FicWad

Not that I slept much anyway. My mind was in turmoil, trying to figure out everything. To be honest, I didn't fancy being babied by Donna - as much as I enjoy it every so often, a week of it would kill me, let alone the three the tour was going to take.

I had figured it out in the small hours of the morning - stay with Jacquelyn. I'd have to put up with Mary, yes, but it'd be better than being watched over like a hawk. She'd try to make sure I ate too, but without ramming the food down my throat. Everything seemed like it would be so much better if I went to stay with Jacquelyn.

I decided this not long after my alarm had started to ring. I can sleep through my own alarm, as can Gerard - he blames the bed.

I rolled over, feeling my body complain at being moved. I cursed silently, wondering what was wrong with me, when it clicked - lack of food. I'd barely eaten fruit and veg, so it was no wonder I felt like I was starting to fall apart.

I was suddenly quite happy to not be going on the tour.

Pulling my hand from beneath the covers, I attempted to wake Gerard. Shaking him, as normal, had very little effect on him, just caused him to roll over and take the cover with him - leaving me very cold.

I grunted and pushed myself up into a kneeling position, looking down at him and shaking my head.

I was glad his hair hadn't been cut any shorter - I still had enough to yank at in an attempt to wake him.

He groaned and rolled onto his back, eyes fluttering open as I attempted to grab another bunch of hair and pull. He rolled his eyes and moved his head, struggling for a moment to pull his hands out of his duvet cover cocoon.

"Gerard?" I croaked sleepily while he stretched his hands above his head. He grunted to tell me he was listening. "Would be okay if...I stayed with Jacquelyn instead of you parents?" He yawned, resting his arms finally before brushing strands of hair out of my face.

"I'm not bothered. I told you last night, if you don't want to stay with my parents - don't. As long as you don't stay with any psychopaths," I thought for a moment. Could I consider Mary a psychopath? Or just a girl who, as Jacquelyn had informed me, had very strong emotions and was prone to drinking when depressed?

I went with the second one, aware that if I believed Jacquelyn to be a psychopath, it'd show.

I smiled warily.

"No psychopaths, just Jacquelyn," He frowned.

"And...?" I blinked, dumbfounded. Either I'd said it in a suspicious manner, or he was getting good at telling what I was thinking.

"And...?" He stared up at me, obviously not convinced that 'just Jacquelyn' was true. "Fine - I'll probably see a fair bit of Mary too," For a moment, it was clear this troubled him somewhat, but as quick as I could spot it, he was smiling up at me.

"That's fine - what problem would I have with Mary?" I knew I probably looked disbelieving of him, but I smiled none-the-less.

"None,"

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So, after a lot of talking and agreement with Gerard's parents - it was decided they'd check up on me every Saturday at Jacquelyn's.

Yippee.

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I then got the pleasure of watching them leave. I swear Mikey's head wasn't screwed on right the morning he suggested it.

"Take care of yourself," Mikey mumbled into my hair, arms securely around my shoulders as he gave me a goodbye hug.

"You too," I mumbled back, taking a step away from him. Not exactly unexpected, but I still squealed as Frank's arms appeared around my waist and lifted me off the floor.

"I wish you the best of luck...just watch out for that mousy friend of yours," He whispered into my ear before setting me down. My eyes slid to Jacquelyn and Mary on the other side of the road. Jacquelyn was smiling broadly, whilst Mary looked like she'd just bitten into a god damned lemon.

Mary seemed to have made at least half an attempt to tame the puff of hair atop her head. It reminded me somewhat of Ray's hair, but even when she hadn't tried to de-frizz it, it wasn't anywhere near as big as his.

It wasn't made any better by her frail form, though. She was thin, thinner than I was, but a bit heavier I would of said. Her dark eyes were settled firmly on Gerard, who was leaning against the side of Frank's car.

I felt a sudden urge to gauge her eyes out.

Frank's arms released me and I was rounded on by Ray and Bob, who I permitted to tell me just this once to take care of myself, get rest and eat. I patted Ray's Afro lovingly before smiling at Bob.

After they cleared off, I stood there. Following a few moments of listening to the birds, my eyes found Gerard's, still leaning against the car.

He stood off it and plodded over, arms folded in the cold. He looked at me.

"You gonna be okay?"

"It's gonna be hard having such a long time without any of you..." I smiled breifly. "But I'll manage," In the blink of an eye, his arms were wound tightly around my waist and his head was buried in the crook of my neck.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much," I smiled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and hugging him briefly before pulling him away from me. I smiled.

"Go on, before you change your mind about me staying," I ordered, breath starting to form a mist in front of me. He nodded, eyes lingering on me slightly as he turned and headed for the car, opening the door and sliding himself in.

I moved closer to the road as both cars they were using as transport pulled off, waving.

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Jacquelyn's apartment was on the fourth floor. A fairly simple layout - you entered into the living room, the kitchen around the corner to the right. To the left there was a small hall with the two bedrooms off doors to the right with the bathroom at the end of it.

The living room was painted blue with grey floors. It had a very minimalist feel to it. There was obviously nothing in there that wasn't needed; just the sofa, TV, phone, the bookshelf and a few pictures here and there.

The first thing I did after following Jacquelyn in was to plod over and collapse on the white sofa.

Mary followed suit. She sat at the opposite end to me...and just stared at me.

I kept reminding myself that she was Jacquelyn's friend and to not upset her.

The night was spent in silence. I didn't feel like talking and Mary was too busy staring down my ear to pay much attention to the fact that Jacquelyn was at least trying to make conversation.

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I woke the next morning safe in the knowledge Mary had actually gone home last night.

I looked around at my room. The walls were a coffee colour, and the carpet a deep cream. The wardrobe was a varnished ebony colour, as was the bed. The sheets were cream and the brown curtains gave everything a hazy layer of yellow.

I forced myself to get out of bed after lying there for a few hours. I didn't want to leave, knowing the only thing I had to look forward to was the appearance of Mary at some point, whether that day or the next.

I grabbed my dressing gown from the floor, it's belt through it's hoops again (no longer being used as belt for my trousers) and slid it on, padding out of the room.
Yawning on my way, I waddled down the hall and to the door into the kitchen.

If I'd been carrying anything, I'd have dropped it.

There, sat having breakfast at the table, was Mary.

"Morning sunshine! Sit, eat!" Prompted Jacquelyn, motioning to the seat opposite Mary in the show room like kitchen.

I thought I'd gotten away with it and Mary wouldn't look at me today, but as I lowered myself into my seat, her eyes came up from her cereal and landed on me. Jacquelyn shoved a bowl of some shitty cereal in front of me and I smiled up at her.

Still, Mary was staring. I looked at her slowly, un-nerved about the fact that she seemed to love me so much she couldn't tear her eyes from me.

Or hate me.

Still she ate, spoon moving up and down methodically, but her eyes never left me.

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"Sam, you're not leaving until you eat," Jacquelyn disciplined as she eyed my untouched cereal. "Me and Mary are going shopping - we're taking the keys and not coming back until you phone and say you've done," She told me, slapping a phone number down on the table.

I turned to watch her leave, Mary in tow.

I could have sworn she smiled at me as she turned the corner.

I sighed as I heard the door open and close, followed by the sound of it being locked. I looked down at my bowl and, begrudgingly, picked it up. Wandering over to the sink, I lifted it to my lips and attempted to down it as quick as possible.

Eating just wasn't on my agenda.

I got half way through the bowl before my stomach started to complain. I felt my throat contract and hastily put the bowl down before retching.

'Nope, definitely not putting food on my list of things to do,' I thought to myself.

'Fine, don't put it on, but if you don't you never will. And then who's going to be in trouble?' I groaned, seriously considering swatting my own head in an attempt to get my morning voice to shut up.

Instead, I stood straight, the feeling of nausea passing, and headed for the coffee machine.

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I never ate the rest of the cereal, just poured it down the sink. Didn't ring Jacquelyn to tell her I'd 'finished' my breakfast, and only managed a few slices of bread for dinner.

By the time they came back, I was lounging around in my room, homesick. Not homesick for home, home, but homesick for the tour bus. I must have been going mad - I was missing the grotty, dirt-ridden bus that we spent weeks upon weeks in; not washing and doing god only knows what in.

No one bothered me until tea, when Mary kindly dropped by to leave a plate of food by my bed before leaving. By now, I was freaked. She was smiling like a madwoman - grinning maliciously down at me. I didn't have to look at her directly to tell.