Reviews for Doom :: FicWad: fresh-picked original and fan fiction

Categories > Original > Poetry

Doom

by alloreli 3 reviews

The title is misleading. It makes more sense if you're not very athletic.

Category: Poetry - Rating: G - Genres: Drama - Published: 2007-02-23 - Updated: 2007-02-24 - 108 words - Complete

1Funny

Reviews

Doom

(#) MarkPoa 2007-02-26

That was entirely unexpected that I experienced being first disappointed at the ending, then chuckling to myself.

A better "sound" word may make the poem better... "thunk" doesn't seem to gel properly with the other words you've used.
Author's response
Yes, I do think I need a better sound word. Does "thump" sound any better? I'm not sure....well, if any one has any suggestions to replace "thunk," please tell me! ~alloreli
Doom

(#) MarkPoa 2007-02-26

Hmmm... thump does sound a bit better. It also seems to better mimic the sound better.
Author's response
You're right. I'm gonna go fix it right now.
Doom

(#) Bricougalle_Bug 2007-03-27

Great poem, made me laugh:)
Author's response
I'm glad that at least some people out there have a sense of humor!

Sign up to review this story.