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Disclaimer
... bla bla bla... I don't own the characters... I'd have more money if I did... etc, etc... you've heard it all before. Oh ya, I don't own the song either, but for the sake of this story let's say Ron wrote it.

Scars

I watched the crowd with trepidation. The crowd was large, some watched the stage with interest and others looked to be in physical pain. It was bad enough the girl was singing some teenybopper pop crap, they were singing off key to boot. I ignored her and the audience as best I could. My only interest was in one person in that room and there she sits front row centre. Kim Possible.

It was midway through senior year and time for the annual student talent show. This would be the second time that I would be performing in it. Last time was a stall tactic for Kim, who is not participating this year, to get there to perform her song. Believe it or not I had won that year for, as Mr. Barkin put it, 'proving quantity really is better than quality'.

This year I have an altogether different motivation. As Malcolm takes the stage performing the most famous of soliloquies from Hamlet I still can't take my eyes off Kim. I have tried to tell her. So many times it hurts. Each time she never took me seriously or was busy with the cheerleaders or Josh.

Now I will have her undivided attention. I hope.

The crowd rose in applause to the amazing performance that Malcolm had just gave them. As he walks offstage he gives me a friendly smile and thumbs up. With an audible gulp I stand from my seat. I'm on next.

I walk on the stage with deliberate steps and a confidence that I don't really feel. Some of my classmates in the audience have already begun to boo before I even get to the microphone. Typical, I'm not exactly mister popular and I don't exactly care either. My eyes lock with Kim's as I reach the mic. She smiles at me, I don't smile back.

The electric guitar strikes a note, the sound reverberating through the room from the speakers, signalling to me that my music has been queued. As the song starts I begin to sing.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

We've been best friends for so long, Kim and I, but I know we aren't anymore. She's changed over the past couple of years. She doesn't really notice but I do. Kim's become so far removed from the vibrant, compassionate girl I had a crush on back in the day. Now with each passing day she becomes more like Bonnie and the other sheep. Shallow.

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
Your making me insane
All I can say is

We almost never speak these days. Something else I don't think she's noticed. She'll pass me in the halls without so much as a hello or a second glance. Hell, even a first glance for that matter. Whenever I try to talk to her Kim's always got something to do or one of her popular friends interrupts and I'm quickly forgotten.

In fact, the only time we seem to talk anymore is when she has a problem. She still comes to me with those. Though nowadays they're usually of her own making. I make her feel better is what she told me. That I'm the only one who can really make her laugh and forget all her problems. I take Kim's pain away, but what about mine? She's never there for that.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

There was one time where I really confronted her about it. Well, there were many times but those always got interrupted. This time we didn't. I told her what I'd seen in her, how she was becoming more and more like those people we use to laugh about and swear we would never be. All she did was laugh at the notion and tell me I didn't know what I was talking about. That I was seeing things that weren't there.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand

You fix yourself

It was shortly after that I came to a revelation. I'm not sure if I'm glad or saddened that I did. They say ignorance is bliss after all right? I'd caught sight of Kim walking to her next class and some freshman had bumped into her. One of her books was knocked to the ground and Kim just laid into the poor guy. That was when all the little things she'd done fell into place and I realized something. I couldn't get my Kim back. This was who my Kim was now.

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

So now I'm done. I can't go through this anymore. Kim keeps saying, on the few occasions I get to speak with her, that we are now and always will be best friends. She's wrong. We haven't been friends, yet alone best friends, for a while now. I just can't pretend any different anymore.

I need to move on. I'm sorry Kim. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I need to make a life for myself now.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

As I end the song my eyes are still locked with Kim's, having never left. Applause explode through the packed gymnasium and for the first time people are seeing me with awe and respect. I don't care in the least. The look on Kim's face is what has my attention.

She knows it was about her. The shock on her face and the single tear rolling down her cheek is evidence enough. Good, maybe it will be enough to make her face the truth. Maybe even make an effort to change. I think most of the other students and parents have made the connection too. From the corner of my eye I can see them looking between us. I still don't care.

Kim's mouth moves as tears begin to fall freely. No sound comes out but it's easy enough for me to read the word. The silent plea. "No."

I shake my head and speak into the mic. "Goodbye Kim."

With that I turn and walk off the stage. I don't care who wins the competition. I did what I came to do. Do I know where I'm going to go from here? No, not for sure. But I do know one thing. I'm going to move on with my own life.


Not what you were expecting was it? The song is called "Scars" by Papa Roach. I just bought the cd and this song just hit me. For some reason this situation came to mind while listening to it and I felt compelled to write. Hope you enjoyed it.