Categories > Cartoons > G.I. Joe

Walk in the Woods

by Nickelina 0 reviews

Beachhead leads a training mission, but his team has other things in mind

Category: G.I. Joe - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Beach Head, Lady Jaye, Other - Published: 2005-10-07 - Updated: 2005-10-07 - 1598 words - Complete

3Funny
Disclaimer: Characters in this work (GI Joe/ Cobra) are the property of Marvel Comics, Hasbro
and Devil's Due Publishing, Inc., and they are being used without permission. No profit is gained from the use of these characters. All movie titles and quotes are just used for fun, also not my property.




Walk in the woods
By Nickelina


The cold October wind blew on the small team that was engaged in night exercises in the north woods. Beachhead, who was leading this team, had them deep in the forest, with no radio contact. Their objective was to infiltrate the enemy team, and secure their base before they were discovered.
He was less than pleased with his team. He considered Low-Light an asset but other than him he had to deal with Mainframe, Lady Jaye, and Ripcord. They had already successfully accomplished the task earlier in the night; however, they were discovered trying to steal two other teams' rations at the mess, and he thought that having them go out one more time would be a sufficient punishment. If they were not already acting goofy enough, they were almost out of control by the time he had them in the woods. He reminded himself to talk to Hawk about breaking up their little clique. Together, the four of them could get nothing done. Give someone the opportunity to goof off and they always take it way too far.
Currently, Beachhead had to stop for the second time because they were walking as Lady Jaye put it, a herd of elephants.
"We already know where the base is, Beach. Why can't we just rush it?" She questioned him.
"We follow procedure, Lady Jaye."
"But technically, there isn't anyone there. So we aren't sneaking up on anyone."
"Enough!" He silenced her with a hand gesture. "We are going to take the base from the north this time. Let me explain it again to you in case you didn't hear it the first time." He addressed everyone.
"There is an enemy base within four miles of our current location. We need to ambush this base, and secure it."
"Got it, Beach. Let's go." Low-Light told him.
The further they walked, the colder the wind blew. A fog began to roll in from the hills that surrounded them.
"Stay away from the fog..." Mainframe whispered to Lady Jaye.
She responded with a stifled laugh. "That was a bad movie. Suspenseful, but bad at the end."
"Who's talking?" Beachhead asked.
"Mainframe." Lady Jaye responded.
"Funny, Jaye, I thought I heard your voice."
The team kept walking ahead.
"Hey Low-light, what is your favorite scary movie?" Mainframe asked.
"I don't have one."
"Sure you do." Ripcord walked up to Low-light until they were side by side. "You stay up all hours of the night."
"Okay, how about, Night of the Living Dead."
"Ooh, that's a good one!" Lady Jaye walked up behind Beachhead and put her hands on his shoulders. "Brains! Brains!"
Beachhead stopped in his tracks. "Knock it off. Jaye, get your hands off me. How many times do I have to tell you all to be quiet."
"I have a good one," Ripcord whispered to the other three when Beachhead was a few feet in front of them.
"Shoot." Mainframe told him.
"They float down there."
"It." Beachhead said.
"So, you want to play our little game?" Jaye asked.
"No. I don't want to play your game. I hated that movie. Clowns are just...unnatural."
"It scared you, Ha!" Ripcord laughed.
"Just for that, you can take lead." Beachhead gave him a shove and Ripcord moved ahead of the team.
They walked in silence for a little while. The fallen leaves crunching under their boots.
"Do you know what this reminds me of?" Mainframe asked.
"A recon mission?" Beachhead answered.
"No, Camp Crystal Lake."
Lady Jaye walked up behind Mainframe. "Nah, I don't think so. Unless..." she paused and turned toward Beachhead. "That face mask is really a hockey mask!"
"What are you talking about?" He asked her, annoyed.
"Jason? Friday the 13th?" She questioned, waiting for a spark of recognition.
"You're stupid. That movie was stupid."
"Which one? There are like 15 of them." Mainframe asked.
"All of them. If those kids would have been attentive and aware of their surroundings, none of that shit would have happened." Beachhead pushed forward.
Low-light moved a head of Beachhead, Lady Jaye and Mainframe. "None of that shit would have happened anyway. A dead guy walking around with a machete, would never happen, not in real life."
"I'm only gonna say it one more time, shut up." Beachhead demanded.
He walked ahead of the team taking lead again. Low-light was walking beside him and Mainframe was behind them, leaving Lady Jaye and Ripcord behind. It was a few minutes before Beachhead realized that the two were not with the rest of the team. He turned around and pointed his flashlight towards where they were last seen. He found them standing in the darkness. Lady Jaye had one of her javelins in hand mimicking cutting Ripcord's arm off.
"Damn them!" Beach swore under his breath as he ran back to where they were. He got there just as Jaye repeated her arm cutting gesture.
"You know what? My friend makes good omelets!" She said as Beachhead ripped the javelin out of her hands.
"What is the matter with you?" He asked.
"Nothing." She said in between giggles. "I was doing an impersonation of Leatherface. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Although he didn't say the omelet line, I just like that one."
Beachhead handed her the javelin back. "You are in the lead now. And if I hear you say one word, one peep out of your mouth, you will drop and give me 100. Is that understood?" He looked over at Ripcord. "That goes for you too."
Beachhead stood next to Lady Jaye and put his hand on her shoulder. "What is wrong with you tonight? I have never seen you act like this."
She shrugged her shoulders at him, maintaining her silence.

It was another hour the team spent walking. This time they were almost in complete silence. Lady Jaye stopped and signaled. Low-light came up behind her and he too saw the base they were looking for. Beachhead called over the rest of the team and they huddled together to get details of how they were going to secure it.
The base was nothing more than an abandoned house. The windows were boarded up and it was not hard to tell it had been a long time since anyone had lived there. As Beachhead took a better look at it, Ripcord reached over and poked Mainframe.
"You know what this looks like?" He said.
"Oh god, don't even say it." Lady Jaye whispered.
"The house from the Blair Witch Project." Mainframe answered for Ripcord.
"Creepy." Lady Jaye shook from shivers that crawled up her spine.
"Come one, Jaye, that movie scared you?" Ripcord asked.
"No. Just the house part. It was creepy."
Beachhead gave Lady Jaye the evil eye. And she immediately shut up.
"Okay, Ripcord, you will go in first, Low-light will follow. Mainframe will take the second floor and Jaye you will take the basement.
"Oh hell no!" She said a little louder than she thought. "I am not going in the basement."
Beachhead looked at her, perplexed. "For someone who was pretending to be Leatherface tonight, are you scared now to go in that house?"
"Just the basement."
"Tough. Suck it up, Solider." Beachhead slapped her on the shoulder.
"Just watch out for the guy standing in the corner." Mainframe laughed.
"You're a jerk." Lady Jaye said.
"Oh my god. You are scared!" Ripcord teased her.
"I said I'm just creeped out."
Beachhead sighed. Was anything tonight going to go smoothly? "Fine, Jaye, you will go in last and take the main floor."
The team moved closer to the house. Ripcord leaned on one side of the doorframe and Low-light was on the other. He signaled Beachhead that they were ready.
Beachhead looked back at Lady Jaye. "Ready?"
"Yeah, but if you see little bloody hand prints on the walls, holler."
"Jesus." Beachhead shook his head at her. He made a gesture with his hand and Ripcord pulled the door open.
Ripcord rushed inside and up the stairs, while Low-light made his way though the main floor.
Mainframe entered and made his way down the stairs to the basement.
Beachhead followed ripcord up the stairs, and Lady Jaye went the opposite way from Low-light.
"Mainframe, clear!"
"Jaye, clear!"
"Low-light, clear!"
"Ripcord, clear!"
They waited for Beachhead to call his area clear. When they did not hear him, the three gathered at the bottom of the stairs. One by one, they made their way up. They saw Ripcord standing at the top.
"Beach?" Lady Jaye called. "Beachhead?"
There was no answer.
Out of the darkness, they saw a figure approach. It stopped just short of where they could see it in the shadows. It took one more step forward.
"Boo!" Beachhead yelled.
He startled the rest of the team.
"You didn't scare us." Lady Jaye told him
"Like hell I didn't." He laughed. All of you get outside. Let's get back to base."

Beachhead felt good about his joke. Finally, on the way back, they were all as quiet as he wanted them to be on the way there. That was until he heard Lady Jaye humming. Ripcord joined in and finally Mainframe began singing. "One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three four, better lock your door..."
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