We drove the rest of the way to the next nearest hospital in an awkward almost constant silence; Bob, even in his unconscious state, was the only one to ever break the suffocating quiet with his occasional yelps of pain. I sat staring out of the window, not taking in the surrounding roadside, as Gee kept driving. I was paying so little attention that, when I suddenly realised the car had stopped moving, I was shocked to find us outside the hospital. The click of Gerard's seatbelt being undone sounded deafeningly loud compared to the previous stillness and it seemed to snap me back to reality.
"You think he'll be considered an 'accident' or an 'emergency'?" Gee asked me as I followed him out the car, he had to clear his throat half way through his question; his voice was hoarse from being out of use for the duration of the journey. He was looking thoughtfully at the two separate entrances to the hospital, stealing glances at Bob who was still spread out clumsily across the back seats of the car.
Opening the door and attempting to get Bob out, I fixed Gerard with a look before answering, "Gee, the guy's unconscious, bleeding and his skin's half falling off his face for fuck sakes!" maybe I was exaggerating slightly, but that's what it looked like and I was feeling my breathing begin to grow difficult.
A frown flitted across Gee's face before he nodded, "'emergency' room it is", and walked to my side to take part of Bob's weight of off me.
"So, you're gonna talk now?" I looked up from staring at the hospital floor, sitting in my plastic seat -this time purple- to see Gerard's outstretched hand and the steaming coffee he held in it. Wordlessly, I took it, blew on it and lifted it to my lips silently grateful. Gee took the acceptance of the coffee as his sign to keep talking.
"Why did he have to leave the last hospital?" he asked sitting next to me.
"I'm not sure," I answered truthfully, "but, he said someone poisoned his water." I took another gulp of my coffee, "he was probably delirious or something." I added, the thought suddenly occurring to me, it was logical.
"No." Gerard said simply and I turned to look at him slightly shocked, his face was pale and he was now the one staring at the ground.
"No what?" I asked, he still didn't look at me.
"He wasn't delirious, I think he was right; the water was poisoned." He finally looked up and coughed slightly, "Mikey, this is gonna sound really odd, but from now on don't drink anything unless you make it yourself, okay? And make sure any bottles or whatever are sealed."
"What the hell?" I asked, again taking a sip from my coffee. Only this time I paused when I had a mouthful of the liquid in my mouth and stared at him.
Rolling his eyes and looking a little hurt he defended himself, "I wouldn't put anything in your drinks Mikey, Jesus! You're my brother for Christ's sake!"
I swallowed the coffee and smiled apologetically at him. "Gee, I don't know what the hell's going on at the moment, you can't blame me."
He sighed, "everything's so fucked up.... everyone's so fucked up!" I nodded sadly before we fell into silence.
As I drained my cup and stood to put it in the bin, I asked, "So, why am I to watch what I drink?"
He turned away, " If someone tried to poison Bob, someone could try and poison you. I couldn't bare to see anything happen to you, little bro" he ruffled my hair, attempting to lighten the mood, but this time I couldn't be bothered to pull away or fight back and so the effort fell flat; there was something about the way he was warning me that showed there was so much more depth to his words than simply worry and he was keeping the exact meaning away from me, which I did not appreciate one bit; so many thing beyond my control and understanding were happening in my life, to me.
"You didn't mind when Sara tried to hurt me." I spat, my words suddenly venomous, yet they caught slightly in my throat as I was reminded of her all alone in a foreign jail; so small, fragile.
"She convinced me she didn't." he said slowly and calmly.
"Oh, so I'd make up the fact that she tried to kill me?" I asked bitterly. The memory confused me even more now than it did then; now that I suddenly cared for her.
"Mikey," he started and paused, "Sara's...difficult to understand." I actually snorted but he ignored it, "she's been through a lot, she does stuff without thinking of the consequences; she's sort of stuck in her childhood and it was a fucked up childhood."
I didn't understand fully, but there was something held me back from asking more about Sara, so instead I focused on Gerard, "Well, you're not stuck in your childhood." I looked to him, "you should know to trust me, your brother, after all I was actually there for you through childhood." I paused, "and for so much after that..." I choked out quietly.
"I know Mikes, I'm sorry, really I am but," I was staring him straight in the eyes and listening intently to every word, "what I have with Sara is also difficult; I just want to protect her and help her. When she does stuff, I don't want to believe that it's true." He looked away, a slight look of shame on his face, "I know none of you like Sara, you never have, and I know that you all did the best you could to get rid of her -to protect me- so I..." he trailed off.
"Go on." I prompted cautiously.
"I thought that you were all making up lies about her to make me leave her." He said quickly, looking up warily, his eyes glittering with water, to gauge my reaction.
"You didn't believe anything we told you?" I asked surprisingly numb of feeling.
"Well," he played with his hands subconsciously, "deep down, yeah I did. But I tried to convince myself you were lying. When Frank told me she tried to sleep with him, I was upset because she told me she didn't try to; I just..." his hands were all of a sudden flying about animatedly as he gave a frustrated curse, "I just want her to take responsibility for what she does, for her words to be the truth, if she did that then she'd be fine...she'd be happy." He dropped his hands, "I want to be able to believe her!"
Changing the subject without properly realising, "You think she set fire to the hotel?" I asked, my mind hurting as it sped around ridiculously fast in its attempt to understand the 'inner workings' of Sara.
He shook his head, "Not deliberately."
"What?" I asked, my head snapping round.
"It was an accident." He said simply.
"How do you know?" I asked confused.
Gerard opened his mouth to speak but the ring tone from his phone stopped the words from forming and he sighed heavily before pulling the phone out, looking at it strangely and then answering it, "Hello?" He greeted questioningly before walking away from me.
The space he put between himself and myself bothered me, I couldn't hear a word being spoken but I could still see him glancing over to me at various different times for the whole five minutes he was on the phone. He ended the call finally and walked back over to me, looking edgy.
"I have to go, please don't ask," he held his hand up "you stay here and go in to see Bob when they let you, I won't be long." He walked away before I could say anything against his orders but about half way down the corridor, walking toward the exit, he turned and shouted back, "only your own drinks."
"Was it Brian on the phone?" I shouted back slightly annoyed that he was being so secretive and jittery -but what was new?
"Only drink your own drinks!" was all he shouted back before he walked out the door, leaving me sitting in my hard, uncomfortable, plastic, purple seat more than a little pissed off and extremely confused. Again, what was new?
Woah, that's the most dialogue I think I've ever written-lol Thank you all for the reviews they make ma little dreary Scottish days that much brighter! :)
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