FicWad

Throwing his keys on the table, Patrick continued into his condo. It was the first time he was back since he left for tour. It was great to be home, but it also felt so empty. How can your own home not feel so cozy? To almost feel like an outsider where you should be the most like yourself. Walking into the kitchen he opened the fridge hoping for something different to drink. Smiling, he took out one small 12 oz bottle of Sprite. He expected to find it bare I mean, what do you expect when you're gone for six weeks? Opening it he took a drink.

Turning the light off he dragged his luggage into his bedroom. He wasn't in the mood to do laundry so it could stay in there until he was ready to get to it. Patrick knew he was pretty messy, and was probably the worst when it came to being organized so he wouldn't go out of his way to create a mess right now. Turning on the bedroom light, he scanned the room and noticed the note with his name scribbled across it laying on his laptop. It was one he liked to keep at home, it was his old one. Part of him was afraid to go closer to it. He could only imagine what was written. He didn't want to be reminded, he wanted to forget. Pretend it never happened. It hurt too much to think about it. No, it was emotional torture to think about.

Sighing, he closed his eyes and allowed his feet to guide him to the other side of the room. Taking a deep breath he slowly picked up the note and what lay next to it. Holding the key in his right hand he let his thumb run over it. It was more like a nail in the way it finalized what he was trying to avoid at all costs. The handwriting just started to remind him of so many things. Her smile, her laugh, scent. Her.

Opening it, Patrick braced himself for what could be written.

Smile Pumpkin Pie, it's okay

You probably just returned home from tour. So welcome home. I cleaned the condo before I left. Thought I would help you out and I bought you a few things to last until you're able to get to the supermarket yourself. I even cooked some stuff and put it in tupperware in the fridge. I hope that was okay. Anyway, just relax while you're home, I know you'll be leaving for tour again soon. Enjoy your time off.
Here is the key to the apartment. Thank you for inviting me to live with you. It was the most amazing months in my life. I loved falling asleep in your arms or waking up to you, on those occasions you were home. I'm not angry Patrick, I can't be. Music is who you are and I love who you are. Everything about you. This wasn't an ultimatum either, so I hope you don't hate me. I didn't give up on us. This is just where our life led us, I guess.
Life will bring you so many amazing things Patrick. Just enjoy it. I wish you only happiness and great health. You deserve so much good and great things. You will find a woman to give you everything I couldn't. Your career will skyrocket and you will succeed in every endeavor you ever choose to take. That is how much I believe in you. It is how talented and determined you are. This world would be incomplete without you.
I am kind of avoiding getting to the point of this letter. It hurts to be writing this especially thinking about you reading it. I just wanted to thank you for three years of amazing laughs and memories. Thank you for showing me what real love feels like. Thank you for being such an amazing man. What you mean to me could never be justified in words. What you've given to me could never be explained accurately in this letter. So thank you, for everything. You'll always be my favorite Pumpkin pie. (yes, even before your mom's Pumpkin squares.)

If you ever need me, I will always be there for you. I will always love you. Always and forever.
You're marshmallow.
Michele


Patrick closed his eyes trying to stop the tears from escaping. He didn't want to cry over her anymore. Three years and now she was gone. It wasn't fair. Losing her was the first thing that made him contemplate giving up Fall Out Boy. All the money and fame in the world does not mean anything when you lose someone you love. A woman you thought about spending your life with. Patrick wanted to give her more. He wanted to be the man she deserved but, he had an obligation to his band. He had to write, record, and tour. Taking a sharp breath and sucking in his bottom lip, Patrick folded the letter and put it away.

That's why home felt so empty. The only love of his life was gone. Three years with the most amazing woman in the world and he just let her go. No, he fought, maybe just not hard enough because she was gone. How could she thank him when she was the reason he could do anything in his life. She gave him that determination and she believed in him. Michele was his support, his heart, what he wanted to be his everything. She never made him choose her or the band, but he knew it was hard for her to deal with. He hated walking away to go on that plane. He hated only hearing her voice when he found time to call. Patrick knew she had it so much worse. He had his bandmates and schedules to keep him busy. She was alone and now so was he.

Putting the key in the drawer, Patrick got ready for bed. Laying down all he could do was smell that intoxicating scent that kept him going. That scent that would soon vanish just like her. No more laughs, no more memories. Putting his hand on her pillow he smiled at the nights they would lay there just staring at each other, lovingly. That is when he felt alive. Closing his eyes he could picture her beautiful face just there with him. Life was going to be different without her there. He was going to be different without her. Michele might have moved out, but she will always be in his heart. Always and forever.








Thank you for reading! I do not like to solicit reviews but,I am starting to lose my faith in ficwad and my writing. I know my stories are getting read but no one is commenting. So please, if you read it, review it. I don't care if it says you hate it, tell me why and it is a justified response. My writing adapts to my reviews. You can tell many of my stories orginated as short one chapters and because of reviews continued to full stories. I enjoy writing, and I hope you enjoy reading my stories. This is my first Patrick story. I have written many Joe stories and even some Pete ones. I would greatly appreciate a review on any of them. Thank you again