"For the love of fuck!" I practically screamed with frustration into my pillow as I was once again woken by a thud at the door; it hadn't been easy getting back to sleep once Gerard had left, but I eventually managed it and then...this!
"Mikey, hun, open up....I-I-I really need to talk to you!" her voice stuttered through the door and my breath caught harshly in my throat; so much had happened that, for a moment, I had forgotten all about Sally. Should I answer the door? Should I confront her about what I heard her say by Bob's bedside? My headache pounded furiously at an increasingly agonising pace while my mind whizzed about in constant questioning, not even reaching the end of a single query before the next one started, the voices inside my head frantic and scared? There was no way I would be able to come up with the answers to all of them, but that didn't matter because, only seconds later, the door opened and I heard her walk in while I automatically snapped my eyes closed tight in a bid to look as though I were sleeping.
Following the noise of the door clicking back into place -I mentally cursed myself for not re-locking it once Gee had left- she sighed softly. I tried to keep my breathing steady and convincing, making sure that my throat wheezed a little with each intake of breath -as was usual for me when I truly was sleeping. But it was extremely difficult considering the nagging pain in my skull and the heavy pounding of my heart; I could hear it ringing clearly through my body. Why was I so scared of her?
I was concentrating so hard on my 'Sleeping Beauty' act that I didn't realise, until it happened, that she was suddenly lying on the bed next to me, her cold arm coiled around my waist and I cringed as I felt my body tense up even more than it had been before. What was she doing?
"You're awake Mikey." She whispered strangely, softly in my ear, my muscles tensed that little bit more, but still I continued trying to fool her.
"This isn't a game Mikey!" she slightly hissed this time, "Stop fucking messing around."
I still lay there motionless but my fake steady breathing had stopped, I didn't open my eyes as I inhaled a sharp shocked breath; it may sound silly, but, even though I heard the way she spoke to Bob, it still felt wrong and bizarre to hear the woman who had helped me through so much, been there for me, speaking so viciously toward me.
"You're not gonna talk? Fine." She definitely hissed through clenched teeth, "You can listen then." She stroked my cheek causing me to shiver and I could hear her smile as she continued, "If you think you're gonna be able to help her, you're wrong! I'm a very influential person." She kept stroking my face, enjoying the way my body shook disgusted by her touch.
"Her?" I asked quietly without thinking, slapping myself inside my head for breaking my silence.
"Sara." She explained, stopping her fingertips mid-stroke.
"I hate Sara!" I responded, putting on what I thought to be a convincing look of confusion and shock. Why was I finding myself lying to her?
"Bullshit Mikey!" she spat, forcing my head to an angle where I had to look her in her cold eyes. "Just forget her, you can't help her now."
"What the hell Sally? A second ago, you were the sane one out of the Hafferty sisters!" I asked, fighting back a shudder from under her firm touch, grasping the opportunity to get some answers.
She laughed, shaking my head roughly for a moment, "You're such a shit liar Mikes! I knew you were there on the ward when I had that little conversation with Bob, it was all for your benefit."
"What? Why?" I choked out, even more mystified, why would she do that?
Again she laughed, "Your opinion on Sara changed quite a bit after you heard that, didn't it?" she asked, smiling knowingly.
I stared into her eyes genuinely thinking carefully before answering her, "Only a little bit, I still wasn't sure what to think; she's done so much fucked up shit since I've known her. So, no, my opinion didn't change that much after I heard you admit that you attempted to murder one of my best friends." My voice had gotten lower and lower in ferocity as I spoke.
"God, get over it, so what if I tried to kill Bob? People shouldn't get involved in matters that don't concern them!" she actually defended herself; I couldn't believe my ears as she essentially just justified attempted murder. "It's a shame really..." she trailed off smiling and then shaking her head. "So, your opinion changed when you visited her at the police station then?" she changed the subject.
"Firstly: yes, at the police station was when I realised that if anything, Sara is a victim in all of this" I answered, receiving a nod from Sally, and a questioning glance from the Mikey inside my head; was that really how I felt about Sara? "Secondly: what's a shame really?" I asked, my tone mocking and curious at the same time.
"Oh...it's a shame that we didn't have this conversation before now, you could have done with a warning about not getting involved -I just thought it would be easier to keep playing your 'therapist'." She continued in answer, "Well that's not true actually Mikey, and I'm sorry in a way that you've gotten so involved in this. I didn't, in the beginning, realise that this would end up so complicated."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I almost shouted in her face, frustrated that I always seemed to have these conversations that only ever lead to more confusion and never any answers.
She sighed and knelt up on the bed, preparing to lift herself off it completely, "You don't need to know Mikey, just trust me on that." And with that she began shifting herself to the edge, preparing to leave me confused and questioning just like Gerard had done only a couple of hours ago. Well, fuck that! I thought angrily.
I grabbed her wrist as she stood off the edge of the bed and threw her back down roughly following her down so I was hovering over her, the mattresses springs noisily coiling and then uncoiling again underneath the weight of both her and myself. Grabbing her other wrist, which was in the process of travelling toward my cheek in a hard slap, with my remaining hand, I restrained her as she fought back dramatically against the weight I was leaning onto her lower half of her body.
"Let me go you bastard!" she gave up struggling and looked me in the eyes seething.
"No!" I stated, copying her controlling smile from earlier, "You're gonna listen to me this time," I shook her by her wrists, slightly scared by how happy I was to see the brief pained expression flit across her face. "Nothing that you or Gerard ever say to me makes any sense and I'm getting sick of it, so you're gonna explain everything to me!"
She shook her head simply and then fixed me with a smile that was unnervingly confident for someone in her position. "No, Mikey, I'm not. But what is gonna happen is that you're gonna let go of me and I'm gonna walk out this room." She kept smiling confidently at me, "Then, I suggest, you just carry on with life and let it unfold the way it'll unfold; turn a blind eye like Frank has."
I didn't let go of her, "No, that's not how it's gonna happen!" I barked in her face, still holding tightly to her wrists.
"Yes it is Mikey," my head snapped around to see Frank standing in the doorway, his face blank as he fiddled with the door handle of the half opened door. When I looked back down at Sally she was smiling in relief? "Mikey, let go of her!" Frank demanded calmly and for some reason I did, I let go of her wrists and pushed myself away from her and away from the bed.
I pushed past Frank too, shoved him out of the way and flew the door fully open before running through it and down the hall to the fire exit, not caring that I was only dressed in my boxers and not caring that I didn't have a clue why I was running, but still knowing fine damn well where I'd end up.
"You can't help Sara!" I heard sally's voice as she shouted down the hall to me. "Don't bother Mikey, you're the one that'll be left fucked up!"
I kept running, thinking about what Sally had just shouted; maybe I couldn't help Sara, but maybe Sara could help me?
DAMN, I don't even know what's happening right now-lol. Well, I do kind of, but everything's getting confusing. ARGH...I'm angry at myself!
Thanks again for the reviews, they've all been so kind. (this'll be the chapter i get a flamer-lol)
Sign up to rate and review this story