FicWad

I wait by Her door, night slowly yielding to day. I don't notice that, until the changing of the guards, further down the corridor. I'm too busy playing pretend to notice something so trivial as the passage of time. Pretending I don't notice the dull ache from my body as it complains at staying still for so long. Pretending I don't hear Her true guards, the Ravens, talking about Her, about me. Pretending hardest of all that I am not listening to my Lady and Her ally consummating their agreement with pleasure.

Words reach me through my game, to catch in my mind, the barb stinging. "Mongrel," "Pet," and "Spaniel" hurt, but not as much as the gasps and moans I hear through thick wood. I know they are Her's.

"Pathetic creature..."

"... at the ball... Just waited..."

"...shadows... lost puppy!"

Laughter rattles down the corridor. Which pain hurts more? Which would I give anything to stop? The answer is easy, and I feel sick at my own selfishness, but Her pleasure brings me a pain I cannot swallow. The laughter and mocking jibes are nothing to it.

I almost forget to pretend, I almost look up at the sound of three sets of boots heading towards me. I keep my eyes closed as they come closer, pretending I didn't hear Her gasp his name. The three stop, close to me. My heart pounds, making my blood roar and my muscles twitch nervously. Against one sidhe, I may have an advantage, but not three trained warriors.

"What a pet to have, to be so loyal," purred the farthest voice, his tone turning his words to weapons.

"I hear the mutts sell for a low price," the one more to the left snorted out.

"Is that true, dog? Are you cheap to buy?"

I do not move, trying to pretend I didn't hear them, not looking up, not tensing. I learnt the art of being ignored when I was barely out of swaddling, but here, in this great, empty hill, I have forgotten my lessons.

I get to my feet, so fast the sidhe are startled, stepping back and their swords half out when they realise themselves, and see I am just standing there, looking at the last to speak. They sheath their blades, and I fight to keep my expression smooth as I hear Her call his name a second time with such astonishment and joy it feels like I have taken a dagger to the gut. Their hearing must not be as sharp as mine, since they don't act like they hear it.

The middle Raven steps forward and grabs a fistful of my hair, using his grip to force me down again. I struggle for a moment, but he is sidhe, and too strong like this. I am forced to a knee, then to bow my head. Still gripping my hair, the Raven snarls, "This is how a spaniel pays respect, dog."

I wait until he lets go before raising to my feet again. I look at him for a brief moment - his tri-amber eyes are hauntingly beautiful, and his long hair is the shade of autumn leaves, bright reds and oranges and browns. I see it all in one defiant moment, twisted in anger, before he makes me pay for my pride with a fist.

I hit the wall behind me, and slide to the floor. For a moment, I am disorientated, my whole head hurting. The boots sound like they are moving away, the other two guards persuading the third to leave me.

On the ground, I hear another voice, whisper reverently, "...You taste like strawberries..." The lovers giggle together, and I cannot bare it.

I get to my feet again, licking blood from my lip, and hiss a curse at the retreating Ravens. "Unseelie."

I do not move as they come at me, like a raging storm. I welcome their strikes. The pain they cause works much better at distracting me than my game of pretend.