Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Kroger Boy
"Love &Surprise Visits"
23 reviewsGerard is a 20 year old gay male who has a son with the local slutty girl in town. He works 3 jobs one of them being a local Kroger. Then one day after his shift ends at Kroger he meets a high-sch...
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Reviews
Kroger Boy
(#) DoNotBeAFreak 2007-09-18
I really like this story. It's not cheesey like a lot of other Ferard's tend to be.
P.S. I've worked at a Kroger for almost three years now. It sucks major ass and I can make more money cashiering at H.E.B. but I don't becauses I'm stuck there now.Kroger Boy
(#) Jamie-core 2007-11-30
Must Update Please.
I Really Like This.
is Very Different from the other Fan Fics ive read.
This FanFic is well it seems so real, and you actually know alot about MCR where other fan fic writers only know what they look like, and their Music.
But i love this FanFic.. BEST EVERR
=]Kroger Boy
(#) Somnambulist 2007-12-24
I CHECK EVERY DAY!
IT'S CHRISTMAS, AND I AM CHECKING!
Pwwwwweeeaase?
I'll be your best friend!Kroger Boy
(#) measuringthesun 2007-12-30
Neat, great job!
I like your story, it's really cool and original. I like the whole idea of Frankie being a high school kid and Gee having a kid. I also like Mikey in the story, and the girl, though I think inserting a little bit of more of her background and Frankie and her background would be great. I miss Bob and Ray's presence though.
I think your story could be improved by adding even more of their thoughts and feelings, since the chapters are quite short. In addition to that it seems like some small parts in the chapters are missing, I suppose it's not intentionally, it's just that you skipp writing scens and that makes the story seem a little bit choppy. I would, to give you constructive critisim also, add some scens here and there to improve the fluency of the story. Their action are also sort of random or out of the blue. How they act is not really extremly motivated, which kinda makes it hard for you to understand why they're really doing these thing.
But all in all I feel that the has great potential, and I'm gonna keep reading this. I also liked that they kissed, even if in my opinon their feelings are a bit sudden. Though that's probably just 'cause I like a lot of bulid-up, I like the build-up angst the best.
I hope you won't hate me for criticizing you. I, myself usually feel pretty happy when I get criticism, and I tried to make it as constructive as I could.Author's response
CRITISM IS WHAT I NEED!!! Thank you and I am sorry I haven't been updating and I will take your constructive critism into mind. Thank you for your compliments as well. and above all thanks for reading.Kroger Boy
(#) My--Toro--Romance 2008-08-03
WAHEY. A fanfic you can actually read! I love it!
PLEASE more!!
...WOW though!!Kroger Boy
(#) KirstinRevenge 2008-08-24
Updates!
I so love this story.
keep writing...
much frerard please.
haha
-Kirstin
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