Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Situation Hopeless
Chpt 23: Giving birth to more than just new problems.
3 reviewsThis maybe the longest chapter in this story. It was a blast to write. Evie is an amazing character, I love her to pieces. REVIEW!!!
4Funny
Chpt 23: Giving birth to more than just new problems
One week and some painfully awkward good-byes later Evie, Pete, and I have settled into life without the rest of the band. Evie decided that since Pete would be staying with me, it was a good idea the she stayed too. I can't say I disagree.
Lately the only solitary place I've found is the bathroom. For the most part I can lock the door and not be pestered. With the exception of this exact moment apparently.
"Now!" Evie's scream is muffled by the bathroom door.
"Excuse me?" I yell in reply struggling to pull my pants up as I move for the door. Once open Evie's cries are more coherent.
"Now, baby, contractions!" She screams again.
"Mrahamcnmfuck." Pete mumbles through a mouthful of cereal from his spot on the couch.
Evie and I exchange a glance before both turning to face him, "What?"
"I said, Mrahamcnmfuck"
Evie and I exchange a glance again before both rolling our eyes at him. "Hospital?" I offer gesturing toward the front door.
Evie's face transformed from annoyance to panic in a split second, "No time! Baby! Now!"
It is at this point that Pete and I share a collective , "Shit!"
Earning the exasperated response from Evie of, "Pretty much."
"I'm calling the doctor." I say running to the kitchen to retrieve the cordless phone. Pete stands from his position on the couch and begins to pace in front of Evie.
"Good plan." He says rubbing his chin.
"Uh...Hello!" Evie exclaims after a minute or two has passed while Pete and I pace around her, me still on the phone, Pete still rubbing his chin.
"What?" We both stop to look at her.
"Labor! Pain! Fucking Hurley!"
"Oh right!" Pete says as we resume our pacing.
"The doctor says to head to the hospital."
Evie gives me a pained look, when she speaks her voice is shaking with annoyance, " There is no time Ane. This bastard is coming now!"
"Don't curse the kid Ev, he hasn't done anything."
"Sure he has, he's inhabited my uterus, and given me stretch marks and made me crave MEAT!" She screams before quickly falling back to the sofa. The door bell rings causing the three of us to glare at the unseen visitor behind the door.
"I got it!" Pete calls before jumping over the ottoman on his way to the door.
" Yo dude, and dudettes!" Dirty's voice bellows through the apartment as he make his way past a slack jaw Pete.
"Dirty, sweetheart, we don't have time for company right now. Evie is kind of in labor." I smile from behind the kitchen counter.
"Sweet. Can I watch?" Is the only response he offers before making himself at home next to her on the couch.
I shoot him look before turning my attention back to the woman who is cursing a certain drummer's ability to spawn, "Evie, the paramedics are on their way. I just need you to hold out for like...ten minutes."
If death glares were actually capable of causing death, I wouldn't be breathing right now, "Ok then," I say turning to Pete "Plan B?"
He looks at me somewhat strangely with an arch eyebrow, "We have a plan B?"
"You damned well had better!" Evie screams as another contraction hits.
Somehow in the course of the past fourty-five seconds Pete ended up on the floor in front of a now pantless Evie, who has her feet on either of his shoulder, with a towel around his shoulders and bowl of warm water on the floor in front of him. I'm standing between him and where Dirty sits, laptop before him, reading birthing instructions off of a site he found through google.
"Ready?" Dirty asks looking to Pete, who is currently a shade of white I've never seen on him before. Pete nods slowly before turning to lock eyes with Evie. She has what can only be described as, the worst possible facial expression ever known, but nods with gritted teeth.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I interject, only to have three heads pop in my direction, "What? I was just asking."
"Okay, Evie on three you're going to bear down on your hips and push. Ane go grab her hand, and keep talking to her. Pete, just tell him when you see the head." Dirty instructs continuing to read the directions. I do as I'm told and whimper only slightly as the life is squeezed out of my fingers.
"I SWEAR I'M CUTTING OFF HIS VEGAN BALLS!" Evie roars through her pain as she pushes.
"Now Pete, do you see the head?" Dirty asks not taking his eyes from the screen.
"Uh huh." Pete says weakly as his color changes from white to somewhat green.
"Good, then we're almost there, Evie I'm going to need you to push again, this time hold it until Ane counts to ten. Pete, keep your eye on the head, tell me when it starts to emerge."
We all agree and begin to follow our separate instructions.
"Oh god," Pete mutters before swaying slightly.
"Oh no Mr. Wentz, you're not passing out on me when I have a kid still lodged two thirds of the way in my birth canal." Evie lets out in a low growl.
The doorbell sounds, I drop Evie's hand and run to answer it. If ever there were a time to use the phrase "Saved by the bell" now would be it, the paramedic whizzed past me into the living room.
The next several minutes are hazy until the cry of a new born breaks into the semi-silence. "A boy." The woman in a blood covered white shirt smiles brightly holding up the baby.
Evie's eyes brim over with tears, as do mine. The woman hands the baby off to her partner so that he can clean and check him. "Round two." She says. Evie and I exchange a look with each other as well as the paramedic.
"Round two?" I stutter. She nods.
"There is a second baby, I noticed the dual heartbeats when we hooked up the monitor, you didn't know?"
We both shake our heads, Evie lets out a deep breath followed by, "So, no one bothers to inform me that I have not one but two of them living in me?" The paramedic shrugs and tells Evie to get ready to push again. She does as she's told and a few seconds later another cry fills the room.
"A girl." The woman says this time, still smiling. When she held the messy baby up, Pete lost his composure and fainted, falling utter graceless to the floor beside me.
By this time the boy had been cleaned up and passed inspection for a clean bill of health, the male paramedic handed him to Evie before moving on the clean up the baby girl.
While we fawn over the newborns Evie is brought down stairs so that she and the babies can be taken to the hospital for proper medical care.
Later when I'm standing in front of the nursery, watching the nurses put Aiden and Reane in their places. Pete, now having recovered from his fall, stands beside me.
"Yours will be twice as beautiful." He whispers breaking the silence hovering over the hallway.
"Nah, what if they get Patrick's ears?" I say trying to lighten the mood, only to fail. He shrugs and walks away disappearing around the corner. This is going to be a long two weeks.
One week and some painfully awkward good-byes later Evie, Pete, and I have settled into life without the rest of the band. Evie decided that since Pete would be staying with me, it was a good idea the she stayed too. I can't say I disagree.
Lately the only solitary place I've found is the bathroom. For the most part I can lock the door and not be pestered. With the exception of this exact moment apparently.
"Now!" Evie's scream is muffled by the bathroom door.
"Excuse me?" I yell in reply struggling to pull my pants up as I move for the door. Once open Evie's cries are more coherent.
"Now, baby, contractions!" She screams again.
"Mrahamcnmfuck." Pete mumbles through a mouthful of cereal from his spot on the couch.
Evie and I exchange a glance before both turning to face him, "What?"
"I said, Mrahamcnmfuck"
Evie and I exchange a glance again before both rolling our eyes at him. "Hospital?" I offer gesturing toward the front door.
Evie's face transformed from annoyance to panic in a split second, "No time! Baby! Now!"
It is at this point that Pete and I share a collective , "Shit!"
Earning the exasperated response from Evie of, "Pretty much."
"I'm calling the doctor." I say running to the kitchen to retrieve the cordless phone. Pete stands from his position on the couch and begins to pace in front of Evie.
"Good plan." He says rubbing his chin.
"Uh...Hello!" Evie exclaims after a minute or two has passed while Pete and I pace around her, me still on the phone, Pete still rubbing his chin.
"What?" We both stop to look at her.
"Labor! Pain! Fucking Hurley!"
"Oh right!" Pete says as we resume our pacing.
"The doctor says to head to the hospital."
Evie gives me a pained look, when she speaks her voice is shaking with annoyance, " There is no time Ane. This bastard is coming now!"
"Don't curse the kid Ev, he hasn't done anything."
"Sure he has, he's inhabited my uterus, and given me stretch marks and made me crave MEAT!" She screams before quickly falling back to the sofa. The door bell rings causing the three of us to glare at the unseen visitor behind the door.
"I got it!" Pete calls before jumping over the ottoman on his way to the door.
" Yo dude, and dudettes!" Dirty's voice bellows through the apartment as he make his way past a slack jaw Pete.
"Dirty, sweetheart, we don't have time for company right now. Evie is kind of in labor." I smile from behind the kitchen counter.
"Sweet. Can I watch?" Is the only response he offers before making himself at home next to her on the couch.
I shoot him look before turning my attention back to the woman who is cursing a certain drummer's ability to spawn, "Evie, the paramedics are on their way. I just need you to hold out for like...ten minutes."
If death glares were actually capable of causing death, I wouldn't be breathing right now, "Ok then," I say turning to Pete "Plan B?"
He looks at me somewhat strangely with an arch eyebrow, "We have a plan B?"
"You damned well had better!" Evie screams as another contraction hits.
Somehow in the course of the past fourty-five seconds Pete ended up on the floor in front of a now pantless Evie, who has her feet on either of his shoulder, with a towel around his shoulders and bowl of warm water on the floor in front of him. I'm standing between him and where Dirty sits, laptop before him, reading birthing instructions off of a site he found through google.
"Ready?" Dirty asks looking to Pete, who is currently a shade of white I've never seen on him before. Pete nods slowly before turning to lock eyes with Evie. She has what can only be described as, the worst possible facial expression ever known, but nods with gritted teeth.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I interject, only to have three heads pop in my direction, "What? I was just asking."
"Okay, Evie on three you're going to bear down on your hips and push. Ane go grab her hand, and keep talking to her. Pete, just tell him when you see the head." Dirty instructs continuing to read the directions. I do as I'm told and whimper only slightly as the life is squeezed out of my fingers.
"I SWEAR I'M CUTTING OFF HIS VEGAN BALLS!" Evie roars through her pain as she pushes.
"Now Pete, do you see the head?" Dirty asks not taking his eyes from the screen.
"Uh huh." Pete says weakly as his color changes from white to somewhat green.
"Good, then we're almost there, Evie I'm going to need you to push again, this time hold it until Ane counts to ten. Pete, keep your eye on the head, tell me when it starts to emerge."
We all agree and begin to follow our separate instructions.
"Oh god," Pete mutters before swaying slightly.
"Oh no Mr. Wentz, you're not passing out on me when I have a kid still lodged two thirds of the way in my birth canal." Evie lets out in a low growl.
The doorbell sounds, I drop Evie's hand and run to answer it. If ever there were a time to use the phrase "Saved by the bell" now would be it, the paramedic whizzed past me into the living room.
The next several minutes are hazy until the cry of a new born breaks into the semi-silence. "A boy." The woman in a blood covered white shirt smiles brightly holding up the baby.
Evie's eyes brim over with tears, as do mine. The woman hands the baby off to her partner so that he can clean and check him. "Round two." She says. Evie and I exchange a look with each other as well as the paramedic.
"Round two?" I stutter. She nods.
"There is a second baby, I noticed the dual heartbeats when we hooked up the monitor, you didn't know?"
We both shake our heads, Evie lets out a deep breath followed by, "So, no one bothers to inform me that I have not one but two of them living in me?" The paramedic shrugs and tells Evie to get ready to push again. She does as she's told and a few seconds later another cry fills the room.
"A girl." The woman says this time, still smiling. When she held the messy baby up, Pete lost his composure and fainted, falling utter graceless to the floor beside me.
By this time the boy had been cleaned up and passed inspection for a clean bill of health, the male paramedic handed him to Evie before moving on the clean up the baby girl.
While we fawn over the newborns Evie is brought down stairs so that she and the babies can be taken to the hospital for proper medical care.
Later when I'm standing in front of the nursery, watching the nurses put Aiden and Reane in their places. Pete, now having recovered from his fall, stands beside me.
"Yours will be twice as beautiful." He whispers breaking the silence hovering over the hallway.
"Nah, what if they get Patrick's ears?" I say trying to lighten the mood, only to fail. He shrugs and walks away disappearing around the corner. This is going to be a long two weeks.
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