Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > It's Hard To Say I Do When I Don't
Confessions and Lies
3 reviewsSorry to all my readers...I know I haven't updated in a while...I've been so busy and it's hard to find the time to write. Anyways...this is probably the best way to sum it up: Tara is feeling guil...
0Unrated
A.N.: Yeah, not really long, I know...
When Patrick, Andy, and Joe came back it was easy to once again pretend like nothing went on. I smiled and played coy, helping bring in several paper grocery bags and setting them down. I unpacked them, putting soda and beer in the mini-bar, bread, chips, and donuts next to it on the floor.
Everyone settled onto the couches, Andy and Joe on one, Patrick and Pete on the other, and me on the floor between them, Hemmingway on my lap. We talked about random things, the tour, the writing for the new record, set to release the beginning of next year, the dog, other bands, cream cheese*, and all kinds of other things. That's one of the things that I loved about the guys, we could all talk about something out of nowhere and make it interesting. The only part of the conversations I didn't like was when we brought up Chicago. Joe asked me and Patrick if when we got home, I might move in with him.
It wasn't that I didn't like the idea, but I guess I just thought it was a bit early to talk about it. Patrick, of course, said he was thinking about it, but that him and I would have to talk more about it.
I couldn't very well not say anything about it, so I simply said that it sounded like a good idea. I didn't look at Pete, I didn't exactly know what his reaction might be.
Anyways, after a while everyone decided to go to their own rooms, tomorrow would be busy, there was a whole bunch of prep for the show. Patrick and I went to our room. I went in, but he stayed hovering by the door with an unsure look on his face.
It was a little awkward, I could honestly say this was the only time during the entire tour that we had ever actually been really alone, with no one to bother us, and I wasn't tired yet. In fact, with Patrick standing there all adorable and nervous, I felt like just kissing all over him.
"You know, you don't have to stand there all adorable, you can come in." I smiled and padded across the carpet and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the room. I closed the door behind me, and followed him down the short hallway.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, and patted the spot next to me. He sat down next to me, and I shifted so I closed the small gap between us.
"Did you mean that?" he asked.
"Mean what?"
"What you said before, about how the whole moving in thing was a good idea."
"Of course I meant it, why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know, I just didn't know what you would think. I was worried you wouldn't agree to it because I haven't been spending a lot of time with you lately. We used to be together all the time when we started dating. I'm worried you might not...love me, I guess."
"Oh, Patrick, you know I wouldn't think something like that. Of course I love you."
"I know. I am a little freaked out that you and Pete spend so much time together now. Is there anything going on?"
I froze. What could I say? I couldn't tell him, but yet...maybe it was better that I did.
"Um, Patrick? If I tell you something, I know you'll be angry, but please, please, don't go awol. Please? I love you so much, and I know that it should have never happened, but it just did, and I couldn't stop it, I swear it wasn't supposed to, and I don't want you to hate me, and especially not your best friend, so can you please not be really mad?"
"You slept with him, didn't you?"
I couldn't help it. It didn't matter to me about what Pete would say when he found out that Patrick knew, I was only concerned about Patrick. I broke down in tears.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
I was surprised when Patrick wrapped his arms around me, whispering in my ear like I was a little kid.
"Tara, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Pete though."
"Don't do anything to him, please?"
"I won't, but I can't let this slide. I think you need to know something about him, though."
"What?" I pulled away from his shoulder where I was resting, and looked at him.
"Tara, Pete could be in a lot of trouble for this if anyone finds out besides me. This isn't the first time this has happened, and he's gotten away with it before, but too much and he might just lose everything."
"What are you talking about?"
"Tara, Pete has a fiancee back in Chicago. And even more than that..."
"What? What's more than that?" I asked, trying to hide the shock in my voice.
"Even more than that, he and his fiancee are about to become...parents."
When Patrick, Andy, and Joe came back it was easy to once again pretend like nothing went on. I smiled and played coy, helping bring in several paper grocery bags and setting them down. I unpacked them, putting soda and beer in the mini-bar, bread, chips, and donuts next to it on the floor.
Everyone settled onto the couches, Andy and Joe on one, Patrick and Pete on the other, and me on the floor between them, Hemmingway on my lap. We talked about random things, the tour, the writing for the new record, set to release the beginning of next year, the dog, other bands, cream cheese*, and all kinds of other things. That's one of the things that I loved about the guys, we could all talk about something out of nowhere and make it interesting. The only part of the conversations I didn't like was when we brought up Chicago. Joe asked me and Patrick if when we got home, I might move in with him.
It wasn't that I didn't like the idea, but I guess I just thought it was a bit early to talk about it. Patrick, of course, said he was thinking about it, but that him and I would have to talk more about it.
I couldn't very well not say anything about it, so I simply said that it sounded like a good idea. I didn't look at Pete, I didn't exactly know what his reaction might be.
Anyways, after a while everyone decided to go to their own rooms, tomorrow would be busy, there was a whole bunch of prep for the show. Patrick and I went to our room. I went in, but he stayed hovering by the door with an unsure look on his face.
It was a little awkward, I could honestly say this was the only time during the entire tour that we had ever actually been really alone, with no one to bother us, and I wasn't tired yet. In fact, with Patrick standing there all adorable and nervous, I felt like just kissing all over him.
"You know, you don't have to stand there all adorable, you can come in." I smiled and padded across the carpet and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the room. I closed the door behind me, and followed him down the short hallway.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, and patted the spot next to me. He sat down next to me, and I shifted so I closed the small gap between us.
"Did you mean that?" he asked.
"Mean what?"
"What you said before, about how the whole moving in thing was a good idea."
"Of course I meant it, why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know, I just didn't know what you would think. I was worried you wouldn't agree to it because I haven't been spending a lot of time with you lately. We used to be together all the time when we started dating. I'm worried you might not...love me, I guess."
"Oh, Patrick, you know I wouldn't think something like that. Of course I love you."
"I know. I am a little freaked out that you and Pete spend so much time together now. Is there anything going on?"
I froze. What could I say? I couldn't tell him, but yet...maybe it was better that I did.
"Um, Patrick? If I tell you something, I know you'll be angry, but please, please, don't go awol. Please? I love you so much, and I know that it should have never happened, but it just did, and I couldn't stop it, I swear it wasn't supposed to, and I don't want you to hate me, and especially not your best friend, so can you please not be really mad?"
"You slept with him, didn't you?"
I couldn't help it. It didn't matter to me about what Pete would say when he found out that Patrick knew, I was only concerned about Patrick. I broke down in tears.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
I was surprised when Patrick wrapped his arms around me, whispering in my ear like I was a little kid.
"Tara, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Pete though."
"Don't do anything to him, please?"
"I won't, but I can't let this slide. I think you need to know something about him, though."
"What?" I pulled away from his shoulder where I was resting, and looked at him.
"Tara, Pete could be in a lot of trouble for this if anyone finds out besides me. This isn't the first time this has happened, and he's gotten away with it before, but too much and he might just lose everything."
"What are you talking about?"
"Tara, Pete has a fiancee back in Chicago. And even more than that..."
"What? What's more than that?" I asked, trying to hide the shock in my voice.
"Even more than that, he and his fiancee are about to become...parents."
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