in which Molly finishes her break in Chicago and then goes back to New York. No other way to describe it.
"Heyyyy girl. Whatusp? Where have you been?"
"Ok. Well I'm only home for another week so we need to go do girlie things."
"Yea...I dunno. Listen Mol can you do me a favor and come over in a little bit?"
"Yea sure hun, whatsup? You sound weird."
"Nah, I just need to talk to you about something."
"Ok...I just have to finish some stuff up around here. How bout an hour?"
"That works. Bye."
Molly was about to say goodbye herself when she heard the dial tone.
"Ok that was weird." Molly muttered as she put the cell back on the kitchen counter and set about finishing unloading the dishwasher.
An hour later Molly walked up Elyse's front walk and rang the bell. When her friend opened the door and didn't smile Molly got incredibly nervous.
"Lyse? is everything ok?"
"Peachy. Come on in." Elyse responded before turning and walking off towards her bedroom. Molly came in and closed the door behind her before following her friend.
"Uhh...are you sure? Cause you're not exactly acting like yourself." Molly asked when she walked into her friend's bedroom and spotted Elyse sitting crosslegged on the bed.
"What exactly did you say to Patrick the other day?" Elyse finally blurted out after a minute or two.
"Don't play dumb Mol. I don't know what you did THIS time but he was a wreck when I saw him the other day."
"What did I say to him? I told him I loved him and I missed him and I wanted us to get back together."
"WHY would you do that?"
"I repeat...HUH? I thought you wanted us back together."
"No. I want Patrick happy."
"What about me? You don't want me happy? And since when don't I make Patrick happy?"
"I do want you happy; however, at this point being together will not make either of you happy." a few seconds passed without Molly replying so Elyse added quietly, "I also don't think you're in the right mind set to be in a relationship right now."
"The right mindset? what are you talking about?"
"Molly I love you like a sister. But I'm not blind. NONE of us are. You are way too jaded for Patrick, but you try and hide your jaded, and down right depressed life view, behind witty sarcasem and goofy behavior. I don't want you to wreck what is still innocent about him."
"Patrick's innocense was hardly wrecked by me." Molly shot back at her friend, "Remember Allison."
"That's a lot different Molly."
"How is that different? I treated him amazing, I worshiped him."
"And then you dropped him like a bad habit when things were going to get tough. 'cause you couldn't cope with the fall out."
"No. I just wanted him to be able to enjoy being in a band without a girlfriend around."
"And you hide behind this "self sacrificing" facade like you broke up with Patrick FOR Patrick. That's such B.S. Patrick didn't want to "enjoy" his success without a girlfriend around. He wanted you. Key being past tense."
"Oh nice. You know exactly what I'm talking about Molly Anne. If you didn't then you wouldn't have tried to down a bottle of pills almost two years ago. You've known it for a long time. You need help. I don't know WHAT your parents did to you all these years to basically make you believe you have to be miserable to function but whatever it was it was fucked up. I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine. I was even better without you butting your nose in where it didn't belong. Why don't you mind your own business and stay out of mine. Yes I screwed up with Patrick, I admit it ok. But maybe I wasn't wrong. You're all "ooo don't get back with Patrick. You'll hurt him in the long run." But maybe I already decided I don't WANT to be with him."
"Now you're doing it again."
"Doing what? For someone who thinks I need help you sure as hell don't ever get to your point."
"My point? Fine, I'll spell it out for you Molly. You don't like yourself. You don't think you deserve to be happy. So, you present yourself with this devil may care goofball attitude eighty five percent of the time, and the rest of the time you are yourself. And what you are is a scared little girl who never had a healthy parental influence in her life. I don't know why but it HAS to be more then just your mother. And it has completely effected your ability to have a healthy stable relationship. We saw it with Danny and then with Patrick. The reason you and Patrick lasted as long as you did is because you were happy, there wasn't anything difficult going on in either of your lives during those months." Elyse took a deep breath and continued, "You see a speed bump in the road and you run away from it. College was a giant speed bump and you ran. Patrick was getting serious, you were having real feelings for him, so you ran to New York. Deny it all you want but its the truth."
"You don't know what you are talking about. I'm going home now. Feel free to not call me the rest of my break."
Molly stalked out of Elyse's room and down the stairs and kept waiting for her friend to call her back to apologize. Standing by the front door for a few seconds Molly finally walked out the front door and down the walk to head home.
During the rest of her break Molly didn't see any of her friends. Instead she sat at home and stared at the ceiling trying to figure out where she went wrong.
'Maybe Elyse is right.' Molly thought to herself. 'It's not like I've ever even had normal friendships. I always hold something back. But these people are the first I've ever been really open with, and they all hate me now. Thursday, the day before Molly was going to be heading back to New York, while Molly was musing to herself over her problems she knocked a book off her desk and suddenly was struck by a memory.
A fourteen year old Molly looked up from the book she had been reading in her room to see her door fly open. Standing there was her father. Looking very displeased. Molly's first reaction was to throw open her window and scramble out onto the tree outside of it. Instead she just sat there staring. Walking into Molly's room Jack O'Conell looked around. Swiping books and cds off her dresser and onto the floor. He looked back at his daughter before turning to walk out without saying a word. Molly just stared after him before calmly getting up to clean up the mess on the floor.
It was actually that memory that triggered another breakdown for Molly. She spent her last night in Chicago that break crying her eyes out over everything from her borderline abusive father, her neglectful mother, their relationship that taught her exactly how not to be with someone to her possibly non-existant friendship with Elyse.
When Molly finally arrived back in New York she never thought she'd be happier as when she first came back to Manhattan. However, being pretty sure you may have caused all your friends in Chicago to hate you helped the happiness factor rise significantly. When she got back to her dorm Molly flipped on the lights and pouted when she realized that Kyle wasn't back yet. Placing the mail she had picked up downstairs on the kitchen table and her suitcase just inside her bedroom door Molly headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Stopping in front of the mirror Molly stared her reflection up and down a few times before finally just coming to one simple conclusion and then stated it outloud for all of her soaps to hear,
"Fix this. We must fix this."
Molly spent the rest of January getting adjusted to the new semester, trying to avoid a certain Professor, declaring her major officially in the Music Recording program, and allowing herself to let loose and truly enjoy living in New York City. She soon discovered an entire sub culture downtown. People referred to them as "hipsters" or "scenesters" and it seemed to have bad connotations amongst some people, while other people thought they were the coolest set to ever hit the streets. In was in this world that Molly discovered she thrived. The music, the atmosphere, the constant party. Here it was expected that you act aloof, even with your best friends. Here you partied from ten at night until a four in the morning last call. Molly loved it, here all that mattered as three things: Music, Alcohol, and Fashion. She didn't have a past here, no one knew about her problems, all that they cared about was that she was pretty, she had great hair, she liked music and knew how to dress the part.
It was about five in the morning one day during the second week of February when she came in and was shocked to find Kyle already awake and sitting at the kitchen table.
"Morning" Molly muttered as she started to walk towards her room. Kyle's hand on her wrist stopped her short before yanking her into a chair."What the hell?" Molly asked shocked.
"Sit down. It is five a fucking m. Why are you just coming in?"
"'cause I was out. Do you mind?" Molly asked holding up her arm Kyle was still attached to.
"Sorry. Anyway, you have class at ten."
"Yea, and I have 3 hours to get a REM cycle in and then I can get up and get ready and go to class, but you're really cutting into my sleeping time here. Soooooo goodnight." Molly stood up and walked into her room and closed the door jumping when she heard Kyle's slam next to her's.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Not good O'Conell." Molly muttered to herself. "UGH!" She screamed frustratedly in her room. Deciding that despite the obvious fact that she hadn't slept yet she wasn't tired Molly grabbed her stuff to shower. Walking into the bathroom and looking in the mirror she peered closer before sighing and wiping the residual off her nose. Turning on the shower Molly stripped and got under the spray. Twenty minutes later she got back out and quickly brushed and blow dried her short hair before grabbing a robe and going back into her bedroom. Sitting down at her desk Molly quickly and simply re-did her makeup, before going over to her closet and grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Throwing on her underwear and bra she then slipped into the clothes she had picked for the day. Then threw her sneakers on. Looking in her full length mirror Molly apprised herself.
'short, dark brown hair. I'm getting too thin I think too.' Molly turned sideways and pulled at her size eight jeans which should have probably been a six now. Sighing softly Molly grabbed a corderoy miliatry style hat and stuck it on her head, picking up a black hoodie she zipped that up and then slipped on her peacoat and gloves. Looking around for a second and spotting her packed messenger bag Molly picked it up and walked out of the apartment, downstairs and then out of the building. Turning the corner Molly headed towards the twenty four hour coffee shop in their neighborhood.
'Kyle's right. I've been doing too much partying. Time to get some homework done.' Molly thought to herself.
Ten minutes, and a few blocks later, Molly walked into her favorite breakfast place and stopped short when she saw Marc Robinson drinking a cup of coffee and looking over some papers. Since the entire place was empty Molly threw all caution to the wind and approached him.
"Hi." Molly stated simply when she reached the table. Marc looked up and seemed surprised by smiled anyway and gestured to the seat across from him. Molly took off her bag and sat down. Motioning to the waitress for some coffee Molly finally turned to Marc and said, "I'm sorry I was such a bitch. I shouldn't have been ignoring you. I realize I probably gave off the wrong signals."
"Molly don't apologize. I was your professor. If I had been on the outside I would have fired me. Let's ignore it all ok? Your a brilliant girl and I miss having coffee with you. No ulterior motives, let's just have breakfast and talk ok?"
"Sure that sounds good."
"Great. So read any good books lately?" Molly laughed and relaxed as she got caught up in a discussion about eighteenth century literature and its effects on society today over breakfast with a man who was fifteen years her senior, and yet treated her as though she was his equal. And for the first time in a long time Molly realized she felt happy.
A/N: Title is from "Where We Went Wrong" by The Hush Sound. Whom I love more then I can describe. Nicest. People. Ever. (well..Darren and Bob anyway)
I dunno if I love or hate this chapter, I think this is the closest to filler as I can get.