FicWad

Success has made Brendon Urie stupid.

The three of them (Jon, Ryan, and Brendon) were sitting on a couch in front of a middle-aged interviewer asking teenaged questions. She had frowned at the boys as soon as they walked in, and Ryan knew why. She was frowning at their makeup, their tight pants, everything that made them them, everything the world still couldn't quite grasp. She had asked why "the other one" wasn't there, and Ryan had coolly replied that Spencer ("That's his name, by the way.") was feeling sick. She frowned again with a look of contempt. This made Ryan angry and he said, "He doesn't drink" firmly enough to wipe the look right off of her face.

Everything seemed to be going fine. The woman was asking them questions from the station's viewers, and most of the questions directed at Ryan were routine (How was writing the album? What's the most fun about being in a band? Are you and Brendon dating?). Then, they got to the most awkward question the three of them had ever been asked.

"This one's from Georgia in Ohio." The woman laughed at the irony, like she had never heard of someone being named Georgia or the fact that they probably weren't from the state of the same name unless her mother had been high when she gave birth. Ryan rolled his eyes, but tucked away the subject in his memory. Maybe he'd write a song about Georgia from Georgia with the high mother and the drunk father and about her hopelessness. To that, he could relate, at least to the part about the father, and sometimes, the hopelessness too.

"If you had to marry one of your band mates, who would it be, and why?"

Ryan choked on his water, "Excuse me?"

The woman's eyes widened as she prepared her notebook. She could tell this was a touchy subject.

Luckily, Brendon was Brendon and he smiled, laughing, "I think we'd all say that we'd marry Jon, probably even Jon would prefer to marry himself over any of us. He takes care of us and tells us to pick up our shit like a nagging wife would. Plus, his dick's so small it's practically nonexistent anyway."

Brendon and Jon laughed, Jon punching Brendon on the arm and saying, "Dude, what the fuck? Everyone knows you're the smallest, even Ryan."

Ryan's face grew beet red, and he protested, "I do not know that. Are we done here?"

The woman nodded, horrified at their immaturity, and left the room. Brendon smiled, "Boys will be boys, eh?"

Ryan frowned, "You're an ass. Did you really have to go there? Now, all that article is going to be about is how gay we are."

Brendon turned to face him, "Ryan, that's what every article on us is about. That doesn't make it true, and that doesn't mean that we shouldn't have a little fun. We were just screwing around."

"Yeah, well screwing around won't keep us making records, Brendon, so just think before you talk next time."

"Yes, sir," Brendon said, saluting the boy next to him. He could tell that Ryan still wasn't happy, so he threw his arms around him and hugged him. Jon smiled, "Aw, it's a big gay love fest! Let me in!"

The two of them laughed and Ryan couldn't help but crack a smile at their stupidity. He spoke, "Get off me, you pervs. I need food."

Brendon stood up, skipping out of the room, singing "We're off to see the wizard...!" Ryan laughed as he walked out of the room with Jon. There was something about Brendon and his stupid words that made Ryan forgive him every single time. Ryan wished he could figure out what it was.