Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Each Touch Belongs To Each New Sound
o-m-g
lauren acutally wrote a semi-long chapter!
let's partayyyy
¢¾
I looked at him straight in the eyes, as if challenging him. He thought he was so much better then me, but no, he really wasn't. He didn't have talent; he had to fucking stalk some b-list bassist just to get his demo looked at. I had class and went out and got what I deserved. "Fame made me," I sneered. "Fame made me what I am and fame is a hell of a lot better then what I ever would have turned into by staying with you", I stormed out of Ryan's sight and back into the building. I pushed people aside until I was at the bar. Being already a little tipsy, I stumbled onto the stool, and ordered yet another round of shots.
Quinn rushed up to me with a smile across her face. I really wasn't in the mood for laughs and just the way she looked made me want to throw up. She walked up to me and giggled slightly as I returned her look with a scowl. Her grin suddenly deflated into a slight frown as she sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" she asked as she rubbed my shoulder. "Everything with you and Ryan seemed to be going fine when you two left for outside."
"I knew things were going to be bad", I began as I set my head down on the bar top. "I knew that I did the right thing by leaving. That fucking jackass..." I said softly as I slid my hand into my bag. The baggy I was looking for was still at the bottom where I had left it. I sat up and looked over at her. "I need to go to the bathroom."
"Do you want me to go with you?" she asked, having a concerned tone to her voice.
"No..." I said softly as I jumped off from the stool. "I just think I really need to be alone for a few minutes."
She nodded slightly as I breezed pasted her and began walking to the bathrooms. It seemed as though the people in the room were all looking at me. I couldn't tell whether it was in admiration or just being rude. Nevertheless I walked past each and every one of them until I got to the bathrooms. I walked in and found an endless sea of guests all lined up to use them. I let out a panicked huff and got in line.
A few minutes had past and the line seemed like it hadn't moved an inch. I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor in frustration. But then, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a back room, almost like a dressing room, that looked empty. I stood up and discreetly walked over and stepped inside, closing the door behind me softly. I looked over the room. It was small, with a couch and small TV, then in the back there was a table with a few fruit baskets arranged on them. I walked back to the table and carefully set them onto the ground. Then, reaching into my bag carefully I took out the small plastic baggy. I undid the top and carefully pored the whitish substance onto the table in a straight line. I closed the bag again and put it back into my purse.
I began to think. Everything Ryan said was right. Nothing I ever did now I was proud of. My life, my job, my friends, all wore down hard on me, leaving nothing. The only thing keeping me in line was the cocaine. I wanted him more badly then I could have ever admitted to. I was now a drug-abusing model, who had nothing in her life to live for. I leaned over the table, leaving my nose not even an inch from the powder as I inhaled heavily, causing it to go up my nose, at first burning, but then fulfilling my massive craving.
Suddenly, I heard someone come through the door. I was too preoccupied to turn around, though. A few moments later, a heavy hand was on my shoulder and pulled me down to the floor. I looked up and saw Quinn. She quickly fumbled to clean up the excess amount of powder that sat on the table. "Lila, not here", she began softly as she brushed it off the table into her hand. "You can't do this now..."
My head began getting hot as I wiped my nose. "I'm sorry..." my eyes began to fill with tears as my whole body began to feel useless; and tears began rolling down my face. "I'm so sorry, Quinn...I'm such a goddamn..."
She pressed her finger to my lips, hushing me. "Lila, fucking pull yourself together." She said, her voice shaking in frustration, as she pulled me up to my feet. "We have to go up there in front of everyone and make a speech. In like five minutes."
At the time I really couldn't have cared less about the whole speech situation. I allowed Quinn to take my hand and lead me out of the room and into the main room. The people all were still staring at me like they were before, and I still had no idea why. She suddenly stopped as the head of the agency, Jarred Spelling, walked up to front of the room and began to speak.
My full attention was up at him, until, out of the corner of my eye I noticed Ryan standing there with his band, his eyes focused on me. He began to approach me as I held on tightly to my bag. A few moments later he was not but a foot from me. "Delilah, I have to talk to you", he whispered softly as he took my arm and began to pull me to the back of the room. I looked over at Quinn, who nodded, as Ryan led me to the back of the room. "Look..." he began as I stared straight up into his eyes. "What I said and how I acted was wrong..."he looked back and Quinn for a moment and then back at me. "But what you did was wrong too. If your not man enough to admit that its fine with me, but I just thought I'd be an adult and say something..."
The room began to spin slowly, and my head began to hurt so badly, I felt as if I was going to vomit. "I uhhh...." Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and pull me back. I nearly fell backwards. Quinn had a strong hand on my arm and was pulling me up to the front of the room. Apparently it was time for us to make our speech.
As we reached the front I felt all the eyes fall on us. "This past year has been really great for us..." Quinn started off as she glanced over at me. "We've reached so far and achieved more then either of us has ever imagined." She stopped, obviously hinting me to say something. I felt her push my side a little also, urging me to speak.
But the lights were now fading down and the light was focused on me. the room began to spin faster and faster. "Uh...and Jarred; he's...he's really a great guy. None of this would have happened if it weren't for..." I couldn't finish. I suddenly felt a warm liquid running from my nose down to my lips. I brought my hand up and wiped it away, noticing its red color and texture. The room grew dead silent as I stared all around. Everyone's expressions seemed to be in awe. I quickly rushed down, then through the mob of people. I could hear someone running behind me, probably Quinn.
I escaped into the vacant dressing room I had found before; barricading myself behind the door as I began to hear Jarred control the immediate talk of all the guests. I suddenly fell down upon the couch began to cry, cradling my face within my hands. The drugs and the liquor were both controlling an enormous part of what I did and felt. But then I heard a faint knock at the door. I waited for a voice to ask themselves in.
"Lila; please let me come in." I stood up and walked to the door as I wiped away the tears and made sure there were no more streams of blood coming from my nose. I reached for the handle and turned it slightly, opening the door just a crack so I could see her. "Lila, sweetie; let me in", Quinn asked softly, caringly as she squeezed her way through the crack, then trapping me in a hug.
The tears began to pour out faster then I head ever felt before. "Quinn I just screwed everything up!" I cried as I dug my face into her neck. "My job, my reputation! I just fucking flushed my whole life down the goddamn toilet!"
She began to rock me back and forth at a slow and steady pace. "Sweetie... I told you to fucking wait until we got back to the apartment", she said softly; strangely in a caring tone. I suppose she could tell it wasn't helping, and carried on. "Everything is going to be just fine. We'll tell them it was a nosebleed. You'll keep your job and the tabloids will chase you for a week; it wont be that big of a deal, promise."
"You really think?"
"I know, honey", she said softly as she kissed me on my forehead. Just then, we suddenly herd a knock at the door. The fists sounded heavy and the voices were deep. Quinn stood up angrily and started towards the door, "I'll handle this", she said forcefully. She got to the handle and opened it quickly. "Do you have any fucking idea what this girl is going through right now!" she screamed. The boys all stopped in their tracks. I looked behind her and saw Ryan shaking in his shoes just at the sight of Quinn. "She's having an emotional breakdown, because now everyone out there is gonna think she's on goddamn drugs, when all she had was a little nose bleed and a few extra drinks."
Ryan stormed past her and up to me. I looked at him confused as to why he would even want to talk to me right now. "Come with me..." he said quickly as he took my hand and pulled me up. I was drunk, and when some gorgeous guy says 'come with me' you're pretty tempted to do so. I stood up and went with him no problem until Quinn grabbed my arm.
"You aren't going anywhere." She said to me. "And you aren't taking her anywhere" she told Ryan protectively.
Ryan gave her a strange look and then back at me. "Please tell me that it's not fucking true..." he asked quietly. Quinn gave him a blank look back as she pulled me back over to her. "Tell me that this girl is not on drugs..."
"I'm not on drugs...I had a Goddamn nose bleed", I chimed in from the back. They both turned and looked back at me awkwardly. "What?" I asked, totally without a clue.
"She had a nose bleed", Quinn repeated logically.
"I don't believe you..." he began. "I know my Delilah and this isn't her. She hasn't been herself all night, and drugs are the only possibility." He took a pause as he looked back at me. "She couldn't have meant those things that she said."
Quinn looked at me with a strange expression. "You really should go. She's drunk and I need to get her home."
Ryan nodded, as if he were thinking hard about the whole situatio. "Hey..." he began just as we were leaving. Quinn looked back, her hand tightly gripping onto mine to i wouldnt fall over. "Please, have her get ahold of me when she can..."
aha there ya go
new chapter done :]
the comments last time were insanely awesome
i'd love it if you guys are as generous this time around :]
lauren acutally wrote a semi-long chapter!
let's partayyyy
¢¾
I looked at him straight in the eyes, as if challenging him. He thought he was so much better then me, but no, he really wasn't. He didn't have talent; he had to fucking stalk some b-list bassist just to get his demo looked at. I had class and went out and got what I deserved. "Fame made me," I sneered. "Fame made me what I am and fame is a hell of a lot better then what I ever would have turned into by staying with you", I stormed out of Ryan's sight and back into the building. I pushed people aside until I was at the bar. Being already a little tipsy, I stumbled onto the stool, and ordered yet another round of shots.
Quinn rushed up to me with a smile across her face. I really wasn't in the mood for laughs and just the way she looked made me want to throw up. She walked up to me and giggled slightly as I returned her look with a scowl. Her grin suddenly deflated into a slight frown as she sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" she asked as she rubbed my shoulder. "Everything with you and Ryan seemed to be going fine when you two left for outside."
"I knew things were going to be bad", I began as I set my head down on the bar top. "I knew that I did the right thing by leaving. That fucking jackass..." I said softly as I slid my hand into my bag. The baggy I was looking for was still at the bottom where I had left it. I sat up and looked over at her. "I need to go to the bathroom."
"Do you want me to go with you?" she asked, having a concerned tone to her voice.
"No..." I said softly as I jumped off from the stool. "I just think I really need to be alone for a few minutes."
She nodded slightly as I breezed pasted her and began walking to the bathrooms. It seemed as though the people in the room were all looking at me. I couldn't tell whether it was in admiration or just being rude. Nevertheless I walked past each and every one of them until I got to the bathrooms. I walked in and found an endless sea of guests all lined up to use them. I let out a panicked huff and got in line.
A few minutes had past and the line seemed like it hadn't moved an inch. I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor in frustration. But then, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a back room, almost like a dressing room, that looked empty. I stood up and discreetly walked over and stepped inside, closing the door behind me softly. I looked over the room. It was small, with a couch and small TV, then in the back there was a table with a few fruit baskets arranged on them. I walked back to the table and carefully set them onto the ground. Then, reaching into my bag carefully I took out the small plastic baggy. I undid the top and carefully pored the whitish substance onto the table in a straight line. I closed the bag again and put it back into my purse.
I began to think. Everything Ryan said was right. Nothing I ever did now I was proud of. My life, my job, my friends, all wore down hard on me, leaving nothing. The only thing keeping me in line was the cocaine. I wanted him more badly then I could have ever admitted to. I was now a drug-abusing model, who had nothing in her life to live for. I leaned over the table, leaving my nose not even an inch from the powder as I inhaled heavily, causing it to go up my nose, at first burning, but then fulfilling my massive craving.
Suddenly, I heard someone come through the door. I was too preoccupied to turn around, though. A few moments later, a heavy hand was on my shoulder and pulled me down to the floor. I looked up and saw Quinn. She quickly fumbled to clean up the excess amount of powder that sat on the table. "Lila, not here", she began softly as she brushed it off the table into her hand. "You can't do this now..."
My head began getting hot as I wiped my nose. "I'm sorry..." my eyes began to fill with tears as my whole body began to feel useless; and tears began rolling down my face. "I'm so sorry, Quinn...I'm such a goddamn..."
She pressed her finger to my lips, hushing me. "Lila, fucking pull yourself together." She said, her voice shaking in frustration, as she pulled me up to my feet. "We have to go up there in front of everyone and make a speech. In like five minutes."
At the time I really couldn't have cared less about the whole speech situation. I allowed Quinn to take my hand and lead me out of the room and into the main room. The people all were still staring at me like they were before, and I still had no idea why. She suddenly stopped as the head of the agency, Jarred Spelling, walked up to front of the room and began to speak.
My full attention was up at him, until, out of the corner of my eye I noticed Ryan standing there with his band, his eyes focused on me. He began to approach me as I held on tightly to my bag. A few moments later he was not but a foot from me. "Delilah, I have to talk to you", he whispered softly as he took my arm and began to pull me to the back of the room. I looked over at Quinn, who nodded, as Ryan led me to the back of the room. "Look..." he began as I stared straight up into his eyes. "What I said and how I acted was wrong..."he looked back and Quinn for a moment and then back at me. "But what you did was wrong too. If your not man enough to admit that its fine with me, but I just thought I'd be an adult and say something..."
The room began to spin slowly, and my head began to hurt so badly, I felt as if I was going to vomit. "I uhhh...." Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and pull me back. I nearly fell backwards. Quinn had a strong hand on my arm and was pulling me up to the front of the room. Apparently it was time for us to make our speech.
As we reached the front I felt all the eyes fall on us. "This past year has been really great for us..." Quinn started off as she glanced over at me. "We've reached so far and achieved more then either of us has ever imagined." She stopped, obviously hinting me to say something. I felt her push my side a little also, urging me to speak.
But the lights were now fading down and the light was focused on me. the room began to spin faster and faster. "Uh...and Jarred; he's...he's really a great guy. None of this would have happened if it weren't for..." I couldn't finish. I suddenly felt a warm liquid running from my nose down to my lips. I brought my hand up and wiped it away, noticing its red color and texture. The room grew dead silent as I stared all around. Everyone's expressions seemed to be in awe. I quickly rushed down, then through the mob of people. I could hear someone running behind me, probably Quinn.
I escaped into the vacant dressing room I had found before; barricading myself behind the door as I began to hear Jarred control the immediate talk of all the guests. I suddenly fell down upon the couch began to cry, cradling my face within my hands. The drugs and the liquor were both controlling an enormous part of what I did and felt. But then I heard a faint knock at the door. I waited for a voice to ask themselves in.
"Lila; please let me come in." I stood up and walked to the door as I wiped away the tears and made sure there were no more streams of blood coming from my nose. I reached for the handle and turned it slightly, opening the door just a crack so I could see her. "Lila, sweetie; let me in", Quinn asked softly, caringly as she squeezed her way through the crack, then trapping me in a hug.
The tears began to pour out faster then I head ever felt before. "Quinn I just screwed everything up!" I cried as I dug my face into her neck. "My job, my reputation! I just fucking flushed my whole life down the goddamn toilet!"
She began to rock me back and forth at a slow and steady pace. "Sweetie... I told you to fucking wait until we got back to the apartment", she said softly; strangely in a caring tone. I suppose she could tell it wasn't helping, and carried on. "Everything is going to be just fine. We'll tell them it was a nosebleed. You'll keep your job and the tabloids will chase you for a week; it wont be that big of a deal, promise."
"You really think?"
"I know, honey", she said softly as she kissed me on my forehead. Just then, we suddenly herd a knock at the door. The fists sounded heavy and the voices were deep. Quinn stood up angrily and started towards the door, "I'll handle this", she said forcefully. She got to the handle and opened it quickly. "Do you have any fucking idea what this girl is going through right now!" she screamed. The boys all stopped in their tracks. I looked behind her and saw Ryan shaking in his shoes just at the sight of Quinn. "She's having an emotional breakdown, because now everyone out there is gonna think she's on goddamn drugs, when all she had was a little nose bleed and a few extra drinks."
Ryan stormed past her and up to me. I looked at him confused as to why he would even want to talk to me right now. "Come with me..." he said quickly as he took my hand and pulled me up. I was drunk, and when some gorgeous guy says 'come with me' you're pretty tempted to do so. I stood up and went with him no problem until Quinn grabbed my arm.
"You aren't going anywhere." She said to me. "And you aren't taking her anywhere" she told Ryan protectively.
Ryan gave her a strange look and then back at me. "Please tell me that it's not fucking true..." he asked quietly. Quinn gave him a blank look back as she pulled me back over to her. "Tell me that this girl is not on drugs..."
"I'm not on drugs...I had a Goddamn nose bleed", I chimed in from the back. They both turned and looked back at me awkwardly. "What?" I asked, totally without a clue.
"She had a nose bleed", Quinn repeated logically.
"I don't believe you..." he began. "I know my Delilah and this isn't her. She hasn't been herself all night, and drugs are the only possibility." He took a pause as he looked back at me. "She couldn't have meant those things that she said."
Quinn looked at me with a strange expression. "You really should go. She's drunk and I need to get her home."
Ryan nodded, as if he were thinking hard about the whole situatio. "Hey..." he began just as we were leaving. Quinn looked back, her hand tightly gripping onto mine to i wouldnt fall over. "Please, have her get ahold of me when she can..."
aha there ya go
new chapter done :]
the comments last time were insanely awesome
i'd love it if you guys are as generous this time around :]
Sign up to rate and review this story