FicWad

Ava took her usual seat on the couch across from Dr. Heinrich who lowered himself into a plush leather chair that had to price well over a thousand dollars. Everything in his office was immaculate and well-placed, causing Ava to wonder just how much money this was actually costing Matthew to send her here. She had offered to see someone on the less-pricy side of the spectrum, but he wouldn't hear of it.

"So," He started casually, placing a hand on each arm rest. "What can I help you with today, Ava?"

She sighed, trying to get comfortable. She didn't exactly hate going to counseling, but it ranked right up there with the dentist... sometimes life was painful. "I just got out of the hospital a couple days ago because I had a few spider bites that had to be taken care of." She started, going for the least stressful of her issues. "I think someone put them in my apartment on purpose but I'm not really sure why; I don't have any enemies as far as I'm aware." Ava tucked her feet under her legs, trying to make herself as small as possible. She hated talking about these sorts of things, but since that was really the only thing going on in her life she didn't think she had a choice in the matter. Everything else was trivial in comparison.

"I don't know why these things keep happening to me, but they do. First the shooting and the explosion, and now this." She twisted in circles the little coral thumb ring she bought at the beach the last time she was there, giving her hands something to do while she talked. "It feels so unreal, like I'm watching from the distance and these things are no longer happening to me, but to someone else."

Dr. Heinrich nodded, leaning forward in his seat so that he was sitting almost at a forty- five degree angle. Ava wondered if this was one of the counseling techniques he learned in graduate school or if he was honestly that interested in what she was saying.

"It sounds to me," He began, using his hands to exaggerate his enthusiasm, "that since these attempts on your life, you feel like maybe you've done something to cause it to happen; however, you can't think of what that could be or who would want to do something like that."

"Right." Ava nodded. "But it isn't just that. I'm feeling completely helpless. I don't have a job so I'm having to take money from Matthew which I absolutely hate to do. I've been independent since I was sixteen years old. I don't want to be reliant on anyone if I can help it." The good doctor nodded in understanding, encouraging Ava to continue with her story. "And now I'm talking to this new guy, Patrick..." She shook her head, not really knowing how best to describe their strange relationship. "I think he feels like it's his job to take care of me, too when all I really want is for everything to go back to the way it was before: me supporting myself." She sighed, resting her head in her palm. "But that was before Wendy died. I don't think I'll ever be able to be back to that again."

"If I'm understanding correctly, you're feeling like these men- Matthew and Patrick are in a sense, taking over your life by providing you with funds while you are out of work, but in reality you would rather be on your own financially..."

"Exactly." I nodded, "But it isn't just that... I need to feel in control again, and I'm not sure that is going to happen any time soon."

"And you think being financially independent will help you regain some of that lost control..."

"Yes, something like that." She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "I think I need to start writing again, but I'm not sure if I can with Wendy's death still so fresh in my mind."

"Sounds like a problem."

Ava gave him a nervous laugh. "Unless I wrote about /that/. It always helps to pull from personal experiences."

"I've heard that helps."





*






Ava flicked through the pages of her newly acquired Victoria's Secret magazine, silently cursing the perfect bodies of the women in the pictures. They were all tall and curvy with long flowing hair. It was something Ava had always wished she could be but didn't actually put any effort into accomplishing. Countless hours in a gym, a boob job, and hundreds of dollars in hair care products just didn't appeal to her. Well, okay, maybe it DID appeal, it just wasn't practical. Of course, she couldn't imagine herself ever looking like those women.

She smiled to herself. Maybe if she spent $60 on a bra she would appear like them... all glamorous and breasty...

Yeah right.

Ava leaned back on her sofa, snapping the magazine shut, but leaving it clearly within view on her coffee table. Maybe she should post the pictures around her apartment so the next time she even thought about that double chocolate chip cookie mix in her refrigerator she would steer clear. She smiled, certain such an act would convince her never to eat again.

Within minutes, scotch tape in hand, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Gisele Bundchen, and Karolina Kurkova began to fill the uncovered walls of her apartment.

If anyone asked her what she wanted most in the world at this exact moment she would answer them with 'legs that go on forever'. She was also starting to wish she was from some exotic country... good ol' American girls just weren't sexy anymore. One had to be from somewhere like Brazil, Germany, or Australia to gain wings.

Ava stood back to look at her handiwork, positive this act would help her lost that extra five pounds she was trying to get rid of around her midsection. Love handles were just not attractive on girls...

... boys on the other hand...

Ava let her mind wonder where it may for a moment before snapping back to reality with the loud tap that came from her front door. She frowned, moving slowly to peek through the little glass hole, even though she was sure a murderer wouldn't waste time with knocking.

Warner. One of the three guys that occupied the apartment directly below her.

This could only mean one thing.

"Hey, Ava!" Warner said cheerfully as she swung the door open just enough for her body to fit through. If she invited him in, her grocery supply would diminish in an instant before her very eyes.

"Warner." She smiled up at the college senior, wishing she could go back to those days. Ava had forced herself to graduate a year early from college, not able to afford all four years, but crammed extra classes into each semester to help with the cost. It paid off, though, by saving her a good ten thousand dollars. On the bad side, it also took a year away from her not having to stress about work and finding a job- student loans are amazing while you aren't paying them. "What brings you up my way?"

He leaned his body against her door, giving her a heart-warming smile she had seen him use on dozens of different girls over the years. "We're throwing a party at our place tonight and thought you might want to join in the fun."

Oh joy.

She would never get any sleep tonight.

Ava snapped her fingers in fake disappointment. "I'm sorry, I have this... thing... It's really important or I would absolutely love to do nothing else but get completely wasted with you boys."

He missed her sarcasm. "Oh, come on Ava. You need to loosen up... have a bit of fun."

"I don't think so, Warner."

He gave her what she assumed was his 'sexy face' but it luckily had absolutely no effect on her. "I'll make sure you have a good time." He lowered his voice and she cocked one eyebrow, "I can make sure we both have a good time."

Ava coughed to hide her surprise. "Oh, I'm sure, but like I said," She restated her argument, "I have this really important... thing."

He leaned in slightly, crowding her personal space and she quickly backed away, opening her door behind her as an escape.

"Well, have fun tonight." She said quickly, fleeing to the safety of her apartment. "I'll see you around!" Slamming the door shut, she locked it back in place.

"Uh, bye!" He called. "Come down if you get bored."

Ava rolled her eyes. In ten minutes he'd be flirting up the next unsuspecting girl on his list.






*







Ava could clearly hear the music pounding in a steady rhythm beneath her making it even harder than usual to focus on what she was trying to do. In front of her she had the stacks of print-offs from the library sitting in neat little piles.

And nothing made any sense.

Wendy's parents were dead. There was no possible way for her father to obtain her ashes. Random options of how that could have happened kept spinning through her head, yet none were actually helpful. Maybe she was actually adopted and just didn't tell anyone? Then her biological father could have taken care of things. But no. According to her birth certificate that was an impossibility.

So then maybe someone posed as her father to get the ashes? But really, why would someone do that? There was no logic behind it unless it was perhaps the murderer who was the imposter- trying to cover up something with the body... but she was /cremated/. Wendy's body was irrevocably destroyed. Clues cannot be found easily in ashes.

Ava groaned, falling back against the fluffy pillows that adorned her bed. She couldn't figure it out. She was trying to solve a mystery even the police- trained professionals- were having problems trying to crack.

"What happened to you, Wendy?" She asked aloud, pulling one of the pillows against her chest for comfort. Now she needed someone to talk to more than ever.

Loud cheers erupted somewhere beneath her as the beat to the music changed, causing everything to rattle in her room at a faster tempo.

What did she do to deserve this?

Nothing came to mind.

Not to even think about the fact that she was/ also/ being spied on. That was most certainly a less than exciting addition to her life- for her anyway.

This last fact puzzled Ava more than almost anything. Her life was basically an open book. What would anyone need to know about her that only spy wear could detect?

It was frustrating to have more questions than actual answers, but Ava was sadly becoming accustomed to the feeling. She was having a hard time keeping herself held together, even if the drugs were actually starting to make a difference with the depression and newfound anxiety. She wondered if Dr. Heinrich would be forced to prescribe her something a bit stronger before this mess was over, making her go into that familiar zombie-like state seen in many people who struggle with depression. She didn't want to be one of them.

Ava groaned, covering her head with the little pillow. She didn't want to be confused anymore. What she needed was a nice, normal life, but she doubted that would be happening anytime soon.

Slowly, she crawled from her bed, making her way over to her closet. If she wanted a normal life, then she was going to have to take the necessary steps to achieve that goal. That started with acting like a twenty-one year old; and twenty-one year olds were not alone on a Saturday night being depressed in their apartment. They were out somewhere having fun.

Content with her decision she pulled out her favorite jeans, and pared that with a sleeveless black shirt that fell just past her hips and little red ballet flats. She really didn't care much for getting all dressed up- especially where she was going. After all, she didn't exactly want the attention. She just needed a little fun... in the form of alcohol if possible.

Smiling to herself she locked her front door and took the steps two at a time down to Warner's apartment, fully prepared to leave early if he noticed she came all by herself.

"Hey Ava!" A familiar voice called as soon as she entered the crowded apartment. No wonder it was so loud a floor up.

"Oh, hello Brian." She said, turning to the shy accounting major.

"We're not keeping you up are we?" He asked politely, a worried expression crossing his face, and motioned for her to come further into the room. He was not one of the three who actually lived here, but was over enough to have some idea who she was.

"Oh, no." Ava shook her head. "I just came down to hang out for a bit."

Brian's worry faded. "Great!" He gently put a hand on the small of her back, ushering her into the kitchen area. "We have a keg on the back porch..." His voice lowered to a whisper, "...and some liquor under the sink if that's your thing."

Ava laughed. "Thanks, Brian... I think it is!"




Two hours later...




Ava had no idea why anyone in the world was ever upset... everything was just too funny to be depressing. Quickly, she turned to the tiny brunette she now sat beside intending to tell her this new way of thinking. As she moved, little streaks of color blurred her vision, causing a giggle to escape her throat. She was past the point of being trashed.

"You know..." This new person, Courtney said, placing a hand on Ava's leg. She was pretty sure she had never met the girl before in her life, but they were quickly becoming best friends. "I think Warner likes you..."

Her words were slurred as she spoke, but that just made Ava giggle even harder. "You know... I think you're right."

Her brows furrowed, disappointed. "That makes me sad, Ava. I like Warner."

She took both of her hands and placed them on both sides of the girl's face. "You like Warner?" Her voice was high with surprise. What was a nice girl like Courtney doing crushing on a man whore like that? "You can have him, Court. I already have a guy to like. A guy who doesn't like you" For some reason, that last bit held some sort of significance that Ava was only too happy to share.

"Really?" Her eyes widened, excited at whatever Ava had just said. "That's so fun!"

Ava readily nodded, making herself even dizzier. "I know!"

"Ava!" Brian called, a smile plastered across his face. He came and kneeled down in front of her, an open bottle of tequila in his hand.

"Brian!" She said back with equal enthusiasm, throwing her arms around him in a hug.

"Ava," He said again, his voice going all serious causing both girls to erupt in a fit of laughter.

Courtney leaned forward on her elbows, putting herself right in Brian's face. "You don't like Ava, too, do you?" She asked with saucer shaped eyes, "Everyone is in love with Ava now."

"No no no." He waved the bottle a bit too forcefully, causing some of the liquid to splash on Ava's arm. Promptly she licked it off, taking the entire thing from Brian and taking a swig before returning it to its owner. She laughed as it burned down her throat. She was way past the point of needing a chaser. "I'm so glad you are fun, Ava!" He said again. "We were afraid that you would be a... a..." he frowned, searching for a word, "... a prude and call the cops. But you're cool!"

Ava threw her hands in the air. "I know!"

"I'm hungry." Courtney whispered loudly in her ear.

"Me too." Searching her brain, she tried to find a solution for this dilemma. "We need food!"

"I know." The brunette agreed readily.

"I have an apartment." It was as if all their prayers had been answered. "I have food up there!"

"You /do/?"

Ava nodded, excitedly standing. "I'll bring some back, ok?"

Her new friend held her hand, swinging it back and forth as if it were some sort of game. "You have to come back, okay?" She asked. "I'll miss you, Ava!"

"I'll miss you too, Courtney!"

Ava walked unsteadily to the door and began climbing the steps on her hands and knees, laughing the entire way. It was like mountain climbing, and she could just imagine it. Pretending the handrail was the rope she pulled her way up the remainder of the stairs, going back to her hands and knees as soon as she reached the landing.

"Ava?"

She jerked her head up to see the speaker, instantly regretting her sudden move. "Patrick?"

Unsteadily, she pulled herself to her feet, laughing at her inability to see straight.

"Oh my god, Patrick..." She glanced to her left and right. "Did they invite you to the party, too? It's downstairs, silly..."

"Are you /drunk/?"

"Noooooo." She shook her head 'yes' and placed her finger to her lips so he would know it's a secret. "Shh... don't tell."

He gave her that crooked grin that made her heart practically stop beating. "Now, what did I do with my keys?" She patted her front pockets, then looked over her shoulder to try and see the ones behind her, turning in a little circle like a dog trying to chase its tail.

Only she wasn't as coordinated as a dog because before she even knew she was falling she felt strong arms holding her up. "Did you find my keys?" She asked him, her head resting on his shoulder.

He dangled the little keychain in front of her. "Where did you get those?"

"They were clipped on your belt loop, sweetie."

"Aww." She said pulling her arms around his waist. "You called me sweetie. You're so cute, Patrick."

He chuckled, using her key to open her door. With some effort he managed to tote her inside along with two other bags he had sitting outside the door.

"What are you doing here, Patty? Pattie Cakes?" She giggled, this of course, was beyond hilarious.

He pushed her down onto the couch, taking the seat beside her, but still giving Ava some space. Only, Ava didn't want any room. She scooted over until she was leaned up against him, one hand on his chest, the other playing with the hair at the base of his skull.

Ava was beginning to think he wasn't going to answer, but after a few moments he let out a shaky breath. "I missed you." He said simply. "We had a couple days of freedom from the tour so I flew down."

She smiled, kissing the skin on his arm right below his sleeve. "I missed you, too." She sighed, thinking back to the party. "You don't like Courtney, do you?"

"What? Who's Courtney?"

Ava punched him lightly on the shoulder. "You know... she's little with brown hair..." Ava cocked one eyebrow, as if that explanation should be a dead giveaway.

"Um, no?"

"Good, that's what I told her. I said she could have Warner because you didn't like /her/."

"Who's Warner?" He frowned, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Eh," Ava waved her hand dismissively, "just this guy who lives below me. Courtney likes him."

"Right."

"But I told her I like /you/."

Ava heard Patrick laugh deep in his throat as he kissed the top of her head. "I wish you were sober."

Ava looked shocked, pulling away from him. "I am sober."

Patrick shook his head. "No, you most definitely are not."

"Fine." She sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "But that really doesn't matter, you know. I would tell her that even if I didn't drink anything."

"Um hum." It was evident he didn't believe what she was saying but sitting so still was beginning to make her tired. "You need to go to bed."

"No." She murmured against his chest.

"Yes." He stood, scooping her up in his arms and she went willingly enough. "And why do you have pictures of half naked girls all over your walls?" He referred to the Victoria's Secret models.

Ava gasped, trying to sit up causing Patrick to stumble and almost drop her. "Oh, no! You weren't supposed to see those!" She covered her mouth with her hand, a blush beginning to creep along her neck. "I just put those up today to make me not eat so much. It's a form of diet I suppose."

"You're kidding." He dropped her unceremoniously on the bed in the center of her room. "You're perfect, you shouldn't be dieting... not that you're going to remember what I'm saying, so I guess it really doesn't matter..."

He started to walk away, but she jerked up and grabbed his hand. "Stay with me, okay?"

"Ava, you're drunk. I don't think that's a good idea."

"What? You think I'll force myself on you in this state of mind?"

Patrick smiled, sitting on the edge of her bed. "No, I'm afraid I'll end up doing something you'll regret tomorrow. You're not thinking clearly."

Ava trailed her fingers down the side of his face. "I won't regret a thing, Patrick." He groaned as she leaned in, placing soft kisses where her fingers had traveled. He tilted his head just slightly enough for her to reach his lips as the alarm began to sound.

Ava shot back, her heart beating faster as the noise wailed through the building. "What the hell?" She asked angrily, just as the sprinklers in her room went off, covering everything with water.

/Fire/.

____________________________________________

Be gentle... I warned you all (okay, maybe it wasn't so much of a warning as just giving information) that Ava acted like a kid when she was drunk. But still, I kept writing this chapter and re-writing it over and over again, so finally, I just decided to post my last bit. I don't know why it was so difficult this time. AND I know there isn't as much detail during the drunk part... while it is written in third person, it still follows Ava around and she was completely oblivious to what was going on so I doubt she'd realize any detail. I don't know how to explain it.

Anyway, I should be back on track now that this chapter is over. I hope you liked it. Review PLEASE!