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"Alex! Table three!" My boss yelled as I sat daydreaming and staring out the window.
Instantly I jumped up, grabbed my tablet and walked up to the table. "Can I help you?" I asked trying to sound happy.
"Yes, I'll have a coffee and what's the special?"
"Homemade chicken corn soup." I answered glancing at the man that always sat at table three and watched my do my rounds.
"Mmm, sounds good, I'll have that." He said as I nodded and turned away.
"Order up!" I shouted over the familiar sounds of the kitchen.
As I flopped down in the chair I had been sitting at I thought back to only a year ago, how I ran off to Chicago to find a man I thought I loved. When Sabrina and I got back, we found many missing person posters on the buildings and telephone poles. When we went to the police to ask about them the officer only told us a crazy women wanted them up. They agreed and they'd been up since last year.
We went and found my mother, who I was quite shocked got her act together and kept a clean house now and was a functioning member of society. She pleaded with us to let us stay with her and watch over her granddaughter while me and Sabrina went to work.
"Alex, I'm not paying you to daydream, get to work!" My boss yelled at me while I sat there staring off into space.
I jumped and quickly got to work filling orders and giving people what they wanted. When my shift was over I got my pay for the week and went tiredly out to my car.
I got home a few minutes later and found my mom and Chloe playing on the floor. When I walked in and dropped my bag on the floor my mom looked up and smiled at me.
"How was work?" She asked glancing back at Chloe who was pulling on the telephone cord.
"Work." I said flopping down in a chair and resting a little.
As I glanced at the TV that was blaring I almost screamed. The guys were doing an interview on MTV. Pete had a five o'clock shadow. Joe still had the Jew Fro. Andy was getting extremely skinny; meanwhile Patrick looked like he gained more weight. The interview was just like any other, but just as I was about to change the channel the freaky carbon copy interview struck it home.
"Is, there any new ladies in you life?"
"Not totally, nothing new in Fall Out Boy land." Pete smirked, he looked so tired.
"I'm still getting over my old girlfriend leaving me." Patrick piped in.
"Awww, what happened?"
"She just walked out on me one day."
As I sat there and stared blindly at the TV, tears came to my eye. He made it sound like I was the bad person. A tear rolled down my cheek as I looked down at my hands and remembered back to the night I last saw them.
When I looked up Chloe was staring at me with a strange look. Then she ran up and hugged my legs.
"Mommy ok?" She said walking over to me.
"Yes, mommy's ok." I smiled picking her up and twirling her around.
"But why you cry?" Her little eyebrows furrowed and hugged me tightly.
"I'm just happy." I said swallowing my tears and clearing my throat.
"I happy too." She giggled holding up Panda and snuggling him against my neck.
Just then Sabrina came in and flopped down on the couch.
"Sa-Sabrina?"
"Yes, Alex?"
"The guys were on MTV and Patrick made it sound like I was the reason I walked out on him."
"Are you serious?" She said dropping her bag pacing.
"Yeah, the others didn't even flinch when he said it too."
"Ouch, that did he say?"
"That he was still getting over the fact I left him."
"Jeeze, that's low." She scoffed turning to the kitchen and opening the fridge. "Nothing about Chloe?"
"No, I guess he forgets she exists."
"Well, now I guess we'll just have to take care of this."
"I guess." I said dreading the meeting next week.

~~~
"Alex, are you ready yet?" Sabrina asked the next week, the day we were supposed to surprise the guys after almost two years.
"Almost." I mumbled brushing my hair and pulling it back in a hair tie.
I glanced at my reflection. You could seriously tell I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night as I lay awake thinking of what was gonna happen hours from now. Deep bags hung under my eyes, I tried my best to cover them with make-up but they just looked worse.
"Hey, Alex I'm not getting any younger." Sabina said leaning in the doorway and smirking as I took one last look in the mirror. "Insomnia finally catching up with you?"
"Shut up." I said grabbing my purse and making my way past her. "I'm not gonna enjoy this."
"I know you won't but you're still harboring bad feelings and its time you let them go."
"Beans, the guy fucked his ex girlfriend the same day he fucked me." I glanced in on my mom and Chloe. "And if he did it before, that means every time I was out he probably did it."
"So?" She waved at Chloe and followed me out the door. "That's how affairs work."
"But just the whole thought of him sticking his thing in her thing and later going and sticking his thing in my thing just makes me sick inside."
"You totally just sounded like you did back in 7th grade." She laughed putting the car in reverse and backing out of the driveway.
"I did, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Whatever, fucktard." I smirked at her.
The rest of the ride was mainly silent, except for the blasting stereo and our screaming. Before I know it we were in the town were they were having a small venue tour. I let out a sigh and shot a pleading glance her way.
"Don't even ask Alex, we're not turning around."
"Then can I-!"
"And you can't sit in the car."
"Fucker." I mumbled under my breath as we got out of the car and made our way over to the venue.
We gave the security guard our tickets and we were forced into a very small room. I glanced around and sighed.
"Well, I guess they're out of room." I snapped my fingers. "Darn, I guess we'll have to go back."
"Don't try that one." Sabrina hissed grabbing my sleeve and pulling me to the front of the room, inches from the stage.
Soon they came out and gave everyone a wave and started playing. Even though they were meant for fan between the ages of ...12 to 17, we were the only ones there about the age of 15. Everyone else was girls screaming for Pete to marry them and to have his babies.
In fact, we were the only ones to know the songs from Take this To Yours Grave and Evening Out With Your Girlfriend. While we sang the songs (or really Sabrina sang the songs with all her heart) all the other girls in the room gave us weird looks and whispered words like old timers and things like that.
Once they were halfway through their set Pete jumped up on an amp and shouted into the microphone.
"Now, I think we have to give props to these two fans in front."
A few girls screamed and raised their hands as he got close to the edge of the stage.
"Tell us your names." He shouted and pointed at me and Sabrina.
Before I could stop her she smirked and shouted back. "You should know us already."
"What does that mean?" He laughed nervously glancing at the security guards.
"You just should we only lived with you for a year."
Pete stepped back and sighed.
"You're just messing with us now." He laughed and gestured at us.
"We're Alex and Sabrina." She shouted and the music stopped. Girls around us turned and shot evil glances our way.
"HEY! It's the girls that walked out on Patrick and Joe!" Someone yelled. Patrick looked straight at me, but I looked down quickly and brushed my hair behind my ears.
Pete squinted at us and nodded at the security guards who came up and grabbed us by the shoulders. They led us out of the crowd as people booed and they did nothing to stop them. We were pushed into a very small room and forced onto a rotting couch.
After about an hour they came in and smile at us. Pete rushed up and hugged me and almost started crying. Joe and Sabrina shared a steamy lip lock and pulled back for air after a while.
Andy rushed up and swallowed me in a hug, holding me tightly like he was afraid I was going to leave again.
"Andy, air, I need air." I gasped as he let go and looked me up and down.
"You've changed so much."
"You have too." I glanced at his tiny waist and looked over at Pete. He shrugged and glanced at Patrick who had went over the opposite side of the room and pulled a bottle of bubbly out of a mini fridge. He poured himself a glass along with everyone else, then handed them out. As he handed me my glass I felt his hand gaze mine. I quickly pulled away and watched the glass fall to the floor with a shattering echo effect going on.
Patrick cocked his head at me and then gently shook it. I glanced back at the others; they gave me pitying looks and Sabrina gesture to his fading frame as he went in search of a dustpan. I nodded and ran after him. When I finally caught up with him he had his hands shoved in his pockets and kept his head forward. It was almost like he didn't notice I was there.
"So..."I stumbled on the first word I said to him in two years.
"So?" He answered back quickening his pace. I easily caught up and kept the pace.
"How's life treating you?"
"How life- is how is life treating me?!" He snapped grabbing my arm and forcing me against the wall with a hard thud. "You tell me how you're feeling when you got caught cheating by your very faithful girlfriend and the minute she's out the door and out of your life you want her back like you haven't seen her in years."
I opened my mouth to say something but he continued.
"And then cut to two years later, you haven't seen her or your daughter and then she just randomly shows up at one of your shows."
"Patrick! You're hurting me!" I shouted as his grip tightened on my arm to the point where it was almost unbearable.
"Try going through that and then tell me how life is treating you?"
With that he let my arm go and stormed off down the hall.
"Patrick, you do realize I wouldn't have left if you didn't cheat on me!" I shouted following him down the long hall.
"I know, I was desperate."
"Desperate?!" I scoffed rolling my eyes. "No desperate would be finding a legal fan girl and fucking her in the broom closet."
"You think that's desperate?"
"Yes, the things you did with Anna are just unforgivable."
"I know." He stopped and turned to me, either I got shorter or he got taller because it felt like he was towering over me. "And I regret everyday that I did that."
I stared at him for a long second and then he leaned in closer to me. As he was about to kiss me a roadie walked out into the hall and stared walking our way. I pulled back quickly and looked down and my falling apart converses.
"You'd better see what he wants." I said in a hoarse tone and turned to walk back to the meeting room where the others were.
As I glanced over my shoulder at Patrick he gave me a hurt look and turned back to the roadie. I just kept walking down the long hall we just walked when something inside me snapped. In an instant I felt my feet slapping the concrete floor as I ran out the emergency exit and into the empty parking lot. I looked around for anyplace I could go to get away from him and his desperate attempt to get me back.
A group of kids sat along the wall smoking a blunt. They nodded to me, signaling that I could come over. I rubbed my arm as I crossed the lot and sat down next to the last kid that smelled like ass. I shifted away from him and sighed.
"So, where'd you come from in a hurry?"
"I needed to get away from someone that hurt me." The ass kid handed me the blunt which I refused.
"Oh, was it that Wentz guy?" A girl asked with pink spiky hair and a lip ring.
"No, why would you say something like that?"
"That guy ripped out Lily's heart." A guy with a mohawk said as he hugged a plump girl with long black hair.
"What do you mean?"
"She went to a meet with him and he totally blew her off." The guy explained.
"Oh." I said quietly looking from one face to another.
"So, who did hurt you?"
"The lead singer." I said looking down at my Converses again.
"Come on, someone as pretty as you with someone as ugly as him?" The mohawk guy said smirking at me and staring at my chest and thighs.
"Yeah, well I gotta go." I said getting up and quickly turning and dashing off to the venue again.
I didn't stop running until I got back to the meeting room where the others sat and talk lightly. I breathed hard as I sat down and stretched my legs out.
"Where the hell were you?" Sabrina asked looking up from Joe. "We were starting to think you two hooked up again."
"God no." I scoffed turning to see Patrick walk into the room; he locked eyes with me for a second then stared a staring contest with his shoes.
"So, where were you?" I met a few of your fans and let me tell you they weren't very happy about you."
"How so?" Pete said leaning forward in his seat.
"A girl said you blew her off at a meet one time."
"Oh, that." He smile disappeared. "That was the time I got in a fight with the security guard."
"Nice story." I said getting up and glancing at my watch. "Well it was nice seeing you again but I need to get home to Chloe."
"Let us take you; I want to see Chloe again." Andy said getting up too and pulling me out the door into the hallway. "Tell me if he did anything to you."
"Nothing happened Andy." I said pulling my arm away and rubbing the sore spot.
"Please just let him see her one last time."
"I don't know."
"Please?"
I thought for a few seconds and sighed. "Why not?"
"Thank you." He smiled and pulled me into a gently hug. "We can always make him jealous again."
"Andy, you perv!" I pushed him away and playfully swatted his arm.
"Just a suggestion." He laughed and grabbed my hand pulling me back into the room.
"Let's go!" I announced waving my arms and gesturing for them to follow.
When we got out to the parking lot I glanced at Sabrina who completely understood and whispered to Joe, who whispered to Pete, who whispered to Andy. They all nodded and got in the four seater car they had and left me and Patrick to drive home in my car. I got in and he slowly followed.
As we pulled out I flipped through the CD's I kept in my car and pulled out some of their old stuff. I put it in with shaking hands and let it load then switched it to Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dieing. By the end of the song he got my point and started talking.
"Alex, you know I still love you." I turned to me but I kept my hands tight on the steering wheel and looked forward.
"If only the feeling was mutual."
"Alex, I know deep down you still do." He grabbed my hand that I put on the clutch. I pulled it away and put it back on the wheel.
"Patrick, you have Anna." I said coldly as Snitches and Talkers came on.
"No I don't." I could tell he was biting his lip. "I want to have you."
"Sorry." I said watching him wince and keep trying. "Was that an apology?"
"Alex, please stop acting like this."
"Why should I?" I snapped as Pete screams filled the car.
"Because I know deep down you'll forgive me."
"And what gave you that idea?" I cocked my head at him while gripping the wheel so tight my knuckles turned white.
"I know you're a forgiving person."
"Yeah, when I know what the person did was an honest mistake." I ripped the CD out of the stereo and replaced it with another; the welcome sounds of Buried Myself Alive filled the car and caused me to speed down the bypass. "But I don't know if I'll be able to forgive this one."
"Please find it in your heart to-."
"No! Patrick I'm taking you to see your daughter one last time and to reconnect with my friends." I glanced in the rearview mirror. "Then you guys will leave and I'll get on with own little existence, without you."
The rest of the car ride was quiet. I refused to talk after that and I guess Patrick was too shocked to say anything after that either. I had The Used on repeat and by the third time of listening to it I felt tears come to my eyes. Why? I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that we weren't on speaking terms and it wasn't gonna end well.
When we finally got home I got out and slammed the door and stormed up to the front door, followed by the others. It was pretty late so I stayed quiet. I dropped my keys on the kitchen table and turned back to the guys who were standing awkwardly in the middle of the enormous living room.
"Well, home sweet home." I said holding my arms out and then going up the stairs and back the hall to my room.
I didn't want to have anything to do with them tonight, in the morning maybe. I flopped down on my bed and pulled a pillow over my head. I heard the door open and closed and someone walk across the carpeted floor.
"State your business." I said though the fabric of the pillow.
"Why are you acting like this?" Sabrina said angrily pulling the pillow out of my hands. "You have people downstairs that are here because of you."
"Yeah, and a total douche bag that doesn't get the hint that I down want to see him."
"Alex, he's trying to apologize and all you're doing is pushing him away."
"And I don't want to hear it!" I snapped, she immediately shut her mouth in shock. "How would you feel if Joe cheated on you and then I took you to one of their shows and got us backstage?"
"I-."
"I'll tell you how you'd feel." I said getting up and shutting the door. "You would be acting pissy and irritable all evening because you really didn't want to go but you did anyway because you're a good person."
"Ok, I can see why you're acting like that but they aren't sure what to do now that they're here and nobody is down there with them."
"Still, I'll show them where they can sleep for tonight and then I'm going to bed." I said going out the door and showing the where to sleep. This was the living room floor.
I went back to my room and sat back down on the bed. Again I didn't feel like sleeping in my own house. After about an hour I sighed and grabbed my jacket off the chair in my room walked quietly down the hall and picked up my badly beaten Converses off the stairs. Downstairs in the living room everyone was sleeping, all four of them were there. I breathed a sigh of relief then picked my car keys off the counter and closed the door gently behind me on my way out.
Once out of the driveway I pressed hard on the gas and sped down the road. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a car slowly trailing me, probably just some kids looking for something fun to do on Saturday night. Soon familiar landmarks came into view as I slowed in front of the bar I once worked at. I stopped and slid out. The dim lights were still on and a few people still sat at the bar knocking back shots of whiskey and vodka mixes.
I sat down at the last barstool and waited for the bartender to notice me.
"Well, would you look at who showed up?" The bartender said walking up and smiling at me. "We missed you."
"I know, what's it been two years?" I smirked glancing over my shoulder at a shadowy figure that sat at the far table.
"Just about." He laughed and filled another order. "What can I get ya?"
"Just a straight shot of vodka, Sean." I nodded and glanced back at the figure again.
Sean gave me my drink which I knocked back quickly and pulled in a sharp breath.
"Uh, that stuff could kill somebody." I groaned trying to get the taste out of my mouth.
"Potent ain't it?" He laughed as I slipped a ten across the bar and got up. "Awww, are you leaving now?"
"Yeah sorry, I have another place to visit."
With that I walked out and got back in my car started it with a jerk. I drove for a while until I pulled up in front of my old home. The apartment complex looked a lot worse since I last saw it. Paint chipped on the walls and the windows were dingy and unkept.
"God, this place looks terrible." I mumbled as I shut off the car and got out. I walked up to the outdoor staircase I quickly climbed the cement steps with ease.
I got to the roof in no time and found my favorite spot. The gravel on the roof crunched under my feet as I walked over the ledge and sat down against the wall. The ominous glow of the parking light casted shadows across the roof as a gust of wind blew making me shiver and hug my arms as I looked out over the parking lot.
The gravel behind me crunched as I sat and looked out. I glanced behind me as Patrick climbed up on the ledge and sat down beside me.
"Why are you here?" I spat angrily as I looked the other way.
"I didn't just come to see Chloe." He coughed.
"Oh?" I said pretending to care.
"I wanted to see you too." His voice was small like he was dreading what I was gonna say next.
"Really?" I said as his words clouded my judgment.
"Yeah." He said refusing to look at me.
"Why did you cheat on me?" I asked as I looked out over the parking lot too.
"You were focusing so much on Chloe and your writing that I felt like I was being left behind."
"Oh Patrick." I sighed. "Why would you think I'd leave you behind?"
"I don't know." He sighed and turned back to me. "I just felt that way."
"Was there anything I could have done to stop it?" I asked biting my lip.
"No, it was my inferiority complex that got to me."
"Oh." I said quietly. "Listen did I even tell you I met a guy one of the first days we were there."
"No, you didn't." He said almost angrily.
"Yeah, his name was Mickey."
"Why are you telling me this?!" He spat suddenly making me stop and look down.
"I thought you should know!" I said back.
"Yeah, well I don't." He said balling his fists.
"God Patrick, leave it to you to kill an apology." I sighed getting up and jumping off the ledge onto the roof.
"Where are you going?" He called after me.
"Away." I said over my shoulder as I went down the steps and got back in my car.
I stuck a CD in the stereo and turned the volume to where it was almost busting the speakers, rammed my foot against the gas and took off to home. When I got home it was quiet and Patrick still wasn't in. I took that as an advantage as I strolled into the kitchen, grabbed a cup of water and something to eat.
I quickly ate and went to bed knowing tomorrow was gonna be a bitch.