Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > I've already given up on myself twice
One day the world can be at your feet but the next...
1 reviewIts time that Elspeth faced her fears and stitched up the bad bit of her past...
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Thank you for the reviews so far here is chapter four...enjoy!
Elspeth's POV
I hid behind the door of my locker as I had spotted his face in crowd again. I knew he'd seen me so I hurriedly placed the contents of my bag into my locker. But wasn't quick enough, I closed the door and there were those chocolate brown eyes staring at me. "Elspeth..." He said tenderly.
"Brendon I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to see you the other day." I said not looking him in the eyes.
"I know that, but you weren't thinking straight." He said while looking at the floor. I sighed and I knew he needed a chance it wasn't fair on him. "We need to talk, not here though." I said while grabbing his arm just above the wrist and leading him out the front entrance. We found a spot by a tree where no one was around so some idiot wouldn't come and butt in when the wanted to do so. I let go of his wrist and sat down, he did the same. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Pete had history?" He asked me. I could feel the pain starting to come back that I felt when I saw Pete the other day. "When we were at my house the other day you asked me if I was taken, and then I said about how I had an ex that was painful to talk about...well Pete is that ex." I said trying to hide my watery eyes from his sight. He sighed and grabbed my hand and knotted it with his. "You don't have to talk anymore if you want." He said comfortingly.
"I do." I said staring at him in his oaky eyes. "I met him when I was sixteen, he was twenty-two. I know big age gap but we didn't care, I loved him, he loved me. I thought he was the one, but then about six months ago my mom got a job in New Jersey and I moved. We broke up because I couldn't do the long-term thing. I didn't do it in person that's why I reacted the way I did when I saw him the other day." I said as the tears ran down my cheeks. He let go of my hand and pulled my head into his chest, I could feel his heart beating as he stroked his fingers through my hair. "Everyone has history and everyone makes mistakes." He said soothingly. He was being so understanding; I knew there was a punch to the stomach coming though I could feel it. "At the moment Els I'm not sure if we're together cuz its up to you, but what I do know is that you and Pete need to sort things out." He paused here it came. "So I rang Pete." He said. Those words were like he'd shot me. I took my head away from his chest, "You did what?" I asked speechlessly.
"I'm sorry Els but you need to sort things out." He replied. My heart was racing in my chest I can't believe he did that, he may mean well but still he had no right. "Hey Elspeth." I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around and stared speechlessly at Pete, who was holding a bouquet of roses. Brendon smiled weakly at me, "I'll let you guys talk." He said while squeezing my hand. I smiled at him nervously and he placed a kiss on my lips and then walked off. Great now Pete and me were alone. He smiled at me weakly and sat down where Brendon was before. He stared me in the eyes, like he did when we were together, fuck this can't be happening. "I thought I might get you something so heres some flowers...they're your favourite right?" He said while passing me them, I smiled softly at him. "Thanks Pete." It was the only thing that came into my head. There was an awkward silence; I had to speak my mind. "Pete I'm sorry." I said pathetically. He sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. "If you'd have said that to me six months ago I probably would have not believed it...but I know you're sorry, just why? Why couldn't you come to my face and say it?" He said while not taking his eyes away from mine.
"Because I knew that you would talk me out of it Pete...you always managed to talk me out of doing stupid things." I said honestly.
"When we broke up...I didn't just loose my one true love...I lost one of my best friends." He said honestly, his words made my gut dart in circles.
"Well today you found that friend again." I said while smiling at him.
"That's good cuz I missed our chats, you should come back and visit the guys in Chicago." He smiled back.
"I will do." I smirked he then pulled me in for a hug. "Brendon's perfect for you." He whispered in my ear. I let go of him and asked him nervously. "I hope I can say there's someone that's perfect for you in your life at the moment?" God that sounded way better in my head.
"Well there was but she cheated on me so I'm free right now...but don't worry I'm okay." He smirked.
"Oh good." I smiled at him at last we were okay now that was a weight off my mind, and I think things are okay with Brendon. Well if there not then we'll see.
"Hey Brendon!" Pete cried as he came up to us.
"Hey Pete!" He said in a high-pitched tone. "Oh you like that do you?" He smirked as he sat down next to me.
"Maybe." I said while biting my bottom lip. He raised his eyebrows and pulled me onto his lap and started tickling me. "Brendon!" I screamed happily. Pete pulled the weirdest face ever, and he pulled a lot of faces. "Get a room." He joked while lightly shoving Brendon and me and falling over himself. This is going way to well something bad has to happen soon. We were all in laughing fits until Hayley and Spencer came over. He coughed loudly and we all hastily shut up. "Whats so funny?" Spencer asked as he sat down on the grass opposite us.
"Nothing." Pete mumbled as he pulled up a clump of the grass out of the crowd.
"So how did the meeting with the head go about the simulator?" Brendon asked while putting his arm around me. I could tell he was proud to have me as a girlfriend, I mean I was over the moon to have him as a boyfriend and Pete seemed to be okay with it.
"It went fine." Spencer said quickly.
"Oh shut up Spencer it didn't go fine, we've failed the term and its all your fault." Hayley said snapping at him.
"Well you told me to stop it crying." Spencer retaliated. I sighed as they continued to bicker. I looked up at Brendon and he rolled his eyes, as the shouting got louder. He was so cute when he did that. "Could you two please shut up?!" Pete shouted over them, they both silenced and he smiled triumphantly.
"Can't you two just get together?" Brendon moaned openly. I gently hit him on the chest. "What!?" He said in his high-pitched voice, "They both obviously fancy each other, so why don't they just get together?" He said to me.
"Excuse me but they happen to have names, and even if I did like Spencer he wouldn't go out with me." Hayley mumbled. Brendon, Pete and I exchanged looks and decided to get up and wait for them at the bus stop.
We stood there like lemons waiting impatiently for them to finish talking I could tell Brendon was bored cuz he kept pacing the floor. Pete was stood against the wall with his hood up and earphones jammed in. The music was so loud I could here it from where I was standing. I lent up against the post and gave Brendon one of my 'bored' looks. He smiled softly and walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "Are we okay?" He whispered in my ear.
"We're perfect." I whispered back. I could see Pete pulling faces behind Brendon and I couldn't help but laugh. I cam out of the hug slightly so he still had his hands n my waist. His eyes stared down into mine. "He's pulling faces isn't he?" He said while his face was engulfed by a huge grin.
"Yeah." I said gazing back. He shrugged his shoulders and knelt in and placed yet another kiss on my lips. Before we could go any further all that could be heard was Pete whistling. Brendon took his lips away from mine and smirked as we both saw Spencer and Hayley walking across the field hand in hand. Everything was slotting into place, something had to go wrong soon...
Elspeth's POV
I hid behind the door of my locker as I had spotted his face in crowd again. I knew he'd seen me so I hurriedly placed the contents of my bag into my locker. But wasn't quick enough, I closed the door and there were those chocolate brown eyes staring at me. "Elspeth..." He said tenderly.
"Brendon I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to see you the other day." I said not looking him in the eyes.
"I know that, but you weren't thinking straight." He said while looking at the floor. I sighed and I knew he needed a chance it wasn't fair on him. "We need to talk, not here though." I said while grabbing his arm just above the wrist and leading him out the front entrance. We found a spot by a tree where no one was around so some idiot wouldn't come and butt in when the wanted to do so. I let go of his wrist and sat down, he did the same. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Pete had history?" He asked me. I could feel the pain starting to come back that I felt when I saw Pete the other day. "When we were at my house the other day you asked me if I was taken, and then I said about how I had an ex that was painful to talk about...well Pete is that ex." I said trying to hide my watery eyes from his sight. He sighed and grabbed my hand and knotted it with his. "You don't have to talk anymore if you want." He said comfortingly.
"I do." I said staring at him in his oaky eyes. "I met him when I was sixteen, he was twenty-two. I know big age gap but we didn't care, I loved him, he loved me. I thought he was the one, but then about six months ago my mom got a job in New Jersey and I moved. We broke up because I couldn't do the long-term thing. I didn't do it in person that's why I reacted the way I did when I saw him the other day." I said as the tears ran down my cheeks. He let go of my hand and pulled my head into his chest, I could feel his heart beating as he stroked his fingers through my hair. "Everyone has history and everyone makes mistakes." He said soothingly. He was being so understanding; I knew there was a punch to the stomach coming though I could feel it. "At the moment Els I'm not sure if we're together cuz its up to you, but what I do know is that you and Pete need to sort things out." He paused here it came. "So I rang Pete." He said. Those words were like he'd shot me. I took my head away from his chest, "You did what?" I asked speechlessly.
"I'm sorry Els but you need to sort things out." He replied. My heart was racing in my chest I can't believe he did that, he may mean well but still he had no right. "Hey Elspeth." I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around and stared speechlessly at Pete, who was holding a bouquet of roses. Brendon smiled weakly at me, "I'll let you guys talk." He said while squeezing my hand. I smiled at him nervously and he placed a kiss on my lips and then walked off. Great now Pete and me were alone. He smiled at me weakly and sat down where Brendon was before. He stared me in the eyes, like he did when we were together, fuck this can't be happening. "I thought I might get you something so heres some flowers...they're your favourite right?" He said while passing me them, I smiled softly at him. "Thanks Pete." It was the only thing that came into my head. There was an awkward silence; I had to speak my mind. "Pete I'm sorry." I said pathetically. He sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. "If you'd have said that to me six months ago I probably would have not believed it...but I know you're sorry, just why? Why couldn't you come to my face and say it?" He said while not taking his eyes away from mine.
"Because I knew that you would talk me out of it Pete...you always managed to talk me out of doing stupid things." I said honestly.
"When we broke up...I didn't just loose my one true love...I lost one of my best friends." He said honestly, his words made my gut dart in circles.
"Well today you found that friend again." I said while smiling at him.
"That's good cuz I missed our chats, you should come back and visit the guys in Chicago." He smiled back.
"I will do." I smirked he then pulled me in for a hug. "Brendon's perfect for you." He whispered in my ear. I let go of him and asked him nervously. "I hope I can say there's someone that's perfect for you in your life at the moment?" God that sounded way better in my head.
"Well there was but she cheated on me so I'm free right now...but don't worry I'm okay." He smirked.
"Oh good." I smiled at him at last we were okay now that was a weight off my mind, and I think things are okay with Brendon. Well if there not then we'll see.
"Hey Brendon!" Pete cried as he came up to us.
"Hey Pete!" He said in a high-pitched tone. "Oh you like that do you?" He smirked as he sat down next to me.
"Maybe." I said while biting my bottom lip. He raised his eyebrows and pulled me onto his lap and started tickling me. "Brendon!" I screamed happily. Pete pulled the weirdest face ever, and he pulled a lot of faces. "Get a room." He joked while lightly shoving Brendon and me and falling over himself. This is going way to well something bad has to happen soon. We were all in laughing fits until Hayley and Spencer came over. He coughed loudly and we all hastily shut up. "Whats so funny?" Spencer asked as he sat down on the grass opposite us.
"Nothing." Pete mumbled as he pulled up a clump of the grass out of the crowd.
"So how did the meeting with the head go about the simulator?" Brendon asked while putting his arm around me. I could tell he was proud to have me as a girlfriend, I mean I was over the moon to have him as a boyfriend and Pete seemed to be okay with it.
"It went fine." Spencer said quickly.
"Oh shut up Spencer it didn't go fine, we've failed the term and its all your fault." Hayley said snapping at him.
"Well you told me to stop it crying." Spencer retaliated. I sighed as they continued to bicker. I looked up at Brendon and he rolled his eyes, as the shouting got louder. He was so cute when he did that. "Could you two please shut up?!" Pete shouted over them, they both silenced and he smiled triumphantly.
"Can't you two just get together?" Brendon moaned openly. I gently hit him on the chest. "What!?" He said in his high-pitched voice, "They both obviously fancy each other, so why don't they just get together?" He said to me.
"Excuse me but they happen to have names, and even if I did like Spencer he wouldn't go out with me." Hayley mumbled. Brendon, Pete and I exchanged looks and decided to get up and wait for them at the bus stop.
We stood there like lemons waiting impatiently for them to finish talking I could tell Brendon was bored cuz he kept pacing the floor. Pete was stood against the wall with his hood up and earphones jammed in. The music was so loud I could here it from where I was standing. I lent up against the post and gave Brendon one of my 'bored' looks. He smiled softly and walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "Are we okay?" He whispered in my ear.
"We're perfect." I whispered back. I could see Pete pulling faces behind Brendon and I couldn't help but laugh. I cam out of the hug slightly so he still had his hands n my waist. His eyes stared down into mine. "He's pulling faces isn't he?" He said while his face was engulfed by a huge grin.
"Yeah." I said gazing back. He shrugged his shoulders and knelt in and placed yet another kiss on my lips. Before we could go any further all that could be heard was Pete whistling. Brendon took his lips away from mine and smirked as we both saw Spencer and Hayley walking across the field hand in hand. Everything was slotting into place, something had to go wrong soon...
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