FicWad

Yashamaru told me nervously that we needed to keep that kiss a secret, and I didn't question why. Once in a while, though, he would casually kiss me, usually on the cheek or forehead but sometimes he would kiss me on the mouth, too. The touch of lips always remained simple and chaste, though once, he slipped one hand up my shirt and his fingertips ghosted over my chest. He pulled back sharply, his face turned bright red, and he apologized extensively. I've seen people doing that on some of the shows Temari watches. I think it's called 'making out.'

I don't get it at all.

Things changed a little when my dad found out though, and I didn't quite understand the relationship between my uncle and him until then. The Kazekage and Yashamaru barely ever exchanged words, and I never really noticed how hostile Father acted towards him until this moment. Yashamaru pulled violently away from me, glancing up in shock. A few moments before, his soft lips had been on mine. "Oh, ano... Kazekage-sama, I..."

Kazekage-sama looked hard at me. "What. The. FUCK. Are. You. Doing?!"

"I... I.."

I gasped as Father lunged, pushing Yashamaru away from me. His fingers threaded in my uncle's hair, pulling, and Yashamaru winced in pain. "What the fuck are you doing to my son? Are you trying to make him queer?" He shouted, and with a grunt of effort, he pushed the shorter man back until his head collided painfully with the wall behind him.

"N-No, Kazekage-sama, I wasn't..." Smack. My father pulled him back, and hit him again against the wall. "K-Kazekage-sama!" Smack.

"Stop!" I shouted. "F-Father, please!" I closed my eyes, trying to block out what was happening.

"Shut up... fag!" Father regarded my feeble attempts to make peace with a nasty sneer. "This is my house. What say do you have in how I run things?"

While my father was distracted with me, Yashamaru turned around sharply, tearing free from Father's grip. His hand clamped around Father's throat in retaliation, but his eyes were full of uneasy fear and he was bleeding from a gash in his forehead that was formerly healing nicely, but had been reopened by Father. When he spoke, his voice was tremulous. "K-Kazekage-sama... what the fuck is wrong with you!" This was the first time I had heard an obscenity pass his lips.

Tentatively, I pulled on my father's sleeve. "P-Please don't hurt Yashamaru, Father... I love him!"

The Kazekage looked as suprised as Yashamaru. "I'm s-sorry, Gaara," This was from Yashamaru, and my father and I both turned in suprise. "Forgive m-me... because I took advantage of your l-loyalty."

"What are you talking about, Yashamaru!" I shouted. "You never took advantage of me! You never betrayed me!"

"Oh, Gaara, you're s-so naive..." A ghost of a smile flickered over his delicate features. With this, he slipped out of conciousness, falling heavily against my father's chest. Father looked at him in disgust, and pushed him to the ground. Then, he looked at me, his gaze hardened. "Well, are you going to help him? You can't let him die..." I knew he did not care at all for his brother-in-law, the reason for his concern was simply because otherwise, he'd have to deal with me.

And then... he left. I had no knowledge of healing, and I knew things would be bad if he didn't get the help of a medic. "Yashamaru... koi!" I whispered, using the word my father often used when he spoke about Karura. "P-Please don't die! K-KANKUROU! TEMARI! Somebody h-help!"

Nobody came. That's when I kissed him. Slowly, with all of my feelings... because I knew now that he didn't love me. He did take advantage of me... but I couldn't be mad at him.

He woke up, and I felt my mouth fill with metallic tasting blood. During the attack, he had bitten his tounge, and his mouth was now bleeding, but not as heavily as his head. His eyes slowly opened, and he rolled onto his side, sputtering. "G-G-Gaara..."

"Why... w-why don't you love me back?" I cried softly, burying my face in my hands.

"Gaara... h-honey..." Yashamaru whispered soothingly, sitting up to lean against the wall. "I didn't mean what I said back there. I d-do love you... I love y-you so much, Gaara-sama..."

"P-Please stop lying, Yashamaru. It hurts." I cried, and I pushed him away when he tried to hug me. "Your h-head... does it hurt, Uncle Yashamaru?"

"Please go get me the gauze. I believe you'll find some in the medicine cabinet." Yashamaru said briskly, a sudden change in expression. I felt my heart break at his cold manner of speech, and I clutched my chest in pain. "I'll show you how to bandage."

"Y-Yashamaru.." I leaned up to kiss him, but he turned his head so my lips connected with his jaw instead.

"Hurry. This could be the last of my time, unless we stop the bleeding."

This frightened me. I obeyed his orders as fast as I could, racing back to his side with bandages and antiseptic. "I d-don't know what to do!" I whimpered, beginning to panic. "Oh God, Yashamaru! Please don't die!"

"Why would you care?" He murmured, squeezing his eyes shut to block the pain.

"I still love you!" I whispered. "I still love you, Yashamaru! It doesn't matter if you hate me... I love you!"

"Honey... I never hated you." Yashamaru protested, helping me to pour the antiseptic on a cloth and apply it to the wound. He winced but did not move away. As I wrapped the bandage around his head, I sighed. "You're lying to me again. You hate me because I killed Karura... don't you?"

"No, Gaara-sama! I din't h-hate you... I know it wasn't y-your fault... c'mere..."He leaned forward and tried to give me a kiss to reassure me, but I shook my head violently, fighting back another wave of tears.

"St-Stop lying!"

"We'll find a way through this... I promise..." Yashamaru assured me softly, once I had fixed the wound. "I'm a little confused now, so I can only imagine the pain you're in now. We'll find a way..." I looked into his eyes, and I tried to trust him, because I knew that he was always serious when he used that soft, stern tone. "L-Let me kiss you... Gaara-sama."

I did. It felt good, even if it was a lie.

"When we're angels, Yashamaru-koi."