FicWad

so give me all your poison

chapter 3

The mass of black was almost overwhelming for the four young men. Ray kept giving Gerard nervous glances. They were about 10 or 15 minutes late because the tour bus has broken down. Everyone watched them as they took their seats at the front of the church paying close attention to Gerard. Geez as if poor Gee isn't uncomfortable enough! Thought Ray. The service was terrible. Gerard had been taken out twice and he refused to sing at all. Ray was dreading the part where Gerard would have to go up and say something about Mikey. Frank was acting oddly too. He had hardly said a word since the day of Mikey's death. And when he did it was usually offensive. If this was aimed at Gee, it would set him off again and nobody would see him for hours-even days. Soon it was time for Gerard's speech. He threw up four times before going up and then was only muttering and crying.
"Get Gerard down. It's too much for him. I'll go" Frank whispered to Ray who went and got his friend to sit back down. Ray looked at Gee and all he could think about was how all of his confidence had gone. Ray sighed as Frank began.
"Umm I was Mikey's flat-mate for a while." He said in a dazed way. "Well anyway. Um I just want to tell Gee something. Gee you know the day Mikey died? You said those words about not being ok and never seeing him smile again?" Gee nodded crying. Ray looked up. What the hell was Frank playing at?
" And you know the night you attempted suicide?" Gerard lowered his head and a short sharp gasp escaped his mother and echoed around the silent building.
"Well Mikey said the exact same words to you." Frank broke down in tears and Bob had to help him down he was trembling so much. Gerard sat in stunned silence. Ray looked over worried at his now still friend. Frank had not filled the time gap given for this part. Gerard slowly looked around. Nobody moved. Suddenly he felt a confident rush. Nobody could do this to Mikey! He deserved every moment of praise. He jumped up. The rest of the band just let him. Gerard hadn't talked at all and hadn't moved or eaten much so nobody had the heart to stop him. Gerard set forward tears forming and feeling sick again but determined. This was his baby brother who had always helped him or cared when others wouldn't help or didn't understand. you were never a coward for me so why should I be when you need me? Thought Gerard. He stood next to Mikey and started speaking very slowly, thinking about each word.
"Mikey was the best brother I could've ever asked for. He shouldn't have been taken away from the world at such an early age. He had so much potential and he was so talented. I know that there is always going to be a part of me that blames myself no matter what anyone says but.....well I don't know.....but I got this kinda feeling. Call me crazy- I don't care but I swear I got a feeling. From Mikey. Just now." As this went on the other 3 MCR boys started to see a slight bit of the old confident Gerard back.
"My Chemical Romance was started for a reason. To save lives. When Mikey died a part of me died along with him. But now I realise. Mikey wouldn't want me or Frank or Ray or Bob to be sad. He'd be like " Why the fuck are you wasting time on me? I'm already dead. But you could be out there saving so many more lives!" so that's what I intend to do. I refuse to waste something Mikey worked so damn hard on." Gerard paused and looked down. Suddenly it dawned on him and it was too much for him to bear.
" I killed my own brother!" He yelled. Ray, Bob and Frank ran forward.
"Come on Gee this is doing you no good." Ray held onto Gerard's arms and gave him a little push towards the exit of the church. Gerard Way took one last look at his kid brother then turned and walked away from him-forever.
***
For days that was all that could go through Gerard's head. It was too much. Especially playing "Helena" as the they left. Gerard had lost it. The others were scared he might try suicide again and alerted Brian in case he was needed. Gerard refused to talk untill....
Gerard was looking around his room for his pencil sharpener. Drawing seemed to be the best escape route from reality, when he came across a charm from Mikey. It said "brother" on it. Mikey had an identical one. Gee felt another rush. He slipped the charm on and went downstairs. Ray was waiting for this moment. He hoped Gee would be able to answer his question.
"Uhhhh Gee? You know what you said about the band at Mikey's funeral?"
Gee nodded tears forming.
" Well us -me and the guys-were wondering are we staying together?"
Gerard sighed then slowly turned to face Bob, Ray and Frank. He looked at them all and thought. Then his eye's lit up and he spoke, for the first time since Mikey's funeral.
"Yes. It's what Mikey would want. I know it. I don't know how but I know Mikey wants me and you and the band to carry on."


well thats it! i you likey the story please R&R if not R&R but have a good reason for not liking it! :P untill next story peas out!