Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Cobwebs On My Zipper

Rockstars and Static

by ZippersOverYou 2 reviews

And then there's this

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody, Romance - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-01-28 - Updated: 2007-01-29 - 1079 words

Yeah, it's a bit short but it'd be a carpal-tunnel shame to extend this


Of all things it was, rockstar kiss wasn't one of them. It'd probably be the kiss a groupie would be quite disappointed with. More nervous shaking than experienced passion but, despite that, it was the kind of kiss that took my breath away. That wasn't hard seeing how out of shape and pudgy I was.

A cold wind shuddered through my red outfit as I stood in front of the brunette in the blue dress on a balcony in the middle of Philadelphia and combined intoxication caused me to shiver.

Noticing, she pressed the back of her hand to my cheek and felt the temperature dropping steadily. Just the warm feel of her hand just made me want to do something stupid. Something so stupid that when I woke up, she'd be over me and I could watch her yell at me for being so idiotic.

"Patrick," her voice was sweet, like I'd never heard it before, like it was coated with a sheet of icing, "wanna get out of here?"

I smirked mischievously and placed my hands on the thin beauty of her waist.


Dammit. Where the hell was Patrick? He was slightly important as far as executing my Melissa date plan. He bailed on me, didn't he? Shit. Shit. Shit.

The show was almost over and I sucked at improving.

Small beads started to form and run down the nape of my neck as if they were being chased by some specter in my hair and strangely the suit around me felt like it had transformed into a straightjacket and I needed to take it off.

Breathing heavily, my hands longed to loosen my tie before anything but I kept my composure above the danger rating.

Motherfucker, where the fuck was Patrick??

Shaking I dug my Sidekick from the grave it had dug itself and flipped it open under the table.

where the hell are you??

I stared at the screen forever and watched small sweat droplets fall from my forehead like hopes from a slanted rooftop. Like rain from the eyes of clouds. Like pills falling from the bottle...

Muffled, it vibrated in my hand and begged for attention just like my writing.

Momentarily, I had to wipe tears, sweat or blood from my eyes just to read it.

Sorry man but im kinda busy

dude I fcking need you here

Way too quickly, the black delivery system of lies vibrated again.

From: Trohmania
pete are you ok you look like ur gonna hurl

yea im fine just texting

I came up from under the table just to reinforce everyone's buildings made of worries with my expensive beams of lies.

For a second everyone stared at me and I could only help but wonder what sorta shit pile I looked like drenched in sweat and shaking like an unprepared freshman.

Forcing myself not to insult Melissa with my stare, I refocused on the siren in my hands.

dude...I cant. buys

what the hell are you doing?

pete you look like your gonna hurl

I used my whole effort to come back to the tabletop reality and stare angrily at Joe,

"Dude, I fucking know."

At least, that's what I meant to say but my mouth moved too quickly for my mind to catch its breath and everyone stared at me open mouthed.

Blushing, sweating and feeling light headed I turned to Melissa who just stared at me like a deer before a stupid steamroller.

"Y-You wanna go out with me?"

My hand vibrated like a cheap sex toy but I just stared open mouthed at her feeling more stupid then I ever had.

From the corner of my eye I could see everyone willing themselves not to blink and me just waiting for them to.

I threw out some word that I just prayed was 'yes'. Fuck, I might just throw up...

She nervously wrung her hands like a wet dish rag...fuck, she's gonna say no to something I didn't even mean to say. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I watched her beautiful eyes dart across the room and speculate who was watching. I didn't know I was holding my breath until my lungs almost collapsed.

Almost silently, she breathed 'yes',

It took me a few minutes and a table full of nervous smiles to realize everything that just happened.

Pathetically, the two of us exchanged smiles and I had to excuse myself.

Standing weakly, I tried not to get motion sickness and did my best to walk straight across the never-ending hall to the bathroom.

With no sense of the world around me I fell against the door and just continued straight through until I hit the floor. Thank god no one was in there.

After a minute of continuous vibration in my pocket with my eyes closed I threw out my Sidekick and opened it.

nothing im just back at the hotel

Not making an effort to delete it or to think of anything coherent to reply, I scrolled through the list of contacts.

Half losing myself to a dream, I dragged myself into a sitting position and called Jess.

"Pete, I'm-"

"I-I need you."


"Please, I need to talk to you."

"P-Pete what's going on? Are you ok?"

"I-I-I just asked out Melissa."

"And...this is bad?"

"I don't t-think I can handle it. I'm l-losing myself."

"Pete, put your head between your knees, close your eyes, breathe and just listen to me."

Praying to her like the saint I secretly knew she was, I followed her static instructions,

"Pete, it's ok. We all get nervous at times like this. All right? Everyone gets nervous before asking someone out and a lot of the times, after. It's gonna be ok. And the worst thing she can say is fricking two letters."

"She already said yes."

"Than...just breathe, Pete. Breathe and when you feel better go to the bathroom, run some cold water over your face, fix your eyeliner and go back out and sit next to her. If you feel up to it, grab her hand. All right? Do you think you can do that?"


I was feeling a little more level already.


"Yeah, Pete?"


"Anytime, Pete."

Breathing slowly, I stood up and watched my horrid reflection come into the mirror like the victim in some horror movie had missed their cue.

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