Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Tragic Tale of The Black Parade

A Lifeless Love, A Loveless Life

by horsie890 3 reviews

Chapter 6

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst, Drama - Characters: Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Other - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2007-04-18 - Updated: 2007-04-19 - 1575 words

1Insightful
He was still a teenager in the next memory, same black outfit and everything. There was one thing he noticed that was different, though. He was staring into his girlfriend's face.
"You okay?" she asked, smiling sweetly. He nodded numbly, though he had hardly even heard her words. She embraced him, but he remained still and silent as a statue.
"I'm sorry about your friend. It's a real shame."
"Yeah..." He was completely lost for words. She pulled away from him.
"Something else is wrong," she said decidedly. He shook his head.
"No." But there was. She persisted.
"Tell me." Again he refused. He hadn't even figured out what it was yet.
"Fine," she said with a pout. He felt guilty, but that was it.
It clicked in his mind. He knew what was wrong.
"I don't love you." She looked at him with horrified eyes.
"You...you what?" He was more determined now.
"I don't love you," he repeated. She frowned suddenly, then stood and walked away from him. And he knew she would never come back.
"I think I've seen enough." The man's voice entered his mind as the world darkened to black once again. Even though the patient felt like he blended in with the deeper shade, he was getting sick of this. He wanted to know what was going on.
"She truly cared for you, you know," the man said as he appeared before the patient. "You couldn't even come up with a good reason for leaving her."
"It wouldn't have been fair to her...I didn't love her..."
"No, you didn't try to love her. There's a difference. You were so wrapped up in your own problems that you locked yourself away from the world around you. You ignored your friends, your family, your whole life. All because you couldn't accept-"
"My best friend committed suicide!" the patient suddenly shouted, not wanting to hear another word. "What was I supposed to do? Forget about it?" The man shook his head calmly.
"Forget, no. Forgive, yes. You may have said you forgave him. But you didn't. You refused to believe he was gone." The patient glared at him, upper lip curling into a snarl.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to lose someone you care about?" he asked venomously. "Someone you love like a brother?"
"I've already lost my brother," he shot back. He suddenly closed his eyes and breathed deeply, regaining control. That had been foolish. "And I'm doing everything I can to get him back. I don't even know why we're bothering to help someone so thankless." They locked eyes and glared at each other for a moment.
"Despite what you did to her, she still cared about you. She was wise beyond her years." A flash of white light blinded the patient, and when he opened his eyes, he saw that accursed hospital room staring him in the face. He tried to move, but his strength had been drained entirely. He noted the IV in his arm and began to breathe more deeply, hearing his own heart monitor increase ever so slightly.
"I'm glad you're awake," said a sweet voice nearby. He slowly glanced to his left and saw the girl sitting in a chair, looking at him with a soft smile. He tried to speak, but words wouldn't come. Why was she here? He had said to her face that he didn't love her.
"I was starting to get worried. You were asleep for a long time." He inhaled as deeply as possible and licked his lips before attempting to speak again.
"Why are you here?" he asked slowly. It took all of strength just to try and speak. She gently took his cold hand in hers.
"I wanted to see you. I heard what happened, and I knew that even though we weren't together anymore, I felt like I still owed it to you. We were friends for a long time, you know." He nodded with a weak smile, though in his mind his heart had fallen. She really did deserve someone better than him. Someone who would really respect and care for her, not disown her by being wrapped up in his own problems.
"Thanks." He felt whatever strength he had left begin to fade. The chemo was really taking it out of him. He knew he couldn't last much longer. A few days maybe.
She really should leave him. He deserved it. As long as she meant it, more so than he had, then he would be content. But he knew she would never leave him. She really did love him.
"Do you see, now, what I meant?" It was that man's voice again, speaking in his mind. The patient groaned inwardly, trying not to let it show on his face. "She cares for you deeply. And you have finally realized what it means. But she was not the only one you left." The girl vanished, to be replaced with an older woman standing by the window. The patient felt old memories begin to resurface in his mind. He felt like a little kid all over again.
"Mama?"
-
How did you get here?
The words formed in his mind with no sound as he stared at the black abyss before him. He spoke, but heard nothing.
Think.
'My heart. I had cancer and there was a complication with it.'
Yes.
Someone appeared before him. It looked like a woman with thick blond hair, facing away from him. She slowly turned around, hopefully so he could see her face, but there was some kind of mask covering it. No wonder she wasn't speaking.
'Who are you?' the patient thought.
I am Mother War. I come to those with tortured hearts when they pass on. You are special.
The patient blinked in surprise. Why was he so different?
'Me?' The woman nodded.
You did not die in peace. That is why you are truly here. Come, let me show you. You will remember in time. She turned again and took slow steps away from him, and he followed.
-
He stuffed his last pair of black jeans into the backpack, making sure to be as silent as possible. He slid his wallet into one pocket and hauled the bag onto his shoulders. He cautiously stepped down the stairs and grabbed his car keys from the counter, preparing to walk out the front door.
"Where are you going?" The voice startled him. He wasn't sure what to say.
"I'm leaving."
"You can't leave," his mother's voice said firmly.
"I can, and I am," he returned just as firmly, trying not to glare at her.
"Fine. Go to hell." His eyes narrowed.
"We all go to hell. I just want to get there faster." He walked through the door and never looked back.
The world before him turned black once again. Mother War was standing there with her arms crossed. He suddenly felt extremely guilty.
You gave everyone quite a shock when you left. Though she may not have shown it at the time, your mother was the one most worried about you. She waited every day for you to come back.
The patient looked down at his feet, though he could not see them. He felt even worse now.
Do not fear, young one. If all goes well, you will get a chance to make amends. I will do all I can to aid you. Now, if I am not mistaken, they wish to see you again. She faded into the darkness. A sound suddenly began to echo in the space around him. It seemed familiar.
"We're damned after all, through fortune and flame we fall, and if you will say that, I'll show you the way to return from the ashes you call. We all carry on when our brothers in arms are gone, so raise your glass high for tomorrow we die and return from the ashes you call..." The words repeated again. The patient began to walk towards the voice. It belonged to him. The leader. It sounded like something was wrong.
"You have to break out of this," said his brother's voice. The worry was evident in his words. The leader only continued to sing quietly to himself, as if ignoring the world around him. The patient could see them now. The leader was pacing back and forth restlessly with his eyes locked on the ground. His younger brother was standing nearby with a pleading look in his eyes. He glanced over at the patient, and his eyes suddenly narrowed.
"You...Do you see what you've done to him?" he said accusingly. "He's completely out of his mind worrying about you." The patient was taken aback. He hadn't done anything.
"I'll take it from here," said a new voice. The patient looked to his right just as the man appeared. He had wild, dark curly hair that fell to chin length, and his skin was pale like the others'. He looked concerned.
"Please do," said the leader's brother, a look of relief crossing his face. The other man nodded and looked at the patient.
"Come with me. I think you're going to like this," he said with a slight smirk, motioning for the patient to follow him. The black-clad teenager sighed inwardly and walked after him, feeling the repetition begin to set in. It was like being in school all over again.
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