FicWad

AN; Elysium is a latin word for certain section of the underworld in Greek mythology. There is always spring there, and its fields were the final resting place of the souls of the heroic and the virtuous.
This is my first fic ever. Please tell me what you think, even if you hate it! I've worked hard on this, so I beg for some rewievs. Forgive the possible spelling errors and such,i don't have spellchecker.
There is also some foul language, so if you're offended by that, don't read further.
Bilbos words, that Gerard is thinking about, for those who don't know, were "I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday."
*

"Are you sure that you're.. well, sure about this?"
Gerard looked at one of his best friends, but said nothing. The reason to that was, that he wasn't as sure as he told everyone. He wasn't able to tell himself not to worry and let things settle, so there was no way for him to tell someone else 'he was sure'. So instead he just sighed and looked out of Franks dirty cars window again. The car was parked in front of a small and old-looking building. It looked nice though, peaceful and calm in the middle of modern skyscrapers.
Suddenly Gerard felt amused. Everything that had happened in his life in last years; every face he had seen, every single memory, every achievement he had been part of making, would have never happened if it wasn't for that day in the same city years ago that he was in now.
New York. He had been there that morning. Morning of a day, that was supposed to be just as typical, normal, average, busy, windy as any other day. Sure he had been in NY countless times after that, spent many morning there, but this time something felt different. God knows what will get started before the day ends, he wondered, and was slightly terrified of that thought.
"Dude, I'm not gonna let you stay here if you cant even say you're fucking sure", Frank said bit irritated this time.
Gerard could feel Franks eyes on him, but he couldn't make himself turn and give him the comforting words. He knew he had to, but he didn't really want to. How do you explain something you don't understand? How do you convince someone else, when there's a tiny voice screaming in your head, telling you you're NOT doing the right thing?
After the huge Black Parade tour, after selling millions of copies of their cd, after visiting new countries, new places, meeting new fans, Gerard felt weird. He had been so occupied by all the madness going on around him, as the only member of his band without that special someone to talk things like this with and through, he felt more worn-out than ever. He remembered Bilbos words from the beginning of the movie Lord of the Rings, and he now knew what that meant.
Sure he had his band mates, the four men he would die for and knew would die for him, but for some reason it just didn't feel the same anymore. Two of them were married now, third engaged and the fourth deeply in love. Even if Gerard didn't really want to admit it, jealousy had creeped into back rounds of his mind. Seeing all of them happy made him happy too of course, but it also made him want something like that for himself.
But, Gerard thought, that's not the real fucking problem. That was something dark that lurked with him like a shadow.
He wasn't depressed, or sliding into depression. In some sick way, he thought, that would be even better than what he was feeling, better than what he was sensing now. Because then he would know what was going on, and he could have some control over it. Feeling of powerlessness was some what terrifying to him.
While spending time doing nothing in his apartment, while eating his mothers delicious meals and while hanging around with his best friends, his brothers, he felt like looking at it and not like living it. He felt like he was standing in front of window and on the other side there was a play going on about his life.
Most people around him didn't seem to notice anything. If they did, they sure didn't make comments about it. When he came up with his idea, they had all just stared at him the same way you stare at something that just crawled out of its hole on the ground.
"Gee", Frank almost begged.
Focus, Gerard spat at himself in his head. He turned to look at Frank and let a smirk spread on his face.
"I didn't know you'd miss me that much. I mean, it is only two weeks", he let out slowly.
Franks eyes popped open and smiled lopsidedly.
"You know how I like to sneak around your windows at night and watch you sleep like the best weirdo in town", Frank said in serious tone. Gerard chuckled . He had made the right move and now he could hear the concern leave his friends voice.
"Poor Jamia, what does she do when his husband wonders around staring at other men?"
"Who says she knows?"
"Married only for few months and already keeping secrets you little perv ?"
Frank giggled, took a deep breath and then turned serious again. Shit, Gerard thought.
"I will not start to discuss with you about who really is the kinky perv here", Frank said slowly and then let out a cough that sounded like 'you'.
"But, 'cause we've sat here for nice twenty minutes now, you either come back home like a good puppy or you stay", Frank kept a pause while he leaned forward to look at the building, "here."
Gerard looked at him not knowing should he be annoyed or amused. He decided to let it go, and said;
"I'll stay Frank. I have my sidekick so you can call if something terrible happens, like if Ray finds a carrion from his fro or if Alicia pops the kid out before its time and you guys notice the kid looks very much like you", Gerard said ignoring the glance at Franks face, "or something like that."

Ten minutes later Gerard waved at the back of the blue BMW and watched as it turned to left at the corner and disappeared. Few kids dressed in clothes seven sizes too big for them passed by him and gave him looks, but said nothing. Guess I'm not that popular in the rap-circles, he thought. and readjusted the hood of his hoodie.
Wind blew his hair from his face and gave him chills. It was supposed to be spring, but the temperature didn't seem to rise that much. Gerard sighed yet again and hopped the few steps to the door of the building.
The door was clearly old, little damaged, but still neat. It had small sign nailed on to it, saying 'Halloway Motel'. Gerard didn't know any other motel in NY, there was a sea of fancy hotels but not motels. He knew this place just by a coincidence, his mothers cousins daughter had spent some holiday staying there. He hadn't even considered any big hotels he usually lived while touring this time, 'cause he wanted privacy. Paparazzies wouldn't lurk around these, almost suburb, corners to catch celebrities. As much as he loved his fans, he had learned to dislike pretty much every member of the press.
Gerard pushed the door open and stepped in. The first word that came into his head to say about the lobby he was in, was cozy. It wasn't fabulous or expensive-looking, it was quite simple yet beautiful; dark colors mixed with light colors. High, narrow windows let a lot light in, and it made the room look bigger than it really was.
Behind the small, black counter stood a black-haired woman. She was typing something to old computer and she had headphones on her ears. Gerard could hear the serene sound of the music she was listening to. He thought he recognised the song, but he couldn't remember the name. The woman nodded her head a little and clearly hadn't noticed him.
Gerard watched her for a brief moment. It was nice for change to be in same room with someone not-friend, who didn't immediately start to stare at him like he was an alien. He felt invisible, standing there just few meters from her and still un-noticed. And to be honest, he really liked it. Gerard felt kind of sad knowing that just in few seconds she'd look up, look little surprised, then get the expression of slight shock on her face and then start mumbling about how she knew who he was. Sometimes, Gerard thought, it would be nice to be goddamn normal.
He sighed, making a note to himself that he had sighed awfully lot this morning, and took the few missing steps to the counter.
"Hi," he said quite loudly.
The woman looked up. Gerard couldn't help but to notice how amazing her eyes were. She was young, otherwise average-looking, but her eyes were really beautiful. For Gerard's surprise, she didn't look surprised or shocked or like anything people look like when they meet a famous person. She looked relieved and she smiled at him.
"Oh thank god!," she praised, "there's this fancy named guest coming today and the toilet of his room isn't working. So THANK GOD you're here already." Gerard stared at the woman having no clue what she was talking about.
"Wha-," he started to ask only to be interrupted. She frowned and asked:
"You are the plumber, right?"