FicWad

Lily finished the song and cleared her throat.
She looked at her feet,
"Uh..I think I forgot some words..." she mumbled shyly, smile on her face.
Bert shrugged and stood up with a sigh,
"I thought it was bangin'" he said with a smirk as he stretched.
"Bangin'?" Lily repeated, grinning, blushing slightly.
"Ye-p" Bert mumbled, standing in front of her and crossing his arms.
Lily shuffled her feet, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear,
"Thanks...I don't want to fuck it up for you, you know?" she said, looking up from the cement and wincing at the thought.
Bert shrugged, wrapping an arm around her and guiding her out of the area,
"You aren't going to fuck it up. You did fine...you did..." Bert paused, whispering into her ear as he walked her down the steps, "Awesome."
Lily shut her eyes, smiling at that moment..
At his lips on her ear..his arm around her.
She stared at his hand draped over her, tattooed and bony..fingers long, nails trimmed and bitten down.
Lily wanted to hold his hand and bring it to her face, to kiss his cheeks and forehead, to be pressed against his chest for just a little bit...
To hear the heart of someone so misunderstood beneath her ear...to finally hear within him the vulnerability that few knew he had...
That he was
in fact
human.
But Lily did none of those things, in fact...all she did was squeeze his hand and look up at him with a true smile, with a look of adoration and love.
Bert looked down at her, a look of surprise on his face at her beaming smile.
He smiled back at her and patted her shoulder,
"Ah Lilypad...you're so damn cute." he said, tapping her face softly as he stared off into the distance.
He realized he had forgotten his gatorade...but he didn't care.
He was hydrated enough.
"So uh..." he began, staring at a hangnail on his finger,
"I'll get you...at around the same time..tomorrow.." he said, gnawing at his finger.
Lily nodded, staring at his hand..the various tattoos upon it,
"So..I didn't butcher up the lyrics?" she asked apprehensively.
Bert frowned at his finger,
"Naw..besides, not like anyone can really understand what I'm saying anyway." he mumbled with a shrug, finger to mouth.
Lily pouted her lips in thought,
"Yeah..I guess so."
=-------------------------------=
"It is..so..fucking hot." Lily groaned, hand to forehead as she made high pitched noises of agony.
Will fanned his face with an issue of AP magazine.
It was their off day..and they were headed to the next town.
Lily usually didn't do much on off days...
Most of the time she took a shower.
Someway, somehow, she found a way to be semi-clean.
Lily sprayed herself with perfume as the bus came to a stop.
She readjusted her black head scarf, somewhat askew, framing her light blonde hair and slightly freckled face.
The day she realized a spray of freckles had formed across her nose was the day she carried sunscreen with her wherever she went.
She pulled down her tight, pink t-shirt as she walked to the edge of the bus, leaning over Will to look out the window.
She was wearing a small silver choker necklace, bits of silver intertwined together upon her neck, and cat-eye black liner around her blue eyes. Her hair was up in a bun, black head scarf pinned and framing her side bangs, which Lily constantly tucked behind her ear. She was dressed in simple jeans and converse...bangles jingling at her wrist..chunky costume jewelry on her fingers...a pyramid belt resting at her hips and waist.
"Stopping for gas." the driver announced, pulling the parking break.
Will stood up and stretched as the bus doors flew open with a high pitched squeal.
Lily sighed and walked down the steps into the gas station parking lot, the rest of the band filing out behind her.
She turned to see a few other tour buses pulling in as well.
"I'm thirsty." Will announced, gesturing with his head towards the mini-mart.
Lily sighed and nodded, following Will into the store.
A beep sounded as they entered the doorway.
A balding man at the front counter looked up from his magazine.
Will stood in front of the soft drink selection, staring at all the possibilities.
He decided on a cherry Pepsi and walked over to the counter, paying for it as Lily shuffled through an array of stickers on the front counter, depicting gangsta' cartoons in front of old cars trying to look bad-ass. The girls looked like whores, with excessive amounts of makeup and bad fashion sense, but bad-ass nevertheless. She frowned as she came upon one with the words "Baby Gurl" emblazoned across the front.
She followed Will outside, passing a few band members entering the mini mart.
Most stood in front of their buses as they re-fueled.
Lily spotted Gerard and made her way over to him.
He was leaning against his bus, speaking to his manager and the rest of his band casually, arms crossed.
He smiled upon seeing her,
"Heeeey." he grinned, standing up straight and opening his arms slightly.
"Hi." Lily beamed, waving to everyone as Gerard locked his arms around her, giving her one soft kiss on her temple.
Brian smiled, looking at the way Gerard held her,
"So how's the tour treating you, Lily?" he asked as Gerard argued with Frank about what state they were in.
"Uhmm..." Lily thought aloud, glancing back at Gerard, who was yelling into her ear,
"It's been fine. A bit warm but...hey, I'm doing what I love so...
She trailed off with a shrug of her shoulders, hands holding Gerard's arms, which were wrapped across her stomach as he stood behind her.
Gerard pulled her tighter, resting his chin on her shoulder,
"It is fucking hot." he agreed, kissing Lily on the cheek.
"Gahd..." Frank mumbled, lighting a cigarette,
"I didn't know Gerard was so..." Frank exhaled,
"Affectionate." he finished with a smirk.
Gerard grinned, locking his arms tighter,
"I am VERY affectionate."
Lily's cellphone began to vibrate against her thigh.
She dug it out of her pocket and furrowed her brow as she looked at the screen,
"What area code is this?" she asked as Gerard craned over her shoulder.
Brian glanced at the screen and shrugged.
Lily pulled away from Gerard, brushing his hand with her fingertips as she stepped away to answer the call,
"Hello?"
"Hello, Lily?" a female voice asked.
Lily raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah...? Hi..who is this?" she asked as Will flagged her down.
She waved to him and turned to Gerard, blowing him a kiss.
"Oh..sorry..this is Alyson. Bert's girlfriend." the voice responded.
"Oh..." Lily trailed off, "Hi...nice to hear from you..what can I..help you with?"
She asked, chuckling nervously as she stepped up onto the bus.
"You can help me by laying off Bert." she responded coldly.
Lily paused, mouth open in shock, hand on hip,
"Excuse me?" she asked, a small laugh escaping her throat.
"Back off my boyfriend." Alyson replied as Lily stumbled backwards as the bus lurched forward,
"I've seen the way you guys act together. My friends send me videos and pictures...and I'm just calling to remind you that he's mine."
Will looked up at Lily, brow creased.
She widened her eyes at him as she took a seat on the couch,
"Uh..." Lily mumbled, unsure of what to say,
"Oh...kay..." she said slowly, eyes transfixed on a stain on a couch cushion.
"So we have an understanding?" she asked snidely.
Something in Lily clicked,
"Uh...can I call you back in a second?" Lily asked with a grin on her face,
"I'm losing reception and I can't hear you.."
Lily hung up.
"Um, what the hell?" she asked, sorting through her phone book with a perplexed look on her face.
"What?" Will asked, eyes locked on the tv as he shoved his hand into a box of cereal with a crunch.
Lily pressed her phone to her ear and waved her hand dismissively.
"Hey Bert?"
"Hey Lily..pad." Bert grumbled,
"What's up?" he asked.
Lily could hear the faint chatter of Quinn and Jepha in the background...Branden's high pitched squeals...
"Ah..nothing..." Lily sighed, staring out the window,
"What're you doing?"
"Uh..." Bert mumbled, "Just fuckin'...waiting for the bus to get more gas. Standing out here...eating gummi bears...." he said, the crinkle of the plastic wrapper and the slick squeak of gelatin against enamel sending across the receiver.
"Hmm..." Lily began,
"We just left there....you guys better catch up." she mumbled.
"N-yeah." Bert responded, chewing loudly.
Lily looked at her feet, staring blankly,
"So uh...guess who called me and told me... quote, back off my boyfriend, end quote."
"Na-ha-ha." Bert laughed, still consuming gummi bears, "Who? Does Gerard have a girlfriend hidden somewhere in Malaysia or something?"
Lily laughed softly,
"Uh..no, not that I'm aware of." she began, still spacing out,
"I got a lovely call from Australia..from your little Olivia Newton John...fuckin' Sandra Dee, right?"
Lily muttered the last, listening to Will's hand digging through the cereal box, stretching the cardboard.
"What?" Bert asked in disbelief, "No..fuckin' way. No she didn't." Bert shook his head and walked back into his bus,
"Shut the fuck up."
"Uhmm...nope." Lily said as her phone beeped in her ear,
"In fact..." Lily took the phone away from her ear and glanced at the screen,
"In fact she just text me...and it says..." Lily paused to read it,
"'U didnt just hang up on me'." Lily read aloud, "Yes..yes I did."
"Oh shit.." Bert said through his hand, "No fuckin' way."
"Way." Lily said, monotone, "And you better tell your little fuckin' wallaby to back off. I can't believe after dating you for..however long...she finally decides to freak out on me. I've never even met her." Lily complained, tugging at her shoe laces.
Bert hummed thoughtfully,
"Uh...fuck.." he muttered, "What did she say?" he asked , a bit speechless, and frankly, a bit embarassed.
"She told me to...back off from you and lay off. Charming word choice, might I add." Lily said, walking down the hallway to her bunk.
"Well.." Bert explained, "We haven't been doing so well because..she lives on another continent..or..country...or whatever."
Lily grunted as she lay down.
"And uh..." Bert paused, "She'd been asking about you a lot lately."
Lily raised an eyebrow, running a finger across it,
"And? What?"
"Well..she asked if like, you were seeing anyone and...that her friend sent a video of us..like..in an interview or something and we were..flirting...or...there was a picture of us hugging...and uh.."
Bert paused,
"She's just jealous of you. She sees you as a threat or something. You know how girls are."
Lily shrugged,
"Well, ok, I understand but...can you call her and tell her to fuck off?"
Lily asked, staring at the ceiling.
"Yeah yeah yeah.." Bert mumbled, "I'll do it right now...hold on."
Before Lily could protest, she heard a ringing in her ear.
"I didn't mean a 3 way." she groaned just before a hello sounded.
"Hey..babe. It's me." Bert announced casually.
Lily grinned...babe?
What the hell?
"Oh..hey.." Alyson smiled on the other line, "What're you doing?"
"Uh.." Bert began, "Nothing..." he mumbled,
"Say Hi, Lily."
Lily's eyes widened.
"What?" Alyson asked sharply.
Lily shut her eyes and winced,
"...Hi." she muttered reluctantly.
Lily glanced next to her to see Will standing with a box of cereal attached to his hand, hovering over her...inquisitive look on his face.
Lily waved him away.
"So uh..babe, I heard you were pretty rude to my friend here..and I want you to apologize."
Bert said softly, causing Lily to roll her eyes.
"Um," Alyson began, "How about she apologizes to me for flirting with my boyfriend."
A loud laugh escaped Lily's throat,
"Are you kidding me? No fucking way. Bert..."
"Babe, she doesn't flirt with me, it's ok." Bert began, only to be cut off by Lily,
"And besides, I have my OWN boyfriend."
"Yeah, she does." Bert agreed in support.
"And," Lily continued, "I've had countless opportunities to date Bert, and I never. Ever. Have. So, if you really have THAT big of a problem with our friendship, why don't you fucking tour with him or something instead of trying to pick a fight with me."
"Whoa whoa whoa, Lily.." Bert interjected as Alyson interrupted him,
"I might have to come and tour, seeing as you're all over him ALL the time. What are you, like...the label's resident slut or something?" she asked with a little laugh.
Lily breathed in through her nostrils.
She felt the blood simmering in her veins...
The fire that had been burning so brightly was now rising into her brain...warming her cheeks and licking at her throat.
"First of all," Lily began, hand gestures and all,
"You don't even know me. Secondly, you couldn't even be an unpaid intern at my label, let ALONE the resident slut.." Lily began, sitting up in her bunk,
"WHOA LILY, OK OK." Bert interjected, raising his voice as Lily continued regardless of his attempt,
"And if you knew a damn thing about your supposed 'boyfriend' you'd know that HE'S all over EVERYONE, even fucking guys. So- "
"OK OK." Bert yelled, "Lily..calm down." he added softly, almost pleadingly.
Lily's jaw dropped...
Her cheeks burned red.
"Calm down?! Tell your fucking psycho girlfriend to CALM DOWN, she just called me a slut. She's the fucking GROUPIE."
"HEY HEY HEY." Bert scolded, voice wavering over Alyson's come back.
"LISTEN.." Bert began, silencing both of them,
"Lily and I are JUST FRIENDS, always have been. Nothing's going on between us...nothing has EVER happened between us. So just calm down and-"
"Never call me again." Lily interrupted with aggression.
"LIL," Bert groaned, almost begging her, without words, to stop.
She could almost see his face..the line between his eyebrows...
"...And babe, don't call her again." Bert agreed,
"That's fucked."
"Yes, it is." Lily agreed, "I'm going now...bye."
"W-Wait!" Bert stumbled, "My bus...practice." he added, despite his girlfriend's whine of outrage.
Lily grinned, "Right..." she continued in a sing-song voice, jeering slightly, "See you then."
The last thing Lily heard was Alyson pouting before she hung up.
Lily rested her hand on her forehead and sighed,
"What the..fuck." she whispered under her breath.
She looked up to see Will sitting across from her, crunching on cereal.
"Jealous girlfriend." Lily explained, sitting up.
Will nodded,
"That happens to you a lot."
Lily shrugged, "Yeah...yeah..."
Will closed the box,
"I think it's because..like..." he paused, "You're one of the guys..kind of."
Lily frowned in disagreement.
"Ok ok.." Will began, "It's because you're one of the few girls in the business and..." Will paused, "You're not exactly hideous..."
Lily smiled, "Thanks Will...thanks."
"And.."Will continued, "All these guys are on tour..away from their girlfriends..and you're here..with them. See?" he explained, getting up to put away the box.
Lily nodded, "I guess so..yeah."
Will licked the powdered sugar off his fingers,
"Just...do your thing. But just remember that." he said, sitting next to her and patting her knee.
Lily looked up at him, chin resting in her hand,
"Yeah...I'll try." she mumbled, staring at her leg.

=------------------------------------=

Lily practiced with The Used one last time and walked hastily to My Chem's tour bus.
She walked up the steps and was greeted by a grinning Frank, beer in hand.
"Hey Lily." he grinned, "Say hi to Jamia." he said, gesturing to the couch.
Jamia lay on the couch, looking slightly annoyed and jet lagged.
"Heyyyy." Lily said with a grin, giving her a little wave, "How long are you up?" she asked, hands on hips.
"Uh.." Jamia groaned, hand over eyes, "A week or so...however long I can take it." she said jokingly as Frank sat next to her and rested his head on her shoulder.
"We better hang out..I swear I'm like..over-run by testosterone." Lily said with a sigh, eyes wide.
Jamia laughed, "Of course..maybe some mall time on an off day then?"
Lily grinned and gave her a wink,
"You always know what to say."
Jamia laughed as Lily wandered into the bunk area, spying Gerard playing his gameboy on the bottom bunk.
He didn't take notice of her, transfixed by the screen.
Lily crawled into the bunk, much to Gerard's surprise, planting both her knees on either side of him and lowering herself on top of him with a tired groan, head resting next to his, breasts pressed against his chest, arms laying across his body, legs intertwined with his...hair brushing across his neck...
Gerard's body stiffened at first, an awkward,
"Well HELLO there." as he slowly wrapped his arms around her.
Lily didn't respond, only nuzzled her face into his neck, emitting little sounds instead of words.
"What's up, sugar?" Gerard asked, running his hand down her back.
He could feel the bump of her bra strap beneath his fingertips...
Admittedly so...this was a first.
Lily had never been on top of him...ever...and he had never felt her bra strap..
Well, maybe he had in casual situations..but never like this...never when she was on top of him..
Lily grumbled into his neck, causing Gerard to laugh.
"What is it?" he asked, straining his neck away to stare at her.
Lily propped herself up on her elbows, planting them on either side of him, scooting down slightly so she wasn't hovering over his face,
"I'm just having a hard day so far.." she said with a frown.
Gerard ran his hand across her face,
"I'm sorry ." he said with a sigh, looking into her eyes.
Lily looked away, tracing the lines of his face with her fingers, absentmindedly.
She traced the lines of his smile..his dimples..his sweet, small nose.
She ran her fingers over his eyebrows and softly ran her fingertips through his hair..short and sassy...
"Did I ever tell you I love your haircut?" she mumbled, ruffling it underneath her fingers.
Gerard laughed, looking up at her with a grin,
"Naw.." he beamed up at her, closing his eyes as she ran her fingers over his scalp.
"Did I ever tell you I love your hair too? Down though." he added, cracking an eye open and pulling the hair tie out of her hair in one swift movement.
Lily shrieked as Gerard, in turn, ruffled her hair.
"You messed it up." she whined, plopping down onto him fully, head resting at his neck.
Gerard laughed, trying to smooth down her hair, hair tie and headband in hand,
"No I didn't..it looks good." he said with a smile, staring down at her...
She smiled, staring at the wall..completely content in that moment..
in his warm body pressed up against hers....the feel of his breath blowing softly against her hair..rising and falling with him as he took each breath...being so close to his vocal chords, ear pressed up against his throat as he spoke, feeling the vibrations....
And his arms around her...running across her back...
Lily pushed her body into his and made a grumble of content, snuggling her face into his neck.
"Naww..." Gerard whispered, stroking her forehead.
"Come here." he said softly, patting the space next to him.
Lily opened her eyes as Gerard gentle rolled her over into the empty space on the mattress, pulling her to him in a hug, bodies pressed against one another as they lay on their sides.
He buried his face in her hair...the hair that he had previously ruffled...the faint smell of flowers filling him with a warm glow...
She smelled so good..all the time...
Lily smiled, stroking his head, wrapping her arm around his back and pulling him closer.
She kissed his ear..his cheek..his face as he laid there..eyes closed..small smile across his face.
"Hey honey.." she whispered, watching his tired grin...so sweet and innocent, but far from it.
His fluttering eyelids..that opened just a crack...smiling as he looked up at her.
"Hey." he said, beaming as Lily stroked his face....all his attention on her.
He felt something...the sharp pang in his stomach...
The twisting of his insides with every soft look..every weak smile and brush of her fingertips..
Her blonde hair sweeping across his face as she kissed his forehead...her smooth skin..so soft and pale...
He felt it when she laughed, when she sighed....when she breathed in.
It almost hurt to look at her..to feel things he hadn't allowed himself to feel.
Things he swore he never would again.
And in her gaze...under her gentle hands and the brush of her lips..he forgot it all.
He forgot the feelings of darkness that plagued him...
The overwhelming feelings that crept up on him in the middle of the night..
The feelings of self loathing and hatred...the cold, dark, dense fog of depression..
It all seemed to clear when she was with him..
Only a distant memory..
A nightmare long since forgotten...only the sagging cobwebs clinging to the corners of his mind.
He forgot the pills..he forgot the broken bottles and crushed cans..
He only remembered the days before, spent in her arms..the feeling of her lips pressed against his...the way she would whisper in his ear when she was drunk...that night on the bus, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her to him..the sweet, euphoric feeling spinning through his mind...a mist clouding everything when he first kissed her....
He only wanted to remember those moments with her..and nothing else.
He wanted to forget who he was and what he was..and move forward..with her.
She made his life beautiful..and he..loved for that.
His mind spun at the thought that had graced his mind momentarily..but wouldn't go away.
Did he really love her?
His eyes focused to see her humming underneath her breath as she stared at him...her hand holding his..a look of complete adoration in her eyes.
He felt his heart melting...softening...the barriers he had put around it breaking down...
Fuck.
Maybe he did.