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I felt myself being shaken awake.

"what?! What!?" I screamed, but was met by the face of Gerard Way.
"you okay Hannah?" he tilted his head towards me. It was really cute. I let out a giggle.
He smiled at me, "what's so funny?"
"nothing, you're just really cute." I smirked, he gave me that famous Way smirk back. I almost melted.

"So you wanna tell me what happened back at the diner?" he questioned.
"oh, well, I..." I tried to think of something to say, while playing with the hem of my shirt and biting my lip.
"you're nervous." He chuckled. I let out a rushed laugh.
"what?"
"youre nervous. When you get nervous, you bite your lip, and sometimes you play with your shirt." He said, his eyes staring directly in mine.
This contact with him was frightening. The way he was acting was making me want to kiss him so bad, but I knew I couldn't. I'm not the type of person to kiss someone when they already have a significant other.
"well see, my cousin is sick. And I guess I just got emotional, that's all." I lied. But even though he knew me so well, I was relieved that he didn't see through it.
"oh, im sorry." He said with a sad face. "maybe a movie will make it feel a little better?" he offered, some of his ebony hair falling in his face.
I went to move it out of his face, but he beat me to it. I sighed and spoke a very quiet "sure".
He went over to my DVD rack and picked out a movie. He popped it in and sat back on the couch with me.
"which one did you pick?" I asked.
"Saving private ryan." He stated, and pressed play.
"oh, I love this movie!" I bounced up and down excitedly. He laughed and said "I know."
We watched the movie curled up on the couch. He never once questioned what happened at the diner that night, and I was thankful.
Near the end of the movie, I looked over at him and took him in.
A boy, about 5'7". Pale skin, jet black hair, and gorgeous hazel eyes. His long hair was so silky, and I wish I could run my fingers through it whenever I wanted to. I frowned, and turned my head back to the screen.
Why can't I have Gerard Way?




I must have fell asleep, and he must have brought me upstairs to my room because I was laying in my bed, underneath the covers.
I glanced over at the clock, which read 9:17 pm.
I got up and went to the mirror. I lazily grabbed a brush and brushed through my hair once. I put it down and walked to the door, peaking out to see if anyone was awake or even home. I heard and saw nothing, so I walked down the stairs to the living room. I sat down on the couch absent mindedly and just starting thinking.

My thinking came to an abrupt end when I heard something crashing through the front door.

Frightened, I jumped behind the couch and peeked my head over the top to see what was going on.
Riley came through the door drunkenly, knocking over a pot and smashing it. He muttered something like "whoo the fuck put that there" and continued into the living room. My breathing was starting to get heavy and I knew I was in deep shit. I heard more loud voices so I kept my attention to the front door.
I wrung my hands in nervousness.

Through the door came a few of his buddies, all drunk as can be. I needed to get out of here, and fast.
They all walked, or more like stumbled, into the living room and kept yelling shit to one another and occasionally laughing at nothing.
There were three, one of the men had a buzz cut haircut and looked really strong. The second was more measly looking, and had a baseball cap covering his medium length greasy locks. The third one was the toughest looking of them all, and had a stubbly face and thin but muscular body, his hair short and matted by sweat to his head.
The one with the buzz cut slurred, "soo riles, wherees-tha stepdaughterrr of yeeers?"
The one with the baseball cap cut in "yeaah, I wantme some ass toniiight!"
I immediately started to panic. I thought about trying to run for it, but they were all much bigger faster then I. I could hear my own breathing shallow, and the best thing I could think to do was try and slip out the door unnoticed.
I started crawling, very very quietly, to the front door. Riley got up, first with some trouble, but regained his balance and stomped over to the stairs.
He yelled up the stairs, "Bitch getchur ass down here!"
He kept yelling and I continued inching my way towards the door. My heart was beating so fast I swear to god I thought it would explode.
I kept going, slowly, slowly, almost there, almost there I repeated in my head.
My heart stopped when I felt someone grab my shoulder and spin me around. The man with the stubble held me viciously as I whimpered in pain.
"Riley, I foundyer giiirl." He slurred making a sick face at me.
I My eyes grew wide as all four of the men laughed and walked over to me. Riley took a swing at my face, and then another and then another. I fell to the ground clutching my cheek and crying. I cried so hard. So hard, because I knew what was going to happen. I knew. I started to cry hysterically.
The man with the buzz cut bent down to me and clocked me in the nose. "Riley, caant youu mak'er shut the hellup?!" He yelled.
I was so scared, I thought I was going to pass out right there. Honestly, I wish I did pass out. I wish I wasn't conscious for everything that happened next. The man with the stubble grabbed me by the collar and dragged me up the stairs. He threw me into my mother and riley's room and slammed the door.
I'll never forget how he had his way with me. I'll never forget how he hit me and took off his belt and whipped me until I couldn't feel anymore. I'll never forget the fact that my virginity, the one I was hoping to lose with the love of my life, was taken from me because I was raped. I'll never forget how through all of this, I thought of Gerard. If I hadn't thought of my sweet Gerard, my best friend, my love, I surely would not have made it through.
I'll never forget how when the man was done with me, he called up the next guy and it happened again. And after that, again. Until every one of them was passed out somewhere in the house and I crawled into my room and into my closet. Naked, abused, sore, and humiliated. I curled up in my closet and I cried so hard that i couldnt breathe.

there was nothing left for me to do, nowhere for me to go, so i just sat there, sobs racking my thin frame.