The glass of the shattered mirror above the dresser in my room lay spread across the floor, slight droplets of blood on certain pieces where Sara must have punched it. I like the idea of her getting angry for not having everything go her way, it makes hating her easier. Life would be so much easier without her, that is, if she's actually gone.
My cell phone rang out it's crappy polyphonic ring tune as I gazed around at the mess she'd left in the room while I'd cooped myself up in the safety of the locked bathroom crying my eyes out for an unknown reason. Reluctantly, I answered the call, "Hello?"
"Mikey, where the hell are you? I told you to go to my room like two hours ago before I dropped Sally off, she's back now and you're still not over here." Brian was sounding more worried than angry.
"Oh, I, um...sorry, I didn't sleep so great last night. I kinda dozed off." I stuttered into the phone trying to mask my sniffles by coughing occasionally.
"Are you okay? You sound upset." He asked.
"Yes, I'm fine!" I answered too quickly, "I'm fine."
"Are you in your room?" he still sounded concerned.
"Uh huh." I nodded wiping my nose with the back of my hand.
"Frank's coming over to see you." he hung up and about thirty seconds later, there was a soft knock at the door.
"You wanna go back up to the roof?" Frank smiled sadly as his eyes scanned over the mess that both the room and myself were in.
"Cheers" I thanked him as he passed me a cigarette and his lighter, I sparked up and inhaled the smoke enjoying the relaxing and calming wave that passed over me as it's poison wound it's way down into my lungs and then back up through my nostrils out onto the cold air of the hotel rooftop. I was still crying, tears dropping softly from my blood shot eyes.
I felt Frank's arm coil around my shoulders as he pulled me closer to him, making my tears transform into racking sobs as he rocked me back and forth whispering words that caught on the wind and never quite reached my ears and yet comforted me regardless. "She's...she's gone Frank!" I stammered into his chest. "She's fucking gone and for some....re-reason, I'm fucking devastated!"
"Mikey, she wanted this to happen. She wanted you to be beating yourself up about her. She's fucked up Mikey!" He whispered angrily and I wanted to believe him and feel the same anger that his words were dripping in but I couldn't find the energy, I couldn't make myself.
"She said she loved me." I argued pathetically, laughing slightly through my uncontrollable sobs as I thought about how hopelessly I sounded like Gerard; making excuses for her no matter what it is she's done, just because...just because.
"She didn't love you Mikey! And she sure as hell didn't love Gee!" Frank shook his head and I felt the movement move me slightly making me suddenly embarrassed that I was crying in his arms, but I couldn't stop. He continued to hold me around the shoulders as I cried.
"The only person she cared about was herself..." I murmured, trying to convince myself that I was right to want to hate her.
A softer hand touched my arm from the opposite side of Frank and I turned my head to the direction that the person was standing in, looking up I saw the blurred shape of Sally, "Mikey," she said while continuing to rub my arm soothingly, "this is what she does to people; she fucks with their minds, makes them think they need her, and then she leaves. She needs to hurt people to make herself feel good."
We must have looked odd the three of us sitting up on The Shippington's roof, all clinging tightly to each other as I cried my pathetic little heart out. I don't know how long the moment took to pass, but suddenly I couldn't cry anymore and I moved myself away from Frank and Sally and stood from the ground walking to the door.
I turned as I placed my hand on the door and smiled at the pair, "Thank you."
I cleaned my face up before I finally found myself walking over to Brian's room. I forced myself to knock on the door quickly before my mind could have any chance to stop me. Bob answered with a sympathetic half-smile on his face that made me look past him to where Frank was sat on the double bed, next to Gerard, he shrugged at me slightly.
"Colds suck dude! It's Britain, I'm telling you, everyone of us always gets ill." He shook my shoulders as I walked past him and took a seat next to the TV. Once he had closed the door again, he sat down on the floor next to my feet.
"Right!" Brian clasped his hands together, "We have some issues to sort out." He laughed but it fell flat and so he cleared his throat and continued, "Some magazines have already caught scent of Gee's short stay in jail and of course, they've been informed of the fact that we've had to cancel some shows because of the potential charges that could be brought against him."
I saw Gee shift slightly in his seat on the bed before coughing silently and staring at his feet intently.
"This is going to be hard for you all to hear, but people are saying that Gee's mentally unstable again." Now everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats. "The label are suggesting some more time off so that Gerard makes a full recovery..."
"I have nothing to recover from!" Gee's fists pounded the soft bed. No body was looking at each other, but Gerard's eyes were darting around frantically in search of someone else's. For conformation that he was in fact right, I thought.
"Gerard," Bob, still picking at his laces, began, "Something's up. It may not be that you're...uh, ill, but you've not been yourself lately; you beat Mikey up and you whacked Sally around the face with a microphone for cryin' out loud!"
It happened in a flash; Gee springing from the bed, him pulling Bob up around the collar of his shirt and throwing him against the wall, his fist suspended threateningly in the air next to Bob's stony face. "They fucking deserved it! They hurt Sara!" Gee screamed in his face, spit flying and teeth gritted.
The next moment, Gerard was lying on the floor at Bob's feet as everyone's breath caught in their throat. Bob had thrown Gee's seemingly secure hold with a soft flick of his wrist and had connected his fist precisely to Gerard's jaw. Their was a flicker of horror went across his face before he stepped over Gee's motionless form and walked to the door, "nothing's ever gonna be sorted out if he keeps turning on us the way he is because of that whore!" and he was out the door.
The silence was sickening; we were all just sitting gazing absently at Gee on the ground while we attempted to think of something to say. In the end it was my shaky voice that broke the silence, "Sara's not gonna be a problem anymore, she left."
"Good." Ray whispered hoarsely, his voice lingered in the room, which once again fell into silence.
"Right guys, let's go down to the bar." Brian walked over to the door and turned back to smile at us. Bless him; he always tries to lighten the mood. We all stood from our places, not necessarily because we wanted to go down to the bar because in actual fact I could tell none of us wanted to, but because Brian was trying so hard to fix things.
I looked down at Gee as I stood and was met by his shining eyes, only slightly open. "I'm gonna stay with Gerard." Ray nodded to me as him, Frank and Brian walked out the door and closed it.
He mumbled incoherent nonsense for a while as I just held him, but eventually I became aware that he was awake and just leaning on me.
"Gerard, your words fuckin' stung man!" I croaked, "I deserved for my brother to beat me to shit?"
He shook his head, "No, no. You're right Mikes, I shouldn't have said that about you. It's just, Sara said you hit her and I got angry, I wanted to stop everyone hurting her."
"Hm..." I shrugged distantly, "What about Sally then? Why did you hit her?" my tone was colder than I had intended it to be and I felt him tense.
"She did deserve it!" he hit his hand off the ground to emphasize his point. My arms fell from him automatically and I scrambled to my feet, not really believing what he had said.
"She didn't do anything!" I shouted as he stood up also so that we were standing only a step apart.
"Yes she did Mikey!" He said, pleading with his eyes, "It's all her fault!"
I felt my face scrunch up in confusion, but before I could ask anything, the loud noise of the fire alarm played through the hotel and the sprinklers on the ceiling burst into action. There was screaming coming from the hallway outside. Gee and I exchanged fearful glances before I wrenched the door open and we ran to join the small crowd of people dashing for the stairs in the opposite direction of the rising smoke.
I'm so happy people are enjoying this! Hope the first parts weren't too sappy, but Mikey's having a hard time of it all, he needs some Frank lovin'-lol:)
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