FicWad

a/n :: Thanks everyone... especially to those who say they like Rachel's personality because I actually modeled her after myself, which I havn't done before in a story. Her style and her attitude are exactly like mine... just without the whole coma thing. So wow, thanks guys!!

It was the fourth show with The Academy Is, and things couldn't be better.
No, nothing 'official' with William Beckett has happened, but I still pretend to be his girlfriend in front of fans. Just fun... pure fun. Ergh, why is it I start to sound like a 14 year old gaping over Pete Wentz when I think about Beck holding my hand and kissing my cheek in front of cameras? I'm so weird.

"Hey." Patrick's mellow voice shook me out of my thoughts and I smiled at him. He still was being distant and I severly doubted me getting through with him. Oh well... some people are just not meant to have awesome friends like me anyway.

He had a box in his hand and took a seat at the table across from me. He put the box on the table in front of me.

"What's this?!" I stopped doodling on my notepad, suddenly interested in this box.

"I found it with Pete's stuff... I thought you might want to look at it." I looked at him, then back at the box. I took the top of and my hands immediately cupped my nose and mouth as my eyes focused on what was inside.
I slowly removed my hands from my face and shaking, reached into the box filled with pictures.

There were tons of pictures of me and Pete from when we dated, way more than he showed me four nights ago. There were a few newspaper clippings with articles titled about a girl who had been shot downtown Chicago. My hands continued to shake as I looked through them.

My eyes watered when I saw the one thing that started this. My notebook. My notebook I had left at Pete's house, filled with literally hundreds of lyrics and doodles and melodies. It was a blast from the past and I couldn't help but get emotional.

My voice shook as I spoke "These are my lyrics. This, Patrick, this was my life."

I wiped a tear away from my cheek and sniffled in and smiled. "Thank you for showing me this."

Patrick shook his head. "No Rachel. Seriously - thank you. Without you, we would be nothing. You really are incredible."

I laughed through sob and looked back down in the box. Patrick picked up the picture of me in the grass that was sitting on top of one of the picture piles.

"You look so beautiful in this picture."

I laughed "I'm making a funny face."

He smiled. "I like it. It's very you."

I shook my head. "No. It's who I used to be. I'm so sick of putting on this tough girl act now, I'm so sick of being so guarded. That's when I was free."

Patrick smiled at me. "Well, we'll just have to free you again, won't we? Would it help if you got dreadlocks again... I bought a kit for you."

I smiled and started crying again. It was a mixture of happiness, shock, memories, and all around relief that I could finally cry. "You bought me a dread kit?"

Patrick reached into his laptop bag and pulled out a box and handed it to me.

I smiled. "Should we do it now?!"

Patrick laughed. "We?"

"Yeah -- you have to help me... don't worry, I'm a pro at tightening dreads, I'll tell you what to do."

We both stood up to get started. I stopped in front of Patrick and hugged him. "Thank you so much." He pulled away and wiped moisture from a tear off of my cheek and smiled.

"Honestly - you deserve so much more."

************

With Patrick's help, two and a half hours later I had my dreadlocks back and they were on their way to looking good... just a little bit more twisting every day and they'd be perfect.

We arrived at the venue and I ran off the bus, eager to show William my hair.
He hugged me and kissed my head, exclaiming how much he loved it.
We rounded the corner, his arm draped over my shoulder and the sounds of fans got louder as we walked toward the entrance.
William waved at them with his free arm and kept his head close to me, bent down to keep close to me, even though I was so much shorter than him.

I wondered to myself how long this was gonna last. If it was just a fun little thing to play around with or if we were ever going to become a real couple. I told myself that tonight, after the show, I would talk to him about it. Tell him I had feelings for him.

After the show, I walked through the halls of the venue's backstage looking for William to talk to him. I heard his voice coming from a room and walked towards it but slowed down as I overheard the conversation.
I recognized the other voice, it was Patrick's.
I stood at the doorway and listened.
Don't worry; I'll break it down...

Patrick :: "Hey Dude -- can I ask you a question?"
William :: "Yea, what's up?"
Patrick :: "What's the deal with Rachel?"

I almost stopped breathing at the sound of my name to make every thing even more silent so I can hear all that better.

William :: "What do you mean? She's a cool girl. I feel bad for her, she probably hasn't gotten laid in like what 5 years?"
Patrick :: "Uhm okay... but are you giving her attention because you feel sorry for her or because you're attracted to her?"
William :: "No she's alright, I can see myself getting to like her."

See myself getting to like her? Well, that was a little odd... but hey! He's cute so I guess I can take it and wait until the point where he 'gets to like me'.

William :: "I wish she didn't give herself dreads though -- I'm not much about them."
Patrick :: "You said you liked them the other night."
William :: "Oh god! Do you think that's why she got them? Do you think she's actually into me? I don't want tohardcore lead her on... I figured I could just give her some action."

This kid was rediculous. But once again, I can't really complain. It is nice to get at least some attention from a guy... even if it is out of pity. Maybe that's just the best I can do at the moment.

Patrick :: " Bill, don't do Rachel any favors alright... you're just gonna end up making a mess of things."

I sensed that the conversation was coming to a close so I quickly walked away before any of them saw me standing there.
Mixed emotions flooded within me. I didn't even deserve a guy as gorgeous as William Beckett, so the fact that he just feels sorry for me is only what I deserve. Let's face it, I havn't had much luck in the 'nice guy department' so why start now?

I went back to the bus and sat on my bunk and stared at the little circular mirror I hung up on the wall next to my bed.
Fuck Beckett... I like my dreads.


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YAY!! I like this chapter... its sloppy but for some reason it makes me emotional. I don't know why... it just makes me happy. Possibly because I know what's happening next?! Well -- if you want to know too, keep the reviews and ratings coming... they keep me motivated!!

THANKS LOVES