd end up sleeping with someone in Fall Out Boy."

"Then Pete would write a stupid song about her."

"Here, here."

"Dude, can't you tell? Patrick is dying to dance with you."

"Excuse me? Now you look that hot and you're lying? Just...out!"

"Are you kidding me? He's been drooling over you like a starved puppy in a hat."

"Yes, in a hat. But otherwise, no."

"Dude!! Are we even talking about the same person? Patrick likes you."

"A little lesson, children. This is Patrick. Patrick likes guitars. Can you say guitars?"

"Oh, come on."

"There's no Jess in guitar."

"That'd be weird."

"Yes it would."

"He totally likes you!"

"Like how Pete likes you?"

"Pete doesn't like me."

"Pah-ha! The tables are turning like a bisexual celebrity! Pete's got it bad for you."


"Yes, yes he does."

Just to save any bit of dignity that conversation once had, Rebekah and Joe strode in looking gorgeous beyond the point of coherent comprehension.

"Guys, it's...whoa. You two look great. Damn, it's almost time to go. Grab your men."

I turned to Melissa and twisted my head like Chubby Checker,

"We have men?"

"Yeah, the two hunks in the other room."

"Excuse me?"

"You know I only have eyes for you, my little Trohmania."

A bit creepy....

Melissa and I stood and reflattened the dresses before escorting our wraps out into the hall.

Joe shoved his afro into the door next to us and yelled harshly,

"Wentz, Stump!! Get out here now, you expect these lovely ladies to wait on your sorry asses?"

Unheeding, Pete and Patrick stepped from the door looking quite disorganized and quite rushed but otherwise sexy beyond belief.

Pete was in the casual monochrome black and white but sported his own clandestine tie very well. Thick black hair draped over his eyes and pulled out the 'I don't care. I'm sexy' sort of look people associated with the Wonder Wentz.

I had to give Patrick a full introduction in my head just to counter the grandeur of how handsome he looked. Starting from the feet, I set some looks appropriate theme music in my head and observed the blindingly shiny black shoes.

Old school classy black slacks were completely misled by the no doubt punk belt and reset with the blood red dress shirt unclipped at the top.

Freshly washed locks braved out from under the black and red candy-cane top hat and I couldn't help but 'wow'.


He said, slightly startled and worriedly rethinking his fashion statement. Maybe he did like me...Don't be so high school.

"No, no you look great. Damn."

"Nah, I look like a cheap pill. I should change."

Everyone groaned as he turned back towards the door. I reached for his belt loop but ended up grabbing his hand. He turned to me with light gray eyes,

"You look great."

He blushed and Andy couldn't help but shout,

"Hey, now he matches completely!"

Blushing even more he slapped Andy's shoulder as the rest of us waddled down the hallway.

Pete's eyes could only be described as riveted upon Melissa. Hell, he almost tripped over a trashcan because he wasn't paying attention.

The walk down caused a few stares from the people milling around the lobby in their Carlsbad Caverns T-Shirts and flip-flops complete with socks.

Joe and Rebekah were taking the second car while the rest of us rode under Andy's diction of the wheel and, lucky me, I got to sit between Pete and Patrick. There was a strange mix of anxiety and expensive cologne that made me fall into a strange sort of sensual trance between them.

Just don't get all loopy....don't.

I was doing pretty well keeping my cool while Melissa and Andy playfully fought in the front seats until something somewhere started to vibrate with that awkward vibrating sound.

Coming slightly back into reality, I dug through the mass of useless crap and extra camera batteries in my purse to find the item.

I flipped open the phone hurriedly and read the text message over and over,

"You look incredible."

The number was neither recognized by my phone or by me and I stared at it dumbly. What kind of blind person would send me that??


Patrick smacked his forehead next to me.

"What is it, man? Don't tell me you have to brush your hair again."

Pete joked with him and tried to ruffle his hair, ignoring me completely but Patrick leaned away efficiently.

Feeling the stupidity bug dwell in my veins, I closed the phone and replaced it in the piles of gum wrappers and immaturity.

Not two minutes later, the buzz buzzed again and shook my knee violently.

Huffing like an upset puppy, I unzipped the bag and brought back out the brightly lit phone.

The same number stalked me in more than one way as I humored it.

"Sorry, it's Patrick."

I stared at this one even longer before glancing at Patrick who smiled and stared at his still shiny shoes.


That was pretty much how the whole night went.

At the table, I'd reread the texts, meet Patrick's eyes, watch him blush and make a bad joke to prove I was paying someone for attention.

Yeah, there was some rap in the background but I didn't really pay attention to that...

"Jess, you've never been here, have you?"

King Licorice's voice shakes me from everything but inhibitions as he stared at me from across the table.

"Um...I've never been to Pennsylvania before so it would be kinda weird if I'd been here."

"Right...duh. I have got to show you the view. Come with me."

Picking up my wrap, Patrick shoved his hands in his pockets and strode next to me holding up the awkward silence gently.

More perfumes danced in the air and made me swoon, luckily Patrick had held out his soft hand to help me up the stairs. Chivalry is dead? Yeah, just like punk...

The silence irritated me too much,

"This must be some view."

"It's beautiful."

"W-Wouldn't you rather be watching the show?"

"Not really. The second half almost is symmetrical to the first."

"Joyous rapture...I can't wait."

Laughing, oh so slightly, the blonde bombshell took my hand in his as if he'd break it and guided me further up the stairwell, eventually to the top where I could stare upon the stairs with contempt.

Happily, he left me there so he could open the French double doors with an epic flourish.

No joke, the view took my breath away. Just looking over the balcony at the navy blue sky fading to black with stars scattered around like sprinkles. City lights burned their way into my memory as my lipstick parted and the wrap all but fell to the floor.

As I stepped through the doors, I could almost feel my eyes sparkle and my hair fall in intimidation of the natural beauty.

Taking my hand again, Patrick pulled me up to the stone rail, cold against my bare arms and stood next to me as I gasped at the beauty.

I had always had horrible eyesight but never wore my glasses. So watching the scene over the railing was like watching a score of fireworks, paused in their moment of colorful glory just for me.

Patrick's sweet beautiful voice played as the best background music I could ask for,


I turned to him like we stood in a music video.

"I-It's...I-it's. I...Jess. Y-you look so beautiful. L-Like nothing I s-should ever be able to see."

He seemed to be reciting words from his arm and I'd always hated cue cards. Stepping up to him, I covered his forearm and stared into his gray eyes,


" N-Not that you'd want t-to seeing a-a-as how it's me but...uh. Would uh....I really like you. Canyoubemygirlfriend?"

I forced myself not to step back in surprise but just to inhale his labored, tired breaths.


I was never very clever in high-pressure situations.

He smiled a sweet, heart-melting smile as he wrapped his arms around me and we stood on the balcony in a hug in front of the city lights. I wasn't quite sure why we were hugging but I considered it like a celebration.

Separating, he stared nervously down at me and smiled with his lower lip quivering,

"Oh, right."

Robotically, he leaned in closer and closer to me but stopped and erased all progress,

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes! Yes you can kiss me."

Before I got old...

Robotically, he leaned in closer and closer until he was breathing on my lips before he took the time to stop. Sighing, he pressed his lips to mine.
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