FicWad

I am a lousy writer
-hits head on keyboard-

Don't get me wrong, I'm good and I know it.
But that's all I've got; talent.
I don't have the dedication required of serious writers.
And I'm not really putting my talent to proper use.
EVIE is a good writer.
That girl has talent AND dedication.

There's more qualities required of serious writers, I just can't think of them right now.

And I want to write, oh, I want to write BADLY. After the whole FicWad fiasco the other day...-shudders-.

See, that was moving day for my dad and step mum. I was dashing back and forth between piles of boxes and my laptop on the empty livingroom floor. Then my step mum asked me to help her get all the gardening stuff out of the shed in the back yard, so I stepped outside.

The moving truck on my front lawn had Arizona license plates, which made me think of Evie. It said "ILLINOIS" on the side in huge letters, which made me think of Chicago, which made me think of Fall Out Boy. Fall Out Boy plus Evie made me think of FicWad, and FicWad made me burst into tears. I kinda lied to my parents and said I was crying 'cause I was sad about moving, but I think they were suspicious because every time I got a new comment on Myspace, I'd cry harder.

(I have never received so many comments and messages at once, by the way)

Izzy, you're lucky you weren't online during that. It was horrible, the thought that all my stories and reviews and ratings were gone, and everyone would have to start from scratch.

But it got fixed, so s'all good.
I didn't really want to have to make our own website, it'd be lots of work and just wouldn't be the same.

You know, today I realized something: I can't write unless I'm listening to Fall Out Boy. And not just fanfic, I can't write ANYTHING without a little FOB. That's why I sneak my iPod to school, even though they aren't aloud. In English, I have instant writer's block unless I'm listening to FOB.
It helps me concentrate. Hey, is it possible for something like dyslexia to have good days and bad days? Because FOB seems to help my dyslexia. It's only mild, but still, it's enough to frustrate the hell out of me. I feel sorry for people who've got it bad, like my mum. It sucks enough having it mildly -_-

Hell, I can hardly even THINK without FOB.
If I have serious thinking to do, guess what's in my stereo.
I love all my other music, but most of it doesn't really make me think.
Probably only Paramore and a few other random songs.
But Fall Out Boy is the best.

I kind of miss the way they used to be...has anyone noticed that they've kind of...grown up? I don't even know how to explain it. They've just...changed.

Sometimes I forget why I write fanfiction, you know. It's not even about the boys anymore, it's about getting the next chapter fucking done and out of my way.

I am perfectly aware of the fact that WFTC is a complete and total disaster.
The idea I had in mind was wonderful, but I just didn't write it properly. I hate the way I developed the characters.

See, I started that on a whim. I didn't write down an outline or anything of the sort. I have no goals to achieve, and now it's too late to go back and change much, so the ending will be different than I originally intended. HSASC, SWABH, LLSS, all had outlines. SYHM has a plan, I just can't get around to finishing it. And 'The moon don't hang...'...ugh. I kind of screwed that one, I might delete it. I love it, but I intended it to be five chapters, one thing led to another...and now I need more time to finish the damn thing.

I've been on hiatus for the last month and a half, it just wasn't official.

Grr. I am trying really hard to finish WFTC, because I want to introduce my new big project, which I am incredibly excited about. I've already outlined it.

But then there's another one that I want to write, too...I've had it outlined since July, and Tara's read my samples...it's a good idea, but I always promise myself I'll start it as soon as I'm done one story, then another gets my attention...

So...yeah.
I'm not even gonna bother promising to write, because it probably won't happen.

X
Lexi