FicWad

D o g - e a r e d p a g e s , b r o k e n s p i n e

- t h e d r a m a m u s t e n d i n d u e t i m e





Back at home Carl had packed up the various little things belonging to Brenda that had accumulated in her apartment during the last past months. The CDs and DVDs that just proved that they had two completely different tastes when it came to music and films, but Caroline had been willing to give each single one of them a try.

"You're behaving like an old bag," Brenda teased her, pointing at the case of some random teenage movie. "The actors are hot and it's hilarious!"

"Isn't that what you said about the flick we watched the other day? The one during which I started reading my book because I was so bored?" the other female shot back, smirking.

"Come on, Caroline.... pleeaaasseeee!"

And both of them knew that her natural talent at sweet-talking would get Carl everytime.

A bottle of perfume. She took off the cap and sprayed some of it into the air, taking in the fruity smell.

"I noticed you were running out of it...," Carl handed Brenda the small bottle of her favorite scent.

The teenager's eyes twinkled with joy. She flung her arms around her girlfriend and pressed her lips onto hers.

"Thank you, hun'! This is so thoughtful of you... None of my male lovers ever got me perfume."

Carl hardly ever used perfume, she only had two different scents in her bathroom cupboard. One of them she had bought back in 1998, still half-full. The other one had come free with a set of towels.

The woman walked around the house, looking for more traces of Brenda.

A pack of cigarettes in her kitchen drawer. She had had tried one or two when her lover had been around but never took to it. Carl didn't like the idea of becoming dependent on more than was absolutely necessary. If you became addicted to something you became vulnerable.

Obviously that also held true for an addiction to a person.

Caroline grabbed the cigarettes and the lighter that lay next to them and threw them into the shoe box. Her eyes fell onto the label, stating that it formerly had held a pair of high-heeled sandals.

"What do you think of those?" Brenda tugged at her hand that was intertwined with her own.

They had stopped in front of a small shoe shop through the window of which the younger woman was excitedly starring at a pair of golden sandals with fragile straps and heels.

Carl shook her head and smiled at her girlfriend, "Have you ever looked at my feet?"

Brenda's eyes traveled down to the other woman's beaten sneakers.

"Come on... I wear sneakers at work too," she stuck out her tongue. "But as with so many things in life, you need to be flexible with footwear. Looking pretty never hurt no one, you know."

"This is you fishing for compliments. You know you already look pretty," Caroline replied, unimpressed but still somehow amused by the female's theory about shoes and its relation to her philosophy about life.

Brenda ran her hand through her hair and batted her eyelashes, "Right. And that's why these pretty sandals would look great on my feet. Let's go inside."

Sure, Caroline couldn't deny it, the girl had obviously a thing for material things. Some time ago she herself would have disapproved of wasting money on things that were not only unpractical but also probably a threat to the health of your ankles. This hadn't been the first time that she changed her views about the affectations of other people as she got to know them better. Plus, she couldn't picture Brenda in a different kind of outfit than what she usually had on. This was her as much as no-name brand jeans and a cotton t-shirts was Carl.

Dax trod into the living room and wagged his tail upon spying his temporary distributor of food and caresses sitting on the couch, the show box in front of her on the coffee table.

"Hey, little guy," the woman patted her knees and bend forward so she could scratch his head. "Coming to cheer me up?"

Naturally she had spent quite some time on looking back on her relationship with Brenda lately. She hadn't really thought much of Joe's involvement in the matter. From the start Carl had been aware that despite the fact that they were having a great time with each other whenever they hung out, it was only a matter of time until the teenager would get bored with her.

She had noticed Brenda's inner restlessness, her wish to explore the world, meet new people, experience new things. Caroline couldn't have seen herself still being with her in a few years. In the past she had rejected becoming romantically involved with anyone who was not interested in a long-term relationship because that was what she was actually after. Someone who she could get old with. Unfortunately things had always come to an end, even though her previous partners had had a smiliar mindset. Concluding that a shared idea of a relationship was not a guarantee for a its durability, she had found it too tempting to resist trying something new with a jaunty fitness instructor.

Brenda had never kept her flings with males a secret but Carl never took them too seriously. She could deal with that. It was only a physical thing, she had to find out about her sexuality. She always came back to her. They had never discussed this circumstance, mostly because even though Caroline accepted it, she didn't want to learn too much about it. Brenda had assured her that she always kept safe and her engagements with guys never interfered with their time together.

Maybe it had been a mistake to never talk about the nature of their own relationship either. Did it consist of more than just physical attraction and admiration about the way the other led her life? As it's always hard to dissect one's feelings and more specifically, the reasons for them, Carl couldn't answer this question.

All she knew was that she felt hurt.

"I'm not mad your owner..." she sat down on the floor next to the beagle. Dax put his head on her thigh and stretched out.

It was obvious that Brenda took a stronger interest in the male sex. As far as Carl knew, her one-night-stands and casual flings had always been guys. Part of Caroline was hurt that she had been dumped for somebody who had different things to offer; mainly due to his anatomy she suspected. This only led her to thinking that Carl's interest in her had been purely sexual. The other part was telling her that what was even worse than the biological difference was the fact that Brenda and Joe's relationship had started while the females had still been officially together. That she had been lied to for a few weeks.

Joe was not to blame. That unspecting dorky kid. He was probably more a kid than Brenda still was.

Hell, if she had paid more attention to what he was saying about his new girlfriend, maybe she would have figured it out earlier on her own.






-





A few weeks later Joe returned to his home.

The short tour had been just what the doctor ordered. It had allowed him to transform his anger and frustration into physical energy. He knew that the other guys were right, he couldn't just let Brenda's behavior take its toll on his life, especially not on his professional life. That would have been selfish and consequently extremely unappropriate, considering that it had been the woman's selfishness that had caused all of this.

Joe had eventually called Brenda, he didn't want to hurt her by ignoring her voice and text messages. Their conversations were always short and forced, mainly revolving around his experiences on tour.

She never said much, all she could think of was telling him that she missed him and that she really wanted them to work out. The young woman knew that she had told him often enough so she kept her mouth shut. Stressing the matter would only result in him feeling hemmed in.

Once he had asked her if she knew how Caroline was doing, if they were still keeeping in touch. Brenda told him about the time she came over to pick up her belongings. It had been cold and awkward. It remained unsaid between the two females but it was obvious that it would be best for both of them to just break off their contact.

Carl wasn't proud of the way she had ended their relationship. Maybe if she had just taken more time to think about it, if she hadn't been so enthusiastic to ensure that Joe wouldn't dismiss her, she had found a way to do it in a more sympathetic manner. She had a history of rushing into things and out of them once she got bored or excited about something else.

Joe always put off a serious discussion about where they stood now to when he would return from the tour. For one, he still didn't know whether or not to continue this relationship and the to other reason was that he hardly found a phone conversation appropriate for such a conversation.

He had also called Carl once to enquire after Dax, if he was causing any trouble. Her voice was friendly but he sensed that she wasn't in a chatting mood. Their further communication took place via text messages, usually in the form of:
"Hi. Just wondering what's up with Dax. Joe."
"Hi, back. We're getting along fine. He's good but I think he misses you. Carl."

Now it was time to pick up his puppy. See Caroline in the eyes. It was also time to face Brenda, but only at a later date. He missed his puppy, Dax could always cheer him up.

Carl had been expecting Joe and she was looking forward to it. His absence had made her realize how attached she had become to him during the short period of time that she had known him. His clumsiness with Dax, his straight-forwardness with her. Even his silly lisp. He was quite a character, an entertainer at heart and probably even unintentionally when not on stage.

During the last days she had succeeded in coming to terms with everything and even though she perferred not to see Brenda, at least for the time being, she wouldn't hold it against him if he kept seeing her ex-girlfriend. They were two grown-up people, they would handle this. At least she wanted to give it a try. She could tell Joe was a sincere and honest person and she wouldn't want to risk losing a friend like that over something that had ended for her anyway.

As soon as the woman opened the door Dax was at his owner's side, barking happily and pressing his front paws against his calf.

"Looks like someone really missed you," Carl commented and smiled at the man.

Joe was busy scratching and patting his little buddy and replied, "It's nice to be welcomed home like that."

"Do you want to come in?"

This took him by surprise. "I... Sure. If you don't mind?"

"I made some coffee. I think we should talk about something," she answered matter-of-factly.

"Alright," Joe stepped inside. After his jacket had been taken off and the coffee had been poured into the cups, Carl voiced what had been on her mind for days.

"I can tell that you're worried about me and I appreciate that, Joe, but I can take good care of myself and I-"

"I just-" he tried to chime in but was interrupted in just the same way.

"No, you listen now," Carl said decisively. Why did she always manage to have her words come out so rudely?

Joe immediately shut up. He could see how Dax had taken to obedience under her authority.

She continued, "I want you to know that I'll be perfectly fine no matter what will happen between Brenda and you. Just because I couldn't give her what she needed doesn't mean that I don't want her to get just that.... And I can tell that you really like her."

She paused, waiting for his reply.

Since none came she pointed out "It's not going to change anything between you and I. If that's what you're wondering about."

He smiled and breathed in. It was time to relax.