Sara sat on the grass verge opposite the parking bay that the bus was parked in. I watched as the cool British air travelled across her cheeks drying the remnants of her false tears on her skin. She wanted to smile broadly, I could tell, at the misery and strain she had caused but refrained because she knew that Gerard, or someone else, would be watching her through the tainted bus windows. She had to look like she was hurting if she wanted him wrapped round her spiteful finger. I notice everything.
"Is it true?" Gerard's voice was so broken and defeated; I knew it hurt Frank so much that it was partly his fault that it sounded this way. But he had to tell him; it wouldn't have been fair on Gerard or himself. Plus there was the threat that she could have told first when Frank wasn't there and she'd be free to twist her words against him, making Gerard believe her over his band-mate.
But as it was, that hadn't happened. Frank had cornered Gerard after the show in the dressing room and had asked Paul, a stagehand and friend, to stall her so she didn't make it to the room in time to stop him telling Gerard the truth about what happened.
Gerard is a smart man, an intelligent man. Frank, along with the rest of us, has always admired him for many things, feared him for many things, loved him for many things. But there are some things that just make us want to turn around and scream "Fucking idiot!" in his face. One such thing? Love. He's a sucker for it, and he always picks the wrong girls. The latest? Sara Hafferty, a fallen angel, a demon, a burden to the whole band and a death wish for Gerard. She's caused him nothing but hurt and anguish since she latched on to him. Poor Gerard, he empathizes with anyone and make's their problems his own like he doesn't have enough of them already. He wants to fix Sara, but all she wants to do is hurt him. I'll look out for him no matter what.
That's why I'm watching silently out the tainted windows at her wretched form sitting on the damp grass while I listen to Frank and Gerard's heart-breaking conversation in the bunk area behind me.
"Yes." Frank's voice is almost as flat and sorrowful as Gerard's but not quite, at this moment I don't think anyone could sound as broken as he does. He was getting so much stronger. "Yes it's true." Frank added as if the short pause was enough to make Gerard forget what the answer 'yes' was supposed to mean. I knew Gerard was listening intently to every word though.
"She came on to you? She tried to get you to sleep with her?" his voice was cracking and I could picture the tears rolling down his face even though I was nowhere near enough to see his pained face. It was even more painful to hear because his voice didn't have any hint of surprise or disbelief in it, it was as if he expected nothing better from the woman he 'loved'. The traces of questioning in his words were so fragile that they formed more of a statement.
"Yes." Frank's voice was so hoarse and I could see him too crying, it was unfortunate that she decided to do use him; she knew too well that Frank's an emotional soul and that this would tear him up. Now if she's tried anything like that with Bob, whom I know she would never do because Bob doesn't stand for her shit, she would have caused a lot less torment within the band.
Frank and Gerard went silent so I decided to speak up, "What should happen then, about her?" I didn't hide my disgust at having to talk about her, but the disgust was also because I knew even before I asked it what Gerard's answer would be.
And I was right, I sighed as his small voice quietly whispered to me through the darkness of the stationary bus, "We can't leave her here, we have to at least take her back to the States."
And with that, I found myself leaving the warmth of the bus to stride over to where she was sat and collect her as I had done many times before. I could see the bitch fighting her victorious, deceitful smile as she spotted me walking over to her. She stood up before I even reached her and began walking towards me. When she reached me, still putting on her ridiculous 'hurt' face that only Gerard ever fell for and threw her cold arms around me.
She had decided to storm out only wearing a pair of Gerard's boxers and a strappy vest; she had returned to the bus when Paul wouldn't let her through to our dressing room, and she had gotten herself ready for bed. Of course she didn't get the peaceful sleep she had been expecting, instead she got a full on domestic confrontation with Gerard. A confrontation that ended in her storming out of the bus and sitting on the grass verge crying her highly practiced fake tears and me locking the door behind her. Not that she would have tried to get back in anyway, she was far too dramatic and attention seeking to fold and re-enter the warmth of the bus no matter how cold her scantily-clad body was.
I just knew that she had been sitting on that grass willing herself to become ill so that she could have something else to make Gerard pity her for and then make him forgive her.
I didn't respond to her embrace, apart from the disgusted face I pulled which of course she chose to ignore. I turned to walk back to the bus and she followed grabbing hold of my hand, she leant into my ear and I could feel the smile in her voice, it angered me to the bone, "I'm winning am I not Mikey?"
I pulled my hand from her grip and slapped it across her face. She laughed which, at first, made me angry, but then I realised what I had done. Fuck!
"You're gonna regret that Mikes." She smiled and continued laughing as she walked away towards the bus. What angered me most about her was that she was right...
...She was winning.
I ran out of Ideas (forgot them) for the Eternity stories, so they're on hold for now. But I've started this and I would really appreciate it if people could tell me what they think :)
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