FicWad

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"So what do we do from here? I mean, I can't really kiss Brian's face and feel right about it," Andy asked Allison as the two walked towards Brian's house.

Allison snorted loudly. "Well that's okay; I don't think I can kiss my own face."

Her own face smiled back at her, which she found incredibly strange, but Andy only laughed at her response. "And what is wrong with kissing this face? It's a beautiful face."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so cheesy!"

He shrugged. "What can I say? You have that affect on me." He extended Allison's small hand and laced his fingers through hers and smiled.

"It feels weird being bigger than you," Allison commented. "It feels even weirder talking to myself when I can see me..." Andy laughed at that which only caused Allison more discomfort. "And its even weirder hearing me laugh like that..."

"Okay, okay...but you do know that this is how I see and hear you everyday."

Allison shuddered. "That's unfortunate."

"Okay, self beat up time is over. You had your five minutes of the week, and now your time is up, okay?" He put his arm around her - now - much bigger shoulders and they walked quietly.

"You know," Allison dropped his arm off of her shoulder. "Maybe we should put off touching until this whole thing blows over. It's a little awkward."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well I guess we'll just have to see how long you can last without touching me."

A devilish smirk appeared across her face. "Don't you mean how long I can last without touching your body?"

He gave her a mock glare. "You go anywhere near Bender and I will knock you out."

She snorted loudly and laughed. "Wouldn't that count as beating up your own girlfriend?"

"Actually I am the girlfriend now, so technically I would be beating Brian up, and with your body I'm not too sure how much damage I would get done..." He held up his hands in defense, as Allison looked ready to smack him one. "See! Now that is abuse!"

"You think I'm not tough?" She asked challengingly.

Andy pretended to think about it for a moment. "Well I guess your body would have the advantage of my wrestling knowledge now...I can challenge you to a wrestling match and we can see if you want."

She grabbed him by the arm and flung him towards the Johnson's front lawn, and he surprisingly fell to the snowy ground. Allison was so used to being able to fly at him from all directions and have him not even flinch at her, but now she had the size advantage over him. He laughed out loud as Allison dove to the ground with him, and the two struggled in the snow, rolling from one side of the lawn to the other.

"Okay, you can't use all of your strength that isn't fair!" Andy complained after Allison pinned him to the ground and held his hands over his head. Andy squirmed under the weight. "You know, I now have the advantage of kicking you in the nuts."

Allison stopped momentarily and stared at him. "Doesn't that hurt a lot?"

Andy took the moment of distraction as an advantage and rolled her over onto (Brian's) back and he straddled her hips. "Ha! Who is the king of the world now?!" He broke out into his maniacal laughter.

"Wouldn't you be the queen? And why are you on top of my brother?" Andy immediately jumped off of Allison and stared at the young girl on the Johnson's doorstep.

Allison stood from the lawn and dusted off her jeans. "Hey, Mary. We were just...practicing...for a play."

Her eyebrows rose and she put her hands on her tiny hips. "I'm telling mom on you!"

Allison looked at Andy and muttered, "Is that a bad thing?"

Andy shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know..."

Allison looked back at the younger girl. "Why would mom care anyways?"

Mary stared at her as if she was the stupidest person on the planet. "Duh! She hates that witch girl and I'm gonna tell her that she's your girlfriend."

"She hates me...I mean, Allison?!" Allison glared at the younger girl. "How come?"

"Because she's a witch," Mary stated matter of factly.

Andy cleared his throat. "Witches have brooms and warts on their noses, and do I have any of those?"

Mary stared at him for a few moments. "No, I guess not."

Andy walked up to the girl, making Allison's body look like a total fruitcake in her opinion. He grabbed the younger girl's hand and sat down on the front porch next to her. "You don't have to think I'm a witch just because I like black. Do you have a favorite color?"

She nodded her head. "Purple."

"So would it be fair for me to call you a big ugly grape because you like to dress in purple clothes?"

The little girl laughed loudly at the image in her head. "What about a raison? Or Grimace?"

Andy's eyebrow perked up at that. "Grimace?"

"Yeah! That big fatso from McDonald's!" The little girl was laughing so hard she fell over onto her side. Andy just smiled up at Allison from his vantage point and continued to play along.

"Okay, you look like Grimace!" The little girl fell into another fit of giggles on the front porch. Allison could not believe that he actually got the young girl to like "her". She approached the two and opened up the door behind them, unlocking it so that they could go inside and get out of the cold.

"So, don't get scared of me just because I like to dress in my favorite color, okay? I'm just as fun as Brian can be." The younger girl stared up at Andy admirably and smiled.

"Okay, I think we should be friends. Do you want to come up into my room?" The little girl had a hopeful look on her face.

Andy bit his lip. "Actually I have homework to do, and we all know how important homework is."

The little girl nodded her head understandingly. "My mommy says that homework is more important than friends are. I'll see you later." With that, the girl ran full speed up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Allison stared at Andy. "Well, looks like someone can be the next six-year-old-girl role model of 1985."

He rolled his eyes at her good naturedly. "I think you're jealous of my social skills."

She slumped into the couch and folded her arms. "What're you talking about? I have no social skills..."

Andy slumped down beside her and put his head on her shoulder. "What did I tell you about beating yourself up like that? I was just joking."

She pushed him off of her roughly. "I told you no touching."

He sighed. "Allison, I'm trying here, okay? I don't want things to change just because of this little situation! I'm still me and you are still you and that should be enough!"

She glared at him. "No, you are me and I am Brian. No offense, but my shrink told me that it's unhealthy to argue with myself, so let's just drop it."

"We can drop it, but that's not going to change anything," Andy chipped in.

Allison let out a growl. "Things are changed, Andy! We're in the wrong bodies, in the wrong houses, and we don't know how to get out! What if we're like this forever?"

He placed a hand on her elbow. "We won't be, but for the next little while we're just going to have to stick it through, okay?" He pulled her chin so that she was looking at him. "We need to be there for each other in the meantime."

Allison nodded quietly. "As long as my own body stops molesting me then I'll agree."

Andy burst out laughing at that and leaned back against the couch. "You're such a freak!"

"You're just finding that out now?" She too cracked a smile and began to laugh.

He stood from his spot on the couch and stretched. "I'm going to get going now before Mrs. Johnson comes home and gets you in shit." He walked towards the door and began to pull on his shoes. "Is there anything else you think I need to know before I go?"

Allison curled her legs underneath of her and shrugged. "Besides the fact that I'm getting my period soon, nothing at all."

Andy's face paled considerably and he dropped his shoe to the ground. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Allison burst out laughing. "Nothing, you'll be fine."

"No! I will not leave this house until you switch me bodies!" Allison shoved him out the front door and her body fell into the snow. "Stop abusing me! You can't do this to me!"

Allison grinned evilly at him. "I can, and I did. Now go before I get grounded."

Andy tried to muster his best scary face and pointed a finger at her. "You better sleep with one eye open tonight! I'm so stealing your body! There is no way in hell that I'm..."

"Bye Allison!" Allison called before slamming the door on her complaining boyfriend. She loved to get him riled up, especially when he annoyed the hell out of her. She looked around the house and remembered that she had to take care of Brian's pets.

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Allison placed plates around the dining room table for Diane. Brian's mother had been in an incredibly pessimistic mood since his grandparents had called and said that they were on their way over. The roast beef had been roasting in the crock pot since earlier that morning, and Diane was just now preparing the mashed potatoes, gravy, turnip, and beans for their dinner. Everyone in the house - minus Allison - was extremely anxious about the older couple's visit. Allison didn't care for her own grandparents, so naturally the impending visit of Brian's didn't bother her much - but at the same time, she didn't want to screw things up for Brian. She figured it she kept as quiet and polite as possible, she wouldn't have a problem with them.

"Brian, I need you to go upstairs and get changed for me please." Diane mashed the potatoes without even looking up at her as she spoke.

Allison inwardly cringed at the clothing demand. "What do I have to wear?"

Diane perked an eyebrow at her. "A dress shirt, some dress pants and a tie please." Allison sighed and before she could leave the kitchen, Diane spoke up once more. "And make sure that you match, please!"

Once Allison had finished dressing, she stood in the middle of the room fighting with the tie; she had never as much as held one in her hand before, let alone tied one. She let out a frustrated sigh and dropped onto the bed, temporarily giving up on the tie. She had no idea that it could actually be difficult to dress a teenage boy. She looked in the mirror on top of Brian's dresser from her spot on the bed and sighed; she wasn't going to get anywhere acting like a child. She got up from the bed and tucked in her shirt and left the room to go see Brian's mother in the kitchen. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, two dinosaur-aged people were scurrying in the front door and removing their winter apparel.

"Brian, what on Earth is wrong with you!" The older man nearly shouted at Allison; she nearly jumped out of her skin at the booming sound of his voice. He was a short man - probably only 5'6" tall - and was very skinny; his booming voice did not match his appearance.

"Um...nothing, sir...nothing is wrong with me at all!" Allison gave the man her brightest (albeit fakest) smile and folded her hands behind her back.

"He isn't even dressed fully, Diane! It's his birthday! What is wrong with you?!" Now the older lady was yelling. Allison had never quite been more confused in her life. Diane didn't say anything; she only approached Allison and began to tie up her tie for her.

Allison swallowed hard. "Oh, it's not my mom's fault. This is just a tricky tie...because it's...new, you know." God! She was even starting to ramble like Brian!

"Don't lie to your Grandfather, young man!" Brian's grandpa yelled. "We bought you that tie two Christmases ago!" Allison yelped slightly and looked at Brian's mother for help; she only shrugged and turned to walk into the kitchen to finish making up supper. Already Allison had felt like she'd been screwing things up and supper hadn't even officially begun yet.

"I'm sorry?" Allison responded dumbly. Grandma opened her mouth to pitch in something else, but before she could Mary and Brian's father also came bounding down the stairs. The little girl hesitantly wrapped her arms around Grandma's waist and said hello. She looked just as nervous as Diane did.

"Hello Mom...Dad," Ralph Johnson approached his parents fearlessly and kissed them both on the cheek and welcomed them into the home. The whole situation was so surreal to Allison; whenever her Grandparents came over they all (including her parents) just broke out the bourbon and played bridge without so much of a conversation. Her entire extended family didn't pay much attention to each other, so this new situation was a bit much for her. Before she could hear any more strange bickering she left the living room and went into the kitchen to hide out with Diane.

It was the first time in her life that she had even contemplated running to Mrs. Johnson for comfort.

"Listen Brian, whatever else they ask you or say, please just go along with it," Diane handed Allison a large bowl of mashed potatoes to place on the dinner table. "I don't want to have to get into another school argument this time; you know how they are." She rolled her eyes and moved quickly around the kitchen to make sure their meals were perfect.

She placed the bowl on the table quietly and sat at one of the chairs closest to the kitchen wall. Diane stopped and stared at her for a few moments. "Can you fix your collar please? There is a stain on it, and lord knows what bullshit they'd come up with if they saw you wearing that." Allison raised her eyebrows at Diane's choice of words, but still said nothing and fixed the collar.

After a few moments Grandma, Grandpa, Mary, and Ralph all joined Allison and Diane in the dining room for dinner. It started off fairly silent at first as everyone worked on getting some food on their plates, but of course that didn't last very long.

"So Brian, you're finally a senior this year, and you're in your final term," Grandma began.

Allison nodded her head and worked on not looking at the pile of cow on her plate. "Yes, I like it."

"Well you should! You're almost ready for an Ivy League school!" Grandpa exclaimed sternly.

"Now, dad, Brian has already..." Ralph started, but was quickly cut off.

"You are going to an Ivy League school, aren't you Brian?" Grandma asked.

Diane looked sharply from Allison to her husband. "Brian still has some paperwork to fill out."

"Why on Earth would you wait so long? Are you insane Diane?!" Grandpa yelled, nearly making Allison fall out of her chair. These people were crazy; she was silly for ever deeming her family as the crazy ones.

She remembered vaguely Brian telling her that it was really a State University that he really wanted to go to; in fact, she was positive he'd had his sights set on State University. "I want to go to Penn State." Allison exclaimed, stunning the entire to table to silence.

Ralph was the only one smiling at that point. "Would anybody like a dinner roll?"

"BRIAN!" Grandpa, Grandma, and Diane all screeched at the same time, which kind of scared the jumpy Allison. She dropped her fork, and it fell to the floor with a loud 'clank'.

The whole supper table sat and stared at her as she focused on making her breathing regular again. Mary smiled at her. "When is Allison going to come over again? I think she should be your girlfriend."

Diane glared at the younger girl. "We are not talking about Brian's friends right now!"

"They were rolling around on the grass today!" She looked incredibly happy at that particular scenario, which made Allison want to groan even more; stupid Andy was going to pay!

"You are not dating that girl!" Ralph yelled at her.

"You must drop all of these thoughts about not going to an Ivy League school! That is just ludicrous!" Grandpa yelled.

"When did you plan on telling me this?" Diane yelled at Allison.

Grandma glared at Brian's mother. "Don't you dare yell at him, Diane! This is all your fault! If you would know how to put down your foot and raise your children properly then none of this would have happened in the first place!"

"She's a great mother, mother! Don't talk to her like that, please?" Ralph pleaded with Grandma.

"I spilled my milk!" Mary yelled triumphantly, trying to get the attention away from her 'brother' and back on her where she felt it belonged.

"Ralph please stay out of this, I think we should all just relax," Diane suggested.

Grandpa turned to Allison and pointed a large finger at her. "You've dug yourself a big hole, young man! I hope that this is the last time that I have to warn you to get your head out of the clouds, and start thinking realistically. There's no way in hell that I'm going to let you throw your life away on some shoddy school!"

Ralph cleared his throat. "Dad, Penn State is a great school! They have over 50,000 students...I don't think they'd be..."

"Shut up, Ralph!" Diane, Grandma, and Grandpa simultaneously yelled at him. Allison could not believe the chaos going on at the table.

She stood from her seat and pushed her plate away. "I'm going to my room."

"You will sit down, young man!" Grandma yelled at her. Allison glared at her and jutted Brian's chin out.

"Brian," Grandpa warned. Without another word, Allison stormed up to Brian's room and slammed the door.

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An hour later, a small knock was heard from Brian's bedroom door. Allison had lain on the bed staring at the ceiling during that time, and she was unsure if she could tolerate his family's company at that moment. However, it didn't matter what Allison wanted anyway, as Mrs. Johnson poked her head through the door soon after.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked quietly.

Allison sighed. "They ruined my birthday."

She nodded. "I'm sorry about that, honey."

Allison shrugged. "Whatever."

"Please don't use that tone of voice with me...I'm on your side here." Diane stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind her. She walked gracefully to the bed and sat on the edge of it. "I just wanted to come up here and make sure that you were okay."

Allison bit her lip to think over her words; one slip of the tongue and her cover could be blown. "Our family is crazy, you know that? My friends' families don't act that way. I felt like I was at a zoo."

Diane nodded. "I don't like it either, you know." She tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. "I never knew that you felt that way; you never tell me these things. I can't possibly know if you aren't going to tell me."

Allison nodded, trying to figure out how to make things right. "Am I allowed to go to Penn State? What's the big deal anyways...?"

"We'll talk about university when you get your acceptation letters." She ran a hand through Brian's hair and smiled. "And there's no pressure for you to go to an Ivy League school. Yes, I do want you to have good grades, and I want you to study hard, but you don't have to do whatever your Grandparents tell you to do. We can figure it all out later."

Allison nodded. "Thanks...mom."

Diane smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Whenever you're ready you can come down for a piece of cake, okay?"

Allison rubbed the place where Diane kissed and nodded. "Yeah, okay." The older woman made her way across the floor and out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her, leaving Allison with her thoughts.

She had never seen a side of Mrs. Johnson like that before in the whole time she had known Brian, and not only that, it was the first time that she had a mother-like figure giving her advice in a long time - even if it was advice about Brian's life and not her own. The show of affection had a strange affect on her that made her feel a bit overly emotional. It felt good to know that someone was there for her when she needed it - even if the woman was a bit crazy (and so was her whole family), and even if the woman had no idea that it really wasn't her son that she was talking to.

In a way Allison felt envious of Brian for him having so much support from them; even if his whole family was insanely strict, at least he knew that he had people who cared enough about him to even worry about him anyways. On the other hand however, Allison was beginning to understand why Brian was so uptight and stressed all of the time. She found it very interesting that he had never voiced his opinions to Diane before, especially considering how well she had actually taken hers, but Allison figured that maybe Brian was a bit intimidated by the woman; perhaps he was raised to make sure that he always respected his elders. Either way, Brian's life was a lot more complicated than she ever would have figured.

She always knew that he had his fair share of problems, but she now knew that it took a special and tough kind of person to have so many responsibilities like he did. Not only did he have to worry about those crazy family members of his, but he also had his grades, his pets, his homework, his chores...he had a lot on his plate to juggle for just one eighteen year old kid.

Her stomach rumbled and she figured it was time to set aside her wounded pride and go downstairs and eat. Besides, she figured that the family probably wouldn't even bother saying another word to one another for the rest of the night; they would probably be too pigheaded to give up on their side of the fight anyways. Anyway, she wasn't entirely concerned about what else the Johnson family had to say to her tonight.

She still had to give Brian his detailed report of the night at school tomorrow.

TBC