Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Diary of a disturbed mind
Thursday 10th April
My mum is making me write in a journal. She said i have too much on my mind and she wants me too write it all down. Haha!
Like she even cares about me! I never get to see her. And when I do see her all she does is nag me about the state of my room or how my grades are falling. She's always at work and never at home then she whines about me not talking to her. Well maybe if she was acctually here to talk to i would. God i can't stand her. I hate her so much. Nothing i do is ever right for her. I try to do something and it's wrong so whats the point in even trying. I stopped trying along time ago.
And dad is no better. He's probally the worst. My mum would start then he'll join in but he his methods of punishments are far worse then mums. The worst mum's ever done is slap me. I wish that was the worst dad had ever done. I can't even decide on a worst for him. I thinky they expect me to be a perfect fucking angel. Well i've got news for them. I'M A FUCK UP! I am a huge mistake and dad even admitted that once. They want me to be perfect! Well i can't do that because that's not the way i am. I can't tidy my room perfectly and get perfect grades and reports or never be late so i wish they would just stop screaming at me and shut the fuck up.
They want me to be like my brother, Mikey. Ha! Catch me EVER being like HIM! He's the worst brother i could have asked for, if i had the choice. He's sooo brilliant at everything and soo perfect at everything. You'd think he was a fucking goody-two-shoes but i know the truth. He's such a bastard. And when i tell him that guess who gets stick. That's right. me! He NEVER gets wrong for anything cause he's too perfect to make a mistake. Grrrrrr.
I wish Granpa was still here. I've always been close to my granma Elena and Granpa Loui. Granpa died a few months back. I miss him so much. I just wish i hadn't asked him to come pick me up. Then maybe he would still be here. It's all my fault he died. I was staying at a friends while my mum and dad were away but we had argument and i rung granpa asking him to pick me up. He got im his car and drove towards the house i was at but some stupid fuck ran over a red light crashing straight into him. It was all my fault. If only i hadn't called him. If only me adn Frank hadn't had that argument maybe he would still be here and maybe i would have someone to love. All i have is my granma and she can still be horribly annoying at times but granpa never was. He let me be me and that was that unlike all the other fuckers in my life.
Oh great i just remembered. It's Friday tomorrow wich means its school Bully The Freak day. It seems like that day everyday but the preps have made Friday the 'official' day. Gah! I know i'm stupid little fuck up and don't need to be reminded of that every sing mother fucking day! Least of all tomorrow! At least i have Art first. The Art teacher Miss Hanbell is quite young and she's really kind. She adores me for my artwork. Ha! It's all an act really. I do crappy sketch of Dracula and she's all "Oh Gerard! That's wonderful! You really should be a prefessional artist some day! You make so much money! I wish i had talent like you!" Then walks off. Wich really confuses me cause if she didn't have 'talent' then why the hell did she get that job? And sheesh lady i don't need to be fucking praised so much byyou of all people. I'm already a 'freak' i don't wanna be a 'Geek' too. Oh god imagine the names i'd get for being a 'freak geek'. What's really funny about these kids is that they think that they are insulting me when they call me a vampir when really they are pleasing me. I've always wanted to be a vampire even when i was little. My mum used to call me The Devil's Child cause she's like REALLY religous and stuff. Yeah thanks mum!
God i wanna talk to someone but i can't. I haven't got any credit on my mobile and if i used the house phone dad would insist on listening in. gah! Can't i even speak on the phone in private?
I am going to go now and probally wallow in self-pity or torment Mikey. I haven't decided wich yet. Maybe the first. -sigh-
XOXO
G.
My mum is making me write in a journal. She said i have too much on my mind and she wants me too write it all down. Haha!
Like she even cares about me! I never get to see her. And when I do see her all she does is nag me about the state of my room or how my grades are falling. She's always at work and never at home then she whines about me not talking to her. Well maybe if she was acctually here to talk to i would. God i can't stand her. I hate her so much. Nothing i do is ever right for her. I try to do something and it's wrong so whats the point in even trying. I stopped trying along time ago.
And dad is no better. He's probally the worst. My mum would start then he'll join in but he his methods of punishments are far worse then mums. The worst mum's ever done is slap me. I wish that was the worst dad had ever done. I can't even decide on a worst for him. I thinky they expect me to be a perfect fucking angel. Well i've got news for them. I'M A FUCK UP! I am a huge mistake and dad even admitted that once. They want me to be perfect! Well i can't do that because that's not the way i am. I can't tidy my room perfectly and get perfect grades and reports or never be late so i wish they would just stop screaming at me and shut the fuck up.
They want me to be like my brother, Mikey. Ha! Catch me EVER being like HIM! He's the worst brother i could have asked for, if i had the choice. He's sooo brilliant at everything and soo perfect at everything. You'd think he was a fucking goody-two-shoes but i know the truth. He's such a bastard. And when i tell him that guess who gets stick. That's right. me! He NEVER gets wrong for anything cause he's too perfect to make a mistake. Grrrrrr.
I wish Granpa was still here. I've always been close to my granma Elena and Granpa Loui. Granpa died a few months back. I miss him so much. I just wish i hadn't asked him to come pick me up. Then maybe he would still be here. It's all my fault he died. I was staying at a friends while my mum and dad were away but we had argument and i rung granpa asking him to pick me up. He got im his car and drove towards the house i was at but some stupid fuck ran over a red light crashing straight into him. It was all my fault. If only i hadn't called him. If only me adn Frank hadn't had that argument maybe he would still be here and maybe i would have someone to love. All i have is my granma and she can still be horribly annoying at times but granpa never was. He let me be me and that was that unlike all the other fuckers in my life.
Oh great i just remembered. It's Friday tomorrow wich means its school Bully The Freak day. It seems like that day everyday but the preps have made Friday the 'official' day. Gah! I know i'm stupid little fuck up and don't need to be reminded of that every sing mother fucking day! Least of all tomorrow! At least i have Art first. The Art teacher Miss Hanbell is quite young and she's really kind. She adores me for my artwork. Ha! It's all an act really. I do crappy sketch of Dracula and she's all "Oh Gerard! That's wonderful! You really should be a prefessional artist some day! You make so much money! I wish i had talent like you!" Then walks off. Wich really confuses me cause if she didn't have 'talent' then why the hell did she get that job? And sheesh lady i don't need to be fucking praised so much byyou of all people. I'm already a 'freak' i don't wanna be a 'Geek' too. Oh god imagine the names i'd get for being a 'freak geek'. What's really funny about these kids is that they think that they are insulting me when they call me a vampir when really they are pleasing me. I've always wanted to be a vampire even when i was little. My mum used to call me The Devil's Child cause she's like REALLY religous and stuff. Yeah thanks mum!
God i wanna talk to someone but i can't. I haven't got any credit on my mobile and if i used the house phone dad would insist on listening in. gah! Can't i even speak on the phone in private?
I am going to go now and probally wallow in self-pity or torment Mikey. I haven't decided wich yet. Maybe the first. -sigh-
XOXO
G.
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