FicWad

Well.
here's to the new chapter
hope you like it, I worked hard :]


My eyes shot up at his face as my heart dropped. Just the sound of his all-too-familiar voice was enough to make me panic. All the wonderfully terrible memories seemed to rush back into mind. I felt like running to the back room and hiding until the party was over, or at least taking another few shots. He looked just as shocked as I felt, standing there nervously scratching the back of his head. We just stood there for a few moments, staring at each other, as we gathered ourselves. "Ugh..." I began to stutter, which was something I normally did under pressure. I gulped down the large lump in the bottom of my throat. "Ryan...?"

He let out a goofy smile as he awkwardly moved in to envelope me in a friendly, loose hug. I was still in slight shock, and didn't really realize the hug until his hands we pulling me closer. "Oh God, Lila, I can't believe you're here", he said breathlessly in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

We separated from our hug and looked at each other. He seemed almost exactly the same as I remembered him, with his striking features and intense eyes. "I model now." I began, getting more smooth and natural toned with each word I spoke. "This is my agencies party." I glanced over at Quinn, who was still stuffing her face over at the food table, and gave her a panicked glare. She quickly caught the hint and began to make it over.

"Wow..." Ryan began in awe. "So this is it. We both got our dreams answered?"

That only what he'd like to think. That life was a perfect mess of wonderful people, free shit and adoring fans. God, what the hell was that Wentz guy teaching my boys? I suppose Ryan hadn't been introduced to the world of drugs, sex, and alcohol yet. "Yeah, everything is... well everything is exactly what I expected."

Quinn finally began to make her way over as she stood on the other side of me. "Hey... Quinn Swanson..." She introduced herself as she released a hand. He took it invitingly and shook it lightly. "You're that Ryan Ross kid, the one from Panic! At The Disco?" she asked. He nodded as she continued. "So you're in the band with Brendon?" he nodded again. She raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Interesting."

He waited a few moments while the awkward silence sunk in to each of us, then built up the courage to open his mouth. "Uh...." He looked over at Quinn and smiled. "Do you think that we could maybe talk alone for a few minutes? You know, catch up and everything?" he asked politely.

She smiled and nodded, giving me a quick wink as she walked away. I looked up at Ryan with a petrified expression painted onto my face. We stood there again, things being both awkward and very uncomfortable. I turned around so I was facing the bar, tilted my head back, and downed the nearest drink, then looked over at Ryan, took his hand, and led him out to the back of the building. "So..." I began as I took out a cigarette from my pocket. "This is how we both turned out?"

"I guess..." Ryan said softly as he leaned against the brick wall. He looked me up and down, mostly noticing the cigarette it was lighting. "You know... as kids you were never much of a smoker or a drinker. In fact, I remember you being a really straight edge kid."

As I kid I was in fact very straight edge. It was hard to believe that that was only two years ago. But back then I was consumer in the "scene" and didn't know what to think of believe. "People change", I replied bluntly as I took another drag of my cigarette.

"I didn't think you would, Lila. You were the most amazing person that I'd ever..."

"Please", I interrupted. "Ryan..." I turned so I was facing him completely. "We were kids and we had our little fling. We had our good times and we had fights and we had that one time when we thought everything we felt was real. But I don't want to go back, Ry. I can't go back to being that girl anymore."

He seemed surprised, more then I would have expected him to look. "Lila, what we felt was real. I don't care if you want to deny it to anyone else, to protect your image or whatever. But don't lie to me. I know that everything we had was real."

"It was all we knew."

"Don't you get that it doesn't matter? All we knew was love then. Everything we felt and everything we did was..."

"Was because we were dead ends. These are our dead ends, Ry. At least this is mine. And nothing I can do will fucking change who I've become. Everything I've felt up to now was nothing. This is the life, the dream. This is everything I've ever wanted. And after thinking about everything, I realize that if I could change things and make them different, I wouldn't." my words seemed to hit him hard. "I realized that if I really loved you, I would have stayed. And if you really loved me you would have come out and found me sooner."

"I wrote every single song for you; every single God damn one and you think that you can fucking tell me whether I loved you or not? I know you did, and I know I did and I know that that's all I have to know, because those we're the best fucking years of my life. Spending time with you and being together. But your right, people do change, Delilah, and sometimes for the worse." He took a pause, as he looked me straight in the eyes, his piercing mine. "I saw you standing inside and thought that maybe we could pick up where we left off, or at least be cool with each other, but I guess not. Fame fucking ruined you Delilah.

there ya have it
you think this is dramatic, this is only the beginning
god im lame :]
reviews and rates would be lovely
6+ for a new update.