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I twitched my thumbs against each other nervously. The wind caught my hair for a moment, to snap me out of my entranced state.
"The wake starts in fifteen minutes." Pat said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Everything cool?" He asked, sliding an almost protective arm around my shoulders.
"Yeah. I'm fine." The boy led me into the small church, which felt a little odd- he was younger, yet he was the one counseling me and helping me along. It wasn't odd; I was just used to the older people picking up the slack.
"Elisa. How nice of you to come." I almost cringed at the sound of the man's voice.
"Hello, Mr. Yeblonski." I responded, sticking out my hand for him to shake. He shook it firmly, an expressionless look plastered to his face.
"Elly, I missed you so much!" Before I knew it, Mrs. Yeblonski was embracing me.
"Hi Mom." I said, hugging her back.
"We've all missed your energy. Now who's this?" The little woman asked, stepping back from me to look at Pat.
"Oh, sorry. This is Patrick Stump, a friend I was staying with." Patrick smiled, and my Mom pulled him into a hug. The boy blushed shyly as she let go.
"Oh, don't be shy. If you're a friend of El's, you're a son of mine." I smiled. The woman probably felt nothing for the loss of Kien- Tom Yeblonski (my father) had been the closest to him. She was terrible at hiding emotions- she couldn't pretend to be sad when she was happy or vice-versa.
"You need to tell me about Jersey. Oh, and what about the boys you're staying with?" Mom raised an eyebrow.
I smiled politely, instantly knowing what she meant.
"My boyfriend's name is Michael Way." And that started the conversation.

The service was over quickly. I sat in the second row of the Holy Transfiguration Othodox Church. Of the small crowd in the church, the only person that shed a tear seemed to be Kien's girlfriend.
Pat sat quietly, his timid expression making me feel like he was bored- we probably should go.
"I'll see you later, I hope." My mother embraced me quickly, let me go, and turned to pat.
"Thank you so much for coming." She gave him a hug, and I let out a puff of air. So it wasn't bad to see them... No fights.
My father stayed from me, ignoring my conversations with his wife.
"It was nice seeing you, Elise." I gave a fake smile at my ex-father and shook his hand roughly. The man repeated the act to Pat, and we soon left. I didn't dare look over to Kien in his casket.

When in the car, my phone vibrated and- like usual- it scared me.
"Yep, hi. Scared the shit out of my like normal." I said into the phone, and Pat laughed.
"Hiya El. 'Tis Mikey." I smiled... 'Tis was a funny word.
"Caller ID is a wonderful thing, lovie."
"Oh... Yeah. Anyway, you won't believe what Frankie did today."
"I'm sure I can. What now?" With a smirk I shifted in the seat. Frankie could be an idiot...occasionally...
"Okay, so remember when you stuck the knife in the toaster and Bob freaked?" I sighed.
"Uh-huh..."
"And then he told you to convert to plastic knives? Well, that time you stuck a plastic knife in there and it melted, it got all gooey at the bottom. And today Frankie was all worn out and stuff, you know, partying. So when his toast got like, glued to the bottom, he disassembled the whole thing." I smiled. Sounded more like something Mikey would do, though...
"So you need a new toaster?" I asked, running a hand through my hair.
"Nah. I'm trying to put it back together..."
"And you unplugged it, right?"
"Oh shit." My mouth dropped. How could he have not unplugged it?
"Mikey!" I heard him laughing.
"Jeez, you fell for that? Wasn't even that much of a joke." I wrinkled my nose. Yeah, it was pretty stupid to fall for that.
"I'm just tired. Pete kept hitting me in his sleep."
"You slept with Pete?" Instantly realizing my mistake, I continued.
"No, 'course not! C'mon, Mikey. I slept on the floor, he slept in the couch. Long arms, he has... Really long arms."
"Oh... Okay. Good." For a moment I wondered why he had doubted me- I was a pretty honest person. Shrugging off the thought I leaned into the chair. "Gerard's been acting depressed for a while. I don't know why... But it's really bad, I think." The almost random remark traced through my head.
"Did you ask him what's up?" I asked, sitting straighter.
"Yeah. He says everything's fine. But he's been getting drunk a lot now and just sort of sulking in the bus when we go out to eat or something. It's pretty weird." I shook my head... that couldn't be good.
"When I get back I'll see what's up. Or try to... If you can't get through to him, I probably can't either, though." Letting out a sigh I rubbed my cheek with my left hand.
"Well, I gotta go, Elly. I'll see you soon."
"Love you, Mikes." I said, smiling slightly.

"What's up?" Pat asked finally, and I sighed.
"Gerard's been depressed for a while. Don't really know why."
"Oh... Mikey couldn't get through to him?"
"No."
"So... Nobody will be able to get through to him, then?"
"Yep."
"And you have no idea what's wrong?"
"No... Mikey didn't get into detail. All he said was that he was getting drunk a lot and sulking alone in the bus or something... I just hope he..." I trailed off, the words caught in my throat.
"You hope he," Pat came in, and I closed my eyes for a moment.
"I hope he doesn't start hurting himself."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you'll miss me." I said to Joe, giving him a hug. "'Cause I'm that likable." He rolled his eyes and I turned to Pete.
"'Ello, mate." The boy said, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I believe you mean good bye."
"Like, what-ev." I smiled and he let go of me, only to be pulled into a hug by Andy.
"Aww, Mandy. Imma gonna miss you." He sighed at the nickname as he released me. "Yeah. You love the nicknames, don't you?"
"Elly, I guess I'll see you later. Hope Gerard's okay." I nodded and pulled Pat into a tight hug.
"Thank you so much for everything." He released me and smiled.
"You're welcome." The boy replied. "Tell everyone I said hi."
"Ooh, and me!"
"Me three!"
"Tell them I love them!" We all looked at Pete like he was an idiot. "Sorry, I just had four Red Bulls. Ignore me." I nodded and smiled.
"See ya." I waved and slid out their apartment. Catching a taxi wasn't my greatest skill...
- - - -
SAN FRANSISCO
10:47 PM
- - - -
I stepped out of the taxi and pulled out my wallet.
"Hey, babe, come back in the car with me and I'll make it free." The taxi driver, a 30 year old brown haired man winked at me and smiled.
"No thank you, sir. I have a previous engagement with my boyfriend." I slid the money out of the wallet and handed it to him. Before I could slide my hand back, though, he grabbed it. Giving my cold knuckles a kiss he accepted the money.
"A shame." He said as I hurried away.
I found the bus easily enough, just where Mikey had told me when I called him on the airplane. Because of my late flight, I figured they would be out partying- what else would the boys do at approximately eleven o'clock on a Friday?
Spare key in hand, I opened the door to the tour bus and stepped inside. No lights were on- it was almost completely pitch black.
"They could've at least left one light on." I muttered, shutting the door behind me and turning on a light. My backpack slid to the floor, along with my navy blue Chicago hoodie I had around my waist.
As I turned, I shrieked.
Furiously I dug in my hoodie pocket on the floor for my cell phone. Finding it, I dialed three numbers.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"I think... my friend... just tried to kill himself..."


The light in the lamp flickered off. Ignoring it, I fell to my knees next to Gerard on the floor.
'We'll be there as fast as we can,' the man had said. Maybe fast wasn't fast enough...
I picked up the nearest cloth, which was a towel. Hurriedly, I wrapped it around his slit wrists. The pulse was weak from major loss of blood... but it was there.
"Gerard, if you die on me I'll kill you!" I muttered, feeling tears form in my eyes. He moaned and turned his head, the unconscious body unmoving other than that. "Gee, you're not supposed to go. Not now, not here. Gerard... I love you. Like an older brother." I leaned over his face, alchohol thick on his breath.
His breathing began to slow.
"Hey, not yet, okay? Not yet..." I wiped his bloody, sweaty black hair out of his pale face. "Gerard, no..." My nose was inches from his, tears falling of my face like a waterfall. "I knew I liked you from the moment I met you. I remember Frankie was a dumbass... He invited me, a complete stranger into the house to watch movies randomly. The idiot. I remember how you dared me to sleep in the same bed as Mikey... I knew I loved him from that moment on. Keep breathing, Gee, keep breathing..." His breathing was faint, and I felt like my chest would heave right off my body. "If you die, what will Mikey do? You can't, Gerard, you can't!" Was that... sirens in the distance? Maybe it was...
"Gee, you're a handsome, honest, artistic and creative man. I don't know one girl who wouldn't date you. You can't throw that away... Not now...You have so much ahead of you, Gerard. You're such a talented guy..." My words were in hushed gasps of whispers, my hands grasped around the bloody towel. "Gerard, I love you. You're like a brother to me, you know that... And I know this sounds selfish, but you can't die on me now. You can't die on me..." My cell phone began ringing, and I recognized it as Mikey's ringtone. Shakily I picked it up, my face still inches from Gerard's.
"Mikey, get to the tour bus, now. It's Gerard... I already called 911." I dropped the phone on the ground and placed my hands back on Gerard's.
"Come on, Gerard. You can do this. I'm going to lead you through this. If you don't make it, I won't make it. That's a deal." He opened his eyes weakly, and started to talk when I shushed him.
"Just breathe." I said, hope building up in me again.
"I'm sorry," He breathed out, and I shook my head.
"Just breathe, Gerard, just breathe..."
"I'm really sorry..."
Gerard Way's eyes went wide.