Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Just To Get Back In Her Arms
Just To Get Back In Her Arms
Chapter 1
August 1995
Belleville, NJ
"And here is to a great friend of mine. May college find you better friends than us, and lots and lots of beer. Cheers!" Sarah Bailey raised her beer in the air and took a huge swig before slamming it down on her chair.
Stefanie Cardamone laughed at her best friend. "Thanks Sar. Great speech." She looked around her and couldn't believe that tomorrow, she would be leaving this all behind. Tomorrow she would be leaving New Jersey and heading to upstate New York for college. Since Stefanie was the first of her friends to leave, Sarah put together a little "going away" party in her backyard, since her parents were away for the weekend. There weren't many people there at all, but it was just right for Stef. She had graduated with Sarah, Ashley and Ray and had always been good friends with them. Her younger neighbor Mikey, who was like her own brother, was also there with his friend, Frank. However, there was one important person missing.
"Mikey, where the fuck is your loser brother?" Stef laughed.
"He's, um... he said he'd be here. I don't know, Stef. You know Gerard. He gets sidetracked sometimes."
"Getting high, no doubt," Ashley said. She never really understood Stef's relationship with Gerard. She knew they grew up next door to each other and had been best friends their whole lives, but they were so different in so many ways. Ashley didn't approve of Gerard's excessive alcohol and drug habits, but at the same time she respected Stef and wasn't going to tell her who to be friends with.
"He's such a prick sometimes," Sarah added. She was more friendly with Gerard than Ashley was, but she also didn't like the way Gerard treated Stef. Stef had saved him so many times, yet over the past few years, he began to take advantage of the fact that Stef was always there for him.
"Yeah, well I mean, it's not like I wanted my best friend here anyway. I mean, it's not like tomorrow I leave for college or anything." Stef said this with a laugh, but deep down she was hurt and angry.
"You want me to call him?" Ray asked.
"No, no. Whatever. He'll come if he wants to. I could care less," Stef lied.
Within the next 5 minutes, they all heard a rattling on the side of the house. The gate door swung open and Gerard came staggering into the backyard. "Hellooooo," he said quite obnoxiously.
"Oh look who finally decided to show up," Ashley said, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, real nice to see your already shit-faced. Couldn't wait to drink with the rest of us for Stef's little party? Had to pre-game, ey?" Sarah asked Gerard, who flipped her off.
"Fuck off Bailey," he slurred as he walked over to Stef. Stef, who was less than thrilled, shook her head at Gerard.
He stood before her and put out his hand for her to take. "Sorry I'm late," he said.
"I'm sure as hell you are," she replied. "You're so fucked up right now."
"That I am!" he said with a huge grin on his face.
"I can't believe you," Stef said, as she stood up to walk into the house. Gerard followed her. "Wait!" he yelled.
Stef didn't listen and opened the sliding door, going into the kitchen. Gerard had gone into the kitchen behind her and saw Stef sitting at the table.
"Why?" she asked him.
"What are you talking about?" he replied.
"You know what I'm talking about Gerard. I know your fucked up on more than alcohol right now. You know I'm your best friend and, as that, I have every right to be worried and pissed and so fucking enraged with you! I leave for school tomorrow, Gerard. I'm going 3 hours away from here. And you're going to be in the city. No one will be there to pick you up when you're too screwed to take care of yourself. No one will be there to help you when you can't stop throwing up. I've always been here for you, and you know how I feel about this all, with the drugs and binge drinking. I've always been here... but I can only do so much. And now my last night home? I thought you were going to stop all this. You promised. And look at you. You come late to Sarah's and I can't even get one good night home with you before I leave. Some best friend you are." Stef's eyes began to tear up and she stood up to walk into the living room.
"I, uh... hold on," Gerard said, walking behind her. Stef stopped. "I'm not as bad right now as you think I am," he continued. "I just. You, you look beautiful tonight."
Stef turned around to face him and half-laughed at this statement. "Thanks Gerard, but your compliment is not going to get you out of this one that easily."
"But it's so true," he said, stroking her hair. Stef smiled. As angry as she was, he always did something to make up for it.
"Whatever. You're such a dick," she said with a grin on her face. "Let's go back outside."
"Ok, I'm uh, just gonna go to the bathroom first."
Stef walked outside and sat down next to Ray. They began talking and laughing, and when Gerard came back outside, some form of jealousy came over him. "Stef!" he yelled, and her head snapped up.
"What?" she asked.
"Come here, puhh-lease." he said, motioning with his pointer finger.
"Ugh, fine." Stef walked inside the house with Gerard, who seemed to be angry for an unknown reason.
"What the hell was that?"
"What was what? Ray and I were talking about music... what is your problem?"
"Do you like Ray?"
"God, no. He's just my good friend, and your good friend, too. It's not like you've never seen me talk to Ray before. I don't understand what's going on..."
"Oh nothing, it's just that you were flirting with him."
"I was not! And even if I was, who are you to care about it?"
"So you DO like him?"
"Wow, we are so not having this conversation right now. I really can't believe you're going to start another fight with me tonight, especially over this! Haven't you done enough damage to our friendship within the past 3 years? If we can't manage a friendship now, I don't see how we can once we're both gone. I'm not going to see you til Christmas, but you want to mess things up over something as asinine as me talking to Ray? Grow up." Stef turned to walk away, but Gerard stopped her.
"I want you," he said.
Stef turned around to face him, "Excuse me?"
He leaned in close to her face, placed his hands on her hips, and brushed his face against hers. "I. Want. You. Now," he whispered directly into her ear.
Stef laughed nervously, "You're so wasted and I'm not going to take this seriously, so just stop trying to be funny and let's go back outside."
"I'm serious babe. No joke here." He slurred his words a little bit, but as drunk as he seemed, Stef could tell that he was serious. She had always denied her feelings for Gerard for as long as she can remember, and she never let them get the best of her. But now that was all changing.
"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked.
"Stef, please. Look, I got so screwed up tonight cause I didn't know any other way to tell you this. But I couldn't let you leave tomorrow without saying something. I'm fucked out of my mind right now, but I know one thing and that is I need to have you. Tonight. I should have said something sooner, but I couldn't. But now I am..."
"You're rambling."
"I know, I'm sorry, I just-"
"So shut up," Stef said as she crashed her lips upon his. Their tongues found each other and they both stumbled into the living room. Stef grabbed the collar of Gerard's shirt and continued to forcefully kiss him while the back of his knees hit the arm of the sofa. They both fell onto it, Stef landing on top of Gerard. She giggled and she moved his long, black hair away from his eyes.
Gerard took a deep breath. "I have um, a... you know... in my wallet, if you want to, I mean..."
"I don't know Gerard. I mean, you're not in the best state right now. And what if this is just a drunken hook up? I don't want to get hurt..."
"I would never hurt you."
"But you already have, too many times. You're my best friend, but sometimes I feel like I can't trust you," Stef said as she got off of him and paced the living room floor.
"Then why did you kiss me back Stef? You know you did it for a reason."
He was right. She had done it for a reason. But halfway through their kiss, she came back to reality and realized the circumstances and all that he had to done her. At first, the kiss had seemed so right. Now she wasn't quite sure.
"I just don't know."
"Look babe, I'm a screw up. I don't deserve to have you even as a friend cause you're too good to me and for me. But I'm so serious right now. Believe me. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
Tears began to well up in Stef's eyes. "Please don't lie to me," she said.
Gerard jumped up and put his arms around her neck. "No more lies, no more," he said as he kissed her on the cheek. He had slowly begun to sober up and was positive of every word he was saying. "Please, come upstairs with me," he pleaded.
Stef smiled, "Ok." Gerard grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. For the first time in a long time, Stef believed every word Gerard had said to her. And she let him take her upstairs and make love to her, and she didn't care that people were still at the party. All she wanted was for her last night home to be special.
*****
The next morning, Stef awoke with a slightly fuzzy memory, but quickly remembered the events that took place. She grinned to herself and started to roll over to say good morning to Gerard.
"Hey Gee, I-" She turned around and no one was there next to her. She jumped out of bed and found Sarah down in the kitchen. "Where's Gerard?" she asked, trying to not sound mad.
"Gerard? Girl, he left last night."
"What? Wait, what did he say to you?"
"He just said that you weren't feeling well, so he gave you some of my pajamas and put you in my bed. And then he left. He seemed kind of-"
Before Sarah could finish, Stef ran upstairs back to the bedroom. On her way in, she saw a note on the floor:
Stef,
See you at Christmas.
Sorry,
Gerard
"No more lies," she said out loud. "I believed him. 'No more lies,' he said. Bullshit."
*please review! :-)
Chapter 1
August 1995
Belleville, NJ
"And here is to a great friend of mine. May college find you better friends than us, and lots and lots of beer. Cheers!" Sarah Bailey raised her beer in the air and took a huge swig before slamming it down on her chair.
Stefanie Cardamone laughed at her best friend. "Thanks Sar. Great speech." She looked around her and couldn't believe that tomorrow, she would be leaving this all behind. Tomorrow she would be leaving New Jersey and heading to upstate New York for college. Since Stefanie was the first of her friends to leave, Sarah put together a little "going away" party in her backyard, since her parents were away for the weekend. There weren't many people there at all, but it was just right for Stef. She had graduated with Sarah, Ashley and Ray and had always been good friends with them. Her younger neighbor Mikey, who was like her own brother, was also there with his friend, Frank. However, there was one important person missing.
"Mikey, where the fuck is your loser brother?" Stef laughed.
"He's, um... he said he'd be here. I don't know, Stef. You know Gerard. He gets sidetracked sometimes."
"Getting high, no doubt," Ashley said. She never really understood Stef's relationship with Gerard. She knew they grew up next door to each other and had been best friends their whole lives, but they were so different in so many ways. Ashley didn't approve of Gerard's excessive alcohol and drug habits, but at the same time she respected Stef and wasn't going to tell her who to be friends with.
"He's such a prick sometimes," Sarah added. She was more friendly with Gerard than Ashley was, but she also didn't like the way Gerard treated Stef. Stef had saved him so many times, yet over the past few years, he began to take advantage of the fact that Stef was always there for him.
"Yeah, well I mean, it's not like I wanted my best friend here anyway. I mean, it's not like tomorrow I leave for college or anything." Stef said this with a laugh, but deep down she was hurt and angry.
"You want me to call him?" Ray asked.
"No, no. Whatever. He'll come if he wants to. I could care less," Stef lied.
Within the next 5 minutes, they all heard a rattling on the side of the house. The gate door swung open and Gerard came staggering into the backyard. "Hellooooo," he said quite obnoxiously.
"Oh look who finally decided to show up," Ashley said, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, real nice to see your already shit-faced. Couldn't wait to drink with the rest of us for Stef's little party? Had to pre-game, ey?" Sarah asked Gerard, who flipped her off.
"Fuck off Bailey," he slurred as he walked over to Stef. Stef, who was less than thrilled, shook her head at Gerard.
He stood before her and put out his hand for her to take. "Sorry I'm late," he said.
"I'm sure as hell you are," she replied. "You're so fucked up right now."
"That I am!" he said with a huge grin on his face.
"I can't believe you," Stef said, as she stood up to walk into the house. Gerard followed her. "Wait!" he yelled.
Stef didn't listen and opened the sliding door, going into the kitchen. Gerard had gone into the kitchen behind her and saw Stef sitting at the table.
"Why?" she asked him.
"What are you talking about?" he replied.
"You know what I'm talking about Gerard. I know your fucked up on more than alcohol right now. You know I'm your best friend and, as that, I have every right to be worried and pissed and so fucking enraged with you! I leave for school tomorrow, Gerard. I'm going 3 hours away from here. And you're going to be in the city. No one will be there to pick you up when you're too screwed to take care of yourself. No one will be there to help you when you can't stop throwing up. I've always been here for you, and you know how I feel about this all, with the drugs and binge drinking. I've always been here... but I can only do so much. And now my last night home? I thought you were going to stop all this. You promised. And look at you. You come late to Sarah's and I can't even get one good night home with you before I leave. Some best friend you are." Stef's eyes began to tear up and she stood up to walk into the living room.
"I, uh... hold on," Gerard said, walking behind her. Stef stopped. "I'm not as bad right now as you think I am," he continued. "I just. You, you look beautiful tonight."
Stef turned around to face him and half-laughed at this statement. "Thanks Gerard, but your compliment is not going to get you out of this one that easily."
"But it's so true," he said, stroking her hair. Stef smiled. As angry as she was, he always did something to make up for it.
"Whatever. You're such a dick," she said with a grin on her face. "Let's go back outside."
"Ok, I'm uh, just gonna go to the bathroom first."
Stef walked outside and sat down next to Ray. They began talking and laughing, and when Gerard came back outside, some form of jealousy came over him. "Stef!" he yelled, and her head snapped up.
"What?" she asked.
"Come here, puhh-lease." he said, motioning with his pointer finger.
"Ugh, fine." Stef walked inside the house with Gerard, who seemed to be angry for an unknown reason.
"What the hell was that?"
"What was what? Ray and I were talking about music... what is your problem?"
"Do you like Ray?"
"God, no. He's just my good friend, and your good friend, too. It's not like you've never seen me talk to Ray before. I don't understand what's going on..."
"Oh nothing, it's just that you were flirting with him."
"I was not! And even if I was, who are you to care about it?"
"So you DO like him?"
"Wow, we are so not having this conversation right now. I really can't believe you're going to start another fight with me tonight, especially over this! Haven't you done enough damage to our friendship within the past 3 years? If we can't manage a friendship now, I don't see how we can once we're both gone. I'm not going to see you til Christmas, but you want to mess things up over something as asinine as me talking to Ray? Grow up." Stef turned to walk away, but Gerard stopped her.
"I want you," he said.
Stef turned around to face him, "Excuse me?"
He leaned in close to her face, placed his hands on her hips, and brushed his face against hers. "I. Want. You. Now," he whispered directly into her ear.
Stef laughed nervously, "You're so wasted and I'm not going to take this seriously, so just stop trying to be funny and let's go back outside."
"I'm serious babe. No joke here." He slurred his words a little bit, but as drunk as he seemed, Stef could tell that he was serious. She had always denied her feelings for Gerard for as long as she can remember, and she never let them get the best of her. But now that was all changing.
"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked.
"Stef, please. Look, I got so screwed up tonight cause I didn't know any other way to tell you this. But I couldn't let you leave tomorrow without saying something. I'm fucked out of my mind right now, but I know one thing and that is I need to have you. Tonight. I should have said something sooner, but I couldn't. But now I am..."
"You're rambling."
"I know, I'm sorry, I just-"
"So shut up," Stef said as she crashed her lips upon his. Their tongues found each other and they both stumbled into the living room. Stef grabbed the collar of Gerard's shirt and continued to forcefully kiss him while the back of his knees hit the arm of the sofa. They both fell onto it, Stef landing on top of Gerard. She giggled and she moved his long, black hair away from his eyes.
Gerard took a deep breath. "I have um, a... you know... in my wallet, if you want to, I mean..."
"I don't know Gerard. I mean, you're not in the best state right now. And what if this is just a drunken hook up? I don't want to get hurt..."
"I would never hurt you."
"But you already have, too many times. You're my best friend, but sometimes I feel like I can't trust you," Stef said as she got off of him and paced the living room floor.
"Then why did you kiss me back Stef? You know you did it for a reason."
He was right. She had done it for a reason. But halfway through their kiss, she came back to reality and realized the circumstances and all that he had to done her. At first, the kiss had seemed so right. Now she wasn't quite sure.
"I just don't know."
"Look babe, I'm a screw up. I don't deserve to have you even as a friend cause you're too good to me and for me. But I'm so serious right now. Believe me. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
Tears began to well up in Stef's eyes. "Please don't lie to me," she said.
Gerard jumped up and put his arms around her neck. "No more lies, no more," he said as he kissed her on the cheek. He had slowly begun to sober up and was positive of every word he was saying. "Please, come upstairs with me," he pleaded.
Stef smiled, "Ok." Gerard grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. For the first time in a long time, Stef believed every word Gerard had said to her. And she let him take her upstairs and make love to her, and she didn't care that people were still at the party. All she wanted was for her last night home to be special.
*****
The next morning, Stef awoke with a slightly fuzzy memory, but quickly remembered the events that took place. She grinned to herself and started to roll over to say good morning to Gerard.
"Hey Gee, I-" She turned around and no one was there next to her. She jumped out of bed and found Sarah down in the kitchen. "Where's Gerard?" she asked, trying to not sound mad.
"Gerard? Girl, he left last night."
"What? Wait, what did he say to you?"
"He just said that you weren't feeling well, so he gave you some of my pajamas and put you in my bed. And then he left. He seemed kind of-"
Before Sarah could finish, Stef ran upstairs back to the bedroom. On her way in, she saw a note on the floor:
Stef,
See you at Christmas.
Sorry,
Gerard
"No more lies," she said out loud. "I believed him. 'No more lies,' he said. Bullshit."
*please review! :-)
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