Categories > Movies > Pirates of the Caribbean

Hate Me

by MissLady 1 review

Jack is leaving...just like he always does. Will's POV. ***=songlyrics

Category: Pirates of the Caribbean - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama, Romance - Characters: Jack, Will - Published: 2007-04-18 - Updated: 2007-04-19 - 1273 words - Complete

"I love you, you idiot!" I yell, with a childish stomp of my foot. Even in the horrible situation we're in, you flick a grin in my direction. I feel even more anger flare up within me as a response.
"Sor'y love," you say. "S'not safe ta' fall fo' a pirate. Ask anyone." I rush toward you, my hand raised, ready to strike you. "No!" You yelp, and grab my forearm as you fight me off. I want to hit you just once; just once and I'll be done. I yell at you in incoherent sentences, just letting the anger, the frustration, the lust, and the love flow out in words that I don't even understand.

*I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head.
They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed.
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone.
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home.
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain.
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space.

How could I have loved you? How could I have been so stupid?!? You're not the type that's supposed to be loved, and yet, everyone loves you. It never affects you; you never think on it. To you, all the people that send you love are just lust-sick fans of your notorious pirate persona. They don't know you; they don't really care, do they? They just think you're a good-looking, adventurous pirate. They have no clue of what you go through. They don't know you. To them, you're Captain Jack Sparrow, but to you, you're Captain Jack Sparrow. I know, it's different.

*Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

My adrenaline flow has started to slow down. I hate that. I want to hit you; to make you pay for what you did; for what you're doing. But, I just can't bring myself to have the strength. It comes to me, I start, and then it's gone and I'm left looking up into your deep-chocolate gaze...just like I am now.

*I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night.
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight.
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take.
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind.
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.

It'd be so much easier if you could tell me you hate me. At least then, I'd know you have a reason for leaving. "Will, I hate you. I hate you for the burn scars on your fingers. I hate you for your brown hair and hazel eyes. I hate you for loving me the way you do." That's all you'd have to say. Tell me all the reasons you hate me, so it won't hurt as bad when you leave. Tell me you hate me, Jack.

*Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

You stare down at me, your calloused thumb running over my high cheek. I realize we're crumpled on the floor, me in your arms, just like it always ends up. But there's something different this time...I'm not the only one crying. Hot tears are creeping into your eyes and sliding out the corners to fall down your tanned cheeks. We stare at each other, slightly fascinated with our tears. I've never seen you cry, Jack. You're beautiful when you cry. You're vulnerable now, with the wetness pouring, melting the chocolate in your're beautiful.

*And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave,
kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made.
And like a baby boy, I never was a man.
Until I saw your blue eyes cry, and I held your face in my hand.
And then I fell down, yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be.
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

You bend and press your warm lips against my forehead. I reach and cradle your face in my rough hands. I know I cannot make you stay. I have never been able to get you to do anything when your heart is set on doing the exact opposite. Hard as I try, I haven't come to terms with that. I don't think I ever will. Our lips touch and I feel a sob begin in my throat, but I won't let it out. I won't destroy this kiss with my feeble attempts to make you stay.

*Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you...
...for you...for you...for you

You stand and pull me up. You hurriedly wipe your tears away and offer me a faint smile. I don't attempt to give you one back; it's just not worth the effort. You lean forward and your lips touch a tear that's rolling down my skin. The thought crosses my mind to recoil from your touch, but that's not worth the effort either. It's just easier to stand and let you tell me goodbye in the only way you know how; kisses and promises of your return. You cup my cheeks and hold my face at an arm's length from you. Your thumbs wipe the rest of my tears from my cheeks, and outline my lips.
"Jack..."I find myself saying. "Tell me...tell me you hate me." A smirk curls at the corners of your lips. You pull me into your arms and rest your head on my shoulder.
"I love you, you idiot," you murmur and kiss my neck lightly. I curse you inwardly. I should have known you wouldn't make this easy. You lay a final kiss on my cheek then turn. Retrieving your hat from the anvil, you look at me. "I'll come bac'," you say, nodding a nod that is more directed toward yourself than me. You cross to the door. I know you're waiting for me to say something. Something to let you know that I'm not angry with you. But I am angry with you.
"Goodbye," I say flatly. You bite your lip. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's all you're getting.
"Goodbye, Will," you say and leave. Down to the docks where the Pearl awaits you with her crew ready for command. The crew and the ship that you love more than me.
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