Categories > Books > Cirque du Freak > WHAT IF????
CHAVTASTIC
5 reviewsWHAT IF THE VAMPANEZE WERE CHAVS? WHAT IF DARREN WAS A GIRL? WHAT IF LARTEN WAS A COWBOY? E FEW SMALL STORIES
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YO PEEPS IN SCOTLAND!!! YO PEEPS NOT IN SCOTLAND!!! YO!!! READ MY STORY AND ENJOY THE FUNNYNESS.
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING MR SHAN WISE
OK!
PICTURE THIS;
THE VAMPANEZE ARE FEMALE CHAVS (NEDS)
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE THE SIMILARITIES.
THE VAMPANEZE HAVE PURPLE FACES THE CHAVS HAVE ORANGE FACES
THE VAMPANEZE HAVE WEIRD HAIR THE CHAVS HAVE WEIRD HAIR
VAMPANEZE HAVE RED NAILS THE CHAVS PAINT THEIR NAILS
VAMPANEZE SMOKE MOST CHAVS SMOKE
RIGHT, THE VAMPANEZE ARE IN THE CAVE THAT FEATURES IN MR SHANS 5TH AND 6TH BOOKS. THEY ARE HANGIN OUT AND HAVIN A LAUGH. THERE ARE ABOUT EIGHT OF THEM.
VAMPANEZE 1 WHOS NAME IS MATILDA IS SITTING HAVING A GOOD UNHEALHY FAG. CARA (NUMBER 2) COMES AND JOINS HER.
"HIYA!CARASAYS HGGING MATILDA TIGHTLY
IN THE CORNER A FEW MORE CHAVS ARE APPLYING THEIR FOUNDATION.
"OH NO!" SAYS EMILY "IVE RAN OUT OF MY FAVOURITE SHADE OF ORANGE!"
"BUT I ONLY GAVE YOU IT YESTERDAY" SAYS THE LESS CHAVY KATIE
"YEAH AND?" EMILY ASKS " I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT TO BE A CHAV YOU HAVE TO WEAR LIKE THREEE THOUSAND LAYERS OF REALLY ORANGE FOUNDATION!"
"HEY GUYS!" COMES A SHOUT FROM THE DOOR "LOOK WHAT I GOT US!"
IT WAS DARREN SHAN, THE CHAV QUEEN, AND HE WAS CARRYING LOADS OF BURBERY AND FRED PERRY CLOTHES AND (GULP) THIRTY PAIRS OF ......... K SWISS SHOES
THE CHAVS SWARMED OVER DARREN AND NICKED ALL OF THE STUFF. WHEN DARREN SURFACED HIS FOUDATION WAS ALL IN LINES AND HIS MP3 PLAYER PLAYING DJ RANKIN WAS GONE. THE CHAVS HAD STRUCK AGAIN
HE STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE OF HIS MP3 PLAYER. THE CHAVS LOOKED OVER AND NOTICED A SMALL BADGE ON HIS SHIRT SAYING '14 TODAY'. THEY GIGGLED AND BOMBARDED HIM WITH JUICE AND CURRY AND FLOUR
IT WAS GONNA BE A LONG NIGHT IN THE CHAVTASTIC CAVE!!!!!!
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK PLEASE REVIEW
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING MR SHAN WISE
OK!
PICTURE THIS;
THE VAMPANEZE ARE FEMALE CHAVS (NEDS)
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE THE SIMILARITIES.
THE VAMPANEZE HAVE PURPLE FACES THE CHAVS HAVE ORANGE FACES
THE VAMPANEZE HAVE WEIRD HAIR THE CHAVS HAVE WEIRD HAIR
VAMPANEZE HAVE RED NAILS THE CHAVS PAINT THEIR NAILS
VAMPANEZE SMOKE MOST CHAVS SMOKE
RIGHT, THE VAMPANEZE ARE IN THE CAVE THAT FEATURES IN MR SHANS 5TH AND 6TH BOOKS. THEY ARE HANGIN OUT AND HAVIN A LAUGH. THERE ARE ABOUT EIGHT OF THEM.
VAMPANEZE 1 WHOS NAME IS MATILDA IS SITTING HAVING A GOOD UNHEALHY FAG. CARA (NUMBER 2) COMES AND JOINS HER.
"HIYA!CARASAYS HGGING MATILDA TIGHTLY
IN THE CORNER A FEW MORE CHAVS ARE APPLYING THEIR FOUNDATION.
"OH NO!" SAYS EMILY "IVE RAN OUT OF MY FAVOURITE SHADE OF ORANGE!"
"BUT I ONLY GAVE YOU IT YESTERDAY" SAYS THE LESS CHAVY KATIE
"YEAH AND?" EMILY ASKS " I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT TO BE A CHAV YOU HAVE TO WEAR LIKE THREEE THOUSAND LAYERS OF REALLY ORANGE FOUNDATION!"
"HEY GUYS!" COMES A SHOUT FROM THE DOOR "LOOK WHAT I GOT US!"
IT WAS DARREN SHAN, THE CHAV QUEEN, AND HE WAS CARRYING LOADS OF BURBERY AND FRED PERRY CLOTHES AND (GULP) THIRTY PAIRS OF ......... K SWISS SHOES
THE CHAVS SWARMED OVER DARREN AND NICKED ALL OF THE STUFF. WHEN DARREN SURFACED HIS FOUDATION WAS ALL IN LINES AND HIS MP3 PLAYER PLAYING DJ RANKIN WAS GONE. THE CHAVS HAD STRUCK AGAIN
HE STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE OF HIS MP3 PLAYER. THE CHAVS LOOKED OVER AND NOTICED A SMALL BADGE ON HIS SHIRT SAYING '14 TODAY'. THEY GIGGLED AND BOMBARDED HIM WITH JUICE AND CURRY AND FLOUR
IT WAS GONNA BE A LONG NIGHT IN THE CHAVTASTIC CAVE!!!!!!
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK PLEASE REVIEW
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