FicWad

He tastes like you only sweeter
I was singing to myself Thnks Fr Th Mmrs while twisting my dreads in the mirror.

"They look good." I looked over and smiled at Patrick, who was standing in the doorway.

"Well thank you. I like 'em." I giggled towards the mirror and kept twisting.

"I heard you singing..."

I laughed. "Oh yeah... it's weird singing my lyrics as someone else's song, it's like the feelings that I felt while I was writing it come rushing back through your voice."

Patrick scooted passed me and took a seat on the toilet. "What were you feeling when you wrote that?"

I looked down in thought. "Well, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs is one of the few songs that most of the lyrics are Pete's, but he just worked around lines that I said... it was after Pete cheated on me. It tore me apart, so I got involved with this really bad, bad guy which was a really awful decision but I was just that hurt ya know?'

I dropped my last dread, I was done twisting and turned to Patrick, leaning on the sink.

I continued. "Pete called me and we got into a fight about the girl he slept with, and things blew up even more when I felt the need to rub it in his face that I hooked up with this guy. Anyway, he started screaming at me and then I shouted 'FUCK YOU PETE AND YEAH, HE TASTE LIKE YOU --- ONLY SWEETER!' then I hung up on him. Then, I guess he wrote a song around it."

I laughed... thinking about how childish that conversation was.

Patrick laughed. "Wow -- you guys were pretty immature huh?"

I looked up at him and smiled with my eyes. "Yeah, Pete has that talent of bringing our the immaturity in people."

Patrick laughed, then quickly making his face slightly more serious. "Will you tell me what happened? With your accident?"

I took a breath in. "Uhm... maybe some other time?"

Patrick patted his lap and put his arms out and I laughed and moved across the tiny bathroom and took a seat on his lap, putting one arm around the back of his neck while he wrapped his arms around my waist. He was holding me surprsingly tight.

He whispered very close to my mouth. "Okay... some other time."

Our lips were inches apart his hot breath on my lips sent chills down my spine. I slid my fingers through his hair and he smiled at me, looking deep into my eyes. He tightened his grip on my waist and tilted his head.

I pulled away. I sighed and pressed my lips together. I took a breath. "Patrick--"

He closed his eyes and pulled me in, closer... his breath hotter. "Yes?"

Once again, a chill down my spine. "I think... I'm gonna go."

Patrick looked confused. He kept his grip on my body but pulled his head back. "What?! Why?"

I tried not to look at him. "I just -- I'm gonna go."

He sighed out of anger and took his hands from around my waist. I looked at him and stood up, then turned to walk out with my head to the ground. I closed the door behind and heard a grunt and something sound as though it hit the wall hard and fall on the ground.

I closed my eyes and walked back to my bunk, trying to figure out in my mind what the fuck just happened and why the fuck didn't I give in to the nicest guy I've ever met when he wanted to kiss me?!
I always had this thing where I thought I never deserved guys who treated me nicely.
I have a habit of chosing hott guys who make sucky boyfriends. They were my forte.
I didn't feel as though I ever deserved something with a guy who actually treated me right.
I was too scared to show feelings for Patrick, I liked him too much to get my heart broken by someone I actually cared about.

**************

For the rest of the day, Patrick was in a bad mood. He was not only embarrassed, but he was angry. I was embarrassed, I was slowly regretting my decision to not kiss him and kept to myself, mainly isolating myself in my bunk.

Later on I heard a knock on the wall of my bunk and I opened my curtain.

"Hey Joe, what's going on?"
Joe looked at me. "Hey can I come in?"

I scooted over and Joe slid into the bunk, sitting up next to me. He closed the curtain.

"Whats up?!"

He took a breath. "I just wanted to talk to you. I know that girls like talking about boys and stuff, and it must be hard cause you have no other girls on the bus to talk to... so basically think of me as your newest bestest girlfriend."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Whats on your mind Joseph?!!"

He laughed and put his hand on my thigh. "Now Rachel -- I've seen you hanging around Beckett quite often during these past 5 days."

I laughed. "Meaningless flirtations Joe."

He laughed. "Meaningless huh? Well, so you're not interested?"

I shrugged "Well, I mean he's a cool guy but I don't know."

Joe shifted. "Patrick's a cool guy too."

I laughed and looked down and played with my cover. "Yeah he is." I sighed. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Joe looked at me and grinned. "Of course girlfriend --anything!"

"I always have this mindset that I don't deserve good guys... guys like Patrick."

Joe looked puzzled. "Why?"

I hesitated for a second or two. "You know what? I don't know why. Isn't that stupid?"

"It actually is pretty stupid. You deserve someone great."

I raised my eyes and looked at him. "You know what? Maybe I do."

We heard the breaks of the tour bus and a sudden stop indicated that we had made it to our next destination. Joe and I made a face at eachother and simultaniously made our way out of the bunk.

The Academy Is must have gotten there before us because William was right outside the bus door and hopped on as soon as it stopped. I turned the corner and saw him walking down the hallway.

"What's up Patrick?"

Patrick looked at him and turned away, not saying anything.

William shrugged it off and caught my eye. "Hey you!! I couldnt wait to see you..."

He ran passed Patrick and Joe and scooped me up in his arms, kissing me hard on the mouth. It was a surprise, considering he only inititated affection off the bus and in front of fans.

I pulled away and caught Patrick's eyes. They looked hurt. I looked at William. "Hi. Uh whats up?"

He pulled my hand. "I have to talk to you -- about us."

Once again, I glanced at Patrick and he immediately looked down.

I shook my head. "Oh what about us?"

He cupped my face and pulled my hair back with his palms. "I really like you Rachel and I can't stop thinking about you."

I heard Joe breath out heavily and I bit my lip and looked at William. "Can we talk in private?"